AN : Here it is, I'm still not ecstatic with it, but here it is, Hopefully you like it.

Unfortunately no beta because I will be taking a bit of a trip within the next two weeks and will not have a computer for about 6 months, SO that being said, I am hoping to get this story done within the next two weeks, and that means no beta unless you know someone who can beta within a day, if you do PM me:)

Hope you enjoy… Charmed1of2 thank you so much for all your work on the story up till this point, I hope everything is A okay, where you are! because I haven't heard from you in a bit.

ENJOY

It was the first day of the sixth month, and it was hot out. The summer months had come with a vengeance and it didn't look like they were going to calm down. Sam could feel the sweat starting to form underneath his bandana, making his head itch with discomfort as he drove back to the house from the hospital.

He had been expecting the discomfort; the first day of treatment was always, by far, the worst day of the whole chemo process. But he hadn't been expecting the overwhelming heat, he could feel his face flushing as his stomach began to turn.

Giving his head a quick shake as he held back an unexpected gag, his mouth was overcome with the after taste of chemo. Sam had never read any book stating chemo could revisit via burping, and he doubted it was the actual chemo making a reappearance. But he definitely had some unpleasant re-visitations from chemo that left an odd taste in his mouth, which he knew he would never forget.

Sam could feel, and hear his stomach tossing, it's gurgling bringing Deans attention to him as well.

"How you doing Sam?"

The young man had a hard time responding, scared to open his mouth as he just nodded his response. Something was different this time around; something was off about how he felt.

Sure he had always felt nauseous, but this, this was different. He could feel his face flushing even deeper as he continued to sweat, the flushing spread throughout his entire body as his mouth filled with saliva and he swallowed hard.

"We're almost there Sam" Dean said as if sensing his brother's sudden discomfort.

But time seemed to slow as Sam continued to swallow hard. Urging, begging, pleading with his stomach to calm down. The house finally coming into view, the car had hardly stopped before Sam was throwing the door open, rushing to the front door. Dean right behind him, stepping ahead of his brother so he could unlock the door before Sam plowed right through.

The younger brother was fighting his biggest battle since he had gotten sick, it was a battle of will between him, his stomach and the bile that was residing within it. And Sam was fighting hard as he hurried to the bathroom, not pausing for anything as he felt the slight sense of relief at seeing the porcelain toilet.

Moving as quick as he could, he continued to swallow hard, burping in-between, as he fought back his emotions, which were rising up as quickly as the bile, as he took a seat on the cool tile as he bowed his head to the porcelain god.

He could feel his meager stomach contents continue to rise as he hovered his head over the opening. Concentrating on his breathing as he continued to fight the losing battle between good and bile.

Deans presence clung to Sam as his vision swam. Finally the younger brother forced his head away from the mouth of the toilet bowl as he tried to concentrate on the floor between his knees.

Sam was sick and tired of vomiting, sick of feeling nauseous and just sick to hell of feeling like shit day in and day out. He watch the yellow vinyl begin to sway, he felt his body begin to sway with it as the bile moved up. He felt the hot sting in the back of his throat, as the tears cascaded over onto his cheeks, he didn't want to do this.

"Its okay Sammy" A calm voice said from above, almost as if the heavens had opened their doors, sending a comforting presence for him in wake of his need. Sam watched as his brothers hand dropped down and moved the dangling port out of harms way. "Its okay Sammy." He said once more, placing a hand on Sams back as the younger brother gave in to the inevitable.

NEXT DAY

It had been a bad night, for both brothers. There was no other way to describe what had gone down in the small house.

Sam had spent most of the night curled up on the bathroom floor, and Dean had spent the night curled up in the bathtub. It had been rough on Sam, who couldn't hold anything down expect water.

Anything he ate came right back up, and when there was nothing there he was stuck dry heaving until neon green bile made an appearance, and it didn't look to be slowing down any time soon.

The brothers sat in the small daycare, it was pretty open since it was still early and since Sam had his port hooked, it didn't take much for the nurses to hook up the IV.

An exhausted Sam looked up at the IV, watching intently as it continued to drip the clear drug into his system. He watched the drug move down the IV line as he felt the saliva pool in his mouth once more, prompting him to place a hand over his stomach as he moaned.

"When is it going to get better?" He pleaded to no one in particular.

"Shhh Sammy." Dean urged, looking up to the nurse who had just walked in. The older brothers eyes brimmed with unshed tears, begging her to help. But with a soft shrug of her shoulders and a simple shake of her head she was back in the main day care area, away from the struggling brothers.

Dean gave up on keeping the tears back and he cringed slightly as they began to fall. Looking back down at Sam who was tossing and turning, a hand clamped firmly over his stomach as he moaned in pain. Dean wasn't sure what to do, didn't know how to help so he held the Kay basin in front of his younger brothers face.

TWO HOURS LATER

Sam had finally calmed down, succumbing to the slumber brought on by the benedryll.

"You should go and get something to eat." The gentle voice of the nurse broke through Dean's thoughts. "While he's sleeping, you're no good to him if you get sick as well."

The older brothers mind reeled at the thought of being sick, his thoughts drifting back to how useless he had been when he had the chicken pox.

Wiping a sweaty hand down his face as his stomach growled, "Ya, okay, I'll only be a few minutes." Looking down at his brother's peaceful face, "What if he wakes up?"

"I'll stay with him." The nurse offered as she shuffled Dean out of the small space and sat in his spot.

The older brother knew he had no choice, there was no way the nurse was going to let him sit there in peace until he got something in his system. But it didn't matter, he was still torn in his decision, knowing that he had to eat something to stay healthy but not wanting to leave his brothers side.

"Go."

The simple word was all Dean needed as he turned to head out of the now crowded room. Keeping his eyes down as he looked at all of the children who were sick, struggling to cope with the effects of the drugs, just like his brother.

Dean could feel his sense of guilt begin to wallow deep within as he walked out the door and out of the sickness. He knew he could just walk away, pretend it wasn't happening, but Sam. Sam couldn't do that, no, even if he walked out of the room he was still plagued with the illness.

' Sam can never get out!' his mind screamed at him as he quickly walked away, pushing the thoughts from his head as he focused on the hospital food he was going to be eating.

Before he knew it he was standing in the small cafeteria, it was small, but it wasn't the worst café he had ever been in, at least this one looked somewhat presentable. The selection of food varied between soups and sandwiches, and a few other hot foods like chicken fingers and of course the trademark Turkey dinner.

"Well look who it is."

Dean's ears perked at the sound of the voice, remembering the woman he had met from before. It seemed that all of his stress was effortlessly lifted away with her gentle voice as he put on his smile and turned to her.

"Hey."

That's all the older brother needed to go from a friendly hello to sitting for lunch with the red head, his thoughts of Sam momentarily drifting away with the pretty smile and pleasant conversation. He hadn't gone out with anyone since Sam had fallen ill and he missed it.

"So are you stalking me around the hospital or is there a reason why you're always here?"

Dean smiled at the question, not sure what to say, but not wanting her to know how uncomfortable he was.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well… I'm here with my mother. She had a bit of an accident where she fell down some stairs and broke her hip. But she should be getting out of here soon."

The older brother just nodded, realizing that he couldn't avoid the question any longer.

"My brother…" He started with a quick shake of his head, "Has… a nasty cold. But like you, we're getting out of here soon as well." He could feel his stomach drop as the lie snuck past his lips.

"Well that's good news that you'll be able to head home soon. Do you live far from here?"

Dean couldn't believe that the girl believed it, but than again why wouldn't she?

"No, no, just down the road."

"Nice. Well maybe we'll meet again. I'm around this area as well." She smiled, winking as she got up and left.

Dean just watched her leave, mesmerized by everything about her. Giving his head a quick shake his thoughts cleared and his heart raced, "Shit, Sam!"

Dean ran down the halls back to the Daycare, not bothering with the elevator as he ran up 4 flights of stairs, taking them two at a time. Cursing himself as he ran for staying away for so long while his brother lay sick in bed.

"No more girls, nor more anyone, till Sam is better." Dean chanted as he slowed his run down to a brisk walk as he walked back into the stench of cancer, back into the daycare. Quickly making his way over to his brother who lay alone, vomit covering a bit of his shirt as he retched into a small Kay basin.

"Hey Sammy." Dean said, putting a hand on his brothers back, pissed that the nurse had left his brother, but really just angry with himself.

"Dean?" Sam gasped out in between the bouts of heaving.

"Shh, don't worry, I'm here, and I'm not leaving again."

Sam nodded as he continued to keep his head over the basin while Dean sat idly beside him.

THREE WEEKS LATER.

The brothers had made it through their first bottom out since their father had left, and it hadn't been as bad as either of them had thought it was going to be. Sam didn't have a fever, and he managed to get through the nights without waking from the joint pain. So all in all, the second half of the month had gone much better compared to the first, and Sam couldn't be more grateful.

He lay on the couch in the family room, his eyes trained to the small television, the one thing he had never really watched before he got sick. But now it was the only way he knew how to pass his days. Especially when Dean was not around, which was the case on this afternoon.

Dean had gone out to refill Sam's meds, leaving the younger brother on the couch, his joints, still sore, and what little movement Sam made, even with the assistance of his brother, left him out of breath and nauseous. So he laid on the couch, waiting for his brother to come home before he ventured out into the house.

Sam laughed at the irony; he had always strived for independence, to be free from the hunting, from the constraints of his father's regime. But now, now he was more like a child. Dependent on his brother for everything, from making sure he was eating, to helping him to the washroom. And that was the dilemma that was playing over in Sams mind.

His bladder ached from holding his urge back. Not wanting to get off the couch, to have to face the exhaustion of something so simple as going to the washroom. But the doctors orders played over in his head, he wasn't supposed to hold his urine, the chemo drugs could have damaging effects if he held his urge too long.

It was with this thought that he finally, slowly, edged his way off the couch. His legs shaky from the constant ache as he touched the floor. His mind having deciphered him into thinking that the joint pain wasn't that bad brought back to reality as he cried out in pain and fell to the floor. His right hip sore from being laid on for too long, making it hard for him to even crawl.

"Shit" he muttered as he crept forward, gasping for breath as his head swam.

He couldn't stop the whimpering that escaped as he tried to get up once more. But he just couldn't put any weight on his sore hip. Accepting defeat he continued to crawl, having to take constant breaks to gain his composure.

The younger brother couldn't have been more thankful when the bathroom door finally came within his grasp. His heart pounding as he rested against the wall, his body shaking from the strain. It was a strange feeling the young man had never felt before, his body so fatigued and weak, he shook, and he could barely see straight and his stomach tossed.

"Since when is going to the washroom so hard?" he muttered as he opened the door and crawled in.

Sam wasn't sure how he had managed it, wasn't sure how he kept himself from passing out but he did, and he was proud.

"Weird how my achievements go from honors at school to just pissing on my own." He muttered as he started to slowly work his way back, his hip finally relaxed enough to walk.

Sam could see the couch, it was within an arms reach when he heard the knock at the door, his eyes rolling, "Shit" he said turning away from the comfort of the couch, starting towards the door, the soft knock sounding again.

He approached cautiously; ever since the demon had gotten in he didn't trust anybody.

His pale fingers curled back the curtains on the window, revealing a young woman who caught his glance. He watched as her green eyes widened, not surprised to her reaction as he opened the door.

"Hi?"

The girl looked stunned standing there, mesmerized by Sam and his appearance.

"Can I help you?" he asked, hoping to break the uncomfortable stare.

The young woman continued to stare, trying hard to look somewhere else but she couldn't stop her eyes from drifting back to the pale, hairless man standing in front of her.

"Uhhh, ya, sorry, I must have the wrong place, I just thought…. Ummm, does Dean live here?" She asked hesitantly. "Just cause, I thought I saw him the other day when I was driving by, and I thought I would say hi."

Sam didn't break his look with the young woman, his suspicions starting to rise, "How do you know Dean?"

"Well we met in the hospital," She started; she could feel her face going red as she stuttered over her words. "I was there for my mother, and he was there because his brother had a nasty cold or something." She rambled, she just wanted off the front porch.

The younger brother couldn't believe what he had just heard, "A nasty cold?" he gaffed.

'No wonder the girl is terrified of me.' Sam thought as realization of the situation dawned on him, and his brother pulled up in the impala.

Sam watched as his brother's face fell as he saw the girl standing there, his lips moving, and the look of 'oh shit' clearly written across his features, as he made his way out of the car.

"Hey would you look at you two chatting it up out here." Dean said as he slowly approached the porch, Sam could see the panicked look in his older brothers eyes.

"I guess I missed the memo about the party."

"Ya Dean, guess so." Sam replied, his voice cold and emotionless as his brother approached, taking a small step beside the woman.

Sam could feel his heart racing, as his face began to heat up. The overload of the situation starting to be too much, he needed out, and quick.

"I guess you also missed the memo about my nasty cold, I'll have to send that one out again." Sam watched as Dean flinched, further cementing the fact that what the girl said was true. Dean had lied about Sam's illness.

"You know, I should probably head back inside, before my cold gets worse, or before someone else catches it." The younger brother spit out, his words leaving the foul taste of bitterness and embarrassment.

"Come on Sam…" Dean was quickly dismissed.

"It was nice meeting you, and I hope your mother gets better." The young Winchester said quietly to the young woman, knowing the situation wasn't her fault, before he turned and tried to walk as strong as he could back into the house.

"Shit" Dean muttered as he watched his brother go.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…" The girl rambled. "I should go."

Dean just nodded as he moved out of her way, focused on one thing and one thing only. He had screwed up, and he had to make things better, had to work things out. And so he pulled up his sleeves and bravely walked into the house. He could feel the strong emotions from Sam escaping the house as he opened the door. His mind flashing back to The Shining with the elevator.

"Sam?" He called cautiously moving slowly through the house, knowing where his brother had probably taken residence.

Dean saw the slight shake in Sams shoulders as he walked into the living room, his fragile body looking more and more corpse like as each day passed.

"Sam… I…"

"Save it."

"Sam." Dean could hear his voice drop an octave as he slowly switched into pleading and groveling mode.

"I get it, don't worry."

"Get what Sam? There's nothing to get, just let me explain."

"Explain what Dean? That you're ashamed of me, that you're too embarrassed to tell people what's wrong with me?"

"That's not it!"

"Than what is it Dean? What could have possibly made you tell that girl that I had a cold… is that what you tell everyone?"

The frustration in the room was building, escalating much too quick for the older brothers liking as he watched Sam stand on shaky legs and walk over to him. Their faces inches apart.

"I fucked up Sam! I don't know why I said it, it just slipped!"

The room went quiet as the two brothers just stared each other down, the pressure of the last few months escalating into this one moment. Before Dean even knew what was happening Sam had grabbed his shirt and shoved him hard. It was for that spilt second, Dean forgot that Sam was sick and pushed him back.

It wasn't a hard shove, on any normal day Sam would have caught himself and continued with the fight. But this wasn't any other normal day, Sam was trying to recover from bottoming out, Sam was weak, and Dean knew he had screwed up once again as he watched with horrified eyes as his brother stumbled back.

Dean was relieved to see Sam catch himself against the wall, the younger mans breath coming out in ragged pants as he fought to recover from the fight. Dean watched in slow motion as his brother put his head between his legs before he started to topple to the floor.

AN: I'm so sorry about this chapter, unfortunately because of time crunches I will be writing and posting with very little Betaing, UNLESS you know someone who can beta within a day, and if you are that someone PM me.

Hope you enjoyed, I'm off to bed haha.