-1Raining, Pouring
"Dean, that doesn't mean that's what I am!"
"Sammy, you gotta understand--"
"No! I don't!"
Dean can sense he's fighting the losing battle here, and begins to regret opening his mouth. Hell, he began to regret than even before he'd said anything. He thinks he'll let this one slide.
"Dean, just because some damned demon told you I was the, what did they call me? 'Boy King', doesn't mean that I am! You know that, demons lie, all that shit you and Dad have always told me."
"Yeah, well, that shit… ain't shit, is it?" Dean's defenceless against Sam's rage, and God, if you're up there, just shut him up next time he wants to say anything about this. "You know demons only lie sometimes Sam, only when it's to their advantage. And that demon knew he wasn't going anywhere, Sam…"
"You're kidding me? You've… you've resigned me to my fate? Just like this? You've given up?" Sam turns away because he can't stand to look at his brother anymore.
"I haven't given up. Not on you, Sammy--"
"Don't call me that. Just don't." He intersperses coldly.
Dean bites his tongue, and clenches his jaw because he doesn't know if there's anything left to say.
He wants to take it back, tell Sammy that, 'yeah, so what, a demon we've been hunting for our entire lives, whose blood you just might happen to have in you, told me that when I brought you back from the dead and bargained my miserable life for yours that you were in fact more like Hannibal Lector these days, and not Sam Winchester. But, you know, whatever'.
But he doesn't think that would go down well. Hell, he hardly ever thinks at all.
"Look, we can fight this." He's said it before, and he'll say it one hundred times again if he has to.
Sam spins and looks at him incredulously, "Dean, you have three weeks to live! There is no 'we', because soon, there's only gonna be a 'me'. And that 'me' is a killer, because I should have stayed dead. Hell, isn't that what you always told me; what's dead should damn well stay dead?"
Dean heaves a sigh of defeat, because he's seen it coming all along. But Sammy had needed to know, because he needed to be careful, aware. It didn't have to happen this way. "I'm sorry, Sam."
"For saving me? Gee, thanks, Dean."
"No," Dean shakes his head. "For leaving you in this mess. For bringing you back as something you are not, if what the Yellow Eyes said is true. I know it isn't but, Sammy, you gotta be careful, gotta be aware of it." Gotta not hate me, he adds silently. "Gotta fix this. Without me."
And that's it. It's the first time he's seen Sammy cry about this, but it breaks him. Shatters what's left of his soul into a million pieces for causing this, for bringing it down upon them. For causing Sammy's tears.
And when it rains, it pours.