Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or the books!
p.s. I'm so sorry if something like this has been created- this is my version of 'it.'
The Poster.
B.P.O.V.
I nearly died with anticipation listening to each moan and groan of my ancient computer each time I clicked on the link harder. I thought about smacking the thing as the little 'wait' tool bar reached 98 percent finished.
"Come on!" I yelled into the glass screen. "Gosh, damn. My Gran walked faster then this connection when she was alive." I said through gritted teeth, but felt instantly bad for making a reference to my dead Grandmother.
I was jumping in my seat when I turned on my computer twenty minutes previous to its home webpage and saw the article about it. FINALLY, the page loaded and I sighed with quick relief as the page came into view.
I read the top part of the article anticipating the bottom half- the half that would count. I read each name carefully trying to remember, but shuttered at each picture.
I reached the bottom and screamed, LOUD. Within seconds I heard Charlie run up the stairs- his feet sounding like muffled boulders falling off a cliff. I quickly turned off my computer's monitor. Just as I did, Charlie burst thought my door.
"What's wrong?!" he said all out of breath, heaving for air.
"Nothing…I just thought I saw a…a-uh… Spider! I big one, but it wasn't. It wasn't a spider." I looked away from his face as he slowly put his arms across his chest.
"A spider?" He didn't believe me, I could tell with the tone of his voice. I could only nod. I tried to keep my face even as possible.
"Well, okay," He said with a huff.
"I need to call Alice." I said pushing him aside and running down the stairs to the kitchen- to the phone. I dialed Alice's number. She answered before one ring could go through.
"Oh, my word." She said in a high pitched voice. I had to pull the receiver away from my ear.
"I know…" I shrieked.
"No….no…NO!" She started to plead.
"I know…I know!" I said again.
"What are we going to do?!" she sounded as if she were sobbing…only if. Maybe I could sob for the both of us.
"I have an idea…." I said slowly. She was quiet for a moment.
"That will work…however; I think Rose is going to be royally pissed," She said this still pleading. "And I know, I know, I can't think about it at all. I won't, I promise." She said finally starting to sound like herself again.
"Okay, I'll see you in about 45 minutes." I said then hung up the phone.
I quickly ran up the stairs and back to my computer and flicked the screen back on. I wrote the website down, grabbed my wallet and as was running halfway out the door I yelled to Charlie, "I'm going to Kinko's then to Edward's for a project with Alice!"
Kinko's
I rushed to one of the faster, legit, open computers and accessed the internet. I found what I was looking for very quickly & saved the one picture I needed to show. I printed it and went to the counter trying to act as calm as I could.
"Hello," I said slightly in a rushed tone. "I need this picture in the biggest size piece of paper that you have…"
"Sure, it will take about 15 minutes though." The gangly kid at the cash register said. "That's fine." I said in a squeak while throwing thirty dollars at him. "I hope that's enough." I said in the same squeaky rushed voice trying to rush the process of the picture to be printed so I could get to Edward's house. "Yeah, that's fine." He said bored and giving me my change back.
This was one the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I paced, I hummed, I counted to five hundred, and I even recited a few lines of Romeo and Juliet. "Your posters ready ma'am." The boy said giving it to me rolled up nicely. "Thanks." I practically yelled and ran out of the store.
I pushed my old truck as fast as it would go to the Cullen's house. I was really roaring by the time I got there. Before I could even get un-buckled Edward had my door open with a terrified look on his face. "What's wrong?" he demanded. "Alice didn't think or tell me anything…."
"Edward, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just call a family meeting okay? . . . Where's Alice anyways?" I said jumping out of my truck and running to the house. Edward beat me there by three seconds, his expression still confused.
"Call the family…There's something I need to tell the family." I said rushing him and moving passed him into the house. Everyone was already there, sitting on the couches waiting for me. Edward walked in staring at me. I could tell that this was one of the times he would love to know what I was thinking. Suddenly his eyes flashed to Alice, he glared.
"ALICE! You thought about it?!" I yelled at her.
"NO! I would never! I'm thinking of A B C's!" She squeaked at me. "Hurry and say it before I do think of it!"
"Okay, okay, okay…" I ran up half the stairs, this should be enough space to unravel the poster. I began my story: "Okay, so I was going to email my mom, but when I saw my homepages article I flipped out when I saw this." The words were rushed, but then I let my fingers grab the top of the poster and it rolled gently down, letting the big picture be seen to Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet, and Edward's eyes.
Alice screamed a shrill scream when she saw the picture, and began freaking out against Jasper. "It's so hideous! My hair is so NOT that way! And look at the cloths! I would NEVER, I MEAN NEVER wear something like that!" She yelled in a high pitched tone that it nearly hurt my ears.
Edward gasped. I figured that he was reading Alice's mind and understood what was going on. "Me? You? Them?" He pointed to his family. Then back at the poster. "Stephenie Meyer, movie?! Whaaaa?!" He couldn't stop stammering. I've only seen Edward have a loss for words about once or twice, so I knew it was bad when I looked up to see his expression. His face was lost in the poster starring at 'himself' with his hand pointing at it. I just nodded looking into the eyes of the Cullen's.
As the realization started to settle in, the horror in their eyes took over their expressions. Suddenly Esme gasped and said "Oh my, my, my word." And covered her mouth with her hands. Carlisle put on arm around her. He stood them both up and said, "I don't look that old, do I?" I shook my head feverishly.
Rosalie's mouth made a small 'O.' She stood up and stood next to Edward and looked at the huge poster. "My hair is not that color of blonde, it's longer, plus you can see my roots!" She sounded disgusted "and I believe that I am four inches taller!" by the end of her little rant she stomped her foot and growled, which made goose bumps on my arms.
Jasper sighed. "I'm not even going to use my senses to clam everyone. You all deserve to me mad. Look at my hair…it's a-a . . . mop?" he shook his head slowly looking down and putting his arm comforting Alice. He crossed his legs and looked out the window pondering.
Emmett still looked confused until he got a smirk on his face. "Hey, Edward…" Edward's eyes got hard and he glared before he even turned around to face his big brother. "No, it's not." He growled and turned back around to stare at the poster again. Emmett's smile got even bigger. "Hey, Alice? Who's the guy playing Edward?" He was trying to stop himself from laughing.
Alice looked up. "Robert Pattinson, yeah the guy that plays in Harry Potter." She sniffed and when back to pouting in Jaspers arms. Edward growled again. I looked over the bannister of the stairs and looked at the poster…I almost started laughing until I looked at Edward and he was glaring. It stopped me.
Everyone was silent for a good mintue until Emmett couldn't hold it in anylonger: The whole house shook with his laughter. "HAHAHAHA! Harry Potter boy!" He started to run out of air that he didn't need. "WOOO! That's a good one." He kept saying over and over between his hysteria of laughing. He eventually got up to his feet and started to walk away into the kitchen. He was still laughing. "WOO! Cedric Diggiry! HAHA!" he sounded like he was going to hypervenilate.
I felt bad for Edward and looked down to roll up the poster. Suddenly everyones eyes shot up towards the loud smacking sound coming from the kitchen fallowed by Emmett's "Owww! Hey, that hurt! Don't worry Harry Po- I mean Edward, we'll get front row seats for the premire, so you can watch yourself!"
Everyone started into a fit of giggles.
Well, There you have it. I thought it would be funny if the Cullen's knew a movie was going to be made about themselves.
Enjoy!