AN: Sorry for the reallllllllllly long wait. I have no excuses (except for the fact I was doing coursework) but I still managed to update other stories so I truly am sorry for neglecting this one and it's fans. Enjoy this and I'll get back to updating regularly! ;D

FOUR MONTHS EARLIER

Ianto groaned and opened his eyes. Everything was blurry and it took a few seconds for things to swim back into focus. When they did, he found he was alone. Ok, so Owen was in the room checking stat monitors and things, but there was no Jack.

No Jack anywhere. No vigilant lover by his bedside. Maybe this was payback for the fact that Jack had woken up with only Gwen by his side?

"Owen," Ianto croaked.

The medic turned round and smiled.

"Hello," he said softly. "You're looking better."

"Where's Jack?" He asked.

"Let's worry about getting you back to full health before you go off gallivanting with any dashing Americans," Owen said, looking back at his monitors.

Ianto knew instantly that Owen was trying to dodge the subject. Something was wrong and he was being kept in the dark. The worst part was, he knew exactly what about.

"He's gone isn't he?" Ianto pulled himself into a sitting position.

Owen didn't turn round immediately, but when he did Ianto saw the look of confirmation on his friends face.

"Yeah," he nodded. "About ten minutes after you collapsed."

Ianto sighed and leant back in the bed, watching Owen fuss over him. He'd noticed a change in the doctor when they'd bought Jack's body back to the Hub. Every one was upset, but Owen was verging on the same amount of grief as Ianto himself. Maybe…

"You can start eating solids again now, but you'll have to start small," Owen broke through Ianto's train of thought. "No more starving yourself, understood?"

"I won't," Ianto replied. "No one to starve myself over anymore."

Owen placed a cup of water down on Ianto's bedside table.

"You've still got us," he said. "Ok, so we're not the same… but we're something."

Ianto smiled wryly.

"Better than family," he agreed. "Thanks Owen."

After an hour or so of Gwen and Tosh fussing round him as well, Owen allowed Ianto to head home on the promise that he would go straight to bed. Owen was so determined to make sure Ianto rested and ate properly that he insisted on staying with the Welshman for a few days, to which Ianto didn't protest. He could use the company anyway and he had the feeling Owen felt more for him than he was letting on. It would do them both good to stay together.

Once home though Ianto suddenly realised that it just wasn't the same anymore. The reason he was so immaculate (though he'd never admitted it before) was because he wanted the place tidy should Jack ever come back with him. The only reason he took all the shit at work, all the endless cleaning, being ignored constantly as though he were nothing more than a servant; it was only seeing Jack that made it worthwhile.

"Hey, Owen," Ianto asked as he flicked on the lights in his flat.

"Mm?" Owen mumbled, heading towards the kitchen to make Ianto something to eat.

"How long do you think it'll take me to recover?" Ianto kept his voice level. There was no need to arouse suspicion to the already forming plan in his mind.

"Uhh… probably a few weeks," Owen called back as he opened cupboards. "Why?"

"Just wondered how quickly I'll be able to get back to work," Ianto joked.

Though Ianto insisted he was perfectly capable of making himself dinner, Owen made it for him and a plate full for himself. The pair spent the rest of the evening happily parked in front of the T.V., feet perched on the coffee table (even though it was something Ianto would usually grind his teeth at).

From then on, Ianto got better, but not because he was trying. Owen was determined to look after him so Ianto let him. He ate all the meals provided and slowly gained back the weight he'd lost from starving himself. But nothing really mattered. He didn't enjoy life anymore. Not when he was living in hope. Hoping, as each day passed, that maybe, just maybe, Jack would be back tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow never came and Ianto doubted whether Jack would ever return. He obviously didn't mean enough to their leader.

So he didn't change the plan that he'd thought up when he'd first come back to his flat. He stuck to it rigidly making sure everything was in order for when the day came. And come it did.

Just over three weeks after Jack's disappearance Ianto went ahead with his plan. He went into work with Owen as usual and set about making the team coffee. Of course, what he neglected to tell them, was that he had put RetCon in all of them.

He filed his own death certificate and then delivered the coffee, making up some excuse about needing to go out and fetch some more milk. Then he left. Just like that he walked out.

Once outside on the Plass Ianto glanced back at the Hub one final time. Sighing he turned away and wandered home, picking up a paper on the way so he could look through the jobs columns.

Ianto settled into 'normal' life quite quickly and things seemed on the up. He would have the occasional day when he would miss the team and Jack, but not having to go to the Hub made it easier to move on. He hadn't taken a RetCon pill himself. He wanted to remember what he'd once had.

There was only one flaw to his plan. If Jack did return, he'd work out exactly what Ianto had done and come looking for him. But several months had passed since his plan was executed and Ianto began to doubt more and more whether Jack would ever return. Or maybe he had and decided that Ianto wasn't worth the hassle of finding?

Still he had new friends now, a new job, maybe even a new partner. He'd certainly been eyed up by several of his colleagues, though he hadn't noticed until someone pointed it out. They were all slightly more subtle than Jack.

He had moved flat as well, just on the off chance that Owen accidentally found his way back there. After all, love was a powerful emotion and if he was day dreaming as he walked…

It was a completely fresh start for Ianto. And a nice one too. At least he knew he wouldn't be hurt again. Not by the usual suspects anyway.

Of course he always knew it was too good to be true. He came home one day from shopping one day and was just about to start unpacking when he heard a knock at the door. There was nothing unusual about the knock but it made his blood run cold. The neighbours popped by from time to time to borrow things, but somehow he knew it wasn't them. He knew exactly who it was even before he headed down the hallway to open the door.

"Hello Jack."