Present Time

"Did you here? Cho Chang broke up with Harry Potter!"

"No! How did it happen?"

"No one knows. It's been kept under wraps. I bet it was bad though."

"Oh, it was quite horrible actually. Harry told me."

Parvati and Lavender spun around to face none other then Luna Lovegood. How could she know what happened on that cold Valentine's Day? She was the weirdest girl in school.

Parvati snorted. "How could you know Luna? You have no friends. Why would Harry tell you?"

"Harry confides in me with his deepest secrets. Did you know that his godfather is none other then Sirius Black?"

Parvati kind of did one of those cough laughs because who would believe that kind of thing? "Get real Luna. That is the dumbest story I've ever heard."

Lavender soon had a burst of intuition. She pulled Parvati to the side and whispered into her ear. "We should hear what she has to say. It will be a good laugh when we get back to the common room."

Parvati nodded enthusiastically and they both turned back to Luna, who seemed to be staring into space, humming 'Yellow Submarine.'

"I'm sorry, Luna," Lavender said kindly to Luna. "Parvati is PMSing. You know how it is. I would be happy to hear what Harry had to say."

Luna stopped humming and looked back at Lavender as if she was addressing her for the first time. She smiled in an 'out there' sort of way. "All right. I'm sure Harry is good friends with you. It all started on that cold Valentine's Day inside Madame Puddlefoot's Tea Shop…"

Valentine's Day…

Cho looked like she was ready to kill Harry. He didn't really want to be near her when she blew, so he slowly backed toward the door.

"DON'T YOU MOVE HARRY POTTER! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU! IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO REALLY REALIZE MY TRUE FEELINGS! Hit it boys."

Cho then started singing. She had her back-up dancers/hot Ravenclaw beaus block off the exit as she rounded on Harry.

Here's the thing we started off friends

It was cool but it was all pretend

Yeah yeah

Since u been gone

Harry did the shifty-eyes thing and started backing up. Cho was strutting closer to him.

You're dedicated you took the time

Wasn't long till I called you mine

Yeah yeah

Since u been gone

Harry was confused. He had barely talked to Cho before this. And what was all this about him being hers?

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

Harry had the distinct feeling she wasn't singing about him anymore. All she ever talked about has Cedric. Cedric this and Cedric that. Jeez, it was really annoying after a while.

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since U Been Gone

Wait, was she breaking up with him? Yes! She was such a psycho anyway. She was dancing now with her love slaves. Harry started dancing a little too. Why not celebrate something when you know it's what you want?

How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah
Since U Been Gone

Harry blushed. She remembered when he sang 'Candy Shop' to her on their first date. It's hard to believe that was only 10 minutes ago.

How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

Anger bubbled up in Cho. She pulled out her wand and starting throw curses at Harry. He had to start dancing even more to get out of the way. She gets to into her music, he thought as she started to laugh and sing and the same time.

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get (I get) what I want
Since U Been Gone

She was laughing so hard now that she had to use all her concentrating to just keep singing, so Harry had an opportunity to sneak out. So close! Just a little bit further!

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

No! Her love slaves grabbed Harry from behind and pulled him toward Cho. He tried to claw his way out of there, but those Ravenclaw boys were pretty big. He was now in front of Cho, who was so angry she was literally spitting into Harry's face. He had to think of a way to get out of this, fast.

Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get, I get what I want
Since U Been Gone
Since U Been Gone
Since U Been Gone

Of course, Cho had to drag out the ending of the song dramatically. In the 5 minutes it took her to sing a 15 sec. part, Harry had come up with a plan. It was unorthodox, but it was his only shot. As Cho's voice finally shut up, Harry pulled her towards him and laid a big wet one on her lips. She hadn't been expecting this and she just stood there in a daze as Harry pulled away and ran for the door. Cho's love slaves couldn't stop Harry, because at that same time, a large flock of Crumple-horned Snorkacks flew into the tea shop and began attacking the Ravenclaw boys. Harry escaped and lived in debt of the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, who returned to Sweden to tend there gardens.

Back to the Present…

Parvati and Lavender just stared at Luna, who, after finishing her exciting tale, went back to whistling. There was a really long pause.

Luna stopped whistling and turned to the two girls. "Well, if you don't want to talk to me anymore, I will leave. I have very important things I have to do. Good-bye, and watch out for nargals. They always get you when you're not looking." She then walked away, occasionally turning and looking around suspiciously for nargals.

Lavender and Parvati just stood there for a while. They knew that was pure baloney, but it still was one of those stories you don't want to talk about because it was just that weird.

Lavender turned to Parvati finally. "Let's not tell anyone about that, okay?"

"You got it. That was such a complete waste of time."

Yes, it was a complete waste of time. And you wasted your time reading that, because it wasn't funny at all. Don't lie. You can review and tell me how horrible it was actually. I'm just depressed that I am experiencing writer's block for my other story, Breaking All the Rules, which I like a lot better sadly.

My life is such a sob story.

Murray