Disclaimer: Ha Ha! I've been lying to you all this whole time! I DO own Harry Potter! Didn't see that one coming, huh? Suddenly, hundreds of stones from my readers fall from the sky and stone me to death because I'm a lying monster.

If you guys just can't get enough of these crazy song-fics, I have written another story called Attack of the Song-Fics: Volume II. It's to Twilight. I only have two chapters up, but this one is still dearest to my heart.

Ginny was soooooo happy! Nothing could make her sad, nothing! You don't think she was happy? Well, I hope you lock your doors at night, because she's gonna come to your house with a cactus and a crocket mallet. Then she'll tie you to a chair and make you know the meaning of pain and suffering!! But I know that you all know she is happy, so I'll get on with the story.

It was her first year at Hogwarts and she already had a best friend! It wasn't that meanie, yet hottie, Harry Potter, or her brothers, or that brainiac, Hermione Granger. No, it was a diary!!!

Fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends

The diary was magical too! The diary called himself 'Tom Marvolo Riddle', which is a funny name if you ask me. Anyway, whenever she wrote in the diary, it wrote back to her! He listened to everything Ginny had to say and gave good advice too.

Once, the diary told Ginny that if she started hissing randomly at a faucet in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, she would get a mountain of chocolate frogs. The next thing you know, there was a mountain of chocolate frogs at the edge of her bed one morning, AND Mrs. Norris was petrified and hanging off a wall too. But Ginny couldn't understand why she was covered in blood though. Oh well, she probably had a nosebleed in the middle of the night or something.

Walk with me, Suzy Lee
through the park and by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

The only thing that was strange was that the diary told her that she couldn't have anymore friends and that she couldn't' tell anyone about him either. She had to give in though, because the diary was a pretty smart guy.

There were a few nights that she couldn't remember anything, but short-term memory loss did run in the family. Curse you Uncle Jonathan and your crazy genetics!! She also was covered in blood all the time too. It really hard to clean too! Thank god for house elves.

Tom asked me to the hiss thing a lot, and every time I did it, I would get more Chocolate Frogs and someone would get petrified. Weird huh?

A few months past, and Ginny was starting to get frightened. Tom was beginning to teach her stuff, as a tutor, but it just didn't seem right. Yesterday, he taught her the principles of Muggle torture. And today, he gave a lecture on how to participate in Muggle warfare in secretive manner. He even made her read the book, Lord Grindelwald: the Man with the Plan, and write a report on how to take his ideas and put them into a modern setting. I mean, sure, it was cool and interesting, but she had other things to do, like get a social life.

Well here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now its time to learn

Ginny just couldn't handle the work load. So, she went to Myrtle's bathroom and punted the diary into one of the toilets.

"TOUCHDOWN!" She yelled triumphantly as she skipped out of the bathroom, but Tom knew of her deception, and he wasn't happy.

His specter came out of the diary, shaking a fist, and swore, "Ginny Weasley! You can run, but you can't hide!"

Ginny did run and hide. In fact, right after she skipped out of the bathroom, she ran into her dorm and hid under her bed, shaking and crying. She was having withdrawal symptoms from being away from Tom. She even had to admit, she had a little crush on him, even though he was a complete psychopath.

For the next week, Ginny had horrible side-effects, like crying blood, her hair oddly changing color to a jet black color, and her fingernails growing like beanstalks. She sort of looked like a possessed person, but she wasn't. Everyone in the school learned to stay away or ignore the 'Exorcist Chick'.

Numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height
against the wall

Near the end of the horrible week, Ginny couldn't take it anymore! She had to get the diary back! And she knew exactly where it was. It was in the cutie, Harry Potter's, stuff. And so she did, and she also managed to completely destroy Harry's room in the process.

When she got back from Harry's dorm with the diary, she quickly started apologizing to Tom, say how foolish she was and how she would do anything she asked her to do. He cured her of the side-effects, and told her his evil plan that his was going to use her in. She was horrified, but what could she do? She was his slave. Oh, the horror.

It finally was time for the very evil and sick plan. Ginny planned her capture and went down into the Chamber of Secrets. The diary was floating in the air, waiting for her. Tom laughed and called her forward. He also called forth a big snake. Ginny had a bad feeling about the evil and sick plan, but it was too late to turn back now.

After Tom did some fancy page turning with a wand taped to it, Ginny and the big snake started floating in the air. They started spinning around faster and faster until it happened! Ginny and the big snake switched bodies! OH NO!! Ginny didn't want to be a snake!

And we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

She slithered away into a big cave and crying. She didn't know how long she cried there, but she heard Tom call for her, so she came out. When her eyes adjusted to the light, which wasn't much, she saw Harry, Tom, and the Snake-Ginny, standing around in the Chamber. Well, at least Harry and Tom were. The Snake-Ginny was lying on the ground.

Ginny hissed happily when she saw Harry and started slithering towards him to give him a big snake hug, but Harry started running away. Why would he do that? Doesn't he recognize her? She slithered faster to catch up to him. He tripped and she was about to hug him, when a big bird came out of nowhere and started tearing her eyes out!

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Ginny screamed. She was blind! Who brings birds into a castle anyway, let alone birds that tear your eyes out! She sniffled, but then realized that she could hear Harry! She started following his footsteps, but got lost really quickly. After a while, she got sick of wandering around in the sewers blind, so she headed back to the Chamber.

When she got there, she could hear Harry! She slithered towards him happily, when she realized he was on top of a cliff. She couldn't hug him when his was so high up! So, she settled on kissing him. He probably would enjoy that.

So, she leaned in. She was about to kiss that cutie-pie, when he stabbed her with a sword. She writhed on the ground and screamed, "Nobody loves me!" And then she died in a dramatic pose, if that's even possible for a snake.

Tonight I'll dream while in my bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
cause I can tell that we're going to be friends

Well, you all know what happened next. Harry killed Tom and saved Ginny, which was actually Snake-Ginny. Years past and Snake-Ginny made small appearances in the books. As you probably noticed, Ginny was completely different then Snake-Ginny. Ginny was a wimp, where as Snake-Ginny actually had a backbone. By the end of the series, Harry and Snake-Ginny fell in love, married, and had children. It was only later that Harry married and had children with a snake thing when their children transformed into snake-people when they turned 17.

And so, Harry Potter's life was turned upside-down when he found out he married a snake. No wonder all she did was hiss all the time.

Wow. I really have a sick and twisted mind. How can anybody even remotely sane write something like this? We may never know.

Fall is in the air! I don't like it. My house is so drafty that it is always freezing in there everyday of the fall and winter. Why does the computer have to be by a whole bunch of windows, why?!

Murray