Painfully Perfect
Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.
Author's Note: Whoa, whoa, wait. This is the last chapter? NO! You guys all had me going crazy. Did I say it was the last chapter? I don't think I did...it may have come off like this was going to be the last chapter, but no no no no no. Not yet, but in a few chapters, sadly, it will be. Anyways, your reviews were lovely and I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. Aw, yes..Ryan's rant was sad. Hm, anyways, enjoy this and review :)
Michael and Alyson Evans sat at a small table in the hospital cafeteria, occasionally sipping from their Styrofoam cups of lukewarm, bitter coffee. Small swirls of steam rose from the cups before disappearing almost instantly. The words the doctor had spoken minutes before filled their minds.
"Sharpay has been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa," Alyson spoke in a faint whisper, not daring to speak any louder. "Our daughter is anorexic?"
Michael looked at his wife, his face looking tired. "Our daughter is anorexic," he repeated slowly before taking a swig to finish off his coffee. "Let's go see her, okay?" He stood slowly, threw his cup away and shoved his hands deep into his dark blue jean pockets. His wife stood and linked arms with him and slowly together they walked up the two flights of stairs to get to Sharpay's room.
Minutes later, Michael knocked on the door three times, all of Sharpay's friends sitting in the hall behind him. The door flew open revealing Ryan. His cheeks were wet and blotchy and his eyes looked tired. He pulled a finger up to his mouth, silently informing his parents to be quiet. They entered the room and Ryan exited, receiving hugs, smiles and questions.
"Sharpay?" Alyson asked, her daughter slowly waking. Her face was gaunt--both eyes and cheeks sunken in, making her look ghostly. Her once glowing skin was now dry and pale, her hair limp and thin. But Sharpay's mother noticed her daughter's eyes. They were once a soft brown, dancing with happiness, dreams and joy for life. Now they were dull, no gleam shone in her eyes, only pain, fear and depression filled them.
Mr. and Mrs. Evans both gripped one of Shapray's cold bony hands in their own and stared at their daughter. Sharpay braced herself, waiting for the lecture, the disappointment she had brought them, 'Stupid, silly Sharpay, never good enough.' But it never came. What did were tears, questions and answers.
"Why Sharie?" Alyson cried out her heartache.
"Mommy," Sharpay's scratchy voice sounded. "I don't--I can't talk about that right now." Sharpay thought it was best if only Ryan knew for now. It was quiet for a moment before Sharpay added, "When can I go home?"
"You can't right now, sweetie. You've been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa," Michael spoke steadily.
The word hit Sharpay like a ton of bricks, knocking the breath out of her. Her chest tightened painfully as she tried to calm down while tears sprang out of her eyes. She couldn't be anorexic. She told herself that over and over, a million times. She had always thought she could stop and she'd never have to be classified under 'eating disorder,' but now she was. Sharpay had another question. "Why does my throat hurt so much?"
"Baby, you tore your esophagus. You had surgery immediately when you arrived. You've damaged your vocal chords," Alyson informed her daughter.
"Am I going to be able to sing again?" Sharpay blurted out alarmingly.
"Not right away, but eventually."
Tears of shame dropped down Sharpay's face as a nurse entered the room. "I"m sorry, but it's almost 6:30. Visiting hours will be over soon and Sharpay and I need to run some tests."
The Evans parents nodded and kissed their daughter goodbye, promising to come back tomorrow.
Once they were in the hall, the nurse informed them that a psychologist would be meeting with Sharpay tonight and then she retreated down the hallway.
"We've got to get going," Michael spoke to the teenagers.
"Mr. Evans? Would you mind if we spent the night," Gabriella motioned to the group, "and came back tomorrow with you?"
Alyson and Michael shared a glance before Michael nodded. "You girls can use Sharpay's room or the guest room and the guys can camp out with Ryan in his room. Or whatever works, I guess," he spoke quietly.
"Thank you," everybody spoke honestly. They slowly left the hospital, Sharpay on everybody's mind.
--
Sharpay's body shook, only her thin loose hospital gown covering her body as she entered one of the small nurse's offices with one of her nurses, Anna.
"Okay, Sharpay. Can you step on the scale backwards for me?" Sharpay's feet rested lightly on the cool metal as she waited impatiently for Anna to take her weight. "Okay, let's take your blood pressure," Anna said after writing 81.7 down in Sharpay's file.
"105 over 70. Low. Let me check your pulse," she spoke kindly, placing the stethoscope on Sharpay's chest. "Hmm, okay." She jotted a few notes and numbers into Sharpay's file before drawing a vile of blood from Sharpay's bony arm. She sent the blood off to the lab and sat with Sharpay until the results would come. Sharpay mentally noticed that she didn't feel hungry and her palms grew sweaty.
"So, how are you feeling?" Anna asked curiously, trying to make small talk.
"Great," Sharpay replied, the sarcasm evident in her voice as she rolled her eyes quickly.
"It's been a long day," the young nurse pointed out sympathetically.
"You think?" The small girl snapped.
"I knew someone in your position once, Sharpay. My brother."
Sharpay was slightly interested, but wouldn't show it. Soon, the results from Sharpay's blood test came back, all the numbers lower than they should have been. "We're done here." Anna stood, putting her arm out to help support Sharpay, who was having trouble walking on her own. Sharpay reluctantly grabbed Anna's arm and together they slowly shuffled down the hall and back to Sharpay's room.
Amber hooked Sharpay back up to the IV after helping her into bed. "Dr. Mischa will be in soon. She's a psychologist and she's going to evaluate you." As Anna turned to leave, Sharpay asked, "What happened to your brother?"
Anna smiled sweetly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sharpay."
Sharpay sighed in annoyance. She waited for the psychologist, but let her mind wander. She wished her stomach would ache hungrily so at least she'd feel better. She was sick of this IV pumping nutrients into her body that would make her fat. Suddenly, the door shut and Sharpay was pulled out of her thoughts. A woman in her mid-20's sat down in a chair next to Sharpay's bed. Her dark gold hair was pulled neatly into a side pony-tail and she looked stunning, even though she wore barely any make-up.
"Good evening, Sharpay. I'm Mischa," she stated, flashing her perfectly even, pearly white teeth. "Basically, I'm just going to answer some questions and you can answer with whatever you think. Be as honest as you can, please. So, how are you feeling today?"
Sharpay kept her mouth shut, but Mischa still wrote something down in her notebook. "Are you tired? Depressed? Angry?"
Again, Sharpay kept her mouth shut, not even wanting to begin to deal with this. But yet again, Mischa scribbled something down in her notebook. "What are you writing? I'm not even saying anything?"
Mischa smiled warmly. "Are you ready to talk Sharpay?"
"There is nothing to talk about. I'm not anorexic so you're wasting your time," Sharpay spoke plainly, her arms crossed across her chest. Mischa wrote for a minute before looking back up.
"Sharpay, why do you think you are here?"
"Because...I got caught," Sharpay looked down shamefully.
"Caught doing what?" Mischa asked, keeping her eyes on Sharpay, but her hand moved gently across the paper.
"I was making myself throw-up, okay?" Sharpay blew up, her face extremely red with anger.
"Sharpay, I'm here to help you, you know."
"No you aren't. You're here to take everything I say and use it against me. You don't care how I feel or why I did 'this'. You couldn't care less. You just want to get this over with so you can go home to your family and not have to deal with sick girls like me!"
Mischa frowned slightly and wrote in her notebook for a few minutes. "Sharpay, why don't you tell me how you feel?"
Sharpay thought for a moment before speaking in a steady voice, "I'm angry. I'm depressed. I'm not hungry and I hate it. I feel fat and ugly and I just want to go home." Mischa nodded understandingly and kept talking while writing in her small little black notebook.
"Why do you feel like you are fat and ugly?"
Sharpay was getting annoyed with this lady. All she cared about was how Sharpay felt and right now Sharpay really didn't feel like sharing her feelings. "I need to be perfect and it's as simple as that. That's what I'm expected to be. And that's what I'm going to be. I have nothing left to say." Sharpay turned her back and laid down, her eyes wide open.
Mischa wrote in her notebook for a few more minutes and then sat and watched Sharpay. Once she was sure she wouldn't talk anymore, she left the room, thanking Sharpay for her time. And then slowly, Sharpay drifted off to sleep.
--
Ryan had barely talked since talking with Sharpay earlier that day. It was hard for him to fall asleep as he lay in the living room in a sleeping bag, with all of his friends sleeping around him in their respective sleeping bags. He couldn't believe that Sharpay was anorexic. At first he was shocked and sad, but now he was depressed and angry, the emotions switching off inside of him. Slowly, he pulled himself out of his sleeping bag and slowly walked to the small kitchen across from the living room.
He sat down at the glass kitchen table after preparing himself a cup of boiling hot tea. His hands were wrapped tightly around the piping mug as steam rose above in quick wisps. He pulled it up to his mouth and took a small sip before setting it on the table with a soft thud.
"Hey man," Troy's voice whispered in the dark, startling Ryan. Troy sat down in the chair at the head of the table, Ryan to his left, and sighed. "Can't sleep?"
Ryan nodded and took another sip of tea. "Yeah, me neither. It was a long day." Again, Ryan just simply nodded and took another small sip of his warm beverage. "You've been so quiet, Ryan. I couldn't manage not talking about it." Troy stood up and poured some of the hot water Ryan had boiled minutes before into a mug, plopped a tea bag into it and then sat back down at the table. The two teenage boys sat in silent for a few minutes before Ryan's small voice punctured it. "I can't talk about it."
Troy was startled, but welcomed the small talk. "Why?"
Ryan stared at Troy directly in the eyes, his piercing gaze making Troy nervous. "Sharpay, Troy, my sister is anorexic. And it's partially my fault."
"What? No, Ryan. It's not. It's nobody's fault," Troy reassured the blond boy.
Ryan glanced away from Troy, his eyes starting to glaze. "When Gabriella told us, she knew something was wrong. And I didn't believe her. I could've helped Sharpay. She could be here with me right now. But she isn't, is she? Do you see her here? No! She's lying in some hospital all by herself because she wasn't eating! I could have told my parents and she would've gotten better! It's my fault!" Ryan's whispering voice was shaking angrily and tears were dripping down his face. Troy was shocked, having never seen Ryan actually cry.
"Ryan, it's okay. I promise, it is not your fault," Troy whispered, patting his friend's back.
Ryan looked at Troy, wiping a hand across his face to get rid of the tears. "I'm sorry. I just...I feel like I should have done something. It's Sharpay. She's been my best friend my entire life. We told each other everything. I just wish she could have talked to me instead of doing this."
Troy sighed. "I know, Ryan. We all do."
--
The next morning, Alyson and Michael left the house early, leaving a note for the kids saying they'd be back to pick them up around noon. Sharpay's parents entered the hospital and asked the receptionist where Sharpay's room was.
"Oh, she was moved into the eating disorder wing just this morning. It'll be room A342." Michael nodded and the couple quickly made their way to Sharpay's room.
When they finally reached it, they say a girl in her young twenties standing outside Sharpay's door. "Good morning. You two must be Sharpay's parents?"
"Yes," Alyson answered skeptically.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Mischa. I'm a psychiatrist and I was asked to evaluate Sharpay."
"Oh, yeah. One of the nurses told us about that. Okay, so..?" Michael said.
"Well, I think that for Sharpay's sake, she should go to rehab."
"Rehab?" Alyson questioned.
"Like a facility that specializes in the treatment of eating disorders. There is one just outside of town, about an hour away in Santa Fe. I would recommend that and probably family therapy, along with the group and individual therapy she'll get at treatment," Mischa spoke plainly.
"You want her to go away? For how long?" Alyson's voice quivered.
"Treatment can take as little as six weeks. It all depends on the patient. But you would be able to visit and Sharpay can call. I believe that it's the best thing to do for Sharpay right now."
Alyson stared up at her husband and they shared a look of understanding. All they wanted was for Sharpay to be healthy again, so they would take this sacrifice for their daughter's sake. "Okay, we're in."
"Great. There's a spot open right now and I can call to book it for Sharpay if you'd like. She'll have to be out there by the end of next week if that works."
"Yeah, that's fine."
"Wonderful. I'll make the call right now and I can give you some more information when I get back. You are welcome to talk to Sharpay while you're waiting." Mischa took off down the hallway to call the facility. Michael and Alyson entered Sharpay's bedroom, seeing her laying on her bed wide awake.
"Hey sweetie. How are you feeling today?" Alyson asked after planting a kiss on Sharpay's forehead.
"I'm fine. What was that doctor talking to you about?" Sharpay asked, annoyance evident in her voice.
Michael cleared his throat and looked at his daughter. "You're going to treatment. At the end of the week we're driving you to Santa Fe."
"What? No! You can't!" Sharpay cried angrily. "I'm fine. I'm going to be just fine. Don't send me there! Mommy! Tell him not to, please."
Alyson just blinked away her tears and shook her head at Sharpay. "I can't, Sharpay. You need to do this."
"No. You can't! I hate you," Sharpay whispered. And from that moment, Sharpay just let the tears fall and didn't speak a single word.
Author's Note: Hm, okay weird ending. I know. But I just couldn't figure out how to end it. Anyways, I hope you liked this. This was kind of just filler-ish. I think there is only going to be one or two chapters left and then I think I'm going to write a sequel. I already have ideas in mind and a couple of OCs but I think you guys will like them! Hm, I hoped you enjoyed this. Leave a review with your thoughts!