Before I start, let me apologize for having major writer's block and being just plain lazy. This next chapter, I hope will be longer than most, and if you are anywhere near as perverted as Glen Quagmire from Family Guy, will have the lemons you have been waiting for… sort of.

--

"Ino, that's not fair! You can't get a head start on me when we arm wrestle, that's cheating!"

"Shikamaru, you just need to be ready, you lazy bum."

"Shut up, Ino," Shikamaru snapped. "Just eat your ramen. It just got here."

"How come I get ramen and you get a three course meal?" Ino demanded.

"You didn't ask for a three course meal! I wasn't going to stop you! Besides, I haven't eaten in four days!" Shikamaru was scarfing down an extra-large steak in an almost Choji-like way. He was obviously REALLY… REALLY hungry.

Ino turned around at the sound of footsteps to see Sasuke and Naruto walking toward the ramen shop.

"Well look who it is. It's the forbidden shipping," sassed Ino. "Naruto and Sasuke, together at last!"

"Shut the hell up, Ino, we were just walking when we randomly met and wanted to go get some ramen. It's a complete coincidence, okay?" Sasuke was obviously hiding something. He had been silent and blushing while Naruto tried to weasel out of this awkward situation.

Shikamaru started on his second course, complete with a complimentary bottle of ridiculously strong wine.

-A few drinks later…-

Sasuke and Naruto stayed to chat, but Shikamaru and Ino were still at the bar because Shikamaru ordered dessert. Again, this was done in an almost Choji-like fashion. Sasuke and Naruto started arguing, making no attempt to keep it private. Ino and Shikamaru couldn't help but listen in.

"Wow, Naruto," Sasuke whispered romantically. "You make for a great kisser. Almost as good as Gaara."

"Thank you, Sa- Wait, Gaara? Are you seeing other people?"

"What, is that a problem, Naruto?" Sasuke was confused.

"Yeah, Sasuke, I like to be individually seen! I don't want you running off with other people and doing who-knows-what!"

"Naruto, you have no right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to!"

"No Sasuke, I don't, but I can tell you that you certainly can't have long-term relationships while with me!"

Shikamaru and Ino were shocked, staring into the open, wide-eyed and unfocused. Sasuke finally took notice.

"Maybe we should finish this discussion in private, because some people may be listening in!" Sasuke and Naruto stormed into the back alley behind the ramen stand. Ino kind of knew where this was headed. Shikamaru and Ino could still listen, so they stayed at the bar.

"Spaz," Shikamaru mumbled out of the corner of his mouth to Ino. She nodded, and cued that they should listen.

"…Don't think it's too much to ask to be your boyfriend and no one else."

"Well then, I guess you don't want to be with this…"

"Oh my god, Sasuke, what a nice body! And the shaft… Amazingly real!"

"Have you changed your mind, Naruto?"

"In your deluded, crazy dreams, Sasuke-Chan. Come and get it."

"I told you to never call me that, you dirty…"

"Ohh! OOOOHHH! AAAAH! OOOAAAAHHH! OHH, that feels so… AAAAGHHH!"

Shikamaru's hand went involuntarily went for the steak knife on the table and he brought it to his neck. Ino fainted.

"OHH, Naruto, you crazy bastard, you make it so… OOOOOH, AAAAAH!!! AAAHHGGG!"

Something in Shikamaru's head told him that he just listened to… Uhhg. God, that was gross.

This moaning and insults continued for some time. When it stopped, Naruto and Sasuke were apparently going to come back to the ramen bar.

"Naruto, you are very persuasive," Sasuke caressed.

"Sasuke, you made it so easy and comfortable. Let's go at it again sometime, huh?"

Shikamaru woke up Ino. She was dazed, and Shikamaru put on a panicked expression.

"INO! RUN!"

She and Shikamaru darted all the way back to the house, where Shikamaru commented, "Let's never eat at the ramen place again. Agreed?"

"No doubt," Ino stammered, catching her breath. "Never again."