Just one person, this time. It's the last one. I promise it.

Rock Lee

Lee: …So I guess we're good?

Man: …Yeah. Restraining order, 1000 yards; No contact with the victim for 10 years; No contact with the child in any way; and you will be monitored by satellite for 5 ½ years. Understood?

Lee: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Jessica P. Morgan, you're free to leave now.

Jessica: Thank you, your honor.

Jessica leaves with great pleasure of being away from Lee.

Judge: (Mutters) How you managed to marry this man, I'll never know.

--

Lee is sitting in his house, on his bed, just hanging out. He's in a deep daze, and has beer bottles and straws all over the place. Don't ask me about the straws. He's weird like that. He picks up the phone and dials a number. The rings are long, in his ears, and he looks like he's going to throw up. Someone answers.

Woman: 'Lo?

Lee: Hello?

Woman: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no… God, heaven, and mercy and shit, no… no, no, no… you stay away, you understand? YOU STAY AWAY.

Lee: wait, don't… don't han' up. I need to…

Woman: NO. YOU STAY AWAY!

Lee: Jessica! No! Please, I…

Static

Lee: sigh…(mutters) No good, dirty American slut, nothing but a shitbag; a f-

Ring!

He answers, pausing before he says hey.

Lee: M'Lo?

Choji: Hey. You okay? That court hearing messed you up, didn't it?

Lee: Yeah. I ran out. Can you fix that?

Choji: I don't see why not, but can't you steal TenTen's beer yourself? It's not that hard. She's never home, and Neji doesn't care what you take, as long as it's not his stuff.

Lee: Right. 'K. Bye.

--

Lee: What? You work for the F.B.I???

Naruto: Yeah, uh… don't say anything, 'k?

Lee: WHY DO YOU WORK FOR THE F.B.I????

Naruto: It's not really a big deal. See, the Department of Obscene Fangirl Utilization Society (DoOFUS) wanted to know if Sasuke was gay. I'm their undercover agent. I can't believe that he's that bad.

Lee: So you're NOT gay?

Naruto: No! It makes me SICK to have to be AROUND him, but I have to BE GAY with him? That's a nightmare! He sucks with his tools, if you know what I'm saying. Seriously!

Lee: Hang on… you're NOT GAY??

Lee got slapped. I'd say he deserved it.

-later-

Naruto: …And don't talk to me until you get that straight! I'm STRAIGHT!!!

Lee: Wow, I was going to… wow. Not cool, man. I need a drink.

--

Thanks for reading. I haven't written in forever. Bye!