Until The Day I Die Chapter 2: Crash and Burn, an o.c. fanfic

Hey so I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to finally put up the story!! So I was thinking and I am not making this only a one shot is going to be more like a three shot if that makes sense? The first chapter will be Seth's thoughts about Marissa, then Summer's and finally it will conclude with Ryan's, which is what it was supposed to be in the beginning. I am sorry if you don't like the other chapters but they will be first!! I hope you enjoy here is the first official chapter about Seth and Marissa. Just a heads up it's a little AU.

"There's been an accident."

After that Seth stopped listening. He couldn't help it he just stopped. He might have been coherent enough to hear that Ryan had got out with mild injuries, but she was dead.

When you feel all alone,
and the world has turned its back on you,

Right after he heard that he put the phone down and turned to his parents and uttered two words he didn't want to believe, "Marissa's dead." He walked upstairs towards his room still disbelieving. A few hours ago he had been celebrating with Summer that he would be joining her up at school next year. He had been happy.

Give me a moment please,
to tame your wild wild heart,

Now it was like that didn't matter as much. She's dead. Seth opened his door and walked in shutting it quietly behind him. He sat down on the edge of his bed and refused to believe it. He grabbed his phone and hit the number 4-speed dial and waited. After 3 rings he heard her voice. Her voicemail. "Hey it's Marissa leave a message!" Seth didn't leave a message. He just let the phone slip from his fingers and fall to the floor still open.

I know it feels like the walls are closing in on you,
it's hard to find relief,

Seth broke out into a cold sweat. He's not really sure why he walked over to his desk and turned on the computer. He got onto iTunes and burned a cd of his favorite type of music. Punk. All of his favorite bands, The Cramps, Stiff Little Fingers, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, and of course Death Cab For Cutie. That was Marissa's favorite music too. Was. Seth couldn't think about that. He burned the cd and put in his stereo and turned it up all the way, blocking out all outside sounds.

And people can be so cruel,
when darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore,

Next he opened up a drawer in his desk and pulled out his favorite book On The Road. That was Marissa's favorite book too. Was. He froze; the few cold beats of sweat poured down his face and back. But once again blocking it out, just listening to the words of each song and reading every word carefully.

Let me be the one you call,
if you jump I'll break your fall,
Lift you up and fly away into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend a broken heart,
if you need to crash then crash and burn,
you're not alone.

By the time he finished the book, the cd had repeated itself several times. He didn't care. He could never get sick of listening to this music no matter how much he heard it. He also couldn't get sick of this book no matter how many times he read it.

When you feel all alone,
and a loyal friend is hard to find,

Marissa wouldn't have either; after all it was all her favorite too. Was. That's all he could think about now. Was. Past tense. She's dead. He didn't want to think. Thinking is overrated. Then a very disturbing thought hit him. They weren't the core four anymore or the fantastic four as he called them. She's gone. They could never be that again. They could never be complete again. That's how they functioned. The 4 of them made up one person all apart of each other in a different way.

You're caught in a one-way street,
with the monsters in your head.

With out Marissa they were just Seth, Summer, and Ryan. Not whole, not happy, not okay. She couldn't be dead. Seth froze again. He wasn't complete anymore. Summer, Ryan and Marissa were the only reasons he even existed in the first place, the only reasons why he was still here in this god-forsaken town. He felt his blood boil. Summer is the love of his life, Ryan is his brother, Marissa (not always but after Ryan came) is his best friend (besides Ryan). He sighed.

When hopes and dreams are far away,
and you feel like you can't face the day.

Seth started to shake. He put his book down and picked up his sketchpad. Without thinking he stared drawing. He had drawn her many times before, but not as Marissa as Cosmo Girl her super hero alter ego. Seth didn't think as he drew every feature of her face with shaky hands, but managed not to let it show.

He finished. It was perfect, just like a photograph. That face was burned into his memory forever. That's all now a memory. Seth couldn't help but think that he could never show this to her. They couldn't hang out and listen to music anymore of just joke around and make fun of each other ever again.

Because there has always been heartache and pain,
and when it's over you'll breathe again.

Again he reached into his drawer and pulled out 2 photographs. The first was taken on the first day of kindergarten. Their parents being best friends made them ride together and insisted on a picture. Since they were friendly enough they stood there with their arms around each other and smiled big. The second was taken the day before on Graduation. Their parents once again pulled them aside and insisted on a picture again. So they stood there happily again remembering the first time they had done this and joked about it later, and put their arms around each other with big smiles to capture another great memory.

You'll breathe again.

Seth put the photos down side by side and walked over to the floor to pick up his phone. He looked at it. It had been hours since he made that phone call. Hours since it slipped right out of his grasp. He set it down on the end.

When you feel all alone,
and the world has turned it back on you,

The music was still blaring from his speakers filling the whole house with his and Marissa's favorite songs. He looked at the items on his desk, the two pictures taken, the book, the drawing, and the phone. He stared at the phone. He just couldn't bring himself to close it and end the call. The timer was still going as her name flashed with another picture set as her picture ID. It was still there. He had taken the picture of them at the diner merely a few short months before when they were still the fantastic four. When they were still whole.

Give me a moment please,
to tame your wild wild heart.

He sat next to her in the booth and held up the camera. He told her to make a funny face and she stuck out her tongue and tried not to laugh while Seth scrunched up his face. After they laughed hard at them selves like they always had. It didn't matter that they were 18 year olds taking silly pictures of them selves. They were Seth and Marissa 2 of the core four just being them selves, kids at heart.

Let me be the one you call,
if you jump I'll break your fall,

The seconds of the call still counted just waiting for him to leave a message for her. A message she will never receive. Seth's legs collapsed and he fell into his chair and looked over each item carefully one last time. Now Seth Cohen wasn't tough you could ask anyone and they would agree, but he wasn't as weak as some think and he certainly didn't cry very often.

Lift you up and fly away into the night.
If you need to fall apart,

Right then at that moment he put his elbows on his thys leaned forward and put his face in his hands and cried. Cried for Summer who would take this even worse than him and probably push him away. Cried for Ryan who would never get over her. Cried for her family her mother, sister, and father who were more like her second family anyway. And finally cried for himself. Marissa was apart of him, and when she died apart of him died too.

I can mend a broken heart,
if you need to crash then crash and burn,
you're not alone.

Ok so I know I made them way closer than they were and I always hated that we never saw how Seth handled the news about her death. Oh and sorry if at sometimes it seemed like he was in love with her or something I am completely S/S and R/M it just kind of came out that way!! So anyway please review I would love it so much say anything you want!! Thanks so much!!! Crash and Burn by Savage Garden.