HAH! this update happened in under two weeks aren't you proud of me?????

alright so let's see what this "fatal hesitation" has wrought upon our two lovers...

He began forming hand seals and chanting to himself more quickly than he even thought he was capable of, in the single hope of getting Naruto pinned and attempting a specialized chakra sealing by hand. Naruto made a sideways dash, and Sasuke took off running straight at him. The engagement ring on Naruto's hand caught the light of the fiery chakra around him; Sasuke made a fatal hesitation.

"Can't hurt you…I love you…"

Chapter XXXVIII

Pain

The next few seconds were as if in slow motion. He knew he needed to cancel the chakra seal he'd been planning, because he had hesitated. He only had one other option. He again began to form jutsu hand signs in a ditch effort to halt Naruto harmlessly; Goukakyuu no jutsu perhaps could stop Naruto for an extra few seconds; just enough to give time to think of a better action. He was still moving, dangerously close to Naruto now—Sasuke blew through his fingers, and fire erupted. Sometimes it still surprised him how powerful his own jutsu was. Just when he was getting an inkling of regret, Naruto had come through the wall flame effortlessly.

"Shit.." Sasuke stood, blank, defenseless, the only thing between himself and the now nine-tailed Naruto being a very few feet of empty air. Kyuubi's power suddenly caused Naruto to move at an unreal speed and Naruto leapt at him, hands outstretched; The claws that Naruto possessed at the moment became very evident to Sasuke. In that one second of thinking time, he bent himself backward at the waist; it was the only evasive motion he could make. But now Naruto was past him, and the clone was in danger. Sasuke acted without thought—something he almost never did.

"That child can NOT die…I can't let that happen…it's my only hope of a family…" Before he'd even realized it, he was in the way. Everything froze, including Naruto/Kyuubi. Sasuke heard the blood splatter on the floor before he looked down and saw it, as Naruto stumbled to a halt against him. Even the pain came delayed. As the long slice wound on his stomach began to sting and finally grow to excruciating torture, Sasuke watched the hesitance on Naruto's face. The mix of guilt and pain, along with the remaining traces of Kyuubi's anger, all formed together in Naruto's facial expression. Naruto blinked for the first time in minutes. "Sasuke—" He was whispering so quietly that Sasuke barely heard him. He found that he couldn't answer Naruto. Couldn't comfort, couldn't try to tell him it was okay. He wasn't certain if it was. He felt himself fall to the floor; the bleeding was worse than he'd thought. His thoughts faded first to broken sentences, then to confusion—and then to nothing.

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Naruto's right mind returned to him suddenly and with desperation as he stared at the floor, where Sasuke was laid at his feet, face down, a small pool of blood beneath him. "No…no…No…." He gasped, his breath coming in short spurts as he knelt down, reaching with a shaking hand to touch Sasuke's hair, but as his own hand came into his view he saw blood. Sasuke's blood. The inner conflict in his mind became evident with a vengeance as he suddenly seemed to realize that the clone—and it's curse seal, still partially activated—was still there. Upon eye contact the child retreated backward a few steps, staring wide-eyed back at him. Naruto retracted his hand from Sasuke, his own thoughts and control fading in and out—he wasn't sure what his body would do next, or what to do. Tears dripped down his face freely as he stumbled backward against the wall. "I can't—I can't go back to Konoha like this—I can't…" He stumbled away, leaving the room.

"I can't hurt anyone else…"

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Outside was chilly and dark; it was the middle of the night. Naruto distanced himself from the location quickly, fading in and out of consciousness as he went, even though he never stopped moving. Three different influences were pushing onto his mind, the first screaming and cursing at him for leaving Sasuke, the second being Kyuubi, still writhing in agitation and anger, and third and most prevalent being uncertainty and loneliness. It felt like he was a little 6 year old again, staying far away from anything and everything because he didn't know if he was a monster or not. That was the thought that had made him leave Sasuke. He didn't want to believe that Sasuke was bleeding to death—he wouldn't allow himself to think about it.

"If I stayed, I might have made it even worse for him…just because Kyuubi wants to kill that…child.." It only served to prove that he still wasn't fully in control of his own body. It wasn't until he was far, far away, that he was finally able to clearly think, and the grief of what had just happened washed over him suddenly, drowning him in emotional trauma. He crouched by a tree, breathing hard, trying to stay still, and wondering how he could stop whatever was happening and possibly go back to Sasuke. The tails weren't going away. They were apparently very physically real. He could see them, touch them…he buried his face in his hands and took a long deep breath. Sasuke's blood smeared his face and into his hair. There weren't a lot of things that made him really break down, but one of them was the issue of who and what he was.

"After all that effort…all that control and all that caution…I still can't control the demon inside me. I still can't live like everyone else…" He choked back a sob, wiping his eyes with his sleeve but he couldn't stop. He pulled his knees up to his chest and sat there under the tree in the dead of night, and let the sobs come.

"I don't want to hurt anyone else…I don't want to…kill anyone.. and Sasuke can't die…He won't…he can't!"

---------

Sasuke was flat on his back when he came to; he felt like he was choking on something. Breathing liquid. As soon as he tried to take a clear breath whatever was in his throat came right up. He coughed, warm blood spilling over his lips, and suddenly he could breathe properly. He didn't want to move or look around to see what had happened. He stayed still, eyes closed, until he finally realized something. He shouldn't be alive. The last thing he remembered was the heat of his own pooling blood around his stomach. Now that he'd remembered, he realized how much pain he was in. He made a small noise, which was immediately answered.

"Don't move Uchiha Sasuke. You might not heal correctly." Sasuke was now confused—he didn't recognize the voice.

"Who are you…where's Naruto…where's—"

"Sh. I'm an Anbu officer. Hatake Kakashi and Haruno Sakura's research of this area were evidence enough that you needed help. There's a small Anbu team here, and Naruto is nowhere to be found."

"What—" Sasuke sat up sharply; fortunately the person who had been healing him had just finished. Sasuke looked around rapidly, surveying the entire room in one glance. His own sizeable puddle of blood on the floor, 7 Anbu members, and no sign of Naruto or the clone. Sasuke stood up, and the three closest officers to him inched closer; he sensed that they were ready to hold him back at any given moment. A full blown outburst wouldn't be very well received. However he couldn't help how on edge he was, given the situation. He paced back and forth in short lines, one hand smoothing through his hair as he stared at the floor.

"There was a clone here. A little kid. He looked like Naruto and I…." Sasuke's sentence trailed, and he looked up to the masked face nearest to him.

"The cloned child was sent back to the village with two Anbu. Any experimentation we were to find here was ordered to be quarantined for study." Sasuke fell extremely silent in an effort to stay controlled.

"How could they? How could they do that?? It's just a little kid, he's still human!" Even as he thought it, his voice of reason knew that it was the proper thing to do. Anything technically created by Orochimaru was a risk; that was completely obvious. Sasuke knew that he was only feeling helpless in the situation and letting his personal emotions cloud his own sanity.

"What if they destroy the clone…but no they wouldn't do that.. they can't hurt it…" His thoughts were broken when he suddenly felt a sore lack of Naruto's presence.

"I can't stay here…I have to—find Naruto…" he murmured dazedly, and made a run for the door. The result was that he was restrained so fast that it was almost like he'd been snatched out of the air.

"You're in no condition to continue decision making on this mission. Let the squad handle things from here." He was told. Sasuke 'huffed' and stayed still and quiet. Fighting Anbu superiors would only get him some type of punishment or possible prolonged suspension. But his mind wouldn't stop scheming.

"If I can get away from the group I can find Naruto myself…I'm the only one that can help him right now."

---------

The blackness of the night only emphasized and made more powerful the impermeable silence silence surrounding the nine-tailed blonde.

"They say when the woods get silent…no birds, no insects, no movement…it's because something dangerous is around…something deadly…fatal…something that could kill…" Naruto lay curled into himself on the ground, letting his thoughts run wild and uninhibited as he had nothing better to do than to lay still and wonder why he had been controlled so completely.

"…the woods are silent because…there's a fox demon here…and it's me…" He shivered lightly, not surprised when the many tails coming from him moved of their own accord, surrounding him and providing a shield of slight warmth against the cold night air. He closed his eyes as if to pray, and spoke to Sasuke; it comforted him just to pretend his fiancé could hear him.

"Sasuke…I know you're alright…because you have to be. I—I don't want to go back to you…because I know I couldn't have killed you, but I might if I try to see you...I don't have any control anymore…" He tried to stop his thoughts from drifting toward life without Sasuke—but the very action of resisting the thought made it even harder to ignore. Naruto brought his hands up to his head, fisting them in his hair as he squeezed his eyes closed more tightly.

"No…no he's not dead…he's perfectly ok…" Even as he tried to convince himself of that fact, he still was able to feel Sasuke's dried blood on his hands and face. He sat up, his fists in his hair tightening even further as if to block the thoughts from entering, and his knees pulled as close to his body as possible as if to protect his heart from the mere possibility.

"If he died…and I killed him…There's no way I could live with myself…there's no way in hell I could ever forgive myself…" "That didn't happen...it didn't happen…" He said audibly, and his own voice seemed abrasively loud in the dead silence of the forest. His heart beat faster and faster out of the fear alone of having to see what happened to Sasuke sooner or later. It occurred to him that he didn't quite remember much about when he'd still been in the building with Sasuke. His memory had spotted, and all he could see now was Sasuke, bleeding. He didn't know if the cloned child had been killed also or not. He knew Sasuke extremely well—inside and out—and he knew that Sasuke was already attached to the idea of a son. As overly idealistic as they both knew that idea was, Naruto knew that Sasuke wanted a successor more than anything; the clone was an impossible dream come to life. Naruto took a deep, shaky breath, knowing that if he'd killed the clone also, Sasuke would be heartbroken.

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Sasuke sulked in the corners while Anbu gathered papers, items, and further explored the room. He had already formulated in his mind what he was going to do.

"I'm sorry.. but I can't wait around for all this; I have to find Naruto, I have to make sure he's alright, and we have to get back to the village…Now. And he should be ok since he's away from the curse seal's energy…He…he probably thinks I'm still hurt." He casually walked toward the exit. He didn't run, he didn't try to go unseen.

"Sasuke, where are you going?" A voice from an officer. Sasuke paused in the doorway; the doorway that he'd destroyed with Naruto's Rasengan. He looked over his shoulder and back at the masked Anbu faces. All eyes were on him.

"Thanks for healing me.." He gave his gratitude briefly, and then turned and took off running. Shouts of alarm and warning echoed after him, but he ignored it all and raced down the hall, having to utilize his chakra to get a good enough distance to make it all the way to the entrance that he and Naruto had used, and make his escape. And escaping Anbu would require a ridiculous amount of show.

"Keep going…I'm faster than they are…I'm faster than most of the village…" He quickly formed his hand seals and completely blew away the doorway, bursting into the cold night air, and he didn't even have time to think, only to react. A backward flip and careful expenditure of chakra landed him on the roof of the hideaway, and another nimble and chakra enhanced leap placed him directly into the branch of an overhanging tree. He scrambled higher into the branches and looked down. The Anbu squad was streaming out of the burnt and melting doorway.

"Last one.. where's the last one?!" He waited a few more seconds, until he saw the last figure leave. His fingers flew to complete seals.

"Katon; Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" He took a huge breath, and exhaled, aiming directly for the small power box underneath the dull red glowing light that he had noticed hours ago when he and Naruto had entered. He stared, unaffected by the deafening roar of the fire, in near shock at what he'd produced for a few seconds—the fireball he'd formed was bigger than anything he'd ever created. The flaming ball of nearly black fire effortlessly engulfed the target spot, and Sasuke had to snap himself out of staring to back up several yards and shield himself from the resulting explosion. "They better have been smart enough to get the hell out of the way..." He then smirked as he lowered his arm from shielding his eyes from the light and heat, and turned to leave, delving deep into the dark forest as behind him, black smoke rose in an intimidating cloud from the burning structure below, and molten metal fell in pieces from the sky.

"I'll definitely get it for this back in Konoha…Kakashi will probably throttle me."

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"Ah…how are these actually real…" Naruto grunted, gripping one of his own sprouted tails in a death grip. He bit his bottom lip to hold back the pain he was causing himself. He let go, giving up trying to make the tails go away. He slumped back against the tree; the same tree he'd been under all night. As he looked up, it seemed that dawn was approaching. He felt sick and hungry, and drained of emotion—most of his night had been spent crying. At that he let through a cheerless smile.

"I haven't had a miserable night in forever…Sasuke-kun made sure of that…" He dragged himself to his feet. He normally had good balance anyway, and with nine tails behind him it seemed like he couldn't fall if he wanted to. As he slowly gathered himself and tried to shut out the thoughts of hopelessness invading his mind, he turned to face back the way he'd come.

"What…what's that?" He could make out against the slowly lightening sky the shape of dark smoke spots. "Fire…" he murmured. "That's where we were… that's where Sasuke…is…" He began to run insanely toward the smoke, almost wishing that tears would come, but he was all out of them. His heartbeat was hurting him though. The sick feeling he had was worsening.

---------

As he began to close in on the clearing, he could smell burning wood and melted metal. Soon, the smoke thickened dramatically and he paused, standing at the edge of the clearing as he coughed into his sleeve. His eyes stung because of the smoke-filled air, and he could still feel heat. He backed up quickly before he ran out of air, and stared from a distance in disbelief. He began to shake his head in denial.

"Sasuke…" he whispered; his heart was pounding out of his chest as he came to the only conclusion he could make, given the circumstances—the last time he'd seen Sasuke, Sasuke was bleeding on the floor. And now the building he had been lying helpless in was up in flames.

"Sasuke!!" He screamed at the clearing and the smoke, dropping to his knees in utter helplessness. He had thought he'd been out of tears, but now they dripped to the ground at a near constant rate, spilling down his face, spilling over his lips and down his neck. He felt he'd collapse at any moment now from the sheer shock. His right hand went automatically to the engagement ring, gripping his entire ring finger tightly as he stared blankly into the black smoke ahead of him. He flinched just barely as the ring cut into his finger from how tightly he was holding it. He gradually began to hyperventilate; his entire body was shaking, and all at once he wanted to tear all nine tails off of himself, no matter how much it would hurt.

"I've…I…I caused this…this is my fault…" One hand flailed for a kunai from his supply belt, and the other hand snatched at the tails coming from him. He slowly neared the kunai to the base of his fistful of tails, numbly preparing to slice them off in a sudden fit of insanity.

"Maybe this will make them go away..." "Maybe this will make it stop!!!" He screamed at the tails, the symbol of the suffering he'd endured his entire life, as a demon vessel. His hand with the kunai rose and his jaw clenched in anticipation. "I want to kill Kyuubi…I want to kill Kyuubi for cursing my life!!" He began to sputter words through his own tears as his trauma-ridden stare grew to infinite hate for the creature inside him. "You made me kill Sasuke…YOU MADE ME KILL HIM!!"

Aaaand I think I'll stop there. ;)

...it seems like Sasuke wasn't the one you guys should've been worried about...poor Naru-chan.

-Kitsune