Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all right to Masashi Kishimoto.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews, it means a lot :) I don't think chapter is the best it could be. But I'll let you all decide that. And again I do apologise for grammar and spelling mistakes! I'm English and was taught to spell it as you say it :p (There may be a wait for chapter 5, as Ive not finished chapter 4 yet. Due to Uni and work, it may take longer to update than these previous chapters) Anyway, hope you like it. Please Review and let me know what you think :) xXx

Chapter 3

The men of my past.

March 29th (11.15am)

'Right my little Diary, You seem to have been a very worth while buy or I'm going mad, relying on a diary to keep me sane hehe! Right well I wouldn't have said that was the best birthday I have ever had or even the best morning for the matter of fact.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid Kakashi. How dare him!!! I can't believe he's doing this again!

OK, I'm not making any sense. Let me set the scene correctly. It was winter, I was 17. Kakashi and I had been getting close for a good year. We had started seeing each other every day, then as one thing lead to another, we began dating. This was all in secret, He wasn't my Sensei at the time, he hadn't been for a year, all though we still occasionally trained together. But Kakashi and I both agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone about us, In all honesty, I didn't want to deal with Konoha's reactions to our relationship, let alone my friends reactions. I don't know if I was scared or to immature to deal with it, maybe it was both.

In the January before my 18th birthday, I slept with Kakashi, coincidently loosing my virginity to him. Which at the time, it was the right decision, I had fell for him. I had fell for him hard. To what I know, I loved him. We had a good relationship for 5 months, we talked, we laughed, we had a great sex life, but there was something missing, something that in my mind is vital for a relationship...Honesty. Kakashi seemed to have a problem with being honest with me, let alone he wouldn't trust me. For 5 months of practically living together, he never once showed me his face. He kept telling me it wasn't the right time. How much time did the man need, I'd known him for 5 years at the time. I understood in some way that this was a big thing for him, but after 5 months of dating I was sharing all of my thoughts and feelings and it seemed like Kakashi was playing cluedo with me...I had to guess, I had to guess how he was feeling, that or I had to be a bloody mind reader.

I suppose at first, he seemed very thoughtful to be asking me how I was, what I had been doing etc., all the daily questions you ask most people you know. Yet I couldn't ever get an answer from Kakashi, apart the odd 'I'm OK' and 'well its been my usual day' and that was the most I got. If I ever asked him about his likes dislikes, his past, what he liked doing in his free time apart from reading porn, I never got much of an answer, other than 'you know the usual' How the fuck is that an answer? As the months went on I soon began to realise this and this relationship was never going to get any where if he couldn't open up to me.

So 2 days before my 18th birthday, I confronted Kakashi about how I felt. He said he would try his best, but it will take some time. Well I was willing to wait, that night we made love and for the first time he didn't wear his mask. Which in my eyes was an achievement, it was his way of showing me he would trust me. OK so I couldn't see his face properly, but it was the start. That night, I couldn't have been more happy. I lay in Kakashi's arms all night, drifting in and out of sleep, blissfully happy to be sharing my life with him. We always had "sex", but that night we "made love" for the first time, it felt right, all the pieces to the puzzle were finally coming together. As I lay in his arms, ii felt like he was the one.

I awoke in the morning, the day before my 18th and Kakashi was gone. I thought he had gone training, but he had left a note on my pillow. I can't remember it word for word now, but in simple words it said 'I'm sorry, I can't do this, I'm only going to hurt you, Sorry' Which I couldn't understand, I felt like we was getting somewhere, I opened up to the bastard, I let him in, which was also a hard thing for me too. And he bloody leaves, with nothing, no explanation why just say he was sorry. That wasn't good enough for me.

So I went to find him, he slammed the door in my face and then I couldn't find him. I got the hint he didn't want to see me, and I couldn't take it. I wanted to be with him and clearly he did not.

The week before this happened I had accepted a 3 year mission in Grass Country, which Kakashi was supposed to me coming with me to start a new life there..Together. But clearly it was too much for Kakashi. The next two weeks were hell, I didn't know what to do, I felt like a Genin again. I felt helpless.

Two weeks of hell later and not even seeing Kakashi, not through trying I might add. I set off to Grass country, with Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru as escorts. 4 days later we arrived in Grass, too my annoyance Ino asking every 5 minutes what was wrong with me, she knew I wasn't being myself. But I didn't mention a word of Kakashi or any other man for the fact.

Then I began my life in Grass, over the 4 years, when Naruto and Ino were on missions they always came to see me and spend a few days with me and Takato in our home. It was nice, but always in my mind, even though I loved Takato more than I ever thought I loved Kakashi, part of me still wanted him to turn up and explain to me what happened. I could have coped with a letter. But nothing.

And that's the story of me and Kakashi. I'm fed up of bitching about him and I'm fed up of thinking about what could be different. I've had enough of it, all though my mind ALWAYS end's up thinking about him when I'm alone. And after last night he really hasn't helped, he has just confused me more than he did 4 years ago. I think now is the time to get back concentrating on my work, Takato wouldn't want me stressing over a man that really is never going to be the man that I need in my life.'

I closed the diary and got myself ready for the day ahead. The usual run for an hour then I'm going for a meeting with Tsunade about the current state of how Konoha's hospital is. Which really doesn't sound too interesting, but if it takes my mind off everything, then I'm happy.

On my way to the meet Tsunade after my run, I saw Naruto with Hinata looking in shop windows for table decorations for there wedding in 6 months. The last person I expected to see standing next to Naruto looking bored, was Sasuke.

I didn't even know he was back, I didn't know anything. I felt like that friend everyone has, who always moans about being the last to find out things...well I seem to be that friend at the moment.

"Sakura-Chan?" Naruto screamed, he had noticed me. I was hoping to just slip past them quietly.

Naruto and Hinata walked towards me, but Sasuke kinda stood still looking around before moving a slight inch.

"Morning Sakura" Naruto and Hinata both said at the same time. I smiled at this, as they were all ready acting like an old married couple.

"Morning guys, you didn't mention Sasuke was back" I asked looking at Sasuke who was still a few feet away.

"Yeah, he came back last year Sakura-Chan, I thought I told you in one of my letters." Naruto said scratching his head thinking about if he did mention it or not. "Maybe you didn't get that letter or something. That's odd, because I'm sure I sent it just after training with Kakashi Sensei." Naruto finished continuing to scratch his head.

"Y-yes Naruto, You mentioned you were sending it after training, because there was a letter from me as well" Hinata stuttered looking a bit confused.

At first I thought it was an excuse, but by the genuine look of surprise on their faces I take it they weren't lying.

"Never mind guys, It can't be helped. They must have got lost on the way or something. Don't worry about it, I know now." I said, wishing I really had received that letter.

I caught Sasuke in the corner of my eye, slowly walking towards myself, Naruto and Hinata.

I was about to ask Hinata about the wedding and if she needed any help when I heard, "Good to see you again Sakura, You've changed a lot" Sasuke said smiling.

I stopped dead, Sasuke was actually smiling and it looked like a genuine smile, not a forced one that Sai had perfected, the kind of smile you wouldn't be so sure if he was faking it or not.

"Hello Sasuke, you have changed a bit yourself" I said looking him up and down.

Damn right he had changed. His facial features seemed softer, even though he has some bags under his eyes. His body had changed a lot as well, he was a lot more muscular than the 15 year old I last saw. He had grown a few more inches as well it seemed, he had to be around 5ft 8. He had grown, he seemed more gorgeous than I can ever remember.

"Where are you off to Sakura Chan? Do you want to get some lunch?" Naruto asked, clearly trying to wake me from the daze I had just put myself in.

"I'd love to Naruto, But I have a meeting with Tsunade now actually I should be heading off." I replied still looking as Sasuke in disbelief.

"How about we meet up tonight? You, me Sasuke and I'll ask Kakashi Sensei to come. Would be nice seeing all of team 7 again, don't you think Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked, positively beaming at the thought of team 7 getting back together.

"Yes, that would be Erm...lovely Naruto" I said smiling trying not to show any emotion at the mention of Kakashi's name.

"Well I'll meet you Naruto and Sakura at 7pm, how about that new Noodle restaurant? People have said it's quite nice."Sasuke asked.

"As long as they sell ramen I don't mind, so 7pm OK for you Sakura-Chan?" Naruto asked waving his hands in front of me.

"Sorry, yes 7pm is fine by me. I'll meet you both at the restaurant, I have to go now" I replied trying to take my mind off Sasuke and Kakashi.

I waved at the 3 of them as I began to run to the Hokage tower, 20 minutes late for my appointment with Tsunade.

"She's going to be pissed" I told myself as I reached the Hokage's door.

Hope you enjoyed it, please review. It's always nice to hear what you think :)