Disclaimer: Once again I own nothing :-( If I did well lets just say season 3 would've gone quite differently.
A/N: So life got in the way...I had a little trouble writing this chapter, and then I was in North Carolina finishing up on the college tours...only step left is to hear back from my final (and my top) school, and then make the decision. TOO stressful. Anyway, this chapter is primarily in Veronica's POV. And it may seem...rather out of character, but this is really the version of Veronica I feel fits with the story and stuff. So please read and review...lemme know what you think!
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Veronica's POV:
I want to tell him…well at least I want to tell someone. You know? Really talk to someone about it. Someone who wasn't there when everything went down. When my whole life was turned upside down. His presence next to me is calming. It makes me wish I hadn't run. The kiss we shared by the pool, it was great. It felt…better than any kiss I've shared with a guy…but I'm not supposed to feel this way anymore. I told myself I wouldn't do this…not after last time. Not after the supposed love of my life dumped me and tried to turn everyone against me. He shunned me, tried to cut me off. The only reason people still talked to me was because of Lilly. Only Lilly could stand up to her brother like she did. And when she did it, man Duncan flipped out! I haven't seen him since. Lilly said Celeste sent him to a private school where he could start over, restart his life, get a good jump on that presidency she's dying to see him eventually have.
I refuse to look at Logan, because not having to see pity or anything like that is easier. Instead of seeing him feeling bad for me, I want to just talk. Get it all out there.
"You shouldn't want to be with me Logan. I'm messed up, I'm broken. And I don't think I can be fixed…" deep breaths, that's all it takes. I just need to take my time.
"Veronica I don't…"
"Please just listen Logan. I want you to know some things." I can feel him shifting next to me, it's clear that he wants to say something, maybe try and comfort me in some way. At least that's what people usually do when I talk about what happened. Especially Lilly and Wallace. They were the ones who were there through it all, and whenever I start to talk they always want to comfort me. That's not what I want right now.
"Last year I was…different. Not like strange different, but different than I am now. I was pink flowers, I was frill and pep. I was Lilly's toy most of the time. Not that I resent it. She dressed me up, always did my make-up. I was who she wanted to be. I even dated her brother for awhile. Everything was perfect. Or so I thought.
"I thought Duncan was the love of my life. I would dream of the white picket fence and the golden retriever. I liked the idea of having two kids, being the soccer mom while he took over his dad's computer company. It just seemed like it was the right thing, like it was the direction I was supposed to go in." God this is when it gets hard. I'm not sure I can go through with it. But I've already started…it's not like I can just stop now.
"My family was perfect too. It was my mom, my dad and I. We did everything a 'perfect' family does. We even had weekly game nights. We'd pull out the monopoly or some other ridiculous game, and we'd just sit in the living room and play. It seemed like nothing could go wrong.
"But then my 16th birthday came around. My mom was supposed to pick me up early from school, but she never showed. It was strange, because for awhile my mom had been more excited about my birthday than I was. The week leading up to my birthday she had become distant, but I chalked it up to her planning something. She was never good at keeping secrets, so when she had one she usually tried to stay away from me so I wouldn't find out.
"When she didn't show at school I had Lilly drive me home. She pulled up in front of my house and told me to call her when I was ready to head over to Dick's that night. My birthday party was at his house. Usually we did the big bash at Lilly's, but the Kane's were home, and Big Dick was off on his 5th honeymoon. I just nodded at Lilly and headed towards the front door. I could hear yelling, and that in itself was weird. My family never yelled. But I quietly made my way inside where I saw my mom with suitcases by her feet. Not one suitcase like you pack to go on a trip. She had packed everything." By now I can feel the tears forming, and it's this point in the story that I hate talking about. It's weird though, it seems like Logan really knows me, 'cause he just puts his arm around my shoulder but doesn't talk. I lean into him, trying to channel some strength from him in order to continue. Luckily he lets me take my time.
"My mom didn't say much when she saw me. She just looked at me and shook her head. She looked angry…or disappointed. I'm not really sure which. But she didn't look at me for long. She picked up her bags and brushed past me, telling my dad that she hoped we had a good life. Then she stormed out the front door.
"It didn't hit me at first. I didn't believe that my mother could be gone, that my perfect family wasn't so perfect anymore. But my dad took me in his arms and hugged me for awhile, telling me over and over than she loved me, but they weren't able to work things out. Apparently Mom had been cheating on Dad. I never did find out who she was having the affair with, but I really don't care. She left us, and to me that meant she was a villain. My dad was the hero in the situation; he was the one that stayed."
"Veronica I…"
"Please wait Logan. I'm not done." I stand; this portion of the story is going to take a little something. I need a drink or something. "Can we get a drink first though? I need a little…liquid courage." I laugh a little, hoping to lighten the mood, but Logan doesn't say anything, he just follows me inside to the makeshift bar.
After a couple of drinks on my part, all of which I poured for myself directly from a previously unopened bottle, Logan leads me out back, towards the pool. All of the partygoers have congregated inside where a few girls are so drunk that they are making out. It's times like these that remind me of why I really hate high school parties. When we sit Logan looks at me and just waits.
"So after my mom left my dad and me, I called Lilly. I didn't tell her what had happened, I just told her to pick me up for the party. I put on a dress which Lilly dubbed perfect for my 'Sweet 16,' and of course got ready, making sure to meet all of Lilly's specifications. When she called to tell me she was there I ran past my dad and out the door, barely said anything. I just wanted to get out of there.
"At first the party was going well. Everyone was great, wishing me a happy birthday, lavishing me with presents. But of course after the initial excitement the attention turned to Lilly. She loves being in the spotlight, and I wasn't really in the mood so I didn't care. I decided to just have some fun. I was a lightweight, but I thought drinking might take my mind off of my family. After a few shots things began to get hazy but I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was dancing with a bunch of random Pan High guys who had crashed the party when Duncan showed up. He was furious! I seriously didn't know what was happening. But he started screaming at me, calling me a whore and everything. I was freaking out. He told me I was just like my mom and was yelling that I wouldn't sleep with him but I would sleep with the Pan High guys. I seriously had no clue what was going on. Dick and Cassidy tried to calm him down while…"
"Who's Cassidy?" I was shocked to hear Logan's voice. He'd been so quiet up until that point.
"Umm…Beaver…his real name is Cassidy…he's Dick's brother." I watch as Logan nods his understanding and looks at me again, I can tell he has questions, but I know that if I let him ask them now then I won't be able to finish telling him what happened.
"Dick and Cassidy were able to get him partially calm. He walked off in some direction mumbling about needing a drink. At this point I could barely stand, so Lilly led me to one of the many guest rooms so I could rest. I ended up passing out from the alcohol in my system, and Lilly went back to the party. I think a few hours passed…I'm not really sure. But I was jerked awake when I felt a body pressing down on me. I started crying and screaming, trying to get the person off of me. Luckily the party had started to quiet down and Dick heard me yelling. He came running into the room with Lilly and pulled Duncan off of me. I just sat on the bed with Lilly crying while Duncan screamed about how everything wasn't fair. Eventually Lilly went to find Wallace and had him sit with me so that she could take Duncan home.
"I skipped school for a few days afterwards, telling Dad I was sick. I ended up cutting my own hair, completely redoing my wardrobe. I wanted to leave behind the girl I had been…the one who looked too much like my mother.
"When I finally went back to school I was getting looks left and right. It was like people didn't know what to think. And the looks definitely weren't because of my new look. Luckily Lilly had warned me the night before that things would be strange. Apparently Duncan had tried spreading rumors that I was a slut; that I had been with the whole baseball team and stuff. I spent most of the first day back in the girl's bathroom. But after that day I promised I wouldn't let that kind of thing get to me anymore…I was going to be strong.
"And well, over the last year I've grown up…I'm not 'pretty in pink' anymore. And I'm just not the girl you should want. You should be with someone who isn't so broken…someone like Lilly or something." So that wasn't bad…well at least it wasn't too bad. I got out what I wanted to say. Now if only I could read that expression on his face.
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Logan's POV:
Lilly? She thinks I should be with Lilly? The girl who bounces from one guy to the next? Who's probably hooked up with every guy at the party in the last half hour? I mean I know Lilly is her best friend, but she can't seriously see me being with her can she? I need to show Veronica that I want to be with her. She's the only girl at school who actually talked to me…not 'Aaron Echolls' son.' I lean forward and kiss her again, and she definitely isn't expecting it, but she's quicker to accept that kiss than I was hoping. I take it slowly, knowing that now isn't the time to be mauling her, not after she just told me all of this. I finally end the kiss when my brain begins to fry from the lack of oxygen.
"We all have our stories Veronica. Everyone's got either hidden or visible wounds, but none of them will heal if you don't allow yourself the chance to move on. I don't care about the bubblegum pink girl you used to be. I like the girl you are."
The smile that lights up her face makes everything seem better. But I hear my watch peep signifying the time, midnight. I glance at my watch to make sure before standing and reaching out for her hand.
"What do you say I get you home? We wouldn't want the sheriff to worry and enable to tracking device in your molar…that would not end well."
"I'd like that Logan. Thanks…for…everything." I lead her back through the throng of people and through Shelly's house, towards my car, and off into the night. Time to get the princess home before her dad finds reasons to dislike me.
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To be continued...
So this baby proved to be harder to write than I expected...but I got it out. I'm gunna take a few days before I dive into the next chapter, mainly 'cause I'm trying to write a story for the "stranged" challenge over at gogetembobcat at livejournal.
So please read and review! All feedback helps a ridiculous amount...gets the juices flowing and helps me know if you like what I've done with the story!