We stood there for only god knew how long. Finally he sighed, but it sounded strangled and hurt. When I looked up, his eyes were watery and his lower lip trembling, making the effort not to cry.
"Please," I whispered piteously. "Please Jake, I need you there." He smiled bitterly and it scared me but I didn't let it show.
"I'll try," He answered just as quietly, but with more power than I ever could. Standing straight, I didn't push farther; I was fine with the answer I got.
"Thank you Jacob," He still smiled, but now it had a tint of sadness to it.
"I still love you Bells, don't ever forget that. Even when I'm dead, or when you are I guess." He winced at his words. I playfully punched his arm.
"Love you too, Jake, but remember, you get to stay 16," He snorted.
"Sweet 16 for the next 40 years, ace," I grinned and he returned it.
"See you tomorrow," I mumbled, sighing and returning to my beat up Chevy. I waved and pulled out after starting up. I finally turned on the radio, patting the beat of the music on the steering wheel. I started to bang my head along and before I realized, I was at Edward's. I took a big gulp of air and stepped up to the large house after parking next to Rosalie's BMW.
Alice met me at the door. She gracefully fluttered around me, her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Shower?" I asked, smiling. She nodded curtly. I headed upstairs, plucking a fluffy white towel from the closet and stripped in the bathroom. I turned on the hot water to a scalding temperature and stepped in. When I was done I cut the heat, I stood shivering in the shower. My teeth were chattering and then I was on the ground, shivers rattling through me in great waves of pain. I was gasping and couldn't stop. Jake was right, I was going to die. I wasn't just going to be a vampire, but was going to die.
Death.
The word seized my heart. Ice cold tears rolled down my burning cheeks. Dead.
I gripped at my towel, gathering comfort in the warmth. I was still crying when I got out. I shivered making my way to Edward's room where a pile of freshly dried clothes laid folded on the foot of our bed.
I quickly climbed into them, feeling the soft flannel brush against me, pulling a soft sweatshirt on top of a white cotton tank top. I wrapped my arms around myself securely, then shuffled over to my crowded closet and quickly spun the dial on the lock. I flung open the doors then grasped myself again, staring at the gown.
It was white, of course. Its train I knew was at least 4 yards long. The corset bodice was laced up the back and it was floor length. It had an off the shoulder look with ¾ sleeves. Below it sat a pain of white ballet flats. Alice wanted me to wear the death traps she called stilettos but after much convincing on Jasper's part, Alice concluded that Edward wanted me whole and unbroken.
"It's gorgeous, isn't it Bella," A voice tinkled form behind me. I spun, slapping the door closed shut behind me. Rosalie stood in front of me, her face looking worn and sad, but underneath it lay something thicker, something more human that I could imagine. Fear. "I always wanted a gown like that. Emmet promised me one years ago." She shook her hear, stepping up next to me. She opened the closet and dropped to her knees. Rosalie picked up my flats and looked at them longingly. "I never got it," She went on, her beautiful voice strained. "I never got my elaborate wedding in a cathedral; I never got to go wedding dress shopping. I didn't even really get to choose who or how I was going to spend my life." She looked up at me, her face pained.
"Bella," She whispered. "Bella, please don't. Please don't do this," She was standing again, glaring into my eyes.
I smiled bitterly and I knew it was ugly. "Just because you didn't get that wedding Rose, doesn't mean I can't. I know Edward is who I want to spend my life with," Rosalie clutched my upper arms in a vise like grip.
"Do you want to die to be with him? Do you want to damn yourself for a guy?" I knew there were going to be bruises where Rosalie had pressed her fingers. "Do you really love Edward that much?" Her eyes were crinkled. Had she been human she would have been bawling.
I nodded, almost angry with Rosalie for trying to talk me out of loving Edward.
"I'm not really sorry, but yes,"