Chapter 24

He had Darla's eyes, Angel's lips and nose, and a combination of his parents' hair. It was fine and smooth like his mothers' and dark like his fathers'. He was a beautiful young man, Buffy decided. There was a mischievous intelligence in his eyes, and a slight upward curving smirk on his lips. He looked like the kind of man that had a brazen sense of courage but a very sensitive soul. Buffy decided all this in the minute she stared at him in the doorway.

"Is Angel home?" His voice was smoother and lighter than Angel's. It had a tint of mirth to it.

Nodding, she motioned for him to come in and pointed towards the kitchen. She watched as he walked through her home in blue jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. His frame was thin but he was muscular beneath his slight build.

Angel turned towards the living room in time for him to see his son walk through the foyer and right towards him. He froze, his mind stopped working, and his stomach started to flip flop inside his body. His son was standing in front of him. His adult son, whom he had not seen in almost four years, was standing in his living room.

His voice was dry when it escaped his body. "Connor."

Nodding slowly, Connor took his biological parent in. The man looked a little worse for wear. There was a large cut above one eye; he was wearing a robe that did not hide the dark discolorations of skin on his chest. There were long, thin, cuts on this abdomen, and his lip was split in the middle. Connor noticed lastly the fact that his fathers' heart was beating.

His heart's beating, Connor thought. That can't be right, Angel's a vampire. A vampire standing in a sun filled kitchen slicing fruit. This can't be right, Connor thought.

Angel saw the look of confusion on the young man's face and guessed what had caused it. "I'm human, now."

"I noticed. When did that happen?"

"After the final battle with Wolfram and Hart."

"Good for you."

Their taciturn tendencies made Buffy wonder if the conversation would progress to anything resembling constructiveness. They stood there staring at each other for a long time. They probably wouldn't have moved for a few more minutes if Buffy had not cleared her throat.

"I'm Buffy." Extending her hand, the young man shook it with a grin. The grin widened to a smile as he looked at her. Buffy's eyes narrowed at that look. She did not want to know what he was thinking, she decided. That look could not mean good things.

"Cordy told me about you. She didn't tell me you were this beautiful. And…uh…congratulations."

Angel scowled at the flattery of his girlfriend. His son had turned into Casanova, he reflected wryly. He waited for Connor to turn back to him when Buffy said nothing in return to his compliment. Angel was not going to be the first to speak, he vowed.

Connor had no problem speaking first. "So…make up your mind, why don't you. I mean, you either want me to remember what I was or you don't. Stop fucking around."

"Watch your language."

"Don't tell me to watch my language, I'm not thirteen. Seriously, don't erase my memories again; this yo-yo thing is not healthy."

"You don't seem any worse for it."

Connor took a deep breath. They weren't getting anywhere. He briefly thought about hitting Angel. That had been the plan when he first collapsed in his apartment after a bright blue wave of light hit him. When he had been able to think again, he decided he would track Angel down and beat the living hell out of him.

It had taken him most of the afternoon to find out where Angel lived. He wasn't listed in the phone book, and Wolfram and Hart would not give out that information. The witch he went to in Santa Monica said that she would need something that once belonged to Angel in order to do a locating spell. Reluctantly, Connor had admitted that he was Angel's son, but didn't have anything else that Angel once had. The witch said that Connor was good enough, and had used him to do the spell.

It had taken Connor most of the night to get up the courage to go find his father. The memories were still raw. He also remembered getting his memories the first time. What had happened to erase them again, he wondered. Did Angel get nervous for his sanity yet again? He hadn't thought he had done anything to warrant those concerns.

Driving into the hills, he had planned to hit Angel a few times, and yell a little, and then leave. It wasn't fair to continually toy with his reality. Connor needed to know, for sure, that he was going to keep the knowledge of who he had been in his past life.

"Are you going to mind-wipe me again or not?"

"No."

"Good." Turning on his heel, he headed for the door but was stopped by a very irate looking slayer. He couldn't bring himself to push a pregnant woman out of his way, so he crossed his arms and tried to look menacing. She laughed at him.

"Yeah, that look doesn't work on me. Especially since you're just about as cute as a kitten. Turn around before I turn you around. Now."

He thought about going for the door for a second and then realized she could probably take him, pregnant and all. He hadn't really been training during the past four years. He had played around a little in a gym, but he hadn't gotten serious. Buffy looked like she took her training very seriously.

There had been inklings. The few times he had trained seriously, he had felt as if he had never been alive before that moment. Playing football and hockey had come as second nature, but he had to be careful not to hurt other players. His teammates often joked he wasn't made of much, but what he was made of was all power. His slight build did not betray the power he knew lurked just under the surface.

His parents knew nothing of their son's instincts, his senses. He had never told them and didn't plan to. In his fake memories, he had taken martial arts classes as a child, up until he was sixteen. He had always explained away his acute knowledge of how the body could move in a fight with those classes. Now, he knew there were no martial arts classes.

Last year, he had gone to the bar for his twenty-first birthday. His friends had started a fight with two big guys, and even half drunk, Connor had floored them before they could think about throwing another punch. They had all laughed nervously afterward, and no one ever brought it up again. It was too weird to think about. Or, it had been too weird to think about. Now, he knew the real explanation behind his prowess.

"Totally human? No more blood or fangs?"

"Not totally. I have my senses, my strength. All the good things about being a vampire and all the good things about being a human. The scientists call us hybrids."

"You're like me?" The words were out of his mouth before he had truly thought about what he was saying.

Angels' throat closed a little. His son was in front of him, his brain kept repeating. He wanted to hug him, to hear everything Connor had done and been through since he had last seen him. Finally, he made himself speak. It was time to be honest, he told himself.

"Yeah, I'm like you. Connor…I won't erase your memories again. I just wanted…I just wanted you to have a life. A real life. I could never give you that. If you want to remember, that's fine. I'll respect that."

Nodding, Connor wondered at the man in front of him. Angel had always been strange, but this man was different in ways he couldn't explain to himself. The woman behind him was odd too. His senses told him she was human, but he could sense a power inside her that was anything but human. He wondered about he baby inside of her that was making his senses tingle. That baby wasn't human, not entirely. Connor thought briefly that his half sibling would be like him, not quite human.

"I want to remember. It's important I remember. It explains a lot."

Wanting to continue their conversation, Angel motioned to the living room and they moved to the couches. Angel sat in an overstuffed armchair, Connor sat on the couch. They only looked at each for a moment, Connor was still deciding if he liked the older man in front of him. He was having a hard time reconciling the man he had known with the man he was speaking to now.

Angel was the first to break the silence. "What do the memories explain?"

"I feel alive when I fight. More alive than I feel any other time. It's like I'm asleep through life and then I just wake up and everything makes sense. Anyway, I haven't been training lately; I've been kind of busy. When I did, though, it was like nothing else mattered. Now I know why I feel like that. I was born a warrior."

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Angel drew a slow breath before answering. "You aren't just a warrior, Connor. You're more than that."

Shaking his head, Connor replied, "I know I'm not a killing machine, but I was born to swing a sword. I know that for sure."

"So what are you going to do now? Now that you remember?"

"I'm going to kill demons. I'll start training again, I'll patrol. I want to do all that, but I still want to live my life. I have a girlfriend, I have a family, I have a job. I need to keep all that going. You know? Like, I have a secret life now. But…it makes more sense to me now, too."

Nodding, Angel wondered what he was going to do with his son. The younger man needed training, he didn't look combat ready. In addition to training, he needed someone to confide in. Angel knew Connor would not be able to lead a double life without confiding about it to anyone.

"Connor, you could train with me. With my friend Will. With Buffy, after the baby's born, if she agrees to it. You need to train with someone that has the strength to challenge you."

Connor considered that, but wasn't able to answer his father. The doorbell was ringing.