Chapter 28

"And then, looking like drowned rats and smelling like something out of a land fill, we went back into the office."

Everyone was laughing, and Connor was starting to wonder who this man was, this man in the stories Will was telling. He wasn't sure he knew the man everyone was referring to as Angel. His memories of this man had no resemblance to the man in these stories. Will's stories were of a man filled with good intentions, a man with a dead pan sense of humor, and a fear of disappointing others.

Connor was starting to reconsider his feelings towards his father. The more time he spent with these people, the more he seemed to like them. This was dangerous, he thought.

"We have to go to work. We can't stay here all day, as much as I would enjoy that." Standing, Xander took the pause in laughter as a sign to start clearing the table.

Dawn wiped her eyes, which had started to tear she was laughing so hard, and stood to help Xander. Will had started to ask Connor about college again, and was sitting next to Gunn and Wesley, listening with rapt attention to Connor's stories about his life. They wanted to know everything that had been created on his behalf. It was fascinating to them, the family and life that Connor lived since having reality altered.

Angel snuck upstairs when he thought no one was looking; Buffy was close on his heals. When the bedroom door was closed and Angel started pulling clothes from the closet, Buffy sat down, having previously dressed.

"What now, Angel? What are you going to do with him?"

"I don't know. I think that's up to him. I mean, if he wants me in his life, I that's great. I…would like that. I want to get to know him again. I want to know my son." Buttoning his shirt fully, he tucked the eggplant colored top into his black pants.

"How will you do that? Can you two just go for lunch, or something?" Leaning on her elbows, she lifted her feet into the air, one by one, as Angel slid shoes onto her feet. She had reached twenty-seven weeks, and although she could get her shoes on, she appreciated Angel's help.

He kept his hand on her belly after he helped her with her shoes. The extra weight, which she seemed to carry all in her stomach, looked huge on her tiny frame. Breathing deeply, he wondered about the little baby inside her that had saved her life. He wasn't sure what he had created with the slayer, but he was sure his second son wouldn't be entirely like the first.

"I don't know how to approach him. He seems…okay, you know? I mean, he was laughing and joking and looks like he's taking this all in stride. But it'll be hard. I don't know him and I know I'm a different person than I was when he was a teenager. I don't know if he'll like me."

Setting her hand on top of his, she tugged him down to sit beside her and kept his hand on her belly. The baby inside of her was kicking, and they sat together for a while, feeling his movements. Laughing at Angel's amazed face; she touched the side of his face with her free hand.

"Angel, you are a wonderful person. You help so many people, and you work so hard. You're different, sure, but in good ways. You're a little less broody and lot less fangy. Those are good things. You two can be friends, I'm sure of it. He's your son."

"It's not that easy, Buffy." Rising from the bed, he started pacing the room. "We have a bad history. I never knew him before he was sixteen, and then…he wasn't adjusted and I wasn't a great father. We fought a lot. I just…I just he gives me a second chance."

Buffy was about to say something, but stopped herself when Angel's head cocked oddly. He was hearing something she couldn't, and she waited for him to refocus on her before she spoke. Noticing his frown, she stood. Without having to say a word to one another, they started downstairs. Buffy knew that Angel had caught part of a conversation he wanted to be involved in, and she would have to wait to continue their conversation. There was no distracting Angel once he was on a case. Coming down the stairs, they heard the last part of Wesley's sentence.

"…that was the only word I could think of to open it."

"It could have been a phrase, not just a word." Gunn pointed out.

"Knowing Angel, though, it would have been one word."

Angel cleared his throat to announce his presence. He hated being talked about when he was in earshot. Narrowing his gaze and crossing his arms across his chest he looked to Wesley. "What are you talking about?"

It was Wesley's turn to clear his throat. "The password. How I knew it. I was explaining how I was able to open the book containing Connor and our memories."

Fred was the first to admit the full lengths of their conversation. "'Cordy?' You used the name 'Cordy' as your password? Angel…that's…."

Gunn cut her off. "A little obsessive. Unhealthy obsessive."

Angel had wanted to believe that this had not been the conversation he overheard. He had heard Connor's name in the same statement as a the phrase 'memory book' from Gunn, but hadn't really wanted to believe that Wesley would reveal the password that opened the book.

Buffy looked a little stricken. She was quick to hide her surprise, and perhaps dismay, that it was Cordy who was the key to the memories of Connor. Taking a seat on the couch next to Dawn, she decided to keep quiet and listen as Angel was called on the carpet again.

He paused for a few moments. Connor was staring, wide eyed and expectant. Fred and Gunn looked upset, and the others looked confused. Except for Wesley, of course, Angel thought. Wesley wore a very carefully blank expression. He was good at those when he wanted to be.

"Yeah, I used her name." When the others realized that he wasn't going to say anymore, Gunn piped it.

"Why? Why Cordy? I mean…I don't want to pry or anything…" Gunn quickly became quiet again. He had never reconciled within his own mind whether or not Angel and Cordelia had been romantically involved. He had known, years ago, that his boss and friend had feelings for the girl, but he had never known if anything had come of it. Lorne had assured him nothing had happened, but Fred had always believed the two harbored mutual feelings.

Fred was staring at the floor. She had thought Cordy liked Angel, as more than a friend, when they had worked out of the hotel downtown. Cordy had loved Connor as her own when he was a baby and she had cared for Angel deeply, but Fred was never sure if their gentleness with one another had progressed to more. Cordy had always sworn it hadn't, but Cordy was a good actress when she wanted to be.

"She…she was a good friend. And she was very good with Connor. And…the history. All that. It seemed right." He did not want them reading this much into it. Angel could see that Gunn was already jumping to conclusions and Fred was carefully avoiding his stare. Lorne had accused him more than once of being in love with his seer, but that was a moot point now, he told himself.

His feelings for a dead woman, feelings he may have felt years ago, did not matter now. Angel feared that Buffy would get the wrong idea about him and Cordy. He was in love with his pregnant girlfriend, he knew that. There was no question in his mind that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Buffy. He did not need the memories he had of Cordy interfering with that, he told himself.

"Look…she was a good friend. My best friend. And she died. I got sad. I wanted to remember her, and this seemed like a good way. And I thought no one would think of that password. At least none of my enemies thought of it, anyway."

No one really looked satisfied at that answer. Xander was trying to look nonjudgmental and failing, and Dawn just seemed a little confused. Connor kept quiet. He remembered Cordy, but not in very good ways. He had seen pictures of her holding him as a baby, and he remembered the woman that had slept with him and given birth to hell god. Beyond those memories, he wasn't sure what he felt for Cordy.

She had been a mother to him, and then a paramour, and then an enemy. She had driven him man and poisoned his mind. He knew that the woman he had known for many months after her return from the higher planes had not been Cordelia. Cordy was good and sweet and kind. The woman he had slept with was evil and manipulative. Knowing this, he was unsure how he really felt about her. Had the planes brought out her worse sides, or had that been another person entirely? He was never able to answer that question for himself satisfactorily.

Looking at clock, Angel ran a hand through his hair. "We have to go to the office. The world is going to sink into a black hole if we keep taking off work. We can discuss this later."

Connor left first, headed to his girlfriend's house. He had taken the day off of work, and he felt he needed the Katherine's normalcy. She was a calming part o his life, and he looked forward to spending the rest of his Monday with her.

Fred gathered Allison from the nursery and bundled her into the car. Wesley and she had taken separate vehicles so she could return home with her baby. She didn't wait for the others to leave; she simply kissed her husband and started for home. She wanted to be alone with her memories for a while.

The procession into the parking lot of Wolfram and Hart was impressive. They entered the building in a wave, and Angel mussed that they must have appeared quite formidable. Separating to go to their private offices, Angel was deep in thought as he picked up his messages from his secretary. He listened with only one ear as she rattled off his rearranged appointments and commitments for the rest of the day.

Sighing, he made his way the few feet to his office. Opening the door, he managed to close it and almost reach his desk when the elevator to his private apartment opened.

Immediately dropping into a fighting stance and wondering who could have gained access to that part of the building without his authorization, his heart stopped when he saw the woman in front of him.

She was wearing the black pants she had been buried in and one of his undershirts. She was braless and barefoot and her face was sun burnt. Smiling at him, she leaned against the wall.

"Either hit me or put your fists down, Angel. You look silly just standing there like that."

His brain refused to believe what his eyes were seeing. Cordelia was standing in his office.