Chapter 30

He had to lick his lips a few times and take many deep breaths before he could speak. "Cordy…" Her name came out as a whisper.

"Yeah, big guy. It's me." She walked to the couch and sat down. Waving her arm at him, she motioned for him to sit down.

He sat next to her with more than a little trepidation. He wondered if this was another visit from the dead, or if she was on this plane for some reason. She looked a little the worse for wear, and he wasn't sure she would be wearing his sleeveless undershirt if she had a choice to wear anything else. He doubted she was here of her own will.

Releasing a long breath, she put her elbows on her knees and her chin on her fist. There was the same amused expression he had seen so often on her face now, and he was dragged down into memories he had thought he left behind long ago.

"I made a big mistake. Well, I didn't think it as a mistake, but I guess the Powers did. They kicked me out." She looked towards him with a sad smile and let that bit of information take full effect.

Leaning back, Angel tried to keep a passive look on his face, but he was more than a little shocked. He could not imagine what was so terrible to warrant Cordy being kicked out of the higher planes.

"What happened?"

She thought long and hard about she was about to say. Angel was sensitive and she doubted that he had given much thought to the vision he had been sent. He probably hadn't had any time to really think about it. "I saw you. When you were yelling at the Powers, asking me to send you a sign. I heard you and I did. I wasn't supposed to see you or interact with you in any way. They forbid me from having any contact with you at all, in fact. So, when I sent you a vision, they got mad. I wasn't supposed to do that."

He nodded slowly. He had gotten Cordy kicked out of her ascended plane. Keeping his features calm, he swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "You're back for good? I mean, they won't let you back in at all? We could try…"

"It's no use. I knew the rules and I chose to break them. I saw Fred and Allie and I just….I didn't think The Powers would send you guys a sign in time. I don't know if they would have sent one at all…" She paused and started studying her finger nails intently.

Angel did not miss the underlying meaning of her words. "Why would they let that baby die? What could make them want her dead; especially when her death would have meant the deaths of dozens, maybe hundreds, if that hell god had gotten into our dimension with full strength? Why would they do that?"

Standing, she started pacing the office. She knew she shouldn't tell Angel any more. He shouldn't know about Allie or his own baby, she thought. Knowing the amount of knowledge she had was dangerous, she wondered what the repercussions would be if she started telling people what she knew. The Powers hadn't erased her memory this time, so perhaps they had left the memories intact for a reason, she thought. Perhaps they wanted her to know, Cordy reasoned.

"She should never have been born. I know Fred loves her with all of her soul, and so does Wesley. They are going to be great parents. It's just…she wasn't supposed to exist. There was a plan for those two to have a baby, I know there was. But…Wes didn't wait. I don't blame him, really, but it was a mistake. A mistake of the biggest proportions.

Allie shouldn't exist, and her death would have been a way to balance out he scales that have been tipped too much to one side. It's all about balance, you know that. Wes unbalanced the scale with his baby. She isn't just human. She's special. She has a very special future in front of her, now that she's going to live.

But…she wasn't supposed to live. There are plans for her…but they were alternate plans. Plan B, you know? Plan A was her death. So…I didn't think they would send a message. I couldn't have that. I couldn't let an innocent baby die because Wesley wanted Fred to be happy. That isn't fair."

She had stopped pacing somewhere in the middle of her explanation and had leaned against Angel's desk. He sat, motionless, taking in what he was hearing. Cordy knew Allie's future, he thought, at least a bit of it. He wanted to ask her about his child, about the baby inside Buffy. He knew Cordy would know something about both his sons, but he decided to hold his tongue about them for the time being.

"Okay…so you're back. You're alive. What do you want to do now? You need a place to stay, you'll need…everything. We'll figure something out, ID wise, since, you know, you're dead. Umm…other than that, where do we go from here?"

"I'm not sure. I really don't know, Angel. I'm sure not everyone will be happy I'm alive. I mean, this throws a human size monkey wrench into your life. You're gonna be a dad…again. And the woman of your dreams is here and your son is back in your life. I just don't want to be a burden. You finally have things going okay, and now I show up. I just…don't know how I feel about all that."

He sat quietly for a few minutes. He knew Buffy was not happy to find out that he used Cordy's name as his password to Connor's life-book. Cordy had always been a soft spot for Buffy, and he wasn't sure how his slayer would react to the seer's return. He was also unsure of Connor's reaction. Angel was sure Connor didn't have the best memories of Cordy in the forefront of his mind.

"Cordy…it will be okay. I mean, we can't just throw you away. None of us would want that. I'm…well, I'm glad you're here. I could use the help, I think. And the others will be thrilled. Buffy will come around, she'll see who you really are. It will all work out, I'm positive of that."

He nodded forcefully, trying more to convince himself rather than Cordy of the veracity of his words. Inside, he had to admit that he wasn't sure how everyone would react to Cordy being back in their lives. She had been gone for so long. For a long time, Angel hadn't been able to imagine life without his seer; now, he found that he couldn't imagine life with her. She was a blast from the past that he had not expected.

Knowing that he could never turn her away, he started planning how they would go about making her a life. There was a death certificate for Cordelia Chase, and he wasn't sure she would welcome going back to that name. Her parents, for sure, would not deal well with the fact that their daughter was alive and well. Cordy would need a new identity all together.

"We'll get you a new name, a new ID. You can start over, again. And…if you want to tell people, I get that. If you need time, I mean."

Nodding, she considered the possibility of trying to acclimate herself before she jumped back into everyone's life. They might be hurt, she recognized, but they would understand her need to adjust before confronting her new life full on. Sighing, she leaned back and tried to give Angel a reassuring smile.

"I need a place to stay. Your apartment is nice, but probably not the best place to be if I want to be out of sight for a while. And I'll need clothes. You have a wonderful collection of underwear, but it's not exactly chic right now." Her smile widened as she saw his eyes lighten.

He was happy she sounded like Cordy again. As much as she changed, she always stayed the same. Standing, he handed her the cell phone in his pocket and went to get a phone book from his cabinet.

"Order something for now. Something that can be delivered to an apartment. We'll get you situated and then you can go and get a real wardrobe. How does Olympic Boulevard sound? Until we can get you a real place, anyway. I know a landlord, he keeps a really nice little complex there."

He watched he eyes widen a little as he handed her the phonebook and his credit card. She had watched him over the years, but she hadn't really appreciated the man he had turned into. He was more decisive now, more sure of himself. Or at least he faked it well, she thought.

Ordering clothes and calling a car didn't take her too long. Angel made one call to the landlord and she was guaranteed an apartment. It would take a few hours to have it furnished, he explained, but she could be in her own place by the time everyone had left the office for the day.

She was impressed with the speed at which things moved for Angel. He called one furniture store and had the entire apartment outfitted within hours. They emptied their store rooms to fill her temporary home. It was amazing, she thought, what money could buy.

By the time Angel had to leave the office, he had assured her that she would have a place to sleep and shower in comfort. There would be a driver waiting for her on the curb to take her to her apartment, he said, and there would also be one waiting for her in the morning. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure she was comfortable and taken care of until she was ready to get back on her feet.

Cordy kissed his cheek when he left the office and went upstairs to lounge and collect the few things that tell anyone of her presence there. The drive would be short, and she would greeted by an unfamiliar place when she reached her destination, but at least she had somewhere to go, she reflected. It would be awkward, starting a new life, but she knew she was resourceful enough to survive even this.

Her apartment was furnished nicely, not the way she would have wanted it, of course, but she figured it was tolerable until she could remedy the situation. The sheets were packaged and sitting on the bed along with half a dozen bags filled with clothes. Not bothering to put anything away, she made the bed, changed into the boxers she had borrowed from Angel and curled up on the couch.

She was sure there was a lot of news that she had missed during her fight to help save the world. There hadn't been time for E! Entertainment in the higher planes. She had enough of death and decay and bloodshed, she thought, it was time for some red carpet flashbacks.

Leaning her head on the arm of the couch, she sighed and finally let the pain wash over her. Even as she snickered at some of the ridiculous fashions people seemed to be wearing, her eyes were watering and blurring. Her life had changed so drastically, so quickly.

Wiping her eyes, she took a breath. There would be time to grieve later, she thought. Now was the time to prepare for what was about to happen. Having been privy to a few details about the future, she knew that there was not going to be any time to comfort herself.

People were going to die in the morning.