Roger

Angel was like the big brother I never had. I mean, Angel was like the big sister I never had. Hell, Angel was like everything I never had. She gave me some of the best advice out of anyone I ever knew. She didn't know April, but she helped me get over her, she helped me be open to love Mimi. But now, she's gone. I for one am going to miss her. Her quirky outfits, the way she called me sugar all the time, the way she could break into a locked door and wear heels all in the same day all made Angel who she was. An amazing person.

Now, I know all lives have to come to an end, and I realize that it's inevitable, but why her? Who ever would have thought that she would be the first out of all of us to…die? A person with a heart as kind as Angel's heart was doesn't die…it's not fair. But apparently fairness has nothing to do with it because she did die…The pain and suffering she went through in those last days makes me sick to my stomach. I'm a writer and I can't even put to words what that pain did to me…well, maybe I can: it made me leave Mimi.

I love Mimi, I really do, but I couldn't go through that again with her. Maybe it's that I love her too much and so the thought of losing her makes me weak. It's not just Mimi dying I'm worried about either, it's me. I can't try to hide it, I have AIDS. One day, I'm probably gonna die…and it may be some day soon. The hurt in Collins eyes during Angel's last days was enough to bring me to tears. I couldn't make Mimi go through that, I just could not. So, that's why I have to go. Not because I hate her, or because I'm running away from my problems, but because I can't hurt her—or get hurt—anymore.

Angel and I weren't as close as I wish we could've been but we were really close…and it was nice. I remember one time in particular…

"Ugh, now Angel, why did you decide to bring me, Roger Davis, shopping with you?"

Angel smiled and handed Roger another skirt that she'd try on later. "Because silly; Mimi couldn't come, Collins has to teach, and Mark said you needed to get out today. So, I got you out!"

"Yeah, and remind me to kill Mark for that, okay?"

"Uh huh, sure whatever…" Angel picked up dress on a hanger and looked at herself in it. "Hey Rog, what do you thing of this?"

"Umm, are you serious?"

"Yes I'm serious sugar! Now just imagine I'm Meems or something…"

"Well if you were Meems, I'd tell you that makes you look like a slut," Roger replied nonchalantly.

Angel gasped, "You call my chica a slut?!"

"No, not her, just some of the stuff she wears…what's the big deal?" Roger asked defensively.

"The 'big deal'," Angel said using air quotes, "is that you don't call a girl a slut!"

"But…" Roger didn't finish his sentence because Angel punched him in his arm. Hard. "Fuck Angel! What was that for? You know…if you were a boy, I'd so hit you right now for that."

"Sweetie, I'm just as much of a man as you are…well not maybe on the inside, but I am. Go ahead, try and hit me."

Roger seemed to contemplate this option for a while before deciding against it. "No, Collins would murder me if I laid a finger on you."

Angel smiled as she thought about her big, strong, black man. "Yeah, you're right…now back to this name calling…come on; we need to have a talk." Angel grabbed Roger's ear and the two left the store they were in, leaving all the clothes Angel had previously looked at on the floor.

"Ow, Ang, let go of my ear! I'm not some little kid! Ughh, you're hurting me!"

"I have to stretch out your ear… 'Cause we're going back to the loft to talk, and I need to make sure you actually hear me talking to you."

Roger wanted to argue, but he knew it would be a loosing case with Angel. "Fine," he grumbled mainly to himself.

The two got to the loft about 15 minutes later and sure enough, Angel still had Roger's ear in the death grip.

"So, can you hear me now?" Roger nodded. "Good! Now, Roger, calling any girl, any name other than the one her mother and father gave her is not something you do!"

"Ang, she knows I'm kidding!"

"Really Roger? Does she? How come she's always over Collin's and my house crying? Since she knows you're kidding and all…"

"She comes over here crying? I never mean to make her cry Angel, really, I never do…"

Angel smiled and ruffled Roger's hair. "Oh sugar I know you don't…you love her. You could never mean to hurt her."

"How do you know I love her?!"

"You don't?"

"Well…I dunno…"

"Exactly. Now when are you gonna tell her this?"

"She wouldn't believe me…plus how could she love me, I make her cry."

"I know for a fact that she loves you sugar…maybe even more than life itself. I've known Mimi since we were little, little kids and I've tried to get her off those drugs since she started them. But you wanna know something Roger? It was you coming around that made her stop. Not me, not her mother, not any other boyfriend that she's ever had…but you. Now, that's what I call love."

"You know Angel, you give some good advice. You're kinda like the older sister I always wanted…and the older brother I never wanted. You know, my ear and my arm still hurts…"

"Oh Roger, don't be so melodramatic. Man up sugar!"

Whenever I think about those words now, I smile. But then I always get depressed too, because Mimi loves me more than life itself, Angel said so herself…and I love her more than life itself too. I'd do anything for that woman. Anything at all. That's why I have to move. It's the best for both of us…maybe if we forget about each other, we can try and live normal lives again. Maybe…I don't know. I just don't know anymore…sometimes though, I wish I did.

I should probably go up there and say something. After all Angel's done for me, it's the only right thing to do. But what would I say? You know what…maybe I'll just say what's on my heart. She was always on me for stuff like that…maybe I can do it this once, just for her.

"It's odd…thinking of death and Angel in the same sentence. She was full of so much life. In her little body she packed so much love, joy, advice, happiness…not to mention a mean left hook. But I guess, we shouldn't really think of it as death, but as a new birth, a new life. Angel is up with her people now; she's finally with the angels. I'm gonna miss her…I'm sure we all will. But she's in a better place…that's all that matters…she can be free at last.

Love? Hate? Didn't feel it conveyed enough emotion? Was Roger too OOC in this? Was Angel? Wellll, review! That's the only way I'll be able to tell what you think!!