Chapter Nine

A Bad Dream

Daffy was sound asleep on the den couch. Suddenly, a bright flash of light woke him up! Bugs Bunny pulled up the window shade, and grabbed the duck. "Daffy, terrible news!" he told Daffy. "Pixar is gonna do a rip-off of us Looney Tunes!"

"WHAT?" Daffy screamed.

"I'm afraid it's true," Wile E. Coyote sadly said. He held up a newspaper. It said "PIXAR'S 'BUTCH BUNNY' EXPECTED TO BE A BIG HIT."

Daffy scanned the headline. "Oh my God," he said, "I'm being ripped off as 'Dudley Duck' and will be voiced by John Ratzenberger!"

"And my fake identity will be performed by some dumb actor named Tom Cruise!" Bugs complained.

Wile E. added, "And it says here that my rip-off ego is named Cunn E. Coyote and will be voiced by J.C. Chasez."

Daffy said, "But that's an N'Sync member! I thought they broke up years ago."

"Actually, Daffy, N'Sync reunited last night, when they announced da new movie," Bugs told him."

"Also," the coyote noted, "J.C. Chasez once dressed up like Scooby-Doo. So he's had some experience impersonating a cartoon character!"

"Let me see that article," Daffy said, grabbing the newspaper out of Wile E's paws. He scanned it quickly and shouted, "Oh no! It's going to come out in theaters TODAY!"

"That's impossible," Wile E. gasped. He read the article and found it out. "Oh no, it IS being released today! We've got to stop it! But we have to work fast."

"To da Looney-mobile!" Bugs joked.

…

At Pixar, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester and Wile E. rounded up Porky Pig, Tweety, Speedy Gonzales, Marvin the Martian, the Tasmanian Devil, Pepe Le Pew, Gossamer, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn and others, and they charged into the building.

"OH NO!" the manager of Pixar shouted.

"Listen, bub," Daffy nastily told the manager. "You've ruined my life. You've crippled the Looney Tunes. And NOW you rip us off? THIS IS WAR!"

The man got out a walkie-talkie and shouted into it, "Code red! Code red! The Looney Tunes got wise about our new movie!"

Two big burly guards chased after the WB characters, but then had them cornered in a dead end.

…

Within minutes, the Looney Tunes were locked in a jail cell in the basements of Pixar Animation Studios. "Wait until I tell the media about Pixar's dungeon," Wile E. muttered to himself.

Daffy angrily said, "They can't get away with this. I'm going to escape. Help me here, Bugs."

"Eh, sure thing, duck!" Bugs began burrowing downward and Daffy followed. Soon, they were out of the cell! "You're on your own now," Bugs told Daffy, going back through the hole into the dungeon cell.

As Daffy walked down the corridors, he saw tons of classic cartoon characters locked in cells throughout the dungeon. One had Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Winnie-the-Pooh and other classic Disney characters, and another had Tom, Jerry, Droopy, Red Hot Riding Hood, Screwy Squirrel, various wolves and George and Junior in it. And then another cell contained Betty Boop, Popeye, Olive Oyl, Bluto, Little Lulu, Little Audrey, Baby Huey and Bimbo. Another cell had Mighty Mouse, Heckle and Jeckle, Dinky Duck, Sidney the Elephant, Gabby Goose and other Terrytoons. And yet another had Woody Woodpecker, Andy Panda, Chilly Willy, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Wally Walrus and some other Walter Lantz characters. Daffy shuddered at the sight of this.

He found a door at the end of the hallway. For some reason he began to feel a little smaller. He opened the door and found…

The boss of Pixar was sitting on a throne and wearing a crown, and a bunch of people were swimming in a huge pile of money! "Yes! Our 'Butch Bunny' is the biggest success yet!" the boss cried out. "It's made $300 million at box-office, and just on its first day!"

"NOT SO FAST!" Daffy hollered. "You ripped off us Looney Tunes, and now I'm going to sue you! Remember the whole 'Little Man' incident?"

The boss said, "Oh, WE were originally going to make 'Little Man,' but then we switched over to 'Cars' instead. Ever since we beat your pathetic little home movie, 'Looney Tunes Back in Action' four years ago, we've been longing to make you Looney Tunes unpopular again! So we decided to do a rip-off!"

"AHA!" Daffy shouted out. "So you ARE plotting to rebel against me! Wait until I tell Bugs and Wile E. about this!" As he said this, he was beginning to get a little smaller.

"Face it," the king laughed. "It's no longer 1955. 2-D animation is out, and CGI is in! So are action-adventure cartoons. That's why we had the Loonatics guest-star in this movie! Now to make you EXTINCT."

Daffy was now very small. "Hey! What happened?" he shrieked. "I'm tiny!" Now the boss grabbed the tiny Daffy by the tail feathers, and a woman in shackles got out a huge canister with weird green liquid in it. "DIP?" Daffy was shocked. "I thought that only existed in 'Roger Rabbit!' What are ya gonna do? NO! NO!" The boss let go of Daffy and dropped him into the dip, the duck screaming all the way. But he never splashed into the dip…

…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Daffy woke up screaming on the den couch. He was in a cold sweat, and his heart was racing. It was still dark outside.

Bugs and Wile E. burst into the room. "What's da big idea, Daffy?" Bugs asked. "It's 4:00 in de morning! Why did you scream?"

"Bugs! Coyote!" Daffy said in a tense manner. "What's Pixar's next movie? When's it coming out? Is N'Sync still together? Are Tom and Jerry in a dungeon?"

"Eh, I think you had a nightmare, duck," Bugs said.

"A nightmare?" Daffy asked. He laughed nervously. "Woo-hoo… it was just a nightmare, a dream, all of it was fake! Pixar doesn't have a dungeon! There's no Butch Bunny!"

Sylvester walked in yawning. "What's going on? I heard a scream."

"Daffy had a nightmare," Wile E. told the cat.

"It was about Pixar! They were making a Looney Tunes rip-off and they locked us in a dungeon and I turned tiny and the boss was a king!" Daffy said.

Wile E. began to laugh at this.

"Dis is serious!" Bugs angrily told the coyote.

"Plus," Daffy added, "I hope this wasn't one of those prophetic dreams, the ones that predict the future!"

"Most likely not," Wile E. said. "Pixar's so successful they don't need to do a rip-off of Looney Tunes."

"OK," Sylvester told his friends. "I heard Cartoon Network now has their first live-action TV show! It's the end of the world!"

"Yes, but even though it has some animation in it, it is ruining Cartoon Network's image," Wile E. added. "They will also be showing 'Big Bad Beetleborgs' as well." He shuddered.

"Not the Beetleborgs!" Daffy was shocked. "I think we'll need some help on how to become popular anymore."

"And I know just who to call," the coyote said.

…

Within minutes, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester and Wile E. were meeting with the Scooby-Doo gang in the malt shop. The gang was wearing their outfits they've been using on "What's New, Scooby-Doo?" and Shaggy and Scooby were sharing a big meatball sub.

"OK," Daffy said. "How come you guys are still popular? You manage to let the Cartoon Network boss rerun your old shows, and Shaggy and Scooby have a new but admittedly crappy TV series, and you still make direct-to-video movies."

"Uh," Fred began. "Well, I can explain that. It's funny you should say that, because I…"

"Fred's been rather clueless since early this decade," Wile E. told his friends. "He's not as smart as he was anymore."

"Oh, I'm still smart enough to lead the gang!" Fred argued. "Uh, did we ever change the tires in the Mystery Machine?"

"Hey, I know you!" Shaggy said to Wile E. "You appeared in one of our TV episodes!"

"You DID?" Sylvester asked the coyote.

"Well, yes," Wile E. explained. "Since Scooby-Doo was now being produced by Termite Terrace, and in a last resort to get me in new material before they canceled 'Looney Tunes,' Sander Schwartz agreed to let me and the Road Runner make a cameo. It was in 'New Mexico, Old Monster.'"

"And we and Scooby appeared in your little 'Back in Action' film!" Shaggy added.

"Ryeah! We did!" Scooby said. Then he accidentally got some tomato sauce from his sub on Daphne's all-purple dress.

Daphne gasped, "Ew! I just had my dress done!"

The coyote said, "And another thing, Daphne, lately you've become engrossed by your hair and clothes. Why is that?"

"It all comes from working on 'A Pup Named Scooby-Doo' back in the late 1980s," Daphne explained.

"I also know something you can do with today's Scooby-Doo gang," Bugs told Wile E. Then he said to the gang, "Scrappy-Doo!"

Shaggy screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAH! WHERE? WHERE?"

Velma and Daphne clutched each other. "Where is Scrappy?" Velma asked in a worried tone.

"Hey, you two must be in love with each other!" Daffy laughed.

Velma angrily told the duck, "Don't believe those nasty Internet rumors about us, as well as the ones about Shaggy being a drug-user."

"Right!" Shaggy agreed. "I'm perfectly clean!"

Scooby added, "Me too!"

"Let's just get out of here," Sylvester said.

…

As they were on the bus back to Wile E's house, Bugs said, "Well, dat didn't work out de way we hoped it would."

"It just goes to show how different the Scooby-Doo gang is than they were back in 1970," Wile E. Coyote said to his friends.

"Agreed." Daffy said. "Now let's just get home and pretend this whole nightmare I had and the argument with the Scooby gang never happened."