Hello! Sorry abou the wait, been really busy. First off, from now on every story will be updated every two weeks, along with a one-shot. For example, this week I completed "Neji the Hentai" and wrote another chapter for this. Next week, I'll be writing a Lee/Sakura one-shot and the next chapter for "Rock Lee's Guide". And then, the week after that, chapter 7 will be here!
Hey! I was wondering if anyone would like to Beta my story. Although I'm okay editing it on my own, sometimes my computer has trouble and/or I make careless typos. If you want to Beta, then PM me. If you'll be my Beta, I'll be your Beta:)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I don't own any of its characters, because Masashi Kishimoto does... -sigh-
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Shino's Birthday
Tuesday: Secret Asian Man
"Hey, Bed Bug! Breakfast!"
Never call me that again, Father. After hearing his door shut, 'Bed Bug' reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his sunglasses. Slipping them on, he shoved off his bedcovers, crawled out of his bed, and sat on its edge. He considered the previous night's events. Let's see... I spent half the day with Kiba and Hinata, Kiba and Father teased me about Saria, teammates met Saria, ran into Naruto, Ino, and Chouji, and attended a restaurant with almost all of the rookies and watched two people I've barely spoken compete in a dance-off on Rainbow Night.
It's astounding I've maintained my sanity.
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Fully dressed and ready to start the day, Shino sauntered down the stairs leading to his sleeping quarters and entered the kitchen. To his utmost dismay, two people grinned at him; each for their own reasons. The first, his father, proudly set his masterpiece, some disfigured, steaming substance, before Shino's customary seat. And the second:
Saria.
Well, can't be too sure of maintaining my sanity now.
"Guess what, Shino?" Aburame Shibi asked, placing three glasses of orange juice on the table and seating himself. Lacking a response from Shino (he has it backwards: you're supposed to be cranky in the mornings, not happy), he continued. "Saria here was kind enough to purchase a foreign cookbook for us. I believe this is French toast!" he claimed proudly, gesturing to the supposedly edible substance on the three's plates.
Shino shook his head sadly, and was positive his food was jiggling. Prodding his 'toast' with his fork, he could've swore it gurgled. He sat down in between his self-invited guest and father. "Are the French savages?"
Shibi scowled, and poked him with the bottom end of his fork. "Hey, you never complain when I make bento! I'm just unaccustomed to this kind of cooking," he claimed in his defense. Shino had to admit - his father can whip up a mean bento.
"I know what you're saying, Shino," Saria interrupted, tucking her blonde locks behind her ears. "The French have things much better than, oh say, their food!" she exclaimed, wiggling her eyebrows and nudging his side with her elbow. As his father desperately restrained himself from exploding in hysterics, Shino's eyes bugged out and his glasses nearly toppled off his nose.
"I think I'll be leaving then," he declared, and practically flew out the door, not hearing his father call out, laughing all the while, "don't forget your girlfriend!"
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Storming out of his home, Shino headed in the direction of Hinata's residence; after all, he could always rant to her about the daily trials and tribulations of his life. Although he usually consults both his teammates, Shino figured that the content of Kiba's advice would be similar to Saria's jest during breakfast. As he traveled along the familiar route, he noticed two long arms wrap around his neck, and an uncomfortable pressure on his shoulders.
"Hey, Love Bug!" a female voice called.
Shino gasped for air, as the girl's forearms choking his neck wasn't improving his air supply.
Trying to remain composed, he spoke in a patient tone. "Saria, I appreciate having the ability to breathe."
Unlatching her arms, she strode next to him, making sure their shoulders brushed against each other's. "Sorry 'bout that, Shino. But you left without me!" she dramatically swept her brow with the back of her hand.
That was on purpose, Spawn of Satan. "My apologies, Saria. But, can you cease the theatrics?" Irritated, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and paced further ahead, praying she wouldn't follow. After five seconds of soothing solitude, the blonde skipped in front of him, grabbed his shoulders, and spun him in the opposite direction.
"Should I even ask -"
"You're going the wrong way, silly!" Saria shoved Shino's back with all her might, much to his confusion. "We're going to the amusement park!" she lowered her voice to a dull whisper, walked over and stood next to him. "From what I hear, there's this new attraction for couples and it's been very successful." Not giving Shino a choice in the matter, she linked arms with him and dashed in whatever direction her oversized heart desired.
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Just how I wanted to spend my day - frolicking about the amusement park with Saria. Shino grimaced, reflecting on the morning's events. At least he was rid of her for a few minutes, since she left to retrieve her wallet from home. Wait a second...
She's gone. She won't be back for a few minutes. And I saw Neji and Hinata walk into the convenience store, which is also a few minutes away. I need to speak to Hinata.
This left Shino with two options. One: he would remain sitting on this bench and, later, spend the day with Saria at the amusement park. Two: ditch the love-stricken girl and look for Neji and Hinata at the market. Although he's grown accustomed to Saria's antics, he wouldn't be able to bear her flirtatious mannerisms for an entire afternoon; usually, he only spends a few hours of his day in her presence. And yet, he felt a twinge of remorse abandoning Saria for his other friends.
So, what would your average gentleman do? Shino evaluated the outcomes for each possibility, and decided to take a refreshing stroll...
To the market.
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It seemed apparent to Shino that Team Gai experienced sudden mood swings and shopped at the market every Tuesday. So far, he had, quite literally, run into a terrified, screaming Lee; a furious Tenten throwing invitation cards and various sharp objects in his direction; a suspicious-looking Gai-sensei, and he concluded nothing good could come from that; and an utterly lost Neji. But no Hinata...
"Shino. Hinata's teammate, correct?" he asked, scratching his chin and apparently deep in thought. Curiously, his Byakugan was activated. "She told me that I could find her in the produce section; can you tell me where that is?"
Shino nearly fell over. And here's the genius of the Hyuga clan? Well, he's no Shikamaru, that's for sure. "Neji - look behind you. Shouldn't your Byakugan be able to pick that up?" Neji's face screwed up in concentration, and had yet to pay Shino a passing glance.
"Oh. Right."
Whatever Neji was looking at, it must have been incredibly important. Almost instantly, Shino realized what he was trying to see; or rather, trying to see through. He tapped Hinata's cousin on the shoulder. "You better watch out, Neji. She's looking your way, and I can't say that the Byakugan isn't well-known." To think Hyugas were respectable...
Immediately, Neji switched off his Byakugan and directed his attention away from the scantily clad vixen. "If I hear any word of this getting out..." Shino smiled underneath his jacket's collar.
"Then I'll regret being Hinata's teammate, I know." Neji nodded, and followed Shino to the produce section. Soon enough, they met Shino's teammate paying for an assortment of fruits and vegetables. She waved shyly at them, scurrying over to them.
"H-hello, Neji, Shino." Hinata glanced at each of them, and then poked the tips of her fingers together, staring at her feet. Neji sighed, rolling his eyes. She really needs to cut this timidity.
"Good morning, youth of Konoha!" An unmistaken able voice rang out. Neji fought the sudden urge to run away - who knows what sort of insanity will he be forced to participate in, this time? The gay bar incident was bad enough.
"Hello, sensei," Neji muttered, ignoring the agitated stares in the group's direction. He was all too used to the attention, having Maito Gai as a teacher, Rock Lee as his clone, and Wasanabi Tenten, arguably the most bipolar kunoichi ever.
"Hello! It seems as though I have stumbled upon a most unaccommodating predicament!" Gai announced to the world, his arms flailing in the air in aggravation. After a few moments of attempting to rip his shiny, bowl-cut hair out, he pointed at his student. "Neji! You, your cousin, and your cousin's boyfriend are to help me spy on Lee and Tenten!"
"Boyfriend?" asked Shino.
"Boyfriend?" asked Hinata.
"BOYFRIEND?" screamed Neji. "Explain your reasoning!"
"Well, I don't know! I simply assumed it because they were standing next to each and they're teammates! Why else?" (1) Neji slapped his forehead, but now knew to keep a careful watch on that Aburame boy. You just never know with those quiet types. "Anyways, I've been noticing some peculiar behavior from Tenten and Lee, as of late. So, as I said, you three are to spy on those two and report back to me!"
Perhaps I should have stayed with Saria. Shino crossed his arms. "Report what?"
"Anything implying that, you know," he checked behind him to ascertain their absence, "THEY'RE IN LOVE!" Gai hollered, which resulted in all shoppers covering their ears, expecting some sort of earthquake or apocalyptic sign.
Neji snorted. "Oh, okay. So as long as we're not prying into their personal lives or anything," Shino and Hinata chuckled, although all three of them resented the new task at hand.
Gai shook his index finger at the three. "You'll understand when you're a Jonin. Now, I must be off! I have five hundred laps to run around Konoha! Goodbye!" Then, Gai disappeared in a poof of smoke.
Hinata, Neji, and Shino stared at each other for a long moment. Then, Neji spoke first. "Hinata, you head on back with the clan's groceries. Undoubtedly, they'll be worrying about you. If Hiashi-sama asks, then tell him I am training with my team. I will see you later, Hinata." Neji handed her the basket of groceries, and then waved to her.
"G-goodbye, Neji. We'll m-meet later for pr-practice, Shino!" With that, Hinata rushed off in the direction of the Hyuga mansion. Then, Neji turned to Shino.
What am I going to do now? Tell him to shove off, too? If Shino accompanies me to spy on those two idiots, then he might find out about his surprise party... what a mess... but, Gai-sensei will be expecting at least two of us to report back; one absence is explainable, but he wouldn't accept two. This is all so frustrating!
"Well, it seems as though we have no choice but to listen to my erratic sensei. He follows through with these plans, you see. Now, follow me to the Rock residence." Neji stalked off to the store's exit, but not before leaving Shino with one final comment:
"Touch my cousin and you die."
Shino glared. What have I done to deserve this?
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"Are they in your line of sight?"
"Nope. Don't see them."
"Ah. Let's move over here then. Wait - Neji not there!"
"Ouch! Damn blind spot. Don't-you-dare-say-anything, Bug Boy."
"Alright, I'll restrain myself."
"Idiot! Lower your voice! Someone's coming -"
"Who should be lowering their voice, then?" A harsh, deep voice inquired. The two intruders in the Rock villa glanced above them, discovering a lean man with his arms folded, tapping his foot patiently. Neji stood up first, brushing himself off.
"Hello. I'm Hyuga Neji, and this is Aburame Shino. We're friends of Lee, and we came to, uh, check on him." Neji lied smoothly, still staring at the mysterious man in shadows. The other laughed hollowly.
"Ah, so that loser has more friends?" The voice scoffed, and Neji instantly decided he loathed this man. "Who would have thought such a talent less ninja would have acquaintances from such clans supposedly on par with our prestige, such as the Hyugas and Aburames? Perhaps that's saying something about the clans themselves, hm?"
Shino jumped out from behind the tree, standing side-by-side with Neji. "That's out of line. Who are you to insult our families?"
"And Lee," Neji added, standing a bit taller.
"Since you are dying to know who I am, my name is Rock Tatsuo, or Lee's brother. Whichever you prefer. And I advise you two to watch your words whilst in my presence, as I am not someone to be taken lightly." He flipped on the light switch from inside the home. "Come in. I have an ANBU mission to attend to, so if you'll excuse me." Promptly, Tatsuo shoved Neji and Shino out of his way and stormed outside.
Neji stole another look at Tatsuo. To think Lee, arguably the biggest goof I know has such an ass for a brother. I remember Lee mentioning him a few times - to think he's only seventeen! He seems incredibly powerful... I wonder how Lee puts up with him? After exchanging eye contact with Shino, the two stepped inside.
Spending the first few minutes roaming through the massive household, they ran into who they assumed to be Lee's mother. To their relief, she was much more personable than Tatsuo. She kindly pointed out that Lee and Tenten were at work outside, and they sneaked out to the backyard and hid behind some bushes. As they settled themselves, Neji activated his Byakugan once again. One of the abilities he picked up from its repeated use was to read lips. Whenever he noticed the conversation turning in Shino's direction, he knew that he must distract him or else the secret would be out.
For some reason they couldn't begin to fathom, Lee and Tenten were strangely quiet while at work. During this time, Shino started a conversation with Neji.
"So, what are they working on, anyways?" he asked, wondering why on earth they were decorating cards like eight-year-olds attending the Ninja Academy.
Neji flinched, hoping he wouldn't ask that question. "Um... I don't remember - but that's not important now! We're supposed to be spying, correct?" Neji stuttered, and soon berated himself for such a petty excuse. Shino nodded, although Neji's sudden change in demeanor vaguely interested him.
"So, Lee. Your mom seems pretty nice -" Neji and Shino leaned into the bushes, trying to pick up as much of the conversation as possible.
"Tenten! What she had said earlier was her own opinion! It was never spoken by me!" Lee replied, jumping out of his seat.
Shino's eyebrow rose. "Now I'm a bit curious..."
"Oh! So you don't think I'm pretty?" Tenten demanded, giving Lee that trademark glare.
Neji's eyes bugged out. "Very curious..."
"W-well, no! I think you're very pretty, just as my mother had said!" Neji, Lee, and Shino gasped simultaneously. "No!" Lee shouted. "Not that I told her! She just -"
"It's okay, Lee. I understand," Tenten muttered, turning as red as Lee.
Shino looked at Neji. "I feel strangely out of place, here." Neji chuckled despite himself, although he had greater things in mind. What am I going to do when the conversation DOES shift over to Shino? Nothing rhymes with 'Shino'…
"Let's just continue our work on Sh-"
"Fly!" Neji shouted the first thing that came to mind, tackling Shino in the process. In response, Shino shoved Neji off and glared at him.
"You ruined our cover because of a fly? I didn't expect you to be that idiotic." Neji leered at Shino, and opened his mouth to speak, but Lee beat him to it.
"I swore I just heard… but was it -"
"Neji…?" Tenten inquired. "But why would he be here?"
The dynamic duo's eyes widened. Neji gestured to the yard next to them. "Save yourself, Aburame!" he whispered hurriedly, watching Lee approach the bushes. Not hesitating, Shino crawled through the bushes and ended up in God knows where. Meanwhile, Neji felt an abrupt, yet painful sensation on his forehead. Looking up, he realized he bumped heads with Rock Lee.
And that was the beginning of Neji's grand day.
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Read and Review, please! I've been thinking about posting replies to everyone who reviews the most recent chapter, so... yeah! I was actually going to do it this chapter, but I'm incredibly busy with multi-tasking writing my story and completing my homework. Definitely next time, though!
(1) hahahaha! That cracked me up when I wrote that. It's pretty much the basic explanation for Certain Pairings Which Will Not Be Named AKA All of Them. :) Sorry, but it's the truth. But it's also what makes writing fun!
Next Time, on "Shino's Birthday": I really don't know! I'm stuck between two events, why don't you guys decide? I can't. For Wednesday:
- Kiba and Hinata go out and buy decorations/Not sure about what Shino will do in the following chapter. OR...
- Neji, Sakura, and Ino bake the cake! The next chapter, everyone but those three are invited to go to the amusement park by Saria :)
They'll both happen, but you can decide in which order.