Chapter 6 - Realization
Cameron lay, sprawled out on her comfortable bed, trying to not think about Chase. Over a month had passed since Chase had died, and Cameron's grief had not diminished one bit. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of him, especially at work. Cuddy had given the entire team bereavement leave, and had offered counseling to them all. Cameron was the only one still on leave, as House had only taken a few days off, and Foreman had not taken any, as he acted like nothing had changed. They all, however, had been present at Chase's funeral service, which had been held at the local Catholic Church. Wilson, House and Cuddy had all sat with Cameron, and Hose had even read about how great a doctor Chase had been.
Cameron was touched by how much her colleagues had looked after her, but the time had come when she had been frankly 'over it.' She knew they were worried that, she to, would take her own life, unable to cope without Chase at her side. In some ways, it was true. It was a struggle for Cameron to get up every morning, facing a life from which the young Australian Doctor was excluded from, and she felt consistently tired. Her entire body ached with a yeaning to see Chase again. Cameron slowly blinked her eyes. It was early in the morning, and she felt utterly miserable, bouts of nausea crushing over her body in waves that left her running for the toilet, heaving for breath as she repetitively vomited. Cameron groaned, leaning her pounding head against her bathroom cabinet, seeking the coolness of the hard service.
By that evening, Cameron was feeling marginally better, and was able to fake that she was quite well to Wilson, who dropped off some dinner. As he left, Cameron couldn't help but roll her eyes dramatically. House, Cuddy and Wilson seemed to think she was incapable of looking after herself, and so took it upon themselves to take turns in visiting her of an evening, and giving her a home made meal. With Wilson and Cuddy, it was good, because Cameron couldn't frankly be bothered to cook anything herself, but House's attempts left her feeling even worse, and more often or not, left her running towards the toilet, a hand clamped over her mouth. She shuddered at what House's cooking would do to her with her throwing up all morning, as the vomiting had only started that morning. Cameron quietly prayed to God that the vomiting would have ceased by the next morning.
God seemed to have been busy whenever Cameron tried to talk to him, because the nausea and vomiting continued on all week, and it was beginning to show. Cameron was loosing weight, and as she looked into her bathroom mirror after another bout of sickness, it was painfully obvious in her face. Cameron groaned. She knew House had noticed the previous night when he had delivered his meal to her, and he had made a point of sitting with her as she ate it, and for another hour afterwards, just to make sure she actually was eating it, and not throwing it right back up. Cameron was extremely grateful that the meal had been much better that what was usually provided by the older doctor, and she strongly suspected Wilson was behind it.
Each day that passed had become more of a struggle. Even the mere smells of foods, especially coffee, made her feel ill. Instead of feeling better, as Cameron had hoped, she had begun to feel worse. She found comfort in curling up on her couch with a blanket, and watching a good movie. The only bad thing was it made her miss Chase even more, as she remembered a similar evening, not long after she and Chase had started going out, where she had not been feeling well, and Chase had come round and let her lean against him as they had watched a movie, in the end both falling asleep before the movie had ended. Cameron sobbed at the memory. It just wasn't fair that Chase was gone. He'd never be there to comfort her; she'd never be able to snap at House for picking on Chase; she'd never be able to run her fingers lovingly through Chase's soft hair, and she would never again feel the warmth of Chase's body against hers. Cameron buried her face into the blankets and cried as the movie played in the background. Eventually, Cameron cried herself to sleep, the resounding grief she felt overwhelming her.
That evening, Wilson came around to Cameron's apartment, and was not surprised to see Cameron curled up on the couch, fast asleep. He took the opportunity to survey the young woman's face. House had been right; she did look thinner, especially around the face. Their were dark circles underneath her eyes, and tear stains running down her cheeks. Wilson sighed and pulled a scrap of paper towards him and scribbled a note to Cameron, before placing her dinner in her fridge, and heading for the exit. As he was leaving, however, Wilson looked at Cameron's coffee table, and noticed that a framed photograph of Cameron and Chase, taken at the previous years work Christmas party. Chase was wearing a Santa hat, and Cameron wore a pare of Reindeer Antlers. Wilson felt his eyes well up with tears once more. The young couple looked so blissfully happy in the photograph. Wilson shook his head, and quietly closed the door.
It was not long afterwards that Cameron woke up, her back aching from lying in such an awkward position for so long, and very hungry, as she had slept through lunch and breakfast was an unfathomable concept to her right now. Her eyes fell upon the coffee table, where she spotted Wilson's note, telling her that her dinner was in the fridge when she wanted it, and reminding her, for what felt like the millionth time, that if she needed to talk, he was available. Cameron rolled her eyes and prepared the meal, shoving it inside the microwave for two minutes. She ate, and then returned to her room, deciding that she may as well return to bed.
The next morning, Cameron awoke to feel nauseous already. Groaning, she got up and hurried to the bathroom, only just making it in time. She reached and vomited up everything in her stomach, and it didn't stop there. She coughed up some stomach acid, then just dry heaved, tears rolling down her face. Cameron was scared, scared of what was happening to her, scared of what she had become, scared about her future. She'd been away from work for so long, almost two months. It felt like her entire life, her entire body, had been turned upside down. Cameron scowled as she worked out figures. Her jaw dropped as realization dawned on her.
"Oh shit!" she gasped.
A.N. Hahaha, evil laugh. Cliffe. What's wrong with Cameron? Please review. The feedback I've been getting is great. Keep it up.