Code Name Huck
Changed
(Opening credits. Cut to the Code Name Huck title card.)
Narrator: (V.O) Previously on Code Name Huck.
(Opening credits run again, followed by last episode's end credits. Cut back to the title card.)
Narrator: (V.O) Now Part Two of the Code Name Huck series finale.
(Cut back to the church as the Shaman vomiting blood from "Changes" is now dead as James is pacing around while Chris looks on.)
James: What do we do? What do we do?
Chris: The only thing we can do………nothing.
(James starts to hold Chris by the collar.)
James: Oh Hell no, that Huck and that PBS group of his is doing more harm then good and now they're going to revive Jesse Jackson, possibly the evilest black the world has ever known next to Al Sharpton and Martin Luther King!
(Ronald Regan invisos in as the American flag serves as his background as his name appears at the bottom of the screen in big letters with people saying: "RONALD REAGAN".)
James and Chris: RONALD REAGAN!
Ronald Reagan: I've come back from the dead to give you the weapon to defeat those sumofbitch blacks!
James: Yeah……what?
(Ronald holds up a bag of cocaine.)
James: That's just crack.
Ronald Reagan: Exactly, crack I invented so I can rid of the blacks during my tenure as President.
Chris: And a good tenure that was sir.
(The people say: "Ronald Reagan" again as Ronald smiles and holds his hips in triumph.)
Chris: You were exactly what the Republican Party needed.
(The people say: "Ronald Reagan" again as Ronald smiles and holds his hips in triumph, yet again.)
Ronald Reagan: I was a good President.
James: How the Hell is crack going to knock common sense into these people.
Ronald Reagan: It wouldn't………they'll all overdose and die.
(The people say: "Ronald Reagan" again as Ronald smiles and holds his hips in triumph….yet again!)
James: That's not going to (BLEEP)ing solve anything!
Ronald Reagan: Yeah it will, it'll get rid of all the blacks and then after that…….the gays.
(The people say: "Ronald Reagan" again as Ronald smiles and holds his hips in triumph, yet again!!!!!)
James: WILL YOU (BLEEP)ING STOP DOING THAT!
Ronald Reagan: Never!
(Ronald Reagan gets shot as he falls down.)
James: Thank you….jeez, God. Now what are we going to do, we don't want to kill them, but we also don't want THEM to kill…..what should we do?
Chris: I'll go with Dead Ex-President Ronald Reagan's idea.
James: Stop kissing his ass, his dead now!
(The Black Man from the last chapter that was on fire, had a spear through him and got shot walks in wearing army clothing.)
Black Man: There's only one way you can kill those racists.
James: Who….who are you?
Black Man: I'm the only black person in this town that seems to have common sense. All I have to say is…..get that book. Get that book they use for resurrections which also serves as their bible, only then will they get the message. The book is the key. And not like a car key either, more like a metaphorical key.
James: Why can't you do it, they would be more trusting of you because you're black.
Black Man: I've tried to convince them the whites are not that bad but what do they do, they blow a spear at me, set me on fire and shoot me! I (BLEEP)ing do not want to do that again!
Chris: Okay, we'll do it. We will need to get black make up though.
James: Okay, thank you mysterious stranger. By the way, what's with the gun?
Black Man: Oh yeah, I was the one that shot Reagan before. And I'll do it again if I needed to!
(The camera pans upwards then downwards as James and Chris (with black make-up all over their faces) are walking in the woods.)
James: Okay, we get the book they use for resurrections, so they won't revive Jesse Jackson, and so maybe they'll all get their common sense back.
Chris: And therefore stop Nigggedon.
James: Nigggedon? What the Hell is Nigggedon?
Chris: The end of the world as we know at the hand of blacks.
James: Where did you hear that?
(Beat.)
Chris: Wikipedia.
James: Yeah, well…..Wikipedia isn't always right.
(Cut to the spot Tress and Huck were before as the book is lying down on the stump as James and Chris walk up to it.)
James: There it lies, the crazy book that started this whole PBS business and also used for resurrections. If we grab it, we could get hunted down and…
Chris: Shut up (Chris grabs the book and walks off).
James: Way to go Chris….
(Cut to Huck and Tress deeper in the forest, drunk.)
Huck: I sense a disturbance in the force.
(Tress looks around and then looks straight forward.)
Tress: Those white men obviously posing as white men posing as black men are stealing the book…
(Cut back to James and Chris.)
James: (looking around) RUN!
(Rock music starts as they run off as Tress, Huck and the rest of the black men who have just finishing raping Rowena follow them.)
Singers: Ni ga gedon! Ni gga gedon! Ni ga gedon! Ni gga gedon! Ni gga gedon! Ni gga gedon! (faster) Nigggedon! Nigggedon! Nigggedon! Nigggedon! Nigggedon!
(A sudden explosion rocks the forest as Jesse Jackson arises from the flames floating up and looking evil as he then floats down as it closes up on him as he has the reflection of flames in his eyes.)
Jesse Jackson: (singing) Graffiti on the walls of an Atlanta town, Satan's demon in a chocolate coating.
(Cut to a concert stage with James and Chris playing guitar and Huck singing on a mic.)
Huck: (singing) Smoking crack, selling some smack, Nigggedon's bringing Jesse Jackson's demons in his wake. Smoking crack, selling some smack. Nigggedon's coming, bringing Jesse Jackson's demons in his wake.
(Cut to Yuppie from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids" doing his dance near the streetlight. Cut to James and Chris on the concert stage with Chris on the mic.)
Chris: (singing) The flames are red, Reagan's dead, little Timmy crying got diagnosed with Hepatitis C.
(Cut to a black kid crying in the background. Cut to the Squid in the sky.)
Squid: This is an outrage!
(Cut to James and Chris walking slowly as the PBS continue following them.)
James:(singing) Enslaved niggas, enraged niggas, hunting you down, going down, your white girlfriends are on their huge black penises.
Chris: (singing) Colored evil.
(Cut back to the Squid falling from the sky.)
Squid: (singing) Getting their semen sucked out by your girlfriends!
(Cut back on the concert stage as Chris is on the stage as James and Huck sing into the mic while Jesse Jackson plays guitar.)
James & Huck: (singing) Nigggedon! Nigggedon!
Huck: (singing) Our lord (cut to a close up of Jesse Jackson) is scarce, don't offend our race, or me and my buddies will put you in your place.
Jesse Jackson: (singing) Graffiti on the walls of an Atlanta town, Satan's demons in a chocolate coating.
Huck: (singing) Smoking crack, selling some smack, Nigggedon's bringing Jesse Jackson's demons in his wake. Smoking crack, selling some smack. Nigggedon's coming, bringing Jesse Jackson's demons in his wake
(The song stops as James and Chris continue running as they reach the Evil Alliance and run outside. Inside the light is turned off as the light turns on and then the PBS is in there.)
Priest: Give us the book and we won't have to kill you.
James: How did you, get….get…how did you, from the…….Never!
Priest: Or….or, he's just an idea I'm throwing out there……you give us the book and so we can cause Nigggedon, kill all the whites and so the blacks can take over the world. But you know, we can't do that unless we have that book.
James: We are not giving you the book you, you…….ugh, Priest!
Priest: My name's Wallace.
James: Wallace, whatever! Just what do you want with me and Chris?
Priest: For you both to be dead, we hate the white man.
James: But why?
Priest: Because they screw us over, so we started both PBS', starting killing whiteys, having sex with their woman without their permission and to resurrect Jesse Jackson so he can kill you all, which I see he isn't doing.
James: Yeah, he kinda tired himself out during that song. (cut to Jesse Jackson sleeping on the ground)
Chris: Wait a moment; you started…..both PBS'?
Priest: Yes, we started the network PBS so we can broadcast evil all over America.
James: You bastards, you started that network so you can get enough money from all the telethons so you can start up the church and sucker in more people just like you…
(Beat.)
Priest: No, we just wanted to have hookers and drugs. Yours wasn't bad though.
(Beat.)
James: Oh…..okay.
Priest: Also here's another reason we don't like you whiteys, because you call us niggas, that's our word. You can't use it.
James: Well niggas would never been a word if it won't for those plantation owners that forced you to work on their plantations. So technically, it's our word!
Priest: Oh no, no, no, no. It's our word, not yours, ours. You can't use it, only we can.
James: Well okay then, if you guys get a word, we should be able to get a word too.
Priest: Okay, what word do you want?
James: Um…..uh…….. cake?
Priest: Cake? Okay, cake. Cake is the white man's word.
(James pulls out a shotgun.)
James: Cake is our word, nigga.
(The Priest then pulls out a pistol.)
Priest: Well nigga is our word, cake.
(Huck's pimped out car from the last chapter drives in and transforms into a Transformer.)
Huck's Car: You are wrong; niggas and cake are our words.
James: WHAT THE (BLEEP)!
Huck's Car: Yes, not only are the words niggas and cake belong to the Mexicans, Asians, Greeks, Jews and Arabs, so does every other word. Because we are…..God.
(Dramatic sting.)
James: Not you're not.
Huck's Car: Oh yeah we are. And also MAJGA, that's us, catchy uh, are more superior then anyone else in the universe!
Priest: What?
Huck's Car: Huck's Car away, oh and Chris as well.
Chris: Huh?
(Chris teleports to inside the ship full of Jews, Asians, Mexicans, Greeks and others and Craig walks in, in a robe with two women caressing him.)
Chris: Craig, you're not dead and, what is this?
Mexican Pirate: Silence, arrgh, senior.
(Huck's Car is now in space as it grabs Earth and throws it into the Sun. Cut back inside.)
Chris: What….what am I doing here with the rest of the races and Craig?
Mexican Pirate: Well because… you're obviously Jewish.
(Chris looks at them angrily. The words "To Be Continued" appear on screen. End credits.)