Chapter 6

Bridging the Gap

While Roy slept, Ed busied himself by phoning Hawkeye to update her on what they'd found. The two pontificated over Envy and Lust's presence there and decided the homunculus must be behind the rebellion. As to why they chose to lure Mustang out the way they had, it was anybody's guess. Riza was still concerned for their safety and wanted them to return immediately. Ed decided to let Roy make that decision when he woke up. If were up to Ed, he'd at least stay long enough to try to mend his broken lover and their relationship in the process. It amazed him, how loyal he remained to this man; he was just hopelessly in love with him. If that meant he'd have to suffer through Roy's psychosis with him, then so be it. He knew he had the ability to be strong enough for the both of them.

Roy woke up to the sound of chewing. He turned around in the bed and flinched as his head pounded. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth from dehydration. His eyes focused on Ed sitting at the small table of his room with a plate full of noodles. The young man was eating noisily and reading a book, one on alchemy no doubt, Roy figured. He was stunned by how hard his heart beat when he looked at the young man. His eyes bathed in the lovely gold hair, the large amber eyes, the strikingly boyish features of his face. He knew he was utterly and completely in love, and he hoped against all odds Ed still felt the same. It didn't matter, in this moment; he could still gaze upon him and loose himself and his pain in the sight of him.

Roy was uncomfortable from all he'd drunk, but he deserved to be, didn't he? His memory came flooding back, bringing the scenes of how badly he'd treated Ed along with it. If Ed rejected him now, he certainly couldn't blame him. But he had to at least try to bridge the gap between them. He forced his mouth to move as he sat up on his elbows, "Ed," he said softly.

Ed looked up from his book and dinner when he heard Roy's voice. Just the sound of Roy saying his name hurt. He'd wanted so badly to lay in bed with him, but he wasn't sure if he'd be wanted when Roy woke up. Ed replied with a pained expression on his face, "Do you need something?" he asked.

"I need you, if you don't already hate me," Roy responded with a wavering voice, tears gathered when he saw the suffering in Ed's eyes as he spoke. Maybe Ed was better off if he left him be, Roy thought, he'd probably only hurt Ed worse. He watched wide-eyed as Ed stood and walked toward him. Roy's heart pounded harder as Ed sat next to him on the bed. They studied each other for a moment; each one needing to see what they longed for in the others eyes. Then Roy started to reach his arm around Edward, only to be pulled forcefully into Ed's body by smaller arms, one made of metal. He felt Ed climb on top of him, never loosing his hold on the elder man. Roy sensed Ed's tears fall against his neck and slowly roll down to land on the soft white sheets. He felt Ed's body jerk as the young man he loved started to sob in his arms. Roy pressed his face to the side of Ed's head as he increased his hold, his own tears rolled slowly down into the golden hair he so cherished.

After a few minutes passed, Ed started to calm. He was oddly comforted by the feel of Roy's embrace, even though Roy was the one who caused his pain. Ed struggled to get closer to his lover; position himself so every inch of his being covered some part of Roy. He desperately tried to eliminate any space between them.

Roy felt terrible, how could Ed still be clinging to him after what he did. He had to make right the way he'd treated him, he had to tell him the truth about how he felt, not hold anything back. "I do love you Ed, I want you to know that," Roy confessed tenderly. He felt Ed's arms tighten their hold and a short sob escaped from him. Roy sighed, "telling you I didn't almost killed me, I guess I just felt worthless, unlovable," he tried to explain. "But, you didn't deserve that, there's no excuse for it…I can't believe you're still here with me… I don't want to loose you, I don't want to be alone anymore," Roy admitted, as he soothingly kissed Ed's forehead.

Ed's heart filled with love as Roy's sincere words penetrated the recesses of his soul. Ed raised his head and kissed Roy affectionately on the lips, then he gazed into his eyes, "You can't get rid of me that easily, Mustang." Ed had a faint smile on his lips right before he dropped them back onto Roy's.

"Thank God you're so stubborn," Roy managed to say in between increasingly heated kisses.

Ed allowed his pain to transform into passion as he felt himself harden. He pressed into Roy's hips and hungrily sucked at Roy's mouth. He pushed his tongue into Roy's forcing the two to meet. Ed ran his hands down Roy's near naked body and tugged the covers down around them as he went. He positioned his flesh hand on Roy's nipple and pinched, he was rewarded with a loud moan from his lover. Ed twisted and ground into Roy as he felt Roy's rising hardness. He moaned softly, "God Roy, I want you." His arousal was sweet; he'd wanted to feel this man underneath him all evening, but the circumstances wouldn't permit it. And now, he captured every part of Roy's body as if it was his personal playground.

Roy felt Ed's hands all over his body; it lit a fire deep inside him. The young man he'd so longed for was his to devour, to pleasure. He wanted to give Ed everything he'd denied him; he wanted to show him just how deep his love had become. "Let me feel you" Roy said as he ran his hand under Ed's black jacket and tugged his tank up out of his pants, he stroked the soft skin of his back. He pushed on Ed's behind at the same time he thrust upwards, intensifying the connection between their hips with the extra pressure, making Ed moan loudly.

Ed writhed on top of Roy as his hardness become increasingly sensitive. He felt his desire swelling, his urgency needing to be satiated. He lifted himself off Roy, straddling him, and tore at the clasp on his jacket, almost ripping the cloth before he freed himself of it and threw the jacket to the floor. He gazed down into Roy's eyes and saw him watching him with lustful intentions.

Roy's hands were on Ed's hips and he continued to thrust into Ed's bottom as he watched his lover disrobe. His eyes roamed every delicious curve of his toned body as Ed peeled off his shirt.

Ed stopped momentarily; he was lured back to Roy's lips by the manner in which he was being watched. He kissed Roy passionately, with his back arched over him and his upright hips still grinding, providing friction for his lover. "I need to feel you with nothing between us," Ed told Roy huskily. Then Ed quickly climbed off Roy and stood next to the bed, hastily unbuckled his belt, unfastened his pants and dropped them to the ground with his boxers. He bent over momentarily and removed his boots, socks and freed his pants when he felt Roy's hand on his bare behind. He moaned sharply and leaned into Roy's touch.

Roy had taken the liberty of removing his boxers when Ed got off the bed. Seeing Ed's perfect behind so tantalizingly close nearly pushed him over the edge. He'd only heard of what men did with each other, but he was eager to try it with young lover. It gave him an idea he hoped Ed would be receptive to. As Ed stood still bent over, Roy explored, rubbing his hand over the sensual curves, he moved his hand closer to Ed's entrance, not sure how far Ed would let him go. "Can I do this?" he asked.

Ed nodded, he wasn't entirely sure what he was agreeing to, but something told him he'd enjoy it. As Roy's hand reached closer to his center, he felt his erection throb, he closed his eyes and let out a soft moan before he put his hand on himself to alleviate some of the tension.

When Roy saw how aroused his actions made his lover, he pulled him rapidly back to bed. He positioned Ed in front of him and they lay on their sides. He drank in Ed's scent, slightly musky with spice. "You smell so good," he told him between kisses and soft nips on the sensitive skin between Ed's neck and shoulder.

"Touch me," Ed pleaded in almost a whisper, he was thrusting into empty sheets with the feel of Roy's member rubbing against the center of his behind. He heard Roy wet his hand and then felt it reach around and surround his firmness. Roy squeezed and Ed let out a sharp cry. Ed felt Roy expertly circle his tip with his thumb; the action drove him crazy. Ed's hips thrust persistently in time with Roy's hand. Ed could feel the tension starting to build in his core, "If your going to do something back there, you better make it quick," he cautioned Roy.

Roy smiled, lifted himself briefly, and reached over Ed's head to push his other hand into Ed's mouth. Ed sucked insistently on the digits and let them satiate his oral cravings. Roy felt the vibration of Ed's lips on his fingers as Ed let out a low slow moan. The act ignited Roy in a way he never imagined. He felt a pre-climax pulse shoot through his body and realized he'd better move swiftly. Roy reluctantly removed his soaked fingers from Ed's mouth and positioned them at Ed' entrance. "Ready?" he asked sensually.

Ed nodded, he felt something slick in the center of his behind and then he felt fingers circling his entrance, dancing around the sensitive skin. The sensation caused him to shudder and bend his body forward. "More, I want much more of that," he begged.

Roy tentatively pushed a finger into Ed, he heard him gasp; then as he worked his digit into the right position, he heard Ed cry out and felt his body jolt with pleasure.

"Damn, what was that?" Ed asked, obviously flustered. Ed felt the double whammy of Roy's hand circling his tip and the finger hit his sweet spot. Ed closed his eyes and let the intense sensation consume him a second time. He realized if Roy did that again, he'd loose all control. Ed spoke between heavy breaths, "Roy…I-I'm…going t-to." Roy stopped everything he was doing and Ed felt his lover's arms surround him and hold him firmly. "Why did you stop?" Ed asked, breathless.

"Shsh, hold still a minute, I just don't want it to be over already," Roy whispered.

Roy's lips were so close to Ed's ear it sent shivers down his already too sensitive spine. Ed fought to stay still; his whole body pulsed with a release that had come almost too close. Ed tried to relax, but he could still feel Roy's hardness pressing against his behind, he had to quit thinking about it. He pushed his body forward to pull away from it.

"What's the matter, Ed?" Roy asked, confused.

"You got me going so much I can't relax with you still touching me like that," he replied, he was still breathing heavily. He felt Roy's hand lift and stroke his forehead softly.

"Just relax…is this okay? I mean you're not going stay aroused if I touch your forehead, are you?" Roy teased.

"No," Ed stated just before he squirmed, held his breath, and clenched his eyes shut.

"Oh, come on," Roy said, chuckling softly.

"It's not fair Roy, you're a lot older than me," he whined.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roy questioned, a little offended.

Ed sighed, "Maybe I just…feel things more than most people," he offered.

Roy noticed the conversation finally seemed to relax the blonde. He coolly licked his hand and transferred the slick saliva to his member. "Okay Ed, then tell me what happens when I do this," Roy moved forward and pushed his firmness into Ed's entrance, just barely beyond the threshold. He heard a sharp gasp from Ed and felt him shudder again.

"Damn-it Roy, uh, just do it already, uh, quit teasing me!" Ed said huskily as Roy circled only the head of his member inside him.

Roy wasn't surprised by the outburst, "Ed, you talk more than a woman, you know that?" Then he pushed himself all the way into his lover.

Ed gasped loudly this time and clenched his teeth again. He felt initial pain, but as he moved his hips with Roy's, he found the spot that caused so much pleasure before; he lost his breath for a second as the intense sensation pulsed through him. He quickly ground himself down onto it and reached his free arm around to Roy's hips, clamping down on him. He pushed himself onto Roy, hitting that spot over and over, feeding a voracious hunger. "Put your hand on me, hurry," he said frantically, disregarding Roy's last statement. He didn't care, he knew what he wanted and if he had to say something to get it, he would.

Roy was having his own moment of duress; he couldn't believe how good it felt to be inside Ed. It was all he could do to hang on and not let himself yield too soon. He had his hand on Ed's hip and arched to position his forehead on Ed's back so he could watch himself thrust insistently into Ed's behind. He vaguely heard Ed's pleas. His body trembled as he spit quickly into his hand and threw it around Ed's body. He pumped steadily on Ed's firmness and felt Ed grow rigid in anticipation of his climax.

When Ed finally had what he wanted, he surrendered to the humming that had built inside him. He reached his metal arm out to the sheets and gripped tightly. His face tensed as a ferocious contraction surged through his body, the pressure from being filled shot through to the stroking of his hardness and erupted into Roy's hand, sending Ed into ecstasy and sharp cries over and over as each wave consumed him.

Roy urgently pumped into Ed and succumbed to his own insistent release as he felt Ed's seed pour into his fingers. He heard himself almost scream with the intensity of the spasms that racked his body. He became close to delirious as each one hit and sent powerful sensations through him.

The pair lay in sweat soaked sheets and struggled to regain control of their breathing. Roy rolled onto his back, gazed up at the ceiling, and started to laugh softly, "So, was it good for you?" he asked sarcastically.

Ed looked at him with a puzzled expression, "No, it sucked. What kind of question is that? Of course it was good," Ed replied, he wondered if Roy had lost his mind somewhere in mid thrust.

"It was a rhetorical question, you weren't necessarily supposed to answer," Roy told him smugly. Then Roy positioned himself in a dry area of the bed and reached out for Ed. "Come here," he requested. He watched Ed shimmy into his arms and lay his head on Roy's chest. Roy gently kissed the top of his head.

"Roy?" Ed asked timidly as he cuddled into Roy's warmth.

"What?" Roy replied.

"Don't ever do that again, okay? Don't ever shut me out and don't ever lie to me…about anything," he requested.

Roy strengthened his hold on his young lover, "all right, I'll add those to the list. But seriously Ed, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you like that. The war really messed with my head, left a very deep imprint." He said, starting to sound distant.

Ed lifted his head and moved further up Roy's chest so he could look directly into his dark eyes. "What really stopped you from killing yourself?" Ed questioned. He noticed Roy trying to avert his eyes, but Ed placed his fingers on Roy's chin and directed him back.

"It's hard to talk about," Roy said sadly.

"Please tell me, I want to know," he requested.

"Why?" Roy asked, confused as to why it would be so important to him.

"So if you ever get close to doing that again, I have a way to make you stop." Ed stated innocently.

Roy's eyes filled with tears and he glanced away again momentarily, he'd never had someone love him like this before. He realized Ed had no idea the utter power of his simple statement. When he resumed his gaze into Ed's eyes, he saw confusion. "I love you so much," he said softly as he raised his head to tenderly kiss the blonde. When he left his lips, Ed's expression looked hurt.

"Aren't you going to tell me?" he asked, seemingly unfazed by the tender words.

"You are so damn persistent," Roy answered and let out a heavy sigh. "It just boiled down to not being able to pull the trigger. I'm a chicken, Ed. I don't like pain. I don't like the idea of having to die in order to be dead; does that make sense? Then, I guess as I tried to find a way around the whole pain aspect, I formulated a reason to stay. I really think it was my reason to stay that ultimately kept me alive." He told him, really reasoning through it completely for the first time as he spoke.

Ed was silent; he was processing Roy's words and how they would help him if something like what happened today ever happened again. Suddenly his eyes flashed, "So I guess I'll just have to be your reason for living," he told him, very seriously.

"You already are," Roy informed him, just as seriously. He was surprised to see Ed's eyes grow wide and then fill with tears. They both saw everything they ever needed in each other for a split second. Then Ed blinked and a tear raced down his face. Roy pulled him into his chest again and felt him bury his face into his skin.

"I love you, Roy," Ed spoke softly in a voice laced with emotion.