A/N: Well, despite the fact that I should be finishing papers for my finals coming up this week, I got frustrated with them and decided to finish off this chapter. I hope you all enjoy this one. Next chapter is going to be a change of pace, as you'll see at the end of this one (don't want to spoil it). They boys will have a chance to go back to "pre-Chesna" for a bit. Pardon any errors. I'm too tired to check for them now.

Disclaimer: Same as before, I do not own FFVIII and associated characters, nor do I make a profit from these words.

Warning: Yaoi, language, drinking, smoking, that odd bit of sex tossed in for fun. If these aren't on your ticket, get off the train.

---

Days started to seem shorter and shorter. Classes went by quickly for Seifer and Zell, and they found themselves running around for Chesna. After a week at the Garden she was enrolled in a daycare in town. She was not pleased with the change and screamed the first day. Zell felt horrible as he left her behind, and ran back to her, convinced she just wasn't ready, that she needed more time bonding with the girls at the Garden. The teacher there laughed and urged him to go, told him it was normal and that she would make sure Chesna was fine.

Seifer ended up carrying Zell out over his shoulder, walking to the edge of town with the squirming man in his arms.

That night when they'd returned back to town Chesna was having so much she didn't want to leave, and cried the whole way home.

A few weeks passed and Chesna seemed to grow a little taller, her thin body gaining a little weight. It made them wonder if maybe she hadn't gotten enough when she was living with her mother.

Seifer had his good days and his bad days, just as there were some days Zell was too exhausted to move to care about him, let alone a three year old. It was about a month after her arrival when both men happened to be in the same sort of mood, frustrated and tired after a long day of work.

Seifer's students had given him a hard time after finding the drawing that slipped out of his pocket (one that Chesna had innocently placed there depicting her angel mommy, Daddy, Zell, and Chesna standing between them).

Zell's students had blown off their assignment and four skipped the class altogether. When he'd found them later in the cafeteria, they informed him they didn't need to take fighting classes anymore because they'd found their weapon of choice. And when they thought he was out of earshot, they voiced their opinions on how much manlier a gunblade was to gloves.

Irvine was also nearby, and grabbed Zell as he stalked back to the table, leading him to the other corner.

"Let it go man, just let it go."

"Those fucking-"

"And they're your students. You hit them, Squall's gonna fire your ass. Just sit down and eat your hot dogs."

The walk home that night was tension filled, and halfway back to Balamb they both silently turned off the road and wandered into the deep brush. They were late picking Chesna up and apologized. The teacher, Mrs. Vanguard, assured them it was no trouble, that she'd been fed, and was concerned with the cuts they had on their faces and hands.

"Oh, it's nothing," Zell laughed, waving her off. "We just forgot to bring some potions today, that's all."

Wearily they trudged home, the energetic toddler bouncing away beside them, telling them all about her day.

"And then Tommy colored his kitty! And I colored Angelo!" Once she'd been introduced to children her age, her vocabulary drastically improved. Zell had a feeling it was because they talked to her like one would a baby, and her peers just… talked.

"That's nice, Chezzy." Zell said. They reached home and Zell unlocked the door, letting them in. "Go upstairs and play for awhile, okay? Be quiet though. Me and Daddy had a long day."

"Okay, Zell!" She bounced up the stairs, heading to her room, and shut the door behind her.

Seifer had pulled a chair to the kitchen window and opened it, leaning against the sill. Zell glanced at him shaking his head, and pulled two bottles of beer from the fridge. Zell didn't like the stuff, preferred sweeter things, but this was one of those days. Besides, one couldn't hurt. "You know I don't like you smoking in the house. Don't like you smoking at all for that matter. It's not healthy."

"The window's open," Seifer muttered, putting the end to his lips and inhaling. "And I only do it once in awhile, you know that."

"Still," Zell said, uncapping the bottle and handing it to him. He took a quick sip from his, made a face, and put it down, pulling a chair up to the window.

Seifer took a drink from his as well, tipping the bottle back, letting the cool liquid slide down his throat. Zell watched, his eyes drooping lazily. Seifer looked down at him, head tipped back, and smirked. He swallowed a little more before lowering the bottle and taking another drag on the cigarette. Still holding the smoke in his mouth, he jerked his head back, motioning for Zell to come closer.

Zell complied, resting his elbows on his knees. Seifer leaned forward, taking Zell's chin between his two fingers, the cigarette dangerously close to his face. The tattooed blond parted his lips, waiting, while the scarred one leaned closer, their lips centimeters apart. Seifer parted his, and blew lightly, the smoke moved between their mouths. Zell breathed it in, closing his eyes.

After the smoke was gone, Seifer closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Zell's. The smaller man sighed, enjoying the differing tastes in his mouth. He hated smoking, but he loved the taste of the smoke when Seifer blew it through his mouth. The slightly ashy taste lingered with the bitter alcohol, mixing with the unique taste that belonged to Seifer: slightly minty and sweet, and incredibly, incredibly hot.

Without a word, Seifer took the bottle from Zell and set it next to his on the table. With his other hand he crushed out the cigarette in the ashtray on the sill. Zell's arms slid around Seifer's shoulders, while his arms wrapped around his lovers waist and pulled him out of the chair. He pressed him backwards until his lower back hit the kitchen counter.

Their kissing became fevered, pulses racing and breathing growing heavier as hands pulled at buttons. Seifer lifted Zell onto the counter while his smaller fingers ran down the buttons of his jacket, nearly popping one of them off in the process.

Seifer's hands pulled Zell's shirt out of his pants and slid under to his smooth skin. He was about to pull it over his head when he heard a noise behind him. Jerking his head around he stared down at Chesna, who stared back at him, eyes wide. Zell, frustrated and not realizing what was happening. He looked towards the door, his eyes half lidded. When he realized what he was looked at, he shoved Seifer away.

"Uh, Ch-Chesna, I thought you were playing in your room."

"Daddy hurting Zell?"

"No, Chesna, he's not."

"But-"

"Chesna, go to your room." Seifer said, turning his back on her. She frowned, not moving. "I said GO!" Terrified, the little girl burst into tears and scampered off.

"Seifer, you didn't have to yell at her," Zell fixed his shirt as he jumped off the counter. Seifer slammed a fist down, a nearby plate rattling. Ignoring his temperamental lover, Zell ran off after her, listening to the sound of her crying.

Her door was shut when he got there, and he could hear her throwing something. Cautiously he opened the door, alarmed at the sight before him. "Chesna," he said, calmly but firmly. All her toys were tossed around the room as if she'd been throwing them. Her crayons were on the floor, some scribbling on a few sheets of paper. When he looked up at the wall, his jaw dropped. She decided at some point that the paper wasn't enough, and moved on to bigger, better things.

The picture on the wall was… well it was big. After the initial shock of it, he was surprised the crayons were even big enough to do what they did. She'd drawn herself standing next to her mother and father, with the start of someone else next to the image meant to represent Seifer. Chesna was huddled on the floor in front of the picture, wiping her eyes.

"Chesna… what did you do?" He asked softly. He heard footsteps come up the stairs and knew if Seifer saw the mess, he'd be angry.

"I ran out of paper," She sniffed. Seifer appeared in the door behind Zell, and she cowered, bringing her knees up to her chest. "Daddy…"

Seifer stared wordlessly at the mess, though Zell could practically hear his thoughts screaming. "Chesna…" he started, his voice low. The tattooed blond took a step back towards him, pressing his back to his chest, blocking him.

"Seifer," Zell warned, lowly.

"What… did you do?"

"Drew a picture…"

"Why… did you draw it on the wall?"

"I ran out of paper…"

"And why didn't you come ask us for more paper?" Well, Zell thought, he's taking this rather well.

"I don't know."

"DAMNIT CHESNA! You have to THINK about things! Doesn't the teacher yell at the other kids who draw on the wall? Why the HELL would you do it here?"

"I'm sorry Daddy," she cried, clearly distressed. He turned and strode down the hall to their bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Chesna wailed louder at the loud noise. "I sorry, I sorry," she wailed. Zell sighed and picked her up.

"It's okay Chesna, stop crying."

"Daddy mad."

"He's not mad, he's upset. He'll be okay. Come on, let's get you in bed." He said, when she started to rub her eyes sleepily as well as wiping the tears away.

"Zell mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." He changed her clothes and tucked her into the bed, forgoing the bath tonight. Putting Bear and Angelo next to her, he stroked her head until she fell asleep, then picked the crayons off the floor.

In their room, Seifer sat at the edge of their bed, head in his hands. Zell shut the door softly behind him, not knowing whether to go up and punch him or give him a hug too. "Seif," he said softly, feet barely making a sound on the plush carpet.

"I can't fucking do this anymore," Seifer said, one finger rubbing at his temple.

"Do what?"

"This. All of it."

"She's just a little kid, Seifer. Let it go. It'll wash off easy enough."

"That's besides the point."

"Then what is the point?" The bed dipped as Zell sat on the bed next to Seifer, resting his chin on the taller man's shoulder. Unconsciously Seifer's head tilted to the side and bumped into Zell's.

"I thought things were getting easier. But it's not. I don't want this anymore."

"Come on, it's still new, we're still adjusting."

"No. You're fine with this. You look good playing house, I don't. I hate this. I want… I… fuck."

"What, what do you want?" Sensing his turmoil, Zell pulled his knees up on the bed and moved behind his lover, resting his hands on his shoulders. He slowly began to knead them, working lose the tension, and leaving light kisses down his neck. Seifer moaned, letting his head fall forward. Zell took that as an invitation and slid his hand down the neck of his shirt, rubbing small circles across his broad chest.

"You?" Seifer murmured, letting his body fall back against Zell, who laughed softly.

"Mmhmm." He continued massaging his body, watching as the tension drained out of him, his muscles like putty in his hands. Zell leaned down near his ear, kissing the outer edge. "How about we finish what you started earlier?"

"Are you sure there won't be any interruptions?" Seifer asked, his mood darkening. Zell nipped the skin right behind his ear and he jumped.

"She's asleep. We can lock the door if you want." He shook his head, grabbing Zell's arm and pulling it out of his shirt, before tugging his clothing off. It landed on the floor in a heap, Zell's soon joining on top of it.

Seifer leaned over Zell, his arms straining to keep him above the smaller man when he desperately wanted to press their skin together. "I miss the freedom we had before," he murmured, neck reaching to catch Zell's in a searing kiss. "The couch," his lips trailed down the side of his face. "The floor…" they reached a sensitive spot on Zell's neck and he shivered. "The desk…" he nipped at his collarbone, leaving light red bruises. "The kitchen counter…" Zell shivered again, his back arching off the bed and pulling Seifer close to him.

Seifer made sure to go slow, teasing Zell in all his movements, driving his lover mad. Soon he had him screaming his name, begging. After the second time that night, Zell lay back, exhausted, even though Seifer looked just as hungry as ever. Drenched in sweat, the two lie on the sheets, limbs tangled together.

"Seifer…"

"Hmm?" He asked lazily, turning his head and kissing Zell's shoulder.

"This weekend… let's go away. Just the two of us." Seifer shifted on the bed, pushing himself up.

"Chesna." He muttered.

"No, Ma will watch her. You need to get away… we… need to get away and spend some time alone. Even if we stay here… we can put the kitchen counter to good use…" Zell teased.

"Nice try, Chicky."

"But I thought you'd-"

"No. Get some sleep."

"Seifer, come on, we just-"

"I said get some sleep. We have to work in the morning." Whereas his voice had been passionate and full of love just moments before, it was now cold, distant. Zell sighed, wishing he'd never opened his mouth. His lover's moods shifted so fast, it was hard to keep up with. Wordlessly he rolled over and closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come for a long time.

---

"Zell, you look like crap," Selphie announced cheerfully as he trudged up the main corridor towards the cafeteria.

"Hyne, yeah Zell. Looks like a few T-Rexaurs got a hold of you out there," Irvine snickered, following the short blond towards the line where he ordered a coffee. "Coffee? Zell drinks coffee?" Selphie laughed, punching Zell's arm, causing the steaming liquid to slosh around in the cup.

"Could you NOT try to burn my arm?" He grumbled, taking a sip and making a face. He'd overslept and hadn't had time to wake up that morning, and despite the long walk, he was still tired. And sore.

"Doesn't look like he's been in a fight. Looks like he got some action," The perky brunette teased, as Irvine blushed and turned his head. "Seifer didn't take it easy on you, did-"

"Can we shut up please?" Selphie stopped, frowning.

"What's wrong, Zell?"

"Nothing's wrong. Long night, that's all." He glared at her to stop the snickers. "Chesna decided the wall was her canvas, and Seifer got angry."

"Ooh…" Selphie murmured.

"Yeah, and when I suggested we get away for the weekend, send Chesna to spend some time with Ma? Like I thought he'd want? He snaps at me! Out of nowhere, we were having a good time, and he loses it with me! What the hell."

"Didn't he have a rough time with his students yesterday?"

"Yeah, but so did I, and you don't see me going and beating people to a bloody mess, do you? No."

"Well, that's only because I stopped you yesterday, Zell." Irvine grinned.

"Shut it, cowboy."

"Oh, good one, Chicky." The three spun and watched as Seifer walked past them. Zell thought he'd stop and at least say hello, but he disappeared around the corner and didn't double back.

---

For the second time in weeks, Squall found himself outside Seifer's classroom. Unlike the first time, however, he hadn't made the suggestion. Zell had come to him, asking for help.

And so, despite his desire to do so, Squall entered the classroom as the last of the students were leaving, greeting him. He waved them off and approached Seifer's desk, where he sat, head bent, grading papers.

"I'm doing my job, so you can't get on my case," Seifer said, without looking up.

"I wasn't here to get on your case about your job. Not this one at least." Like last time, he leaned on the desk.

"And just what other job is it you propose I have, Squally-boy?"

"The one as father." Silence hung thick in the air, the only sound coming from Seifer's stylus tapping the tablet before him. He pressed a button and it beeped, the screen shutting off.

A harsh, barking laugh came from Seifer's lips as he fell back against his chair. "Zell turned you on to this, didn't he? He's still sore about last night."

"This isn't a joke, Seifer. Zell wouldn't come to me about your personal affairs if he weren't serious, or hurt somehow. So why don't you tell me your story about what happened?"

"When, last night?" Seifer shrugged. "We got home, had a drink, Chesna drew on the wall and I got angry."

"Zell said you blew up at her."

"Well yeah, I guess I did. Come on Squall, she drew on the wall. Of course I was angry. Okay, maybe I overreacted."

"Need I remind you she's a little kid, and they do things like that? But that's not that the point I want to make. Zell said afterwards, you shut down on him when he suggested the two of you go away. Why?"

"Why the fuck should you care? So what?"

"So you did."

"Yeah, I did."

"Why?" Seifer glared at the young headmaster, before reaching a hand up and trailing fingers gingerly over his scar.

"Things were pretty good for awhile, with Chesna I mean. I thought we'd be able to have a happy family, or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes I'd get these feelings though… like I didn't want to be there, or that something wasn't right. They weren't there after the first few days, but now they've been coming back. And last night… I just… I lost it. I wanted Zell so bad, and we were-"

"Please, Seifer, spare me the details." Amused with Squall's reaction, he kept talking.

"I had him on the kitchen counter, and we were ready to-"

"Seifer."

"Fuck right there, but Chesna came in. I yelled at her, told her to go to her room. I was frustrated. What man wouldn't be? The mood was ruined though. Then we went up stairs and she had drawn all over her wall. I lost it again. After she was in bed we made-"

"Seifer…"

"Am I making you uncomfortable Squall?"

"I don't need to hear about your love life."

"But don't you want to know how hot he is in bed?"

"… Not particularly, no. Just cut the shit, Seifer. What's going on in your head? Why do you keep changing your mind about things? You're confusing everyone."

"I am confused. That's the point."

"So talk to me, Seifer. Since you won't talk to Zell, talk to me. I'm not directly involved in this."

"Since when do you want to talk about anything, oh silent one?"

"…"

"I don't want this. Didn't want this."

"We've established this. But look, have you thought of this? Maybe her mother didn't want her either. Maybe she was afraid of having that child alone."

"She had nine months, Squall, nine months to get used to fact that she was going to have a kid, and if she was so against it, she could have taken care of it. I had five seconds. Five seconds to get used to the fact that, not only would there be a kid, but there was a kid. Now you tell me, oh wise one, which option would you want? Gradual acceptance? Or sudden shock?"

Squall looked at him as he stood. What he saw before him was a tall man who had aged years in a short amount of time. This man had deep lines under his eyes from lack of sleep. His brilliant blue eyes were dull.

"If I'm not needed anymore, I'm going home."

"Seifer." He stopped and turned. "Go with Zell this weekend. The two of you need it." Seifer's lips curled into an unpleasant smile, but whatever comments he had were withheld as he left the room behind.

That evening the two men walked home together, the sun starting to droop in the sky. There was no conversation between them. Zell walked with his gloved hands shoved in his pockets, head down. Seifer had on hand on his gunblade like usual. When they neared Balamb, Seifer slipped an arm around Zell's shoulder and pulled him close. The two stopped walking simultaneously, and the smaller man turned, leaning against his lover. Tilting his head back, Seifer stared up at the sky, the few clouds turning red in the sunset.

"So… where are we going his weekend?" Zell picked his head up and stared at Seifer, grinning happily.

"Thank you." Seifer nodded, kissing the top of his head.

"It's time we got back to being ourselves. I think everyone misses it."