Chapter 45
Sandy was slightly awake one morning, feeling an arm around her middle and someone pressed against her.
She was a bit startled at first, then it took a few seconds to sink in that Paul was home due to a show being canceled up north because of the bad weather conditions.
Sandy felt him stir, then, feeling slightly mischievous, decided to tease him a little, taking into consideration that Paul wasn't a morning person and it took him awhile to get his bearing.
"Mmmmm…..good morning, Brad," she murmured, trying not to giggle.
"And good morning to…." Paul began before sitting up ramrod straight on the bed.
"Who the hell is Brad?!"he asked jealously.
Sandy couldn't help it and broke out laughing. "Well, that woke you up quickly, didn't it?"
"No, seriously, who's the dude?"
"Paul, relax. I was just messing with you. There's no Brad or anyone else. You know me better than that."
"That wasn't very nice," he whined.
"Just testing to see if you were paying attention. After all, you tend to be a grumpy Gertie in the morning."
"Oh yeah, at least you get to be a bag of sunshine because you can sleep more than four or five hours a night."
"May I also mention all the jokes you've pulled on me, like the time you thought putting one of the ferrets in bed before I got in was funny--after it scared the hell out of me."
"Yeah, I'll admit that one kind of backfired. I couldn't find James for about two days afterward before Tyler discovered him in the laundry basket in his room."
"Speaking of the two little fur balls, you need to clean their cage and give them baths. They're starting to stink again."
"Oh goody, I get to spend my extra day off cleaning ferret shit."
"They are yours," Sandy pointed out. "I'll have Tyler take Xomat for a walk later before he has his bath."
"You think it's safe for you to bathe the dog?" Paul wondered.
Sandy nodded. "A lot safer than cleaning the ferret cage or scooping doggy doo. I could be at risk for toxoplasmosis if I'm exposed to that, remember?"
"Oh yeah, that's right. Don't mind me; I tend to be a bit slow at this kind of stuff."
She smiled. "Don't worry about it. This is your first child, after all."
Paul let go a loud yawn and announced he was going to take a shower. "Provided Tyler isn't hogging the john," he added.
"I doubt he's even awake yet," Sandy replied, "so you're pretty safe for now."
"Want to join me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Actually, what I would like is some coffee," she said. "You can go ahead without me."
"Okay, but you're passing on a good opportunity. Save water, shower together, you know."
"Right, as if the opportunity won't be there the next fifty years," she laughed before heading downstairs to the kitchen.
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"GOD DAMN YOU, TYLER!" Sandy heard Paul bellow awhile later as she was getting breakfast. "I'm going to fucking kill you!"
Tyler had run downstairs and collapsed on the couch, howling with laughter.
Paul had followed shortly after, dressed in only shorts and headed to the kitchen.
"Will you please beat your son's ass for me?" he called back
Sandy looked back and forth between the kitchen and the laughing figure in the living room.
"Tyler Michael Dillard, what is going on?" she asked sternly.
"Oh Mom, you missed it," he howled. "Paul was in the shower and you know how he likes to go around from the bathroom to you guys' bedroom baby ass naked?"
"Yes….now what did you do?"
"Okay, he was getting out of the shower and before he did, I opened the window blinds in your room. Then when he went in, by the time he saw it, some woman across the street got a peek at his 'pikachu'!" Tyler began to laugh even harder.
Sandy knew she should have chided her son, but the thought of one of the neighbors seeing Paul in the full monty made her laugh.
"Not funny, you two!" Paul yelled.
"Maybe now you'll put some clothes on first," Sandy called back, giggling.
"Yeah, who wants to see your shit besides Mom anyway?" Tyler asked.
"Tyler, really, cut it out."
"Why? It's fun bagging on him when he's home. He does it to us."
"Gee, nice to know I'm a great source of entertainment," Paul said, sitting down to wolf his breakfast, then pointed at Tyler. "You're still getting your ass beat."
"Bring it on, dude," Tyler said, still laughing.
"All right, you two. I really think we should lay off of Paul for awhile," Sandy said.
"Yeah, you can go pick on 'Brad' for awhile," Paul teased.
"Brad who?" Tyler asked, confused.
"Nothing, Tyler," Sandy replied. "I was teasing Paul earlier this morning." She began snuggling with her husband, who happily reciprocated.
"Aw, come on now, huh?" Tyler said, making a face. "Now you're making me sick. Keep that shit up and you'll have more babies."
"Go walk the dog," Sandy said to Tyler, then turned to Paul. "And when you're done, there's the ferrets and their cage. Meanwhile, I'm going to clean up the dishes."
"Yeah, just what women love to do, Ty," Paul responded, turning to Tyler. "Leave us with the dirty jobs."
"Somebody has to do them," Sandy called from the kitchen. "May as well be you two."