a disclaimer: I've only read the Illustrated Classic of Jekyll and Hyde, I've seen the Wishbone episode and I've seen the musical. I have not read the actual book, so I'm not positive about what happened. I'm sure I'm not that far off though.

I'm so sorry. I don't know why I forgot to update this. I haven't been spending a lot of time on fanfiction so that's my only guess. Again, sorry, but here is the massive chapter. And for now this story is complete/in hiatus.

The Journals

You were beautiful when I picked you up. Blushing from the cold. I could only imagine what Alice would have to say about our matching outfits.

I didn't want to take you out, I wanted to be strong and be able to ignore you. I'd rather have you hate me instead of care for me. I'm ashamed to say, that I could see that you were taken with me and I loved it. I loved that you felt the same way about me that I did about you. It was the seventeen year-old in me.

I had never experienced what I felt as a human. I can promise you Bella, that you are the first person I have ever had these kinds of feelings. And it was so confounding, I had been alive in some sort of way for over a hundred years and here I was falling for the worst person for me. A human girl whose veins I wanted to drain dry.

And I wasn't strong enough to turn you away, you pulled me in like a seductress. You still have that power over me, Bella, you complain about me dazzling you. But you don't have to do anything to get me to fulfill your every wish and whim.

It took forever to reach the meadow in the abysmal truck you were determined to drive. You tried to hide your worry about the treacherous path that would take us there, your face was so easy to read even if I couldn't read your mind. You didn't know that I would do everything I could to protect you from getting so much as a scratch. Not only would something as small as a paper cut bring pain to your world but it could also bring your death.

I wasn't sure how strong I could be around your blood lest it be spilled. Having it covered by veins and skin was hard enough for me, especially with your constant blushing, causing the blood pool in your cheeks and décolletage.

Even though I haven't seen you blush in months I can still perfectly see the way your creamy neck would slowly turn pink, then red. Your left hand would go up and pull on a length of your hair and you would duck your head in, trying to hide the red that was there. But I didn't need my eyesight in order to know it was there. The smell was intoxicating.

During that time you were always trying to come up with theories about me, conclusions drawn from the literature you had read read or the movies you had seen. All wrong, of course. But there was something I hadn't told you then, maybe now is the best time. I had a theory about you and it was in this trip that I discovered that it was a law. The First Law of Bella, perhaps. I call it the first because there would be many more to come.

The First Law of Bella reads something like this: if there is danger to be found in an experience Bella Swan (now Cullen) will most certainly find it, no matter how small or unlikely. Never underestimate the power of Bella's danger radar and magnet.

How could you, my smart little human, be so foolish as to not tell anyone that you were off with a very dangerous creature? Did you make it a habit while you lived in Phoenix to take candy from strangers and help them find lost puppies, you silly beautiful girl?

When I stepped into the light I was waiting for the fear to come rushing to you, for you to run away into the woods. Of course, I would have to go after you in case you got lost or hurt. I would have to use my, how should I phrase it, influence in order to get you home and to the car. My family would then of course be inconvenienced because we would then have to move quickly, perhaps we would pay you off in order to keep our secret.

But, the Second Law of Bella was then tested and the conclusion was made.

You didn't run away, dear Bella, you stayed there, in awe of me. Shocked most certainly, but I couldn't smell or see a hint of fear coming from you. Knowing that you wouldn't run away I laid down in the middle of meadow, the sun was warming over my body.

I had always enjoyed sitting in the sun, forbidden to do so in front of humans the opportunity to do this was rare if we didn't live in a town that had lots of open wilderness nearby. When I came to Forks the first time I was disappointed to see so many trees, much like you. The reasonable person in me knew that the cloudy atmosphere would be good for my then small family, but I was upset to know I wouldn't get my time in the sun.

It was why I was delighted to find the small clearing and the first time I left I hoped that the growing communities or the spawning trees wouldn't swallow it up. When we moved back, it seemed I was in luck, not only was it clear of houses, shopping strips and trees but I would also find someone to share it with.

And what a lucky vampire I was, to have such a beautiful lady to share the meadow with now. I may be a selfish creature, but I wanted so badly to share this with you. You were the first person, vampire or human, I had taken to see the meadow. Carlisle and Esme knew of it and the proximity of it, Alice of course knew where it was, but none of them would ever make an attempt to visit me there. This was my space. Until I took you there, it would soon become our space. And I pray that if there is one thing you remember about our courtship that the times in this meadow would be it.

I couldn't help but be glad that you didn't run away, I wanted you to stay with me, even though at the time I wasn't aware of how far I would take us. I had figured that like any other human you would soon lose interest, but you dug us into the hole and I made no move to help us get out.

You moved to touch me, fear in your eyes, finally. But when your fingertip touched my hand relief pushed away any fear that you had. The warmth coming from that one fingertip was amazing; against my skin I could feel every line of your fingerprint.

Maybe it was the seventeen year old in me, but at that moment the feeling your small, warm hands against my arm felt erotic. Sexual. Between the warmth from your skin and your aroma being an aphrodisiac for me, you now know very well how much comfort the touch of something warm can give. And please forgive me Bella, remember we had not yet kissed and that thought crossed my mind. If your touch could send my non-existent heart beat racing, what would a kiss do?

Of course I now know what I felt then is nothing compared to what I feel when I'm kissing you, really kissing you. Not the kiss that had so many rules and boundaries in place to keep you safe. And that touch is only a blip on the radar now that our relationship is complete, now that we have made love.

Do you try and drive me mad, Bella, or is it just one of your many talents?

I wanted so badly to ask you what you were thinking, but I feared that my prying would turn you off. I wasn't used to not having the upper hand in situations, it wasn't that I had a bad hand of cards it was that I hadn't been given any. You would automatically win. I hadn't seen at the time though, that by you winning I would win as well. If you got to stay with your soul mate forever, then so did I.

Your fingers trembled against me, it felt amazing. I closed my eyes, cutting off one more sense willing my sense of touch to grow. I wanted to be consumed by your touch. Your fingers trembled against my arm and made their way to the crook of my elbow, tracing each pointless vein there.

I lost myself there. Sensing your other hand coming to meet my own I flipped my palm face up, I had forgotten to go at a human speed, "It's too easy to be myself with you," and, Bella, it was. I had to think twice and concentrate on pretending to be human, that could become very dangerous if I were to forget myself in public. Or God forbid I did something in public that would reveal my true identity.

It was a close enough call when Tyler's van tried to destroy you.

We could have spent days in the meadow talking, I knew we had spent hours, but it only felt like minutes. It wasn't fair, I wanted all the time in the world with you. But I knew I couldn't give that to you, if I really felt anything for you I should have been strong enough to let you go. Let you live a normal happy life and only remember me as a happy first love. But I couldn't do that Bella, I was weak.

And honest to goodness I'm glad I fell down the rabbit hole with you.

I explained almost everything to you, at the time you thought it was everything. But of course it was for naught, you've probably forgotten it all. That's why I'm writing these, perhaps my memories will trigger your memories and help you cling to them for longer at least for the happier ones. Because, despite the turmoil of our relationship, Bella, there were happy times for us, our time spent in the meadow being one of them.

I remember it exactly; of course, "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

Watching you take that in was the scariest thing I've ever faced. I had known you for a matter of weeks, pretended to hate you for a few of them, then I was declaring my love for you. And you returned it, may I refer back to The Second Law of Bella? She is always full of surprises. Do you do it on purpose, do you try to keep me on my toes? Is it some kind of game you have going on with Alice, just to keep her mind busy and racing with images of our future paths?

It doesn't help that I can't read your mind. Will there ever be a point, hundreds of years down the road when I'll know you well enough to be able to predict each move you make? Would our relationship change then?

I held you close, trying to force myself to become immune to your scent. It did little except warm my cheek a little and send my head spinning. You didn't have to say anything, I could tell from your heartbeat alone, that you enjoyed the connection just as much as I did.

And all too soon you had to go home, it was so unfair. I ran with you for the first time, it didn't go nearly as well as I had expected. I had thought that after spending the entire day with a vampire, a vampire who desperately wanted to drink your blood, you would enjoy something as safe as running with me. I would never let anything hurt and as long as you were in my grasp nothing ever would.

You looked ghastly when I set you down, after prying your hands off my neck. I'm sorry to say that I was just a little amused by your reaction, despite your pallor you said you were fine minus being dizzy. The Third Law of Bella was born.

The Third Law of Bella: in the face of danger Bella will always put on a brave face and pretend nothing is wrong, only the wise will be able to see through it.

You looked beautiful even though you were a ghastly shade of green white. Your hair was frazzled and your eyes were wide open and bright, alert to anything else that might surprise you.

I couldn't help myself, I had never kissed someone nor had I ever been kissed. I wasn't aware of what I should do, whether or not I should ask your permission or whether you were supposed to tell me it was okay.

I knew that I was too far away from my family to hear their voices and there was no way that they could know what I was doing, but I could still hear them teasing me relentlessly. At least Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were. Alice was too kind and Carlisle and Esme were too understanding.

But suddenly I feared more than just your rejection, but whether or not I could handle being so close to you. I had thought at that moment that this would be the ultimate test, I would later find out that us alone on that boat would be the ultimate test. But for this moment, our lips together, my hands on your blushing face, your warm hands in my hair, around my neck would test every strength I had.

Your lips parted against mine, I knew I couldn't handle that, but your enthralling smell and inviting hands drew me closer. How could they not? I stopped, remained motionless. With the utmost gentleness I withdrew your hands from my neck and stared at you, eyes closed, puffy lips parted, face pink with that beautiful blush of yours.

I could almost feel myself crossing the line I had promised I wouldn't cross, I was in love with you Bella Cullen, Bella Swan at the time. I had hoped that this would only be a silly high school love for you, that I could easily forget you once my family moved on. How harebrained of me, right? I am the one that pulled us down the rabbit hole, so I suppose it's fitting.

I kept you close, despite your attempts to move away from me. Your heart was pumping away madly and I smiled, I had kissed you. I had passed the then ultimate test and I had won and conquered. I felt better than Caesar probably had.

I felt so jubilant knowing you weren't dead, knowing that my lips hadn't slipped to your delicate throat and taken away your life. I helped you up and to the car, you swayed to and fro drunk with- what? I couldn't decide if you were still weak from the run or were as dazzled by the kiss as I was.

I took away your keys, teasing that "friends don't let friends drive drunk. You're intoxicated by my very presence," I felt as if I was flying, I could have gotten you the moon and all the stars if you had asked for them.

The car ride back to your house and away from me was different than are car ride to the meadow. We talked; some could even say we chatted. Albeit our conversation played mainly on my age and my changing, I kept it very brief however. I had hoped that the more I kept from you the safer you would be when we parted ways. I wasn't oblivious to the Volturi's set of rules.

We spoke more of my family and I told you a brief part of their history, it would be hard to fit it all into one brief car ride. We spoke for a long time in front of your house, I was aware that it was customary to walk you to the door and kiss you goodnight but I didn't want to let you go. Your car smelled so wonderful and you made me so curious, what with your endless questions and blank mind. But, it wasn't blank, not really, it only seemed that way to me.

And in that car, wrapped up in you, Bella, it was like I was finally alone with myself for the first time in years. I didn't have the drone of others' thoughts ringing through my head. It may seem difficult to be alone when someone else is in the nearby vicinity, but you made me whole Bella. I could really be myself around you. I wasn't answering the questions I heard in your head, I was having a normal conversation out loud and I loved it all.

You were my new guilty pleasure.

And it's true, during those days I had so much guilt about taking you away from your family and friends, even momentarily. Rosalie and I would get into awful fights about what I was doing to you, she was convinced that you wouldn't be able to let me go and I had fooled myself that everything would work out. There did come a point where I realized that I wouldn't be the one who couldn't let you go. But that was easily solved, I would stay with you, stay by your side until the day you died. It was too easy.

But, as I've now learned you never make things easy Bella.

The Fourth Law of Bella: when in doubt Bella will always take the harder, less traveled road.

And that has made all the difference, Bella love.

I followed you into your house, already knowing where the key was and the layout of the house. I admitted to my spying, you didn't seem at all as offended as I had thought you would have.

You were so embarrassed once I informed you that I had overheard what you spoke about in your sleep. Hearing you talk in your sleep was amazing, right up there in my Top 10 Most Beautiful Things. You would shift your shoulders and clutch your lucky pillow just a little tighter and whisper off some nonsense string of words. Sometimes they would make sense though.

I told you what I heard, telling you how I knew so much about you. I didn't give up my most precious piece of information so easily, it took some prying, because Bella, I had never heard those words from anyone besides my family. Of course I had heard them in the minds of frivolous girls at school, but I was hearing it from the mouth of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

The thought that someone so wonderful could love me so much was too precious of me to let go, I suppose I was just too afraid that I would scare you off. Although I don't know why I was so doubtful, you had all but found yourself some handcuffs to tether yourself to my side. You weren't going anywhere.

I believe that I was holding on to the glimmer of distorted hope that you would still run from me, Bella. I was too far in the rabbit hole, but if you got out you could live a normal life. Perhaps if only your subconscious was aware of those feelings for me all would be safe for your future.

And to think I had worried about all this just from my nam whispered off of your sleepy lips.

Before the blush had time to leave your cheeks I heard your father come up the drive way, I quickly discerned that now would not be the time for me to meet him and I rushed to your room leaving you befuddled in the kitchen with your plate of food.

I listened quietly from your room, my dead heart soared as I recognized your rushed voice and movements. You were trying to hurry up to get to me, Bella. Someone as terrible as me had captured someone as beautiful and wonderful as you, it was a very confusing feeling. I felt like Jekyll and Hyde, caring for Lucy but hurting her as well.

Poor Dr. Jekyll describes my condition very well.

Jealousy soared through me as your father mentioned the topic of Saturday nights and boys, but I felt a flutter of joy at your inflection of the word 'boys, but it quickly dropped. On the one hand you thought of me as a man, as someone more than a boyfriend. On the other hand you thought of me as the hundred year old monster I really was.

If I only I could have read your mind, Bella.

I rested on your bed as your feet pounded against the stairs, you squinted in the darkness trying to find me, not even thinking of looking on your bed. I thought perhaps that by lying on your bed I had intruded. Was being on your bed too personal, too intimate too soon? I knew very well what couples generally did in bed.

But were we even a couple? We had had one kiss, we never discussed us being together. It just happened.

Your heart was fluttering from the shock as I sat you next to me, your smile wiped away my fears I had about anything at the moment. You accuse me of dazzling you, but you do the same, without even intending to which is by far worse. At least I have some control over my dazzling qualities.

That night is most certainly on my Top Ten Best Nights, perhaps the top five. Along with the first night of our honeymoon, the night you grudgingly accepted my proposal, our first night together after your change.

I waited diligently on your bed while you cleaned yourself up, although I saw no need for your human moment. You came back into the room looking excited, like the kids at school on the day before winter vacation or spring break. Your face was flushed and warm I couldn't help but lay my own face against yours and attempt to absorb some of the warmth.

We had been so close that night, I had been exuberant. I had thought this was the peak of our relationship and we could never be closer than that night. But, I was oh so wonderfully wrong.

I began to live again, feel emotions again. These feelings of love and jealousy and furry were amazingly real.

I was holding you so utterly close when I heard the stray thoughts of Charlie coming by to check on you. I listened from the closet, I could hear your terrible immitation of rhythmic breathing. Once Charlie left I opened the door and smiled at your scrunched up body under the covers. I watched silently, adoring your tragic theatre skills. I never wanted the moment to end.

I didn't need to move the stack of books blocking your alarm clock to know that it was late and I knew from my nights of stalking that you were generally asleep by the late hour that it was. But, I'm naturally a selfish creature and it was hard to let go of the short time I had with you.

I offered to sing you to sleep but you declined. I hadn't told you about your lullaby at that time, I think that perhaps I was embarrassed.

You decided to question me on my life and my life style. You could be a reporter, Bella, you're wonderful at putting a person in the hot seat. You have a knack for those hard-hitting questions.

I cringed inwardly when the conversation drew to a more sensitive subject for our relationship. I couldn't imagine being any closer to you than I was at that moment and your question brought my fantasy to a screaming halt.

You were so honest with me, you were so gorgeous, inside and out, and I had an unfortunately prime knowledge of the teenage male mind. I would never have guessed someone like you was so innocent.

In the silence of the night I could almost hear your systems giving you the warning bell to lay your head down, rest your mind and go to sleep. I held you close as you fell asleep and hummed your lullaby till the sun peaked again.

AN: Long chapter much? Actually, I wanted to continue but I knew if I did I would never finish, it's already longer than I wanted it to be. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of this and I hope I was able to portray this scene (well, two chapters) well and it didn't feel repetitive. I don't remember writing too much of this chapter since it was a month ago, but I do remember using my thesaurus and dictionary a lot.

((Hopefully you guys have found the commonality between all of Edward's POVs. If not, shame!))