Part Four of Nine.
Pointless as Part Three was, here is Part Four:
Snape began to walk the road, dripping lake-water as he went. Vision failed him because his hair was covering his eyes even more that usual. Due to it's wetness, it was stuck to his face. The grease didn't help either. He would have dried himself magically had he not discovered a week ago that Bellatrix had stolen his wand….not to do magic…oh no, her wand was far superior to his…and pink…but to serve her bulimic ambitions. EWW…I KNOW! But how else can we explain why Snape didn't simply dry himself by magic? Would we say that the horse was in fact an animagus, Moaning Myrtle perhaps, who stole the wand and used her animagus form and Harry Potter's new-found insanity and obsession with horses to serve her dark purposes?
Snape walked for what felt like hours. The road was filled with twists, bats, drug-dealers trying to sell their wares and signposts that seemed to lead to places that didn't exist, e.g. Voldemort's Conscience, Draco Malfoy's Brain, Snoozeland, ect. These are what the signs said. They led to brick walls…dead ends…nowhere..
Finally, Snape came across an old inn called ' Sybil's Tea-Leaves'. It seems the signs were a marketing ploy.
" Finally! Some rest, food….Women!" Snape said out loud as he does very often for lack of conversation with other people.
He needed to feed his addictions and the inn was also a brothel.
When he knocked on the shawl-covered door, which emitted a farting noise, a woman in many shawls and massive glasses greeted him. The place was deserted. Tumbleweed blew across the room.
"Sorry about that noise. The bell must be broken." The woman said.
Snape: A room. For the night. And some food please.
Sybil: Food I can help you with…handsome man…but a bed of you're own..
Tramp: But miss there is…
Sybil: Not now, Ginerva!
Tramp: Yes, miss.
Sybil: Would you mind sharing…chivalrous rogue…with me?
Snape: Not at all. But I may warn you. Sex deprived for too long…and I might just jump you.
Sybil: Well…I wouldn't mind if you would…I can give you a discount on the room if you would…
Snape: Sold.
Thus, he was fed….strawberries, cream, butterbeer, chicken, more strawberries, grapes, roast potatoes (his favourite), Sherbert Lemons, carrots, chocolate, beef, chocolate, tea, cream, coffee, buterbeer. In that order. Then Sybil led Snape to a Barbie covered room (honestly) and attended to Sev's other needs…those I don't need to disclose…use you're imaginations people!
Before he left the next morning, Snape had truly made his bed-both literally (as Snape hated an unmade bed) and, well,…
Sybil was with child.