Chapter 1

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

2013

She yawned and rolled over as she slowly opened her eyes. She raised her arms over her head and stretched her body as she looked over at the other side of the bed. It was empty.

"Good morning."

Her head snapped up at the sound of Kai's voice and she found herself looking up at his smiling face. He had his back to the large window in their bedroom. The sun's glow behind him made him look almost ethereal.

She smiled back. "Good morning."

Kai gestured for her to come join him. "Come look at the sunrise, it's so beautiful this morning!"

She laughed. "You say that every morning, Kai," she said as she got up. She walked over to stand beside him and looked out the window. He put his arm around her and he pulled her close. A slow smile spread over her face and she sighed in contentment.

"But of course you were right. It's absolutely breathtaking!"

He kissed the top of her head. "Yes it is. But it's not nearly as breathtaking as you are."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Kai, I just woke up. I'm all disheveled, my hair is a mess…. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet!"

He put his index finger under her chin and moved her face in the direction of his own. "You always look beautiful to me."

She blushed furiously and gave a tiny smile. "Kai."

He slowly lowered his head and gently laid his lips on hers.

As he pulled away, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her right ear. She smiled dreamily into his eyes, but Kai's face remained serious.

"I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to know-"

"Kai, it's okay. I know that, really! You mean a lot to me, too."

He laughed. "Don't interrupt me, I made a promise to myself that I would live every day to the fullest." His face turned serious as he looked out the window. "And that includes letting you know how I feel about you and how much I appreciate you. I never want you to forget or even doubt my feelings for you. You mean everything to me."

She looked out the window as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Kai looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Did I upset you?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all. I'm just happy, Kai." She smiled up at him.

He smiled back as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so glad. I remember for the longest time I was worried that I would never see your smile again. While you did smile back then, it never seemed to quite reach your eyes. You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you are truly happy again, like you were when you first came to Okinawa. I love you. I remember for so long I had wanted to tell you that, but the timing was never right. Now I can't say it enough. I love you, Saya. I'll always love you."

She gave him a quick squeeze. "I love you, too, Kai. Always."

He pulled away to look at her face and frowned. It was becoming blurry. He blinked his eyes a few times. What was going on? She was moving her mouth, but he couldn't hear what she was saying. He started to panic as he drew in a couple of deep breaths.

"Saya, what's happening?!" He gripped her arms and gave her a light shake. She was starting to slip away from him.

"Saya? Saya!"

He heard a tinny voice. It sounded so far away, so incredibly distant. Who was it? Where was it coming from? What were they saying?

"Kai. Kai. Kai! Wake up, Kai! We're hungry, it's time for breakfast!"

He opened one eye and found himself looking at the smiling face of one of his little girls. He gave her a sad smile. So. It had just been a dream. His heart hurt a little with the realization. He brought up his right hand up to rub at his chest, as if that would make the pain go away. Saya was still sleeping and would not wake up for another twenty-four years.

"Kai? What's wrong? Are you going to make us breakfast?"

Kai turned towards the voice on the other side of his bed and smiled. He reached out and stroked the hair of his other little girl, Asuka. The first syllable of her name meant, "tomorrow." He had chosen this name for her because as much as he missed Saya, he was very happy that she had chosen to live on today, for tomorrow. Even if her tomorrow was very far away.

Then the other little girl tugged on his hand. "Come on, Kai!"

He looked over at Manami. The first syllable of her name meant, "love" and "affection." The second syllable of her name meant, "ocean." Saya had loved the ocean. Every time he went to the beach, he would remember a happy moment he had had with Saya there.

"Kai!" cried Asuka, impatiently.

That brought him back. "Asuka," he said sternly, "how many times do I have to tell you to call me 'dad?'"

She beamed at him, pleased that he had finally responded. "Sorry, Kai! Okay, let's eat!"

Kai laughed. "Alright, alright," he said as he got out of bed, "I'll make us something to eat. How about a Western style breakfast?"

"Sausage!" cried Manami.

"Yea!" said Asuka.

"Sausage it is, then. How about some toast as well?" asked Kai.

Both girls nodded vigorously.

Kai took out the sausage and bread, turned on the stove, and took out a pan. "We have the day off today since it's a Sunday. Would you girls like to go to the ocean today?"

"Yea! Let's build a sandcastle!"

After breakfast, they headed to the beach. The girls settled down in a spot where the waves were lapping the shore so they could use the wet sand to build sandcastles.

"Look, Kai! Look what I did!"

"Me, too, Kai! Look!"

Kai looked at the two lopsided, dribbled sandcastles the girls were building. "Very nice, girls!" He gave them a thumbs up.

They beamed at him and continued to dribble more sand on top of their sandcastles.

Kai stared out at the ocean. He closed his eyes and felt the sun warm his face. A slight breeze tousled his somewhat shaggy hair and he felt at peace.

Saya. He remembered that night long ago when he had told Saya what "nankurunaisa" meant. It had happened right here, sitting on the sand and staring out at the ocean. Whatever will be, will be. Memories of Saya brought him back to the dream he had last night. It had seemed so real. So incredibly real. He had to go to Saya's grave, and he wanted to go alone. He took out his cell phone and dialed Kaori's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kaori. I have a favor to ask of you."

Kaori happily agreed to watch the twins. He had known that she would. As Saya's best friend, she loved to think of herself as the girls' aunt.

As he dropped the twins off at Kaori's, he said, "Thanks again, Kaori. I just really had to-"

She smiled warmly. "It's okay, Kai. No need to explain." She lightly touched his left arm. "I understand," she said softly. Kaori had figured out his true feelings for Saya long ago.

Kai was lost in his thoughts and felt as if he was on auto-pilot as he rode his motorcycle over to Saya's grave. He had a promise to fulfill. It was true that he had been living his life to the fullest every day. But there was one thing that he had not been doing. He hadn't been telling Saya how he felt about her. Even though he knew that she would not be able to hear him, he wanted to tell her that he loved her for the first time.

He parked his bike and began to walk up the long set of stairs. When he reached the top, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, took a deep breath, and walked through the entrance of the tomb.

"Saya," he said softly, "I miss you so much. I think of you every single day. The girls are still doing well. They are growing up so fast, it seems! They are six years old already. Can you believe it? We went to the ocean today and the girls built sandcastles. It was a wonderful day. All it was missing, was you. Kaori is watching them right now. As I've told you before, she absolutely loves them and thinks of herself as their aunt. David, Julia, and their son are doing well. Sean is five years old, and one of the girls' favorite playmates. Speaking of the girls, I'm sorry that I didn't bring them with me today. But I wanted to speak to you alone."

Kai paused as he felt a tightening in his chest. He slowly breathed in and out, trying to ease the slight pain. His eyes watered a little and he swiped a stray tear that had managed to escape. "I had a dream last night, Saya. It felt so real. It didn't feel like a dream, and yet at the same time it did because I realized that it was a dream that I've had for myself for a long time now."

He took another deep breath. "I dreamt that you were awake. It was as if you had never fallen into a deep sleep. We were together, Saya. I mean we were really together. I also dreamt that I told you something really important. Do you remember that I promised that I would live every day to the fullest? Well, that includes telling you how I feel about you. And I know what you're thinking. I know that I've told you every day how much I miss you and care about you. But I've never really told you about my true feelings for you. I love you, Saya. I know you know that I love you, but I mean that I'm in love with you. You mean everything to me. My heart belongs to you, and I will never love another the way that I love you."

Kai raised a shaky hand and gently touched the cocoon that Saya was sleeping in. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. A small weight felt as if it had been lifted from his shoulders. He had finally told Saya how he really felt about her. Even though he knew she was sleeping and couldn't hear him, it still felt good to tell her.

He sighed and slowly opened his eyes. As he did, something to the right of the cocoon caught his eye. There was something hidden in the shadows. He squinted and moved closer to it. As he realized what it was, his eyes widened in shock. It was a rose. A pale, pink rose with a familiar blue ribbon tied in a bow around the stem.

Oh my God. That's Haji's ribbon, Kai thought. But it can't be! It was true that no one knew for sure whether or not Haji was alive. But Kai had always assumed that Haji had died. Kai had witnessed Haji survive the impossible, but he did not see how he could have survived the bombing of the Metropolitan Opera House that wiped out a large amount of the Delta series and what was assumed to be all of the Corpse Corps.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kai thought he saw a shadow move. Saya? No, it couldn't be. She was sleeping. He quickly whipped his body around, ready to defend himself. And he got his second shock for the night.

"Hello, Kai."