In Which I am "Kidnapped"

Lights aura: Hello peoples! I'm back with a new chappie! I hope we haven't kept you waiting too long. I had trouble convincing Amu from coming out from under the bed. (glares at Amu)

Amu: (eye twitch) so scary… there were so many cats… They were everywhere and… they touched me…

Lights aura: he, he, I probably shouldn't have forced her to watch Cats…

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I only own Kairi, Momo, and Amu.

When I regained consciousness, my body ached all over. I felt like I had been in one of those Wile E. Coyote cartoons where the coyote gets run over by a train. I have to say, that now I feel sorry for the guy. I groaned as I tried to open my eyes. It felt like I had lead weights hanging on each eye lid. When I finally opened them, I found myself staring at Momo. He was walking back and forth on his hind legs as if he was in deep thought.

"This is bad, really bad," said a voice worriedly.

A shot up and immediately took in my surroundings. I was in a forest. The trees were tightly packed together casting a dim light. Except for a couple of birds, the only human around was me. Who could have spoken? I wondered.

"Testing, testing. One, two, three," the same voice said from behind me.

I whirled around, but all I saw was Momo staring at me intently.

I shook my head as I rubbed my forehead. "I must be going crazy. I'm hearing voices." I glanced down at Momo who wore what looked like an amused expression. Momo's lips moved and the voice spoke once more.

"Actually, you only heard one voice, mine."

It was then that I realized that Momo could speak.

"Ah!" I screamed as I fell on my butt and started to back away from him. "A talking monkey."

Momo rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's not that big of a deal. I've been able to talk all my life."

"Then how come you've never talked before?" I asked as I stared at him suspiciously.

He looked at me as if I were an idiot. "Because, if you humans found out I could talk, then you would slap me on a dissecting table quicker than you could say Bob's me uncle. Now do you think I would speak if I had that to look forward to?"

I shook my head. It was all I could do to keep from screaming again. It seemed I had all the proof I needed to show why I dislike monkeys. Not only were they smelly and creepy but also they were smart and sneaky.

Momo's voice interrupted my thoughts. "I still don't know how we got here. It must have been that harp's doing."

I followed his gaze to where the harp was. It was sitting innocently on a flat rock nearby. I had completely forgotten about it until then. As I remembered what happened, I asked Momo, "I bet that weird old lady had something to do with this. Weren't you the pet of that lady?"

Momo looked offended. "As if! I would never subject myself to the lowly title of a pet. Plus, I have never seen her in my entire life!"

I frowned. This predicament kept getting weirder by the minute. "So why were you in the forest."

Momo shifted from one foot to the other. "I was looking for something."

I glanced back at the harp again. "I wonder what's so special about that harp? I mean the old lady nearly killed us for it and…" I froze in mid-sentence. "Oh, god."

Momo frowned. "What?"

"I'm talking to a monkey!" I said, horrified.

Momo fell over. "Will you get over it already, ape."

I glared. How dare he call me an ape! "My name is Kairi and I am not an ape." I crossed my arms and smirked. "In fact, if anyone is ape around here, it's you."

It was now Momo's turn to look horrified. "I beg your pardon! I am certainly not an ape. There is a major difference between apes and monkeys."

I raised an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"Monkeys have tails."

I nearly fell over. "Tails? That's your major difference? For Pete's sake, you're a miniature replica of an ape with an extra limb."

Momo frowned. "That's ridiculous!"

"No, do you know what's ridiculous?" I was practically shouting by then. "What's ridiculous is that I am in the middle of a strange forest having an argument with a talking monkey!" I walked over to the harp and scooped up it into my arms.

"Where do you think you are going?" Momo demanded.

"I'm finding a way out of this place!" I said as I began to walk away.

Momo sighed. "Wait up!" He yelled as he jumped and landed on my shoulder.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Riding on your shoulder" Momo said.

"Heck, no, you're walking, monkey boy."

"But," Momo protested.

"Unlike pirates, I do not like living creatures sitting on my shoulder so get off."

Momo let out a sigh as he slid of shoulder and landed on the ground. "Just try not to walk fast." He grumbled.

"So where exactly are we?" I asked. Momo and I had been walking for thirty minutes and were still completely lost. I hate that I have a horrible sense of direction. I didn't think it would ever be a problem. Man, had I been wrong.

Momo scrunched his brow in concentration. "If I remember correctly, I think we're in the feudal era."

I stopped in my tracks. "Did you say the feudal era, as in five thousand years in the past?"

Momo nodded. "Yes, from the greenery and the tidbits I've heard from animals in the forest. I think we must be in that time."

I laughed slightly, "Okay, just one question. How the heck could we go five thousand years into the past?"

Momo inclined his head. "The harp, of course."

I glanced at the harp. "This instrument? All it can do is play music. It would never be able to transport us to the past."

"And a monkey can only eat bananas and make grunting noises. It could never learn how to speak English."

Well, he did have a point there.

Before I could reply, I lost my footing and fell forward. If you haven't figured out already, grace was never one of my virtues. Luck, apparently, wasn't one either since the place where I decided to fall happened to be at the top of a big hill that towered over a river.

Everything rushed by in a blur then I felt myself slamming into something brown and furry. I sent both it and me into the river.

I now really wish I was Irish.

"Kairi, are you okay?" Momo asked when he finally reached me.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I said as I stood up. "Just a little wet."

I glanced down at the thing that had cushioned my fall and gasped. It turned out that the thing I had run into was a man. He had blue eyes and long black hair that he pulled up in a ponytail with a brown headband. His outfit consisted of a brown fur garb that made him look like he was some sort of Tarzan.

"I'm so sorry!" I said as I went to over and offered my hand to help him up.

He knocked it aside and said angrily. "Why the heck did you run into me?"

I glared. "Oh, I don't know I just thought, oh look there's a guy walking by. I wonder what would happen if I ran into him." I know I knocked him in the water but he didn't have to be rude about it.

He quickly glanced over me. "You're not from around here, are you?"

I don't know if the whole be transported into the past and arguing with a monkey and then with a Tarzan guy caused it but I was in a bad mood. So instead of smoothing things over, what pops out of my mouth instead was. "Well, if everyone dresses as crazy as you do around here, then no, I guess I'm not."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Do you know who you are talking too?"

"Well, no seeing as how you've never told me your name" I retorted.

He clinched his fists then relaxed. "You know a while ago I would have killed you for that but ever since I met my one true love, Kagome, I have vowed not to hurt another human." His eyes softened.

"Her last name wouldn't happen to be Higurashi would it?" I asked curiously.

His eyes widened in surprise. "You know her?"

"Well, yeah, she's in my class," I said, "Though, I don't talk to her much. Sira's the one who generally talks to her…"

"Do you mean Sira Rose?" He asked as his eyes darkened.

It was my turn to look surprised. "Yeah, that's her. She's my best friend, why?"

The man grinned. "Because if I kidnap you then she'll have to turn over Kal-El."

Momo and I exchanged looks.

"Fat chance, buddy, there's no way I'm going with you." I said.

He smirked. "Frankly, you don't have a choice in the matter."

"Oh yes I do." I said. "It's called walking away, so see ya!" Momo and I began to walk away.

"Quit bluffing. I know you have no idea where you are going," he called.

I stopped in my tracks. Damn, how did he figure that out? I whirled around and glared at him. "Yes, I do."

His smirk grew bigger. "Then where is Toygoga Village?"

I glanced at Momo who shrugged his shoulders. You know, it's hard to keep a bluff when you have no idea what you talking about. "It's over there" I said as I whirled around in a circle nearly causing myself to fall over again.

The man laughed. "Alright, have fun getting out of this forest. Try not to get eaten by a demon." He turned and began to walk away.

I looked at Momo horrified. No one said that there were demons around here.

"Maybe" Momo began tentatively. "We should go along with him, for now."

"Crud," I said as I bit my lip. "Wait up!" I called as Momo and I raced after the man.

And that was how I became kidnapped. I have sunk to an all new low…

Lights aura: Well, that's the end of this chappie! Are you feeling any better?

Amu: (eye twitch) After many years of therapy I may return to my old self.

Lights aura: hmm, well I can't afford that so how about a nice pie. (gives Amu a pie)

Amu: Ah! Pie! (hugs pie) Where have you been all my life?

Lights aura: ...you are so weird…

Now Back by popular demand it's the (drum roll) Incase You Didn't Know Section! (applauds insanely)

Incase You Didn't Know:

1) I felt like I had been in one of those Wile E. Coyote cartoons where the coyote gets run over by a train: is a reference to the old Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon where the coyote tries and fails to catch the roadrunner. Poor guy, when will he ever learn that he should never use Acme products…

2) I now really wish I was Irish: is a reference to the Irish culture. Irish people were known to have the tons of luck (a.k.a. the luck of the Irish). Some examples would be the Blarney stone and the many tales of leprechauns.

3) made him look like he was some sort of Tarzan: is a reference to the famous novel Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs. It's about a man who is raised by apes. Disney made a movie out of it which I think is ten times better than the book.

Well, that's it for now. Please remember to READ and REVIEW! ลาก่อน until next chappie!