In Which I am Attacked…Again
Lights aura: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all your reviews! (squeals) You make me so happy!
Amu: (playing with Cheshire Cat Toy) Ha! Ha! So you have come back for revenge, have you? (Stomps on Cheshire Cat toy) How do you like them apples?
Lights aura: …Yeah, MiyukiWolfire gave Amu a brand new Cheshire Cat toy and, well, does Amu still not like the Cheshire Cat? I think you can probably tell what the answer is…
Amu: (drops Cheshire Cat toy on ground) What? You dare to mock me, again? (growls) Time to die!
Lights aura:…I am experiencing déjà vu all over again…
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I only own Kairi, Momo, and my Cheshire Cat hating wolf, Amu. (chases after Amu) Don't you dare kill another toy, Amu!
"I have decided, out of the goodness of my heart, to help you win Kagome over" I declared to Kouga. After we had eaten breakfast, apples once again, we began our journey. An hour into our journey, I became really bored. Therefore I had to find something to occupy my mind.
"What?" Kouga asked confused. "Why would I need your help in winning Kagome over?" His eyes became misty again. "She's …"
"I know something really mushy romantic fluff that will make me want to puke," I interrupted.
Both Momo and Kouga gave me weird looks on that one.
I ignored them as I continued. "Look, I am a human girl therefore I know what human girls like. I'm like a walking encyclopedia."
Kouga still looked skeptical. "And why would you want to help me?"
I smiled sweetly. "Like I said, I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart."
"I think she is doing it because she's bored" Momo muttered.
I casually kicked some dirt in his direction.
Kouga let out a sigh. "Fine."
I squealed with delight. "Yeah, this is going to be so fun!"
"You are so weird," Momo muttered.
"Oh you really think that?" I said pretending I was hurt, "And here I was about to ask you if you wanted to ride my shoulder."
"You are the most wonderful person in the world!" Momo said sweetly.
"Too late, I changed my mind," I said with an evil grin.
"I hate you" Momo mumbled.
Satisfied with Momo's reaction I turned my attention back to Kouga. "First off, a great way to impress a girl is to give her roses."
Kouga raised an eyebrow. "Roses? Why the heck would I want to give her roses?" Kouga asked with a glare. "They have thorns and they're ugly."
I nearly choked on air when I heard that one. "What do you mean they're ugly? Hey, I might not be a romantic but even I would swoon if someone handed me roses. Besides all the guys are doing it. Prince Charming, Romeo, Chris Evans… "
"Chris who?" Kouga asked.
"Actually, I don't know if he gives roses or not but I always like to daydream that he would give me roses, ask me to marry him, and have all his fan girls die of jealously."
"I really did not need to know that" Momo said sarcastically.
"I still think roses are pointless. They just sit in the same spot all day long." Kouga said.
"Hey, who's the girl here?" I asked with one eyebrow raised.
"You are," Kouga mumbled.
"So I'm right" I said with satisfaction.
We were silent for a couple of minutes.
"I still think roses suck." Kouga muttered.
I lost my patience. "They do not!" I said angrily.
"Do to!" Kouga said. He seemed to be just as angry as I was.
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
"Uh, guys," Momo said hesitantly, "Hate to interrupt your immature bickering but there is a spider demon in front of us that looks very hungry."
"What?" We both said as we turned our gazes forward.
Indeed, the evil spider demon had returned. I guess the vines didn't hold her as long as I had previously anticipated. Stupid lady luck! Why do you hate me so!
"Well, look at who I found" The spider demon hissed in her high annoying voice. "I do so enjoy tearing my play things to shreds." Geez, this demon is more disturbing than a Saw movie.
"Not today, you won't" Kouga said as he stepped in front of Momo and me. Cracking his knuckles, he said with a grin. "Cause today I'm going to kick your ass."
Before the spider demon could react, Kouga kicked her. The force of his kick was so strong that it knocked a hole through the spider. She laid in a crumpled heap a couple of feet away, twitching slightly.
Kouga grinned. "Now, that that's over with…"
"Ew, that is so gross! You knocked a freakin hole in her" I interrupted. "Gross! Gross! Gross! Gross!" I said as I failed my arms around to emphasize my disgust.
Momo laughed awkwardly. I think he was slightly worried that I had gone insane.
Kouga rolled his eyes. "I just saved your butt, and all you can say is how gross I am?"
"Gross! Gross! Gross!" I said completely ignoring him, "Gross! Gross! Why are your legs glowing? Gross! Gross! Gross!"
Kouga looked at me in surprise. "Wait, are you saying you can sense to the Shikon Jewel shards in my legs?"
I stopped my tirade to look at him in confusion. "Yeah, don't know what those are but if you are asking if I saw the glowing light things in your legs a moment ago then yes I did."
"We are standing next to a corpse" Momo muttered as he eyed the corpse suspiciously.
"Can you see them now?" He asked.
"A big creepy corpse" Momo added.
I squinted at Kouga's legs. "Nope, all I see are your gross spider gusts covered legs."
"Weird," Kouga said completely ignoring my rude comment.
"Blame the harp" I said as I motioned to it. "It always makes me feel better."
"Though I would love to stay and continue this subject don't you think we should be moving now" Momo asked as he cast a nervous glance at the spider demon's twitching corpse. "I really don't want to be here if that thing decides to come back to life."
"Oh, attack of the spider zombie" I said in a spooky voice. "Sounds like a bad horror movie."
Kouga looked at me in confusion.
I sighed and shook my head. "Never mind."
We decided to make camp later that evening. Momo and I started the fire while Kouga went out to look for food. Something, I wasn't too happy about…
"I'm back with food!" Kouga said as he entered the campsite.
"I swear, Kouga, if you have brought another animal carcass I will become a vegetarian for the rest of my life." I said with a glare.
"I think you'll forgive me" He said as he held up two already cleaned and gutted fish.
"Yes, they aren't staring at me with lifeless eyes! I give you ten points for being gentlemanly." I said happily.
"Now there is a points scale?" Momo asked sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.
I ignored him. "How about we cook those fish now?"
The fish was absolutely delicious. It was the best food I had ever had but that reasoning could be because I hadn't eaten for a day and a half. As I stared at my fish, an important question came to my mind. "Hey Kouga? I have a very important question to ask you."
Kouga looked at me expectantly. "What?"
"If you were a fish, what type of fish would you be?"
Momo fell over as Kouga stared at me as if I were an idiot. "Why the hell would I want to be a fish?"
"I'm speaking hypothetically." I explained, "I need to get to know you better if I'm going to help you win over Kagome."
"So in order to get to know me better, you need to know what type of fish I would want to be?"
I nodded.
"That's stupid." Kouga said with a glare.
I rolled my eyes. "Well, that question is a lot more interesting than what's your favorite color, or where were you born, or what's your favorite food? I was trying to ask an interesting question."
Kouga continued to stare at me as if I were an idiot. Momo still hadn't recovered from the shock and was twitching on the ground.
I sighed. "Look, I'll start. If I were a fish I would like to be a koi. They're really beautiful, elegant, and are considered to be magical. Now the fish you would like to be…" I trailed off and waited for his answer.
"I would not want to be a fish because fish are stupid and get eaten." Kouga said with finality.
I rolled my eyes again. "Ugh! I give up." I stood up and turned around. My gaze landed on Momo. "Momo, why are you still on the ground?"
"I thought I would take some time out of the day to admire its beauty."
I blinked a couple of times.
"It was sarcasm" Momo said bitterly as he stood up.
I shrugged as I went to find a place to sleep.
That night, I had another weird dream.
"This is so boring," I muttered to myself. I was in a long gray stoned hall. "When will they see me?" I added as I glanced at the harp in my hands.
"Um, excuse me?" a voice said from behind me.
I whirled around and found myself staring at a girl my age. She wore a long silver dress, tiara, and looked a whole lot like Sira. My dream self raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Yes?"
"You're the musician, aren't you?" She asked.
I nodded. "Yes, I am and you are the lord's daughter, right?"
She smiled mischievously. "Aw, did the tiara give it away?" She quickly sobered up. "But seriously, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor."
"And what favor would that be?" I asked cautiously.
She must have sensed my hesitation because she quickly said. "Oh, nothing too big. I was wondering if you could tell me about your travels. I've heard you've been to many places…" She trailed off as a dreamy look filled her eyes.
"And why would you be interested in that?" I asked curiously.
The girl snapped out of her daydreams and said firmly. "I am stuck in this stupid castle all day long because my father thinks I will get killed if I stepped out of his lands. I thought that if you told me your stories that I could some how live vicariously through you until I can think of a way to escape."
With a grin, I said, "I think we are going to become good friends while I'm here."
I woke up to something poking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see a very furry face staring back at me. "AH!" I shrieked as I threw the creature off me.
"Geez!" Momo exclaimed as he pushed himself off the ground. "Why did you have to throw me so hard?"
I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Sorry, Momo. When I was little, my cousin put his pet tarantula on me when I was sleeping. He got a laugh while I was mentally scarred for the rest of my life."
"Don't poke you to wake you up" Momo muttered, "Got it."
After we grabbed our things, we headed out once more.
Two hours later, and I was bored out of my mind. I mean how big can a forest be? It was taking forever! I decided that desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Hey Kouga?"
"What?" He asked as he turned towards me.
"You remind me of a man" I said simply.
He frowned in confusion. "What man?"
"A man with the power" I said with a straight face.
"What power?"
"The power of voodoo."
Kouga was really confused by this time. "Who do?"
"You do" I responded.
"Do what?"
"You remind me of a man."
"What man?"
"A man with the power."
"What power?"
"The power of voodoo."
He was really getting ticked by this time. "Who do?"
"You do."
"Do what!"
"You remind me of a man."
"Cut it out, Kairi!" Kouga yelled. "What the hell are you trying to pull?"
"Nothing," I said innocently, "I was bored so I was trying to entertain myself."
Momo snorted as Kouga became red in the face. "Why I ought to…" He stopped as he sniffed the air. A grin spread across his face.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"My pack mates are near by" He said. "Come on!" He raced off ahead.
"Uh, pack mates?" Momo asked as he looked at me hesitantly.
"Let's just hope they aren't as weird as he is." I said as we chased after him.
Lights aura: Well, that's the end of the chappie. Thanks to MiyukiWolfire, Rambonata, and Spidey meets Wizard-Thief for reviewing last chappie. You all rock!
Amu: (panting and glaring at Cheshire Cat toy) …why…won't…you…die….
Lights aura: (whispers) Oh, I probably should have told her that one would be hard to tear up. Whoops!
Amu: (panting)…you…may…have…one…the…battle…but…you…have…not…one…the…war… (collapses onto floor)
Lights aura: Ha, ha, ha… okay I probably should go check to see if she is alright. So see ya next chappie!
Incase You Didn't Know:
1) Chris Evans: is a reference to an actor from Hollywood. He was the one who played the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four and starred in many other movies. He is so freakin cool!
2) Stupid lady luck: is a reference to the gambler's superstition that luck is a lady. Yeah, she and I have never been good friends for some reason…
3) more disturbing than a Saw movie: is a reference to the famous Halloween series, Saw. I have never seen them personally but I've heard they are the most freakin disturbing/scary thing that you will ever see in your life. Yeah, I don't do scary movies...
4) You remind me of a man… is a reference to a 1947 movie called the Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer with Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, and an older version of Shirley Temple. The movie is hilarious and I especially love the "you remind me of a man" scene.
That's it for now. Please remember to READ and REVIEW! Veloma until next chappie!