(Chapter Sixteen - Part Two)
"I believe it is a matter of national importance, my dear Zelda." Ruto's voice is sweet and soft but I sense an undercurrent of threat there. "Your people must be assured that their future Queen is who she says she is. Have you had any visions yet?"
Ruto knows the answer to this and she has asked me the same question every day since I have been here. I feel like I am a child again, being reprimanded by my tutors. I do not accuse Ruto of bullying me, but she is certainly intimidating. Rheyan stands by her side, I wonder what he makes of his aunts belligerence towards me. I shake my head.
"Yet you claim to have the power to interpret your sister's vision earlier today. Is that truly the case, I wonder?"
I wish Link was here, not just because he is quite happy to take up the cudgels in my defence, but also because just having him nearby gives me the courage to stand up to this sort of thing. If he were here, I would not be standing meekly before this lesser Queen, head bowed as if I am truly guilty of a crime. I would not accept her judgement over me, rather I would assert my lineage and demand her respect. At least I would not tremble in her presence.
"My sister made a very foolish accusation." I am surprised that my voice is still relatively calm, considering my nerves are on end. "If what she saw was truly a vision, then it is very foolish for her to make its contents known to anybody other than those it concerns."
Queen Ruto considers this, one slender hand resting on her chin, her aqua eyes resting on me. I do not like this manner of scrutiny. I feel that I am being appraised.
"I cannot deny, my dear, that rumours of your unbecoming conduct have pervaded even the waters of the Zora River." She announces. Her tone may be kind, but again, I know she is threatening me.
"What do you mean?"
"It is quite apparent to all that observe you that you are besotted with your servant." She smiles triumphantly as a telltale flush tinges my cheeks, in fact, it travels from my cheeks right down to my toes. I deny the accusation, of course. I deny it fervently. Ruto discounts my words with a sneer.
"I can see that he is a handsome boy." She allows me this. "But he is a penniless farmer. You cannot expect that anyone would countenance your relationship with him."
"There is no relationship to be countenanced." I feel my temper rising with every passing moment. I hate being embarrassed but I hate it more when people assume that I could abandon my duty so recklessly. No matter what my feelings are, I can never be with Link.
"Even if you choose to deny it, Princess Zelda," She continues, in that same sweet, ominous tone, "No one could possibly deny that the boy is in love with you."
Link is in love with me - is that what people think? How is it that I can only think 'how I wish it were true'? I cannot stop the slight smile I feel inside me from appearing on my face.
"He is not." I manage to retort.
"He is." Rheyan speaks up. When I look at him, I see that he looks as serene and sure as ever. Somehow, this only builds up the excitement in my chest, if Rheyan thinks it is so, then surely there is some truth in it. "It is quite clear from the way he looks at you."
If it is so clear then why have I not…oh… so that is what that hurt look means. He is regretting something that can never be his. I want to go find him this instant and-
Rheyan's voice interrupts my thoughts of exactly what I would like to ask Link and how he would react to the said questions. "Of course, Link will not openly admit to this. How could he when it would cost him his life? But he has been betrayed by his actions. Not one of the Zora would believe that you were not having an illicit affair with him after what he did."
"What did he do?" I try to mask the breathlessness I feel, for I am determined to refrain from get carried away by this rumour. But I desperately want to know everything – I am soaking up their words like a sponge.
"When you were imprisoned, Zelda, it was Link that fought to get you out. He barely ate or slept and constantly chided our heels to get you released. Those were not the actions of a guard, or even a friend. His actions were those of a lover and your response to him was quite revealing. It is not only me who has seen the way you get lost in one another's eyes." Rheyan is as imperturbable as ever.
"Oh…" The word forms in my mouth but I am not entirely sure if I answer Rheyan or not. I think I am just standing here, staring at him.
Ruto smirks at me, I cannot say that I am comfortable. "Your father almost lost his throne the last time one of your family members had an illicit affair, Princess. I believe that one more scandal would be enough to force the people to lose confidence in him completely. He could not control his wife. He cannot control his daughter. If he cannot control those nearest to him, how can he care for such a great nation as Hyrule?"
I study her face closely, but it is a mask. She smiles blandly at me and leaves her words to soak in for a long moment. "Your power hangs on a thread. If it becomes known what you are doing, then you will lose this game."
"Are you threatening me?" I ask, deciding to take the goat by the horns, as it were.
Her tinkling laugh fills her chamber, reverberating around my head. "Threatening you? What a ridiculous notion. I am trying to rebuild the divides in our nation. I am warning you of a calamity that only you can avert." She folds her hands and smiles up at me. More than ever, I wish that Link were at my side now. Something in those eyes of hers bodes ill for me. "But of course, if you are truly wise – you would already know this, would you not?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"The Triforce of Wisdom grants whoever bears it not only wisdom but also the gift of foresight. If you cannot see the disaster looming ahead of you then I cannot believe that you are indeed are its bearer." She smiles smugly at me. "Of course, you never believed yourself, did you? After all, you deny the existence of the Goddesses themselves, so why would you believe in the relic of their power."
"What?" I ask. I feel an all to familiar sense of panic rising in my stomach. How did she know that? "Where did you hear such a thing?"
"Oh, I have my sources." She smirks again. "It remains to be seen whether you have aptitude enough to steer your way through this course. Either way, the throne of Hyrule is in very dangerous territory – you are going to cause its downfall, just like your mother did. Either your indecent relationship with your slave or your father's lies about your destiny will destroy your country. The question is, whether I will help you or not."
I have heard that sometimes shock can stun ones body into complete inactivity, to the extent that one cannot move or speak. Until this moment, I did not believe it to be true, but I am incapable of speech or movement. I can only stare at this proud Zora Queen. I want to refute her allegations, to censure her attitude towards me. After all, my status is greater than hers. But I cannot. Her words are terrible and insolent but they have struck a chord within me.
I am going to lose Hyrule.
I am going to lose everything I love.
My right hand tingles for the first time in a long time but when I glance down, there is nothing there – no sign, no triangle, no mark that sets me apart as different from anyone else. If I do not have the Triforce, as Ruto asserts, then I am not Zelda.
Then who am I? I hear Ruto's laughter ringing in my ears as I flee from the room.
I see their mocking faces as I sprint past. The Zora must have doubted me from the beginning. Why should they not? After all, they had the true heiress in their midst. I try to tell myself that I do not care, but I do. I run through the silver halls, pushing past people. I feel tears stinging my eyes. I am a failure. I am not strong at all. I am a weakling, just like I always suspected, and Ruto is right. I am going to lose Hyrule.
Somehow I have run to the altar where Link prayed earlier. I did not mean to come here, but now that I look around, I see it was a good choice. There is nobody here. The water trickling across the floor makes a soothing noise and I feel my anger and hurt fading away. It was not the nature of Ruto's words that upset me, but the way they were delivered. Once I saw that she had no faith in me, I began to realise that nobody else would trust me either. How can I expect my people to follow a course I myself will not tread?
Not for the first time, I almost wish I could have some blind devotion to the unknown gods. I wish that I could see what it is in me, if anything, that others seem to see in abundance. I want to see the power of the Triforce on my hand.
My fingers are slender and my skin pale, as much as I will it to be so, there is no golden glitter forming on the back of my right, or left, hand. Even when I stand here chanting 'appear, appear' there is nothing.
I am not Zelda then. I am just another person.
So where does this leave me? My eyes are slowly beginning to open to the deception that has been played out before me. If I am not Zelda, then my father and my mother knew this. So why was I proclaimed as 'the Princess of Destiny?' I imagine that Ruto knows the reason for this too. But I do not understand why.
In the real world, my eyes are screwed tightly shut. I will not weep and become weak. I will prove to everybody that I care not for this. I do not care that I am just another girl. I do not care that I am nothing special. I am just another lie in my father's court.
Nobody, least of all him shall ever see that deep down I desperately want to be anything but ordinary.
His footsteps are distant sounding. Perhaps I have drowned in the waters of this blasted Zora's Domain. Link will have to let me go, of course – I am nothing special. I am not the person he believed me to be. I have no meaning for him, I am just another Hylian – he is something else. And he is bound to protect the Princess of Destiny, the real Princess. It is what he was born for after all. He should not be wasting his time comforting me.
He cannot know the truth yet. Why else would he be standing before me, calling my name softly, trying to recall me to my surroundings?
"Princess?" He repeats, his voice is as calm and gentle as always but it does not sooth me. Rather, it makes me feel even worse. I am a fraud and I have to let him go. I am not entitled to win his affection. He only liked me because of his beliefs.
"What is the matter, Zelda?"
The way he says my name, with that Ordonian twist, is like music to my ears. I remember everything Ruto said about him and what people believe about us and know that I should really nip this affair in the bud. But when I see that he is so concerned about me, I really cannot. Instead, all I can do is prevent these stupid tears from forming in my eyes. "I am not what you think. It is Priya…" I manage to explain a little of my thoughts. Link just looks at me in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I do not have the Triforce." I snap, I just want him to go away and leave me be so I can wallow in this unusual misery for eternity. "I am not the Princess of Destiny."
"Who says that?"
"It is the truth." I say as I raise my hand to his eyes. Surely he is not so blind that he cannot see I am nothing. "I cannot perform Magic, I do not have visions and there is no sign of the Triforce on my hands. And I am certainly a fool."
His reaction is unexpected. As my hand waves in front of his face, he catches it midair and he laces his fingers through my own. I can feel his warmth and strength. This is typical Link. He is such a good friend and sweet person that I suppose he hates to see me upset, but when I find the courage to look back up at him, I only see compassion in his beautiful eyes. They are the same sky blue as always, and as always, his hair has found a way to smother his vision. He has a strange vulnerability about him but also a good deal of conviction. "You are wrong." He whispers gently.
"Why?" I hear myself voicing the question in my mind, "Why do you say that? I am not the person you should be protecting."
He smiles softly at me and touches my cheek lightly with his fingers. "I say it because I believe in you." He says. "I always have believed in you, Zelda."
"B-but." I choke on my tears and tear myself away from his comforting touch. I cannot bear to cry in front of him. I do not want him to see me break down. I do not want all my happy memories of our shared time sullied by this appalling revelation. I am not what he thinks; surely he has seen enough evidence to know that too? I may be Zelda in name, but I am not Zelda in deed.
I blink in surprise as I feel his hand touch my face again. Something about the way his fingers tremble as they touch my skin sends a delicious shiver right down my spine, making my toes curl. My eyes have become focussed on the lacing of his shirt at the neck. It is a simple, elegant design and if I concentrate on that, I might be able to quell the way my heart is thudding in my chest.
To be honest, I actually like this feeling of panic. I am standing barely a hair's breadth away from him, and although the only part of us that touches is his finger on my face, I feel like I am part of his soul. I am so very aware of him – the heat of his body, his scent, everything. In every way I can feel him. I can feel his soul talking to me in a way that no words could ever express. My whole body is tingling and throbbing in response to all these new emotions rushing through me. Emotions I can hardly recognise.
A new fear grips me – if I look up, will the spell on us break? I do not want this moment of comfort to end. My mind is leaning towards the unthinkable and my heart has long since run away with me. I gulp and take my chance. My eyes lift to his. I sigh in contentment at what I see there, yet at the same time my heartbeat strengthens, it beats so firmly that I fear it is audible.
His fingers trace a line down to my chin. His hands are so rough – nothing like the smooth courtiers that have approached me in the past – but I have never before felt such tenderness.
My whole body trembles with excitement. Unbidden, a thought of how foolish this behaviour is – how unacceptable it is - crosses my mind. I dismiss it recklessly, selfishly even. Right now, all that matters, in this entire world, is Link and I.
I think he believes that too. His eyes are filled with an unreadable intensity and I cannot look away.
"Why, why do you believe, Link?" I hear myself whisper.
He frowns in surprise as he hears my words and suddenly the moment is lost. His hand slips away from my face and he steps guiltily back.
Damn his correctness.
"I have my reasons." He replies simply, in that same soft, Ordonian accent that I dream of and a smile flickers across his face.
The moment is gone and I feel like there is a huge voice in my soul where he has been. He has retreated behind his mask of formality and I must retreat into my role as a Princess.
I try not to wish that, since I am nothing special, I could just be ordinary. I could just be Zelda and he could just be Link and we could just be any other young couple on the verge of discovering something incredible. I suppose I have been too silent, for Link looks worried. I meet his eyes again and know he can see the turmoil I am in.
"If it would put your mind at rest, we could return to your father. You can demand to hear the truth about your mother from him." He says, and after another awkward moment he adds, "We will…tell him that your prayers were…were a success."
I remember the purpose of my escape was to try to discover the wisdom within me to choose a suitable king for Hyrule. It is a shame that I am beginning to see that the best person for the job – the only man I could see as my husband – is this beautiful commoner standing before me. I suppose if I cannot have him, then it does not matter who I wed. I suppose I shall say I will wed Rheyan, it is the least offensive prospect for me. Though I do wonder what our heirs would look like.
I manage to smile at Link and nod in agreement. He is relieved and pretends to be fooled but I know he is not. He knows, as I do, that nothing compares to the disappointment of forcing your heart to reject another. Not even my father's lies can compare to the knowledge that I can never have Link.
I gulp and turn away from his intense gaze. "I think I need to be alone for a while." I lie.
He nods and I feel him leave me. Although I do not turn to watch him go, I know he looks back.
Finally a bit of Zelink interaction, eh? Please tell me what you think so far - is it going too slow? Do I ramble on too much? Are you still following the story? I.E. does it all still make sense?! Hit that review button and let me know...