ACT ONE- SCENE 1

( As the title screen disappears we open to an exterior shot of the Simpsons home, where Homer is checking the mail.)

HOMER (Tossing envelopes on the lawn with abandon): Bill, bill, jury duty, death threat, letter bomb… Ooh, Publisher's Clearing House!

(He tears the letter open, and his eyes widen progressively as he reads it. He turns and runs into the house.)

HOMER: Marge! MARGE!

(Marge slowly makes her way down the stairs, clad in her nightgown. It appears that Homer has woken her up.)

MARGE: (Groggily) Homer, it's five-thirty in the morning. Why are you awake this early on a Saturday? You should be sleeping. Or drinking beer in the kiddie pool. Why don't you do that? Yeah… ( Yawning, she begins to make her way back up the stairs.)

HOMER: But Marge, I can't sleep! I can finally drink beer in a big-people pool! We're freakin' rich!

(Marge turns, her eyes wide.)

MARGE: What?!

HOMER: We're rich! Rolling in the money! Just look at this letter!

(Giddily, he hands the PCH notice to Marge. Takes one look and sighs.)

MARGE: Homer, this is Publisher's Clearing House. It's a scam, designed to make you subscribe to a bunch of useless magazines so they can swindle you out of your money. I'm sorry, dear. We aren't rich.

HOMER: Oh. (looking dejected, he takes the letter from Marge.) Alright then.

MARGE: Oh, Homie, come to bed. We can snuggle.

HOMER: No, I'm not in the mood, I'll just go watch TV. ( He walks away, and Marge, yawning again, heads back up the stairs to go to bed.)

(Homer heads to the living room, flops down on the couch, and grabs the remote, and suddenly perks up as he turns the television on to see a made-for-TV movie titled Planet of the Bee Bimbos.)

HOMER: Ah, TV. Able to entertain me with B-movies and mindless violence, while educating me in the ways of B-movies and mindless violence. I truly am rich. I'm sorry I ever doubted it. (Pause) Oh well. Time to watch the movie. (The film is abruptly cut off by a special news broadcast.) D'oh! News? I don't wanna watch real things! Give me Bee Bimbos!

(Kent Brockman appears on the TV.)

BROCKMAN: We interrupt this broadcast of some terrible 1950's sci-fi film for this special bulletin. Power plant magnate C. Montgomery Burns has been negotiating a deal with the President and the Nuclear Safety Commission to expand the plant, in order to better accommodate the needs of this town's citizens.

HOMER: Woohoo! Possible pay raise and job openings!

BROCKMAN: However, this modification will come with a small price….wait, what? Did you idiot writers screw up again?! (Inaudible voice comes from off-screen.) What the hell do you mean he wants to destroy Springfield?! (Voice again) WHAT?!

(Brockman bristles for a moment, then composes himself again.)

BROCKMAN: In other news, a town meeting has been called tonight to discuss this new renovation plan.

(Brockman is replaced by a banner saying "Channel 6 News-Your Only Trustworthy news source!" and the movie continues.)

(Homer stares wide-eyed at the screen for a moment.)

HOMER: I can't believe it…(Pause)….there's a town meeting tonight? During All-Ape Movie Night?! HOW DARE THEY!!!!!

(He blinks for a second.)

HOMER: Wait…the town's going to be DESTROYED?! HOW DARE THEY!!!!!!

Okay, so that's the first scene of the first act. Bear in mind that if this sounds juvenile it's because it's one of the few scenes that wasn't rewritten from the original 2000 draft. Sue me, I couldn't think of a better beginning.