ACT ONE- SCENE TWO

(We cut from Homer on the couch to the Oval Office, where Burns is sitting, discussing his plan with current US president George W. Bush and Nuclear Safety Commissioner-Springfield Branch- Eugene Goldberg.)

BURNS: And so we add the final touches, and voila! A power plant that can cleanly and efficiently supply power to the entire country, thus adding to Republicans' wallets-(Burns winks and the other two men laugh)- and cutting energy surplus in half.

BUSH: I love it, Burnsie! Wish I coulda thought up something as…um…. nice as that. We get more money for the war on terror, and my approval rating will skyrocket! Oh, Daddy oughta be so proud of me.

GOLDBERG: I agree, Burns. This plan could show the world that nuclear power is the best way to go. But I do have one question.

BURNS: Hmm?

GOLDBERG: Regarding this town-Springfield- does anyone live there? Won't destroying it put thousands out of work and homeless?

BURNS: Oh, posh. We can relocate them quite easily. Besides, the town is an amalgam of corruption and filth. We Republicans would be shamed if such a horrid place was left standing, would we not?

(Bush and Goldberg frown almost simultaneously.)

GOLDBERG: Good point, Monty. So, when will we commence destruction of the town?

BURNS: Well….my schedule's full this week, what with enemies to eliminate and workers to lay off by the dozen… how about next Tuesday? We can wipe the town clean and have the new, improved plant ready by October.

BUSH: Sounds like a plan, ol' Burnsie. We'll commiserate destruction a week from today.

(Burns and Goldberg look at each other for a moment, open their mouths to correct the hapless world leader, and shrug dejectedly before nodding their heads in agreement.)

(We switch over to the town meeting in Springfield's City Hall, where nearly all of the town's residents are arguing over what to do about Burns' plan to destroy their home.)

(Mayor "Diamond Joe" Quimby steps up to the podium, flanked by two bodyguards.

QUIMBY: (Shouting over the crowd) Er, calm down, everyone. We need to discuss this situation in a, er, rational manner.

(Krusty the Clown stands up, waving a pitchfork.)

KRUSTY: Screw rational! This guy's tryin' to destroy our town! Let's mob the plant and tear it apart!

(Cries of "Yeah!" resound.)

(Moe joins in, brandishing his shotgun.)

MOE: Yeah, screw Burns, too! Think of everything that wrinkled old bat has done to this city. He's tried blockin' out the sun, he nearly closed my bar-

BARNEY GUMBLE ( from behind Moe): He made me go sober for two days! TWO DAYS!

SEYMOUR SKINNER: He cost the school a potential fortune! We still don't serve real meat in the caf- (everyone glares in his direction)- I mean, um…. He's a bad man! A very bad man!

CROWD: Kill him! Rip out his eyes! Etc.

(Marge stands up.)

MARGE: People! Calm down! We'll never stop Mr. Burns if we act like this! We have to prove to him that this town isn't worth destroying!

(The crowd begins to sit and listen as Marge continues.)

We should be proud that we've kept our city alive for so long! We should have faith that we can still keep it going! Violence won't solve anything. Remember all those mobs and lynching and crusades of vigilante justice? Were any of them successful?

(The townspeople shuffle around embarrassedly.)

We need to work together, peacefully, to solve this problem! We need to unite, embrace our heritage and history, and save Springfield!

VOICE: NO!

(Everyone looks around.)

MARGE: What the fudge?

VOICE: I said no! Mr. Burns won't listen to reason! He must be stopped in any way possible!

(The voice is coming from the door to City Hall. The townsfolk turn to see Waylon Smithers standing in the doorway.)

SMITHERS: He's mad with power! He can't be stopped…unless….unless…(he breaks down in sobs.)

(Somebody in the crowd shouts, "Unless what? Get on with the story!")

We need to fight! We need to save this town by force! Who's….who's with me?

(Half of the crowd roars in approval, but many don't look so sure. Flanders stands.)

I think Marge is right. Why should we fight? We should work as a town and negotiate-

MOE: Shut yer mouth, Jesus-boy! We don't do negotiatin' where I come from!

(Shouts of "Yeah!" and "That's right!")

(Sideshow Mel stands.)

MEL: We should seek the path of righteous peace! Violence will be moot against so great and terrible an enem-

(He's cut off by a rock thrown at his head.)

VOICE: Shut up, pansy! Let's take down Burns!

(Shouts back and forth of "Peace!" "Force!" "Peace!" Force!". Several people begin to fight, and soon a riot erupts in the City Hall. Quimby's bodyguards quickly escort him out. Marge amidst the chaos, shakes her head and grumbles.)

MARGE: Oh, dear……

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