Iceflight: Thanks
Freeheart: sures.
Longtails Loyalty: Yuperz, he's a dude who smiles and laughes alot
She Who Sulks In Shadows: Thank you for the poll!
Longtail Luv: hehehe... you'll just have to find out
Pebblepaw: Just wait and see...
Love is as important as memories; it's as simple as that. And when someone tries to erase their memories, it erases their love as well. Memories and love are connected in a fragile, yet held balance. But sometimes you can't help but fall in love, no matter what the memories or what kind of love, you feel it bloom in your heart and reach for the one you love every time your fur brushes or your eyes meet.
But sometimes it's just too awkward, too distant, and your feelings are cut off halfway. Sometimes the other persons' pride, the pride of the one you love so dearly, cannot help but oppose your relationship. And sometimes. Sometimes it's just hopeless.
"Blackstripe, take Darkflower and Snakepaw out on a patrol down by the Thunderpath at ThunderClans' border." I heard Smokestar order behind me. My fur prickled and I felt Blackstripes' temper rise against his brother, though his voice was cool and controlled.
"Why don't you take out your apprentice, brother?" Blackstripe eyed Smokestar icily, "I'm sure he'd love to spend time with you. Isn't that why you took him out as an apprentice?" I felt my hopes rises as Smokestar glanced over to where I was eating a mouse alone, but he shook his head and pointed his tail towards the rest of the warriors. They were gathering nearby, waiting for instructions from Blackstripe.
Blackstripe rolled his eyes and spun around, jerking his tail to Brownstripe and Silverpaws' mentor, Goldensun.
"Brownstripe, Goldensun take your apprentices and go on a RiverClan border patrol," he ordered, they both nodded and moved away, calling their apprentices, Blackstripe continued to whisk around the throng of cats, picking out the hunting and patrols.
"Bluestorm, I want you on the twoleg border with your apprentice now."
"Oh, but can't we go hunting? We haven't been in ages!"
"Hunting tomorrow then. I want Wetfoot and Graypaw out on solo missions, bring back as much as you can, because we'll need it for leaf-bare. Frostfoot, take out Bronzepaw, teach her more hunting tricks. Darkflower, Smokestars' ordered they you, me, and Snakepaw go out on ThunderClan border patrol."
"You're such a bossy butt, Blackstripe," groaned a back she-cat with white paws, Frostfoot.
"Don't call your deputy a bossy butt, Frostfoot; I'm the one keeping your pelt on your bones!"
"A kit could be kinder!" called an elder nearby, watching the entertainment. Brownstripe jostled Blackstripe challengingly.
"We'll be done with our patrol before you," he grinned, "How about a hunting competition again?" Blackstripe laughed and agreed to the challenge.
I watched on quietly, chewing on my mouse. Silverpaw and Marshpaw were already leaving the camp, and I watched quietly as my littermates Graypaw and Bronzepaw walked out with their mentors. I glanced towards my father, but he was already slipping into the nursery where Diamondshine was, pregnant with her third litter.
Blackstripe called me over, and I jumped to my paws, fur prickling with unease suddenly, and then pulled a smile and ran over to my uncle. He cuffed my fondly with one paw, and I growled, rolling over and batting at him with my front paws. He flicked his tail.
"Come on, we're on patrol," he nodded to Darkflower and they leapt together side-by-side out of the camp. I scrambled to my feet behind them and raced after, heart soaring with the run and sinking with the feelings of regret.
As we neared the border we slowed, and like always, checked for ThunderClan scents as we passed by. Darkflower took the lead, bounded a few foxlengths ahead and checking farther up border for other cats. One time she jumped onto a rock and gave a yowl towards us, who rushed over. Blackstripe jumped onto the rock beside her, his gaze held steadily upstream.
"Looks like Pantherclaw, Yellowbelly, and an apprentice," he murmured, "Scratch that, two apprentices." He nodded, "They're a little close, and we should go talk to them, find out why they're in ShadowClan territory."
The three of us bounded up from the rock, and slowed when the four ThunderClan cats spotted us. I noticed Tricklepaw and Petalpaw in the group, Tricklepaw pressed close to Petalpaw as she shrank back. Pantherclaw, a big black tom narrowed his golden eyes, fixing them on Blackstripe, and then Darkflower gave Yellowbelly, a golden she-cat a quiet look.
"You're on ShadowClan territory, Pantherclaw," Blackstripe meowed coldly. I was surprised at the sound of his voice. Usually it had more warmth, no matter who we talked to. But I guess ThunderClan was different, ThunderClan was one we shouldn't show emotion to, to keep them off our territory and intimidate them, keeping them from attacking.
"Hello to you too, Blackstripe," meowed Pantherclaw as well, "And yes, we are. I'm sorry about that. It seems one of our apprentices," he turned and glared at Petalpaw, who shrank back even more, "Was a little too curious about ShadowClan, and took a few steps over the border." He bowed his head, "We will leave at once."
Blackstripe nodded, "Thank you, it is always good to avoid bloodshed." He looked towards Yellowbelly, "You're a queen, when are your kits due?"
Yellowbelly blinked in surprise, "Ah, soon actually." I took a closer look, and sure enough there was a slight bulge to her belly, and her scent was more powerful then usual, Darkflower tilted her head to one side.
"They're our kits," meowed Pantherclaw, coming up besides his mate and giving her a fond lick, "And we're more close then usual. Yellowbelly was my brothers' apprentice."
Darkflowers' tail twitched and Blackstripe nodded, then remembered something and turned back to Pantherclaw, "have you met my apprentice, Snakepaw?" he asked, flicking his tail and signaling me to pull closer. I did so, keeping my tail low, but Pantherclaws' sharp eyes caught it and they widened, "He's my son."
Pantherclaw nodded eyes cold, "A two tailed rat is a perfect son for you," he flicked his tail and motioned to the apprentices, "C'mon, we're leaving this place."
Blackstripe smirked, "Jerk," he grinned, then nosed me, "I want you to go hunting for the rest of the day," he meowed quietly, "Be back before nightfall, and don't stray near the borders." I nodded and darted back into the territory, but then curiosity caught the better of me and I turned back, slipping into a bush nearby and crawling forward on my belly, listening.
"They're trying it!" snarled Darkflower; I had never seen her so frustrated before. Her tail, which has unusually longer fur then the rest of her body, was fluffed up, making it easily look three times its normal size. Blackstripe lowered his gaze, ignoring her, "Blackstripe, why won't you-"
"I'm not going to be your mate," he snapped suddenly, then I sensed his temper rise, and braced myself, when Blackstripe got mad, he got mad. But then his shoulders slumped, and he lowered his head again.
"Pick me," meowed Darkflower quietly, moving to his side, "I want to be with you, Blackstripe, I want this to work." Blackstripe didn't respond and Darkflower reached to him with a paw, "I love you, Blackstripe."
He shook his head and pulled away, snorting, "I have a patrol to finish." He whisked around and continued up the border, and Darkflower lowered her head and sighed.
I turned and followed Blackstripe up border, continuing to stay out of sight, and slipping into another bush. Brownstripe had meet up with Blackstripe now, and the two toms were sitting together under a burnt tree.
"She really loves you," murmured Brownstripe, shoving a fresh mouse towards Blackstripe, "You should give her a chance."
"I'm old enough to be her father," grumbled Blackstripe, "I don't know why she chose me."
"I would jump at the chance," yawned Brownstripe, "she's young and fit, perfect to be a mother. Go on, you'll like it."
"And when she turns around when our kits are warriors, she'll see an elder instead of a warrior, and want a young one." He sighed, "I can't love her back."
Feelings are like stones. You can throw them, and they can hit a cat right on the head, or they can miss completely. What I witnessed that day though, it wasn't a hit and it wasn't a miss either. I came to realize that what I had witnessed was a torn love. Darkflower, who loved Blackstripe with all of her heart, wanted to be with him, wanted to grow with him and die with him and have kits with him. Blackstripe, however, didn't want that, he wanted to grow old and die alone, without Darkflower, he wanted her to find someone else, for her to be happier longer, and not to grieve when he died before her.
For the time being I didn't know why. For the time, I thought that love was nothing, that it bonded two cats and created young. But then I realized it. Love was complex; it was a matter of the pride of taking a mate and the strength to defend them. Love was more then just a kit-making guidance, it was something that lived and breathed and died.
Which it had done inside of me.