Disclaimer: They are not mine…just playing.

A thousand thank you's to those who sent me supportive reviews, PMs and emails - I won't name you all or I'll forget someone. Just let me say, you'll never really know what they truly meant to me.

-------------------------Blind Justice----------------------------

Mac woke up in the early hours of the morning to find Harm sitting on the edge of the bed. "Harm?" she said, reaching out to find him. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Mac, go back to sleep," he said wearily, his elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands.

"Harm?" Mac sat up and edged herself towards him. Harm went to move away but Mac grabbed his beater and pulled him back to her. "No way, Flyboy. Don't you move away from me."

"I'm not, I'm…"

"Then what are you doing?"

"I, I don't know."

Mac climbed out of bed and wrapped her arms around him. "Talk to me, Harm. What's happened?"

Harm leant his head forward, resting his forehead on hers. It wasn't long before Mac felt the tears from his face splash onto hers. She reached up and wiped his face. "What is it, hon?" she whispered.

"I'm so, so sorry, Mac. This is all my fault. I…"

"No, no, oh babe, no, it's not your fault!" she soothed, running her fingers through his hair.

"But Bennett… and then you called me and…" He could no longer form sentences.

"Harm, it's okay. I don't blame you and I definitely don't want you blaming yourself. It was just a bad set of circumstances."

"But if I hadn't put you on hold…"

"Things may have been different but then it may not have been. We'll never know but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. Do you feel differently about me?" Mac explained.

Harm took her face in his hands. "Yes," he whispered.

Mac gasped involuntarily. She had spent two weeks dreading his reaction and hoping he wouldn't love her less because of her impairment and it showed on her face.

"Oh, no Mac! No! No!" He kissed her forehead. "Baby, I do feel differently – I love you more than ever. I love you more and more every day, I can't help it."

Mac nodded slowly, relieved to hear his clarification. "I'm glad because I've had a lot of time to think in the last few weeks and sometimes I got to wondering whether…"

"Never!" said Harm adamantly. "Would you have loved me less if the situation was reversed?"

"No, but…"

"No buts, okay?"

"Okay. On one condition."

"What's that?"

"Come to bed, it's 0217."

Harm smiled; Mac's uncanny ability to tell the time was still intact.

Whilst Harm put a brave front on over the weekend, beneath the surface the feelings of guilt were raw and ran deep. He didn't want to put Mac through anymore pain and so he tried hard to present a happy face. Mac, not wanting to make Harm feel worse, went along with his façade, and didn't press him on how he was coping. The denial lasted until Sunday night, when they were laying in each others arms, knowing Harm would return to London the following morning.

Mac had made little mention of the wedding. She prayed her sight would return and didn't even want to contemplate not being able to see him on their wedding day. Harm wasn't sure whether the distinct lack of wedding talk meant she was having second doubts or she thought he was. So, with some degree of trepidation, he raised the topic.

"Mac, have you asked the Admiral to give you away at the wedding yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Have you changed your mind about asking him?"

"No, just haven't got a hold of him."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Just wondering how he is. Thought you might have spoken to him."

"No, but I'll let you know when I do."

'Okay."

Harm sighed. Nothing in the exchange gave him information. He tried another tack.

"Have you and Harriet picked out dresses yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Oh."

"Harm, in case you are wondering. I do love you and I am planning on marrying you at the end of next month. I haven't changed my mind."

"Oh, no, I wasn't wondering about that, but I'm glad to hear it."

"Liar!" she said, squeezing him tight.

He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to miss you so much and I want to stay here with you but I just can't swing it."

"I know, I'd love for you to be here too but I'll be alright," Mac said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I'm tough, I can handle it," Mac said with her toughest marine bravado, but not too deep down she knew the next seven weeks until the wedding would be the longest of her life. Many decisions needed to be made and she knew she wasn't in a position to make any of them until she knew one way or the other about her sight. At this moment she was prepared to marry the man beside her, love him forever, move to London and resign her commission, if that's the way the coin landed. But she knew if her sight didn't return the scenario would change. She couldn't imagine living in a new country without her sight. Nothing would be the same, nothing would be where it should be and if she didn't live in London with Harm, then he would have to move back to DC and neither of them would have the post they desired. It would be a lose-lose situation. Quietly Mac rolled over in bed, too many issues beyond her control rushing around her mind, and spilling over down her cheeks.

Mac didn't want a long drawn out farewell and feigned sleep until she knew Harm's departure was imminent. She hugged him tightly and kissed him in the bedroom doorway before walking downstairs and repeating it at the front door. Bud, Harriet, AJ and Jimmy all said their goodbyes, before Mac kissed Harm again and made him promise to phone the minute he got home. As Harm's rental car faded from view, Harriet shut the door, scooped up Jimmy and headed to the kitchen.

"Okay guys, breakfast. Who's for pancakes?"

AJ and Bud followed but Mac moved back to the stairs and sat on the lowest step. She placed her elbows on her knees and her head on her hands and cried.

When Bud came looking for her a few minutes later, she was still there. His first thought was to get Harriet but he decided he could manage. Bud walked over to her, sat a step higher and put his arm around her.

"How are you doing, Mac?" he asked gently. Sniffles and a muffled response was all he got. "It'll be okay. It might all look bleak now but it'll turn out alright."

Mac turned to face him. "What will?"

"Everything. You're upset because you love Harm and are going to miss him, right?"

"Right."

"But as much as you wish he was staying here, you're glad he is going because you don't know how this is going to turn out," he said, touching her face near her right eye. "And you feel guilty because you don't want to be a burden on him, right?"

"Right."

"And you're worried that Harm won't want to marry you if your sight doesn't return and you're worried he will still want to marry you, even if you can't see, and you won't know whether he is marrying you out of love or out of duty or guilt, right?"

'How…"

"Right?"

"Right, but how…"

Bud knocked on his prosthetic leg and Mac instantly knew that the swirling cauldron of emotions she had been trying to fight were not hers alone. Each person faced with sudden and severe disability must have anguished over the same things. Mac reached over and took Bud's hand, kissing the back of it she whispered "thank you", glad someone could understand the torment in her heart.