I don't own 'Guilt' although it is one of the best SVU episodes of all time.

After the botched sting, Alex could feel her shoulders tense. This one was going to be long and excruciating. She set her jaw and walked into the interview room.

A few minutes later, Sam Cavanaugh ran out of the room and Alex scampered after him. It's way too early to be screwing up this bad, Alex mentally scolded herself.

When Sam and his mother were out the door, Alex grabbed her briefcase and walked out not bothering to say anything to those she left in her wake.

This annoying paperwork was just sitting on her desk as she tapped her pen. There had to be some way to get Sam to testify in front of a Grand Jury. She dropped her pen and grabbed her phone and keys on her way out the door.

Alex took deep breaths as she watched Linda Cavanaugh talk to her sun. She hated to put anyone through this, but Sam is just a kid. His eyes watched his mother and then he jaw set. Alex knew he was going to do it.

She went home to find Olivia already asleep. She smiled, stripped and climbed in next to her. Olivia instinctively draped an arm around Alex, who snuggled into her.

"Time to wake up," Alex stroked Olivia's hair, caressing Olivia's jaw with her lips.

Olivia smiled before she opened her eyes. After their usual morning kiss, Alex handed Olivia her coffee and took of sip of her own.

"How'd it go with Sam last night?" Olivia asked.

Alex took a deep breath, "He's gonna do it."

"Brave kid," Olivia commented.

Alex nodded. "Yeah."

Alex strode into court that day as if she owned the place, as usual and confidently took her place. Once Sam had done his part, the judge ordered a recess for lunch.

"…I don't think it will take very long to get an indictment," Alex explained to Sam and his mother.

"How'd it go?" Elliot asked walking up to them.

Alex smiled proudly at Sam, "Sam did great."

"Can we go now?" Linda asked.

Alex nodded, "I'll call you as soon as we know."

"You did good," Elliot patted Sam on the shoulder.

Alex looked past Elliot and saw Barnett walking towards them, "Damn it."

Elliot walked over to him to usher him past Sam, with a look on his face that said, 'if you say one word to that kid you're dead.' "Keep walking dirt bag."

Alex wasn't quite sure where all the commotion was coming from, but the yelling was getting closer, "You're gonna burn in hell you sick son of a bitch!"

At some point the back of Barnett's head came in violent contact with Alex's forehead, sending her tumbling to the floor.

I swear to God if someone hits me in the head again, other people's head with roll, Alex thought as she got her wits about her.

Elliot was helping her up, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Alex dusted off her suit. She reached up and touched where it hurt. It was warm and wet, "You've got to be kidding me."

Elliot looked at Alex's forehead, "It looks like it opened up that cut you got from that chair to the head. And maybe made it a little bigger. Let's take you by the emergency room just in case."

"First I have to go ask for a continuance," Alex stated and walked toward the presiding judge's chambers.

The blood was all the judge need to grand the continuance. Elliot had Alex in his car and at the hospital in less than ten minutes.

"Liv's gonna want to kill someone," Elliot smiled to Alex who was being attended to by a doctor.

"Don't tell her about it. I'll explain everything when I get home tonight," Alex couldn't help, but smile, "You know I could press charges against Barnett. It was the back of his head that did this. Which reminds me," she looked up at the doctor, "You disinfected that right?"

The doctor nodded politely.

"But if you sued him you'd have to give up this case," Elliot leaned on the door frame, "And do you really want someone else trying this one?"

"Hell no," came Alex's answer, "This bastard is going down, one way or another."

"My client has elected not to file assault charges against his attacker," Kessler told Alex as they walked through the DA's office.

Alex gave him her classic, you-can't-be-serious eyebrow raise before retorting, "How extremely considerate of him considering he doesn't even have a scratch on him."

This man is unbelievable. The rest of the conversation went on as Alex expected. Kessler wanted to plead him down and Alex almost laughed in his face. Well, there was a bit of a smile on her face.

After her meeting with Sam, Alex called Olivia.

"Benson," Olivia answered.

"Hey," Alex sighed into the phone, "Are you home?"

"No," Olivia replied, "I'm almost done with this list of potentials. I'll be home in a couple hours."

"Don't stay out too late," Alex smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too," Olivia smiled back.

Sleep is exactly what Alex needed. Tomorrow was a new day with new problems, but tonight it was just her and her bed, and of course Olivia a little later.

A phone jerked her out of her peaceful sleep. She reached over and picked up the house phone, "Hello?"

She remembers walking into the hospital, again, then after that it was a whirlwind of shouting. She could feel Olivia pull her out of danger, but she doesn't remember exactly what happened. The next thing she remembered was sitting in the chair next to Olivia's desk, staring at her feet.

Elliot was talking and then Cragen was talking, but the wheels in Alex's head were moving too fast for her to hear anyone else, "I want to know if Barnett had any contact with him. Dump the phone the phones."

"Already did it. Barnett didn't call Sam," Munch added, "Other way around."

After that, the whirling came back into Alex's ears. She came back to the present to answer a few questions from Cragen and note that Olivia was the only one defending her idea of coercion.

After walking out of Sing Sing, Alex rubbed her temples. She'd never had a headache this bad in her life. She opened the door to her car and threw the briefcase in the backseat. She looked over at the detectives who had parked next to her, "Go see if Linda Cavanaugh will give you consent to search her apartment."

Alex got in her car and drove off, leaving the two detectives to look after her.

"I'm really worried about Alex," Olivia told Elliot while they were in the car on their way to the hospital, "We've never seen her like this. I think she's gotten too wrapped up in this case."

"She blames herself for it," Elliot added, "You've done it, I've done it. We all have. I'm sure Alex still has the presence of mind to know when to bring herself back."

As much as Olivia wanted to believe Elliot, part of her knew something bad was going to happen.

Alex paced around the precinct. This was not happening. This whole case was going down the toilet. "Did you tell her what you were looking for?"

"You mean before or after she started yelling for security?" Elliot asked.

"Does it matter?" Alex couldn't believe that they'd given up like that, "Write her a note and slip it under the door, leave a message on the answering machine."

"Do you really think she cares about helping us make out case?" Olivia asked from her seat on her desk.

There was fire behind Alex's icy blue eyes, "Make her care."

Olivia was taken aback. Sure she'd fought with Alex before. Even after they got together, but she'd never seen Alex look this, for lack of a better word, crazed.

All she could do what watch Alex and Elliot yell at each other before Cragen stepped in and tried to talk some sense into Alex.

It seemed to work because Alex picked up her briefcase and left.

Cragen shook his head, "She's taken this one to heart. We need to stop her before she does something stupid."

"Where are you?" Olivia asked Alex on the phone, when she got home and found it empty.

"I'm still at my office," Alex replied, "I don't think I can make it home tonight."

"I'm getting really worried about you sweetie," Olivia added.

Alex took a deep breath, "I'm fine. I promise." She paused, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It's okay," Olivia replied, "We all know you're stressed about this. But I think you're too far in this one. It's getting to you."

"I'll be fine," Alex stated, "You should get some sleep."

"Okay," Olivia sat on their bed, "I love you."

"I love you too," Alex echoed and then hung up.

As time went on, Alex felt more desperate. The next morning, Petrovsky had denied her continuance and her warrant. She sat on her office couch thinking. There was only one way should could do this.

"Are there any restrictions on the search warrant?" Olivia asked, Alex.

"Nope. Whatever you can find," Alex replied and watched the detectives get to work.

After they arrested Barnett, Elliot and Olivia were pretty happy with themselves. Until Fin warned them, "Dad's mad."

"Get your asses in my office," Cragen yelled.

Olivia couldn't believe it when she found out Alex didn't really have a search warrant and Elliot looked just as stunned.

"Are you saying Cabot told you she had a search warrant?" Cragen asked.

Elliot was the first to speak, "I don't remember."

"Don't give me that crap," Cragen snapped.

Olivia's mind started trying to come up with ways to cover for Alex.

"She did that to protect us," Olivia stated.

"What are you now her lawyer?" Cragen quipped.

Olivia desperately want to say something else, but rationality took over and she continued to defend Alex.

"Motion to suppress evidence is denied," Petrovsky said.

Alex felt a new wave of energy surge through her. She'd gone through forty-eight hours with no sleep, but finally something swung her way.

Alex only half-listened when Petrovsky ranted on. She knew what she did was wrong and on any other day she would have never thought of it, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

When she walked out of the courtroom, she almost froze. Elliot and Olivia were standing outside, but more importantly Olivia.

Now she had some serious explaining to do.

"I am sorry," Alex solemnly stated.

"No you're not," Olivia was still mad at Alex's antics and still worried about Alex's state of mind.

"I'm sorry you were ever in the middle of this," Alex honestly confessed, "But you're right, I'm not sorry about the rest."

Alex caught Olivia's eyes, hoping things were still okay between them. The thing that she saw stung her more than anything else that could have been there. Disappointment. She couldn't bare to look at her anymore so she excused herself, "I have to go. I have an arraignment."

Olivia unlocked the door and walked in. She listened for any sound indicating Alex was there. She heard a small sniffle come in the direction of their bedroom. Olivia cautiously walked back to the bedroom and found Alex, sitting on the window sill, staring out into the city as tears streaked down her face.

"Alex," Olivia whispered.

At the sound of the voice Alex quickly tired to wipe away her tears.

All her anger dissipated when she saw Alex crying. Olivia took a careful step closer and tried to catch Alex's eyes, "This may be a stupid question, but what's wrong?"

Alex shrugged and crossed her arms defensively, "It's nothing."

Olivia pulled Alex into her body, "I know why you did what you did. You felt guilty."

"I still do," Alex said into Olivia's shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," Olivia tried to sooth Alex.

Alex took a deep breath in Olivia's arms before pulling away, "I am so sorry."

Olivia knew what she was talking about, "You're the one that said what we do at work doesn't change what we have here."

Alex sat on the bed, "You know, I don't think that works as well as I wanted it too."

Olivia got on her knees and leaned on Alex's knees, "Whatever happens, at work or here, I'll always love you."

Tears started to fall down Alex's face again. She slid onto the floor and Olivia caught her, leaning back against the bed to let Alex cry herself to sleep before putting her in bed and getting in herself.

I kinda tried this new thing. It's only for this chapter, so if you hate it don't worry about it. It's meant to be sporatic and kinda jumpy. I was trying to get into Alex's mindset. To me it seemed everything was getting jumbled up and smashed together and all kinds of messed up with Alex. Anyway if it sucked don't sweat it, this is the only time i'm doing it.