A/N: We don't own anything that doesn't belong to us. Lol!

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Elliot and Olivia got to the bedroom when Olivia stopped. "I...I can't do this. I'm so sorry." She sobbed before running in to bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Elliot instantly felt horrible. He knew better. She was too upset and vulnerable. He kicked himself as he walked to the bathroom door, knocking lightly.

"Liv, baby, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"It's not you. It's me. Can you please leave? I need to be alone right now." She sobbed through the bathroom door.

"Ok, Liv. I love you." He said sadly and walked out of the apartment.

Olivia cried for what felt like days. She finally unlocked the bathroom door and grabbed her cell. She called Alex begging her to get Casey and come straight over. Then suddenly she changed her mind and told them she would be fine, and not to worry with coming over. Alex protested, but she knew Liv, and she knew she couldn't be pushed.

Olivia packed a bag with all of the essentials. She grabbed a few suits of clothes, her cell, her keys, and a bottle of water as she headed out the door. She looked back once more at her apartment before locking the door. She caught a cab to the train station and decided to catch a train to anywhere. She didn't care where. She just needed time.

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Elliot was pacing his apartment. He couldn't believe how bad he had fucked everything up. She was just starting to open up to him. Damn her perfect body. "Yeah good job, Stabler, blame your screw up on her." He thought aloud. He decided to sleep till about 10 and call her to make sure she was ok.

Olivia was in some small town upstate in a hotel when her cell phone began to vibrate on the bedside table. She picked it up. 'Elliot' was flashing on front screen of her flip phone. She sighed and decided not to answer it. She knew she owed it to him to be honest, but it was just more than she could take. God, everything was so messed up. It was enough to drive a girl to drink. No. She would never be that person. She would never take her aggressions out on the bottle. She was better than that. She cringed knowing that she had just called her deceased mother low.

"God, I'm so messed up." She thought to herself and rubbed her exhausted face. "I need to get my life back on track. I need to start over." She spoke aloud to herself as she paced around the hotel room.

She decided a move was the best idea. She would move up here. Go to Academy and move on with her life. She would work in Albany's Special Victims Unit and live life how she knew she should.

She called the funeral parlor and made the arrangements for her mother's funeral before falling back into the bed and sleeping the rest of the day.

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Two months went by and Olivia was depressed but getting her life back on track. She made a new friend Stacey Smythe and a boyfriend Kyle Kingsley. She didn't really love him like she loved Elliot though.

She was almost done with Academy; she was at the top of her class. She had already had offers from so many bureaus around New York, but she had decided to be as far as away from Manhattan as possible.

Olivia walked in for her first day and was so nervous since the only person she knew in the place was her best friend Stacey. She quickly turned on the professional face as the Captain walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm Olivia Benson." She introduced herself, nervously.

"Hello, I'm Captain Jeffery Bingham. Nice to meet you, are you ready for your first assignment?"

"Yes sir." Olivia replied hesitantly.

"Alrighty then. Here is your partner, Kelsey Johnston." He said as he introduced the tall, fit, blonde haired, blue eyed woman.

"Hello. Nice to meet you." Kelsey greeted her with a smile.

"Hey. Same here. So, shall we get started?" Olivia said, anxious to start her new job.

"Yeah. Let's go. I already know where to go so let's get going." She said and walked out with Olivia following.

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After her first day at work Olivia called Kyle and he came over to watch some movies. She was just getting good and snuggled when her phone rang. It was Elliot. How did he get her new number? She decided to let it ring out and turned it off.

"Who was that baby?" Kyle asked.

Olivia shrugged. "No-body...no-body."

"Oh..." he replied, knowing she wasn't telling the truth, but if he knew anything about this girl, he knew not to push.

"I...um...um...let's just go back to enjoying the movie." Olivia stuttered.

Kyle rubbed her arms and inhaled the strawberry smell of her shampoo as he held her closely. "Sure, baby." He replied and pressed play.

Olivia was content. Happy was too much of a stretch, but she was content. For now. So far she was enjoying her new life, and she only had one regret. And those blue eyes pierced her dreams, EVERY single night. She would lose sleep just thinking about him. She regretted leaving him but she needed to try and move on. She just hoped he didn't hate her for it. Olivia stopped watching the movie as she thought to herself. "I hope he doesn't hate me."

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For Elliot it was quite the contrary. He missed Olivia so much. He couldn't figure out what it was about this woman. He only met her about a week before she took off. He felt like he had known her all his life. He was so lost without her. A hole that couldn't be filled by anyone else was growing bigger inside of him.

He asked Casey and Alex where Olivia went, but they kept telling him the same thing every day. 'We don't know.'

He laid down on his lonely king sized bed and sighed. He had to find Olivia.

Sure, he had called, but she never answered. He left voice mails at her old home number until it was disconnected. He had used his new connections to track down her new cell number, but it was pre-paid. He couldn't get it traced.

He decided to try and move on. He had to. He had no choice. He started as a police officer and was getting in to the swing of things. Elliot Stabler was proud of himself when he made his first arrest.

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6 months later

Olivia had been at her new job for a little over 6 months, and she was so happy with it. She was already climbing the ladder to the top with her arrest rate. But with one good thing comes one bad. Olivia felt like she and Kyle were drawing further and further apart.

Olivia walked in to her apartment one night to find Kyle sitting on the couch in the living room, in the dark.

"Olivia...we need to talk."

"About what, Kyle?" Asked Olivia, although she knew exactly what was about to happen.

"It's about us. I feel like we are drifting apart, and I don't like it."

Olivia sighed and sat down on the couch beside him. "You're right. I guess you are leaving me then." She whispered the second sentence.

Kyle got up and face away from her for a moment before turning to face her again.

"Just tell me, Olivia. Why do you hold back so much?" he said, starting to get angry. "Why won't you cuddle with me in bed? Did you know you talk in your sleep, Olivia? Yeah, you do. Who is Elliot? That's obviously who you want! The only time you ever responded to my touch you called me by his name. Answer me dammit."

Olivia ran a shaky hair through her long soft brown hair. "I don't know. I'm so screwed up." She whispered, more to herself then him.

Olivia looked away, she couldn't face him anymore.

"Yeah, that I noticed," Kyle said, as he walked out slamming the door.

Olivia got up and walked in to the kitchen, up to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed out a bottle of vodka. She looked at it as she closed the fridge. She was really considering drinking the whole bottle.

Part of her screamed 'Just do it, you know you want to.' But the other half whispered 'No, you aren't her. You don't need that to make everything ok.' She began to cry. Why did everything have to be so fucked up?

Her life was falling apart for the second time in under a year. She couldn't do it alone. Olivia decided that it was time to call Elliot.