If you're still reading, you either liked it, have nothing better to do, or you're an idiot. Take your pick. Enjoy.
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"So Anko, what brings you here?" Kakashi smiled.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm here to ensure that a certain genin doesn't get squashed because you were too cocky." Anko snapped.
"Oh really? I didn't realize that Sandaime was so worried about Sasuke!"
"Sure Kakashi, now where are those little runts?"
"Well, Sakura's helping Tsunami make dinner, but Sasuke and Naruto are training in the forest."
"Alone?! When was the last time you went on a mission Kakashi? I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the enemy's found them!"
Almost immediately, Sasuke walked through the door.
"See Anko-chan? He's perfectly fine!"
"Note that he came back alone Kakashi, you have three genins, not two. And don't call me Anko-chan!" Anko responded, hurling a kunai between his legs, causing the Copy Nin to visibly pale.
"...Ok Anko... Hey Sasuke, where's Naruto?"
Sasuke snorted, "The dobe's still out in the forest training. Like it'll make a difference."
"Well, since the all important Uchiha's back with his legendary sensei, I guess I should go check on the brat." Anko sneered, walking out the door.
Sasuke stared, "Who the hell was that?"
"That's Anko Mitarashi. She's been sent here as backup for the mission."
"Hn, what's her problem?"
Kakashi smiled, "You really don't know anything about women, do you Sasuke?"
--- --- --- ---
It was a testament to Naruto's massive chakra, as well as his horrendous control, that Anko could find him so easily. Judging from the Uchiha's appearance, the orange clad genin should be on the verge of passing out, but he was still running up the tree like he he had just started.
"Hey brat! You're never going to make progress that way, why don't you quit and try again tomorrow?"
Naruto glared at the new arrival, "Shut up you old hag! I'm going to keep going all night if that's what it takes, because I'm going to be Hokage!"
Anko tried to restrain herself, she really did, but the sheer irony in his declaration made her double over with laughter. It didn't matter how many times she heard or thought it. A twelve year old running Konoha was hilarious.
Naruto, being out of the loop, assumed she was mocking him.
"I'll show you!" He roared, charging at the vulnerable looking woman. Much like his genin exam, it took all of two seconds for Anko to subdue to overeager ninja.
"Brat, while you may not be the most skilled ninja I've met, you sure to have spirit."
"It's guys like you that die first." she whispered into his ear, licking his cheek in a disturbingly sensual manner. "I wonder how sweet your blood is..."
"H-hey! Get off me!" Naruto protested, struggling to escape her death grip
"No way brat, this is to much fun!" Anko teased. She released him for a second, letting him have an instant of hope, before pouncing on him again. It had been a long time since she had someone this fun to play with, and she sure as hell wasn't letting him get away!
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"Kakashi sensei, who was that woman?" Sakura asked as she helped serve dinner.
"That's Anko Mitarashi. She's a special jounin the Hokage sent to help us on this mission."
"Feh, I can handle it myself."
"Don't be so cocky Sasuke. Zabuza's an A rank missing nin, and a former member of Mist's Seven Swords. We could use all the help we can get."
Sasuke snarled, and Kakashi backpedaled to ease the prodigy's ego.
"I know that you'd be fine, but remember, Tazuna , Naruto, and Sakura aren't as skilled as you are, and I can't watch all three of them."
Sasuke nodded in agreement, while Sakura looked down, causing Kakashi to sigh internally.
"Sakura, I'm sure you'll do fine, and Sasuke will be there to save you if it's tougher than we expect."
Her depressed expression was replaced with starry eyes, as Sakura dreamed of her knight in shining armor saving her from the evil Mist Demon.
Kakashi relaxed, keeping everyone happy was more difficult than he had expected. He was just lucky that his genin were so readable, or it would have been much harder to diffuse to situation. If Anko or Naruto had been there... well, it wouldn't have been pretty...
"I wonder what Anko's doing with Naruto right now... "
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"God, I can't believe Kakashi didn't teach you the other methods for chakra control!"
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.
"There are other methods that are safer and more effective than tree climbing. Here." Anko's hands flashed through several handsigns, and a small hill of earth rose from the ground.
"While the tree climbing does help you regulate chakra, you continuously start and stop, and you have to recalibrate your chakra each time. However, by standing on a steep slope, you can maintain your balance even without the chakra. This allows you to focus on getting your chakra to the right level and keeping it there."
"Okay..."
"If you do well enough, I'll make it even harder!"
"What?!"
"Harder training means more results, which means you'll be closer to being Hokage, Naru-chan."
Naruto's eyes lit up, "Fine! Bring it on Anko-sensei! I'm not going to lose to you!"
As Naruto resumed training, Anko smirked. Kids were so easy to manipulate.
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Though neither would admit it, Anko and Naruto were scarily similar. They were both loud and obnoxious, neither took crap from anyone, and they both loved brawling.
The instant Naruto mastered the chakra exercise, he started bragging that he could probably kick her ass.
Needless to say, Anko took offense.
She expressed her irritation in the attempted maiming of the blonde genin.
Needless to say, it escalated into a full blown battle from there.
"You crazy bitch! Stop that!"
"Shut up and hold still! How can I skewer you when you keep dodging?!"
"Like I'm going to let you win!"
"Oh yeah?!? A genin like you has no chance against me! You can't even do a bunshin from what I hear!"
Naruto snarled, "Fine, I can't do a Bunshin, but I've got something MUCH better!"
"And what's that you stupid brat?"
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!!"
Anko stared as one helpless blond became a hundred. Shaking off her shock, Anko could only think of one thing to say.
"...Target Practice..."
With a maniacal cackle, Anko whipped out a devastating array of kunai, shiriken, senbon needles, and dango sticks.
The previously confident army paled.
"RUN!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Anko's laughter only grew louder as she chased after her helpless and terrified targets.
"Get back here you cowards!!!"
--- ---- ---
It took forever to hunt down each and every clone, but Anko loved every single second. It took them forever to realize running away only made it easier to kill them, and it seemed the remaining clones had decided to make a last stand.
"GET HER!!!" With a roar, the Narutos charged at Anko, who smiled invitingly.
If he wanted to die, she should oblige him, right?
Anko ripped through the clones, but they didn't go down without a fight. For every three she killed, one managed to land a blow, and the dozen or so hits were starting to add up. Giving up on indiscriminate slaughter (much as it pained her,) Anko started to scan the clones, looking for any hint to discover which was the original.
Spotting one that seemed a bit more attentive than the rest, Anko ignored the rest, intent on striking him before he vanished back into the swarm. Ignoring the hits they landed, Anko pivoted, allowing her leg to swing at her victim.
It hit, right in the crotch.
Instantly, the dozen or so remaining clones vanished, as the lone genin lay on the ground, clutching his most prized organ.
"Well, seeing as you're still here after a kick like that, I guess you're the real deal... You should do a better job hiding in your clones brat." Anko taunted the suffering Naruto. She started to laugh, but something caught her eye.
He was smiling. Across his face was a sadistic, shit eating grin.
Before Anko could process what that meant, he made a hand sign, and she was swarmed by another legion of orange. She was shocked enough that she couldn't manage a decent defense, and after a few moments of struggling, was pinned, a Naruto grappling each limb, and one smugly straddling her stomach.
"What do you think about that, huh Anko-chan?" He taunted, causing the jounin to growl.
She snarled, and for a moment, it looked like she would break free, but the clones held firm, and soon, Anko ceased struggling. She sighed, and Naruto leaned in to hear what she was saying.
"I guess you win... who would have thought that a punk like you could take down the amazing and beautiful Anko Mitarashi?" Anko murmured.
"Well, you've got me pinned and at your mercy... You wouldn't be thinking anything... naughty now, would you Naru-chan?" Anko whispered seductively, causing Naruto to blush profusely.
"Wh-What?!"
"To the victor go the spoils, and you certainly won, so I guess it's time to claim your prize." She watched as Naruto's blush intensified, as his eyes slowly assessed the strong, sexy, and very vulnerable looking kunoichi underneath him.
That was all she needed.
Her seductive smiled transformed into a sadistic smirk, as she bashed her head into his. As Naruto staggered back clutching his head, she slammed the two clones pinning her arms into each other, causing them to vanish in a poof of smoke. Before any of the other clones could react, Anko whipped out dozens of kunai, and within seconds, Naruto's mighty army had been massacred.
Anko charged the remaining Naruto, who attempted a valiant defense, which failed miserably. Within seconds, Naruto's arms and legs were pinned to a tree by kunai, Anko holding one more against his throat.
"Come on, did you really think I would let you have your way with me?"
"Bitch! You tricked me!" Naruto whined.
"You're supposed to look underneath the underneath moron. Didn't you learn anything?"
"Hmmph."
"Well... I suppose it's not bad for a genin, considering I could have killed you over a dozen times in the first five minutes."
"If you could have done that, then how come you didn't just end it then?"
"Silly Naru-chan, what's the fun in killing you when you can be so entertaining?"
"So the whole time you were just playing around?"
"Come on, you still get something out of our match." She teased.
"And what's that?" Naruto asked warily.
"This." And with an evil grin, Anko moved in and gave Naruto a deep, sensual kiss.
"I guess I'll see you back at Tazuna's" Anko commented, cackling uncontrollably as she left.
Naruto sat there for several long minutes, stunned at what Anko had just done. Finally, his brain rebooted, and his shell shocked expression was replaced with a grin that would look better on the departed kunoichi. He struggled to his feet, and staggered in the general direction of the house.
'Life is good.'
Not even the note detailing what would happen if he mentioned the kiss to anyone could ruin his mood.
---- ---- ----
By the time Naruto got back, it was already dark, though the grin on his face was still there.
"Well Naruto, you look pretty happy. I guess training went well?"
"Yeah! I ready to go and kick Zabuza's ass!"
"Well, we've got time until it comes to that. It'll take him another few days to recover, so keep practicing the tree climbing, alright? It's only a matter of time until you catch up to Sasuke!"
Naruto's grin faded a bit, "Uh... sure Kakashi-sensei..."
"What's wrong Naruto? Having trouble with it?"
"Eh... something like that..."
"Well, I'm sure you'll get it soon enough."
"Yeah..."
Kakashi smiled at his student, oblivious to how much his low opinion hurt him.
--- --- ---
The next few days seemed to blur together. Sakura continued to guard Tazuna, Sasuke continued to practice tree climbing, and Naruto...
Naruto went to another part of the forest, and fought his clones until he passed out.
Anko shadowed him the whole time, and it was disturbing to see how hard he pushed himself, sometimes skipping meals to push himself harder.
All because Kakashi said the wrong thing.
Kakashi may be a genius ninja, but his head was too far up his ass (or in his Icha Icha,) to realize how bad his social skills were.
Anko sighed as Naruto passed out again. He stayed out every night training, and while his work ethic was impressive, him sleeping in the forest meant SHE had to sleep out there too. With another petulant sigh, Anko tried to get comfortable in the trees, doing her best to block out the thoughts of Tsunami's warm soft beds less than a mile away.
She failed miserably.
--- --- ---
The instant Haku came near Naruto, Anko was wide awake, kunai in hand. Despite her appearance, the girl radiated chakra that no civilian could hope to have. Still, she hadn't made any hostile moves, so she'd just keep an eye on her.
Anko grinned, watching the children chat. Naruto's obvious interest in her was cute, and hilarious too, once she told him she was a boy.
As she began to leave, Anko thought this would be a good time to drop in.
"Hey."
It was entertaining to see how fast the girl changed from innocent civilian to collected warrior. Kunai met senbon needle as the two females faced off.
"I knew someone like you couldn't be an innocent little civilian. You have way too much chakra for that."
"I thought that I felt something watching us."
"I have to say, I love the way you told Naru-chan you were a boy. His expression was priceless."
Haku smiled softly, "I'm glad it amused you, kunoichi-san, but I need to go."
"Back to Zabuza? You might want to tell that moron to quit while he's alive... assuming I let you get away that is..."
Haku didn't respond, instead taking off at an impressive pace. Anko grinned, and thought about chasing after her, before remembering her job. She sighed, 'It would have been so much fun to hunt her down...Oh well, there's always next time.'
Still, the fact that Zabuza's henchman was so close to their area meant that he had probably recovered, and that left an unsettling feeling in her gut. Anko's amused expression faded to a serious grimace.
It looked like the final battle was fast approaching.
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Again, thanks to The Fanfiction Forum.