Trivial Matters
Begging the question
Vexen was really most amusing when he got caught up in a discovery. For example, it took him a full minute to realize that his coat was on fire, and he didn't even seem to care that Demyx 'accidentally' soaked him from head to toe while trying to put out the fire. At any other time, the neophytes would have been subjected to a long, loud tirade about respecting their elders, but not at the moment.
No, Vexen had more important things on his mind: an important result that he just had to share with the world, and how not to get shredded before he could share it. The solution was, theoretically, simple: keep Saix away from the meeting. It was also completely impossible, barring direct orders from Xemnas, who refused to give such an order without good reason.
As if preserving his most dedicated Nobody of science was not reason enough.
In order to preserve his own non-life, Vexen took several measures. First, he prepared a quick escape portal in the meeting room. Second, he made sure that there were going to be more Nobodies than just him, Xemnas and Saix. More targets were always good: gave him a better chance of getting away. Finally, he made sure to situate himself as close to the Superior as possible. Saix would never attack Xemnas, right?
Right?
Right.
Although there was always the issue of hormonal imbalances that could possibly alter behavioral patterns…
No, no, he had to have faith that he was going to make it out alive.
Taking a deep breath, Vexen blinked at his soggy papers (why was he all wet?). No one was paying attention to him, even though this was his meeting. That riled him just a tiny bit before he realized what most of the others were preoccupied with.
Saix was sucking on a popsicle. A melon-flavored, disturbingly phallic popsicle. Upon noticing that the meeting was not going to start, she glanced up to see nearly every Nobody staring at her. It wasn't that strange that she was eating ice-cream, was it? No, it wasn't that. Saix bit down rather viciously and watched the collective cringing with a small amount of satisfaction.
"Now, Vexen, what are your discoveries in relation to the… recent changes experienced by Saix?" said Xemnas briskly, now that the spell was broken.
"She has a fully functional female body. The change goes down to the genetic level," began Vexen, getting into the swing of things. After all, he had forty pages worth of reports to cover.
By page thirty-eight, most of the members were nodding off. It was the perfect time to drop the bombshell.
"Following an anonymous tip-off, I did one final test…"
The word 'final' seemed to rouse the sleepy Organization out of its reverie.
"…and it would seem that Saix is at least 6 weeks pregnant. IfyouneedmeIshallbeinmylab."
It took a moment to sink in, but the silence persisted long after that. Who knew who was the first to start looking back and forth from Saix to Xemnas meaningfully (it was probably Marluxia), but, eventually the whole Organization was doing it. Xemnas had turned about five shades of pale (a commendable feat, all things considered) and Saix…
Saix had her eyes closed, giving the impression of extreme calm. Any-no-one who had known the berserker for any period of time understood this meant she was anything but.
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A/N: Cynicism means you're usually proven right. Heh. Have a cliffhanger (kinda) and a cookie. Or ice cream. Ice cream taste good.