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Old Places Heal Old Wounds: Part I

"Give me your keys Rory you're in no shape to drive." She fished in her pocket and pressed the Chevy's key into his palm. Opening the door for Rory he ran to his side of the car and started it up. Pulling out onto the street he couldn't help glancing in his rear-view mirror and envisioning Rory standing in Mack's arms him holding her close and feeling just a bit of jealousy. Were they even like that? She had never said. He didn't even really know where she had been only that it had gotten someone close to her killed and it wasn't anywhere near the Ritz as she had said. He glanced over at her, she was staring out the window her eyes watching something far away and he wanted to know more than ever what it was.

She couldn't think she couldn't deal all she could do was count the trees. They smeared together. It made them hard to count but she tried, she put all her effort into counting those smeared trees tried to discern where one started and the other ended, but they all just melded together in one big globular life. Suddenly she felt so very small and so very confused.

"Logan." She breathed suddenly. "I'm sorry can you just take me home."

"Rory?" He questioned. "What's wrong? Talk to me?"

"I can't do this right now." She looked at him pleadingly even though his eyes were on the road. "Please."

"Okay." He sighed softly. "I'll take you home." Did he have much choice?

"Thank-you." She whispered the words barely floating off her tongue.

---

He pulled her beat-up Chevy into an open spot beside her apartment building. Rory exited the car quickly and Logan scrambled out after her.

She stood a few steps from the car unsure whether she should bolt or wait for him. Logan walked swiftly toward her and pressed the keys into her hand. She glared at the keys in her hand as if she had forgotten they were hers.

"I'm sorry I forgot. You can drive it to your place if you want."

"It's okay I'll get a cab." He shook his head.

"Oh," She replied distant. "Okay." Turning from him and walking to her apartment.

He watched her thin form float over the pavement drops of rain blurring her image. Suddenly he felt everything collide, everything he wanted and everything he needed falling into one spot in his life and it was all blurring right in front of him. "Rory wait." He called out to her. "Don't do this. Don't run away from me again."

She turned around slowly tears falling from her red eyes. "I'm sorry Logan. I can't do this I can't talk about it anymore and until I can I can't move on."

"Rory." He pleaded.

She shook her messed curly hair slowly, sadly. She turned her back on him and disappeared through the glass doors.

Logan stared after her stunned. At that moment he felt utterly defeated, he desperately wanted Rory but he couldn't help feeling that small bit of relief that she hadn't told him anymore. He allowed the cold and the rain that drenched his clothes to seep into his soul and cover his pain.

----

Jim was sitting on Rory's couch watching television when Rory entered her apartment. He shut off the television as soon as Rory entered.

"Ror." He greeted her tentatively.

"Hey Jim." She spoke distractedly, quickly walking into her room. He followed her, "Rory?" he questioned. She was hurriedly packing her school bag. "Rory talk to me."

"Not now Jim I've got to get to school."

"Ror you don't have to go to school I know you hate skipping but you just went through one hell of a night, you've been overstressed this whole week."

"No. I need to go to school." She answered bluntly unflinching.

"Rory stop. What happened with Logan?"

"Not now Jim." She growled annoyed zipping her bag.

"Rory it's Friday take a long weekend."

"Jim." It was a stern command but he didn't budge. She pushed past him toward the door.

"Don't do this Rory." She glanced back at him hatred shining in her blue eyes.

"You can push and push Rory but I'm not going anywhere." She slammed the door to punctuate her point. He sighed running a hand through his short brown locks, he knew everything would bubble back to the surface he just hadn't factored in Rory's steadfast avoidance.

----

"I thought you'd end up here." The blue eyes sparkled at her. "Sit." He patted the lush green grass beside him.

She folded down beside him looking out before her, the night sky suddenly engulfing the day. "As gorgeous as when you first showed me."

"Mmhmm." He agreed. They sat in silence.

"Why'd you bring me here Rory?" He asked quietly and suddenly, sending a chill down her spine.

"I missed you Mack."

"I missed you too."

"Everything's screwed up. I lost myself Mack I can't deal with…come back Mack."

"You know I can't do that Rory my journey it's done but yours…you'll find it again Rory. It takes time."

"I can't do it Mack."

"Rory listen to me. Things they can get screwed up they can get so out of whack you can't find your way back all you need to do is find that one thing that one lifeline that will show you the way back to your heart."

"But how do I know what it looks like?"

"You'll know."

"What happened Mack, with you and that gang?"

"It doesn't matter now." He shook his head.

"It matters to me."

"Old places heal old wounds."

"What?" She looked at Mack, his eyes bore into hers.

"I love you lil'sis."

"Love you too Mack." Tears ran down her cheeks.

"Rory," his voice lightened and crackled his image distorted. "Rory." Her eyes flitted open landing on her teacher standing over her.

"Are you alright?" The professor asked her. The other students filed out of class.

"I'm sorry." She packed her books in her bag.

"Just try not to let it happen again. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." She swung the bag over her shoulder and left the room.

-

Her knuckles had gone white from gripping the steering wheel in rage, in fright, maybe it was both she didn't know. Streams of consciousness kept running through her head. 'Why now? Why me? I was over it. What was that dream? Old places heal old wounds.' And the one it all kept coming back to 'I thought I was past all this shit.'

She knew she should just deal with all her pent up emotions head on. She knew it but couldn't. She just wasn't able to, it was somehow built into her anatomy not to deal, to run, lock up her mind and just forget.

Deftly pulling into a spot in front of her building she dragged her backpack out and locked the car making her way into the building, the rain still drenching the city. Following the water drips to the elevator she rode up to her floor and trudged to her apartment. Rory let herself into the apartment dropping her bag at the door and kicking off her shoes. She threw her keys on the counter; a piece of paper caught her eye stuck on the refrigerator door. Scrawled in Jim's writing she read "Rory you've got me for the long run I'm not going anywhere. Get some rest I'm coming over tomorrow." She groaned aloud she loved Jim but sometimes she just wanted to be left alone to stew in her own filth. She fell onto her couch rubbing her eyes in aggravation. Everything made no sense anymore; she just wanted some sense of normalcy.

-

She pulled herself off the couch at the sound of a knock at her door. Without thinking she opened the door to the sight of a blonde haired man dripping with water. She just stood there staring at him unable to think or move.

"Rory I know you said you couldn't see me until you made sense of well all the stuff you went through that you won't tell me but I think…"

Rory stood listening to Logan speak his familiar voice touching her. Suddenly she reached for him.

In mid sentence he stopped caught off guard as she rose to meet his lips with hers.

She felt the familiar fiery sensation coarse down her body. Her hands feathered across the back of his neck up and into his blonde locks pulling him closer, lost in the depths of the kiss. Abruptly she was pushed back Logan's hands breaking their kiss sending them a foot apart.

Was it their kiss or just hers?

"Rory what are you doing?" He tried to catch her eye.

"I thought that was kind of obvious." She asked annoyed covering her real feelings.

"God Rory we can't do this." He spit angrily.

"God Logan." She imitated him, "When did you become such a stickler about sex?"

"When did you become such a cheerleader for casual sex?" He threw back.

She paused catching her breath trying to reign in every emotion she was feeling at that moment. "Why'd you come here Logan?"

"I…I don't know."

"You don't know." She reverberated acidly.

He returned her icy stare. "Look Rory what you said to me this morning was complete crap."

"Excuse me?"

"You can't run away from everything you find difficult, I'm here for you use me."

"You know nothing about it Logan."

"I know more than you think Rory you aren't the only one who was hurt when you left and who drowned themselves in self pity."

"Really." She stated sarcastically.

"Look Rory if that's the way you want it maybe we should just rewind and go back to when we were just an old sweet relationship to one another." He looked at her hoping she'd fight, hoping she wouldn't agree with him.

He didn't get his wish.

"Maybe we should." She agreed, anything to get him out of her sight, out of her apartment.

"Okay then." He said slowly rubbing a hand down his arm. "I guess I'll go then."

"Bye." She followed him to the door.

He left through the door and she closed it slowly on him but she caught his last words before the door shut fully. "Bye Ace." She jerked her head, he hadn't used that name for her since the party and it hurt, deep.

She slid down the door holding her head. Why couldn't things in Rory Gilmore's life ever be completely normal? She laughed bitterly at her self effacing thoughts. Because then it wouldn't be interesting and what kind of life would it be then? She crawled to the coffee table and groped for the cordless phone. Finding it she deftly dialled.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Mom."

"Rory?" She questioned surprised at her daughters voice.

"Hi Mom."

"What's wrong you sound…odd."

"Got a room for me?"

"Always you know that babe."

"I'm coming home."

"Rory are you alright?"

"I'll talk to you when I get there."

"Okay Kid. Drive safe."

"Always…love you Mom."

"Love you too."

----

Gravel crunched under the Chevy's tires as Rory rolled into her old driveway. Every time she looked up at her childhood home she felt comforted. This house was her safe haven, hers and her moms.

"Rory!" Lorelai squealed as she raced from the white cottage bungalow. Rory squeezed in her Mom into a hug. Her best friend and mother was a ball of joy just like almost every other time she came home for a visit.

She dragged her duffel bag up the white steps and knocked at the door and waited. She should have been fidgety, she was coming home to her mother who she hadn't spoken to in over a year, but she wasn't. She felt nothing anymore she didn't feel the weight of her recent events or the latter events, she didn't feel nervous meeting her Mom, she felt nothing just the numbness that wrapped her in its cold blanket.

The door creaked open and her mother appeared. She looked terrible, her hair fell in stringy clumps from its clips, and her face was blotched with red. Rory scanned her mother and Lorelai scanned her beloved daughter. They just sort of fell into the others arms squeezing out all the comfort the other could offer and taking in the pain of the other, not knowing what caused it or even at that moment really caring.

"I missed you Mom." Rory offered minute's maybe hours later.

"You have no idea kid." Lorelai whispered in her hair. They stood like that for an eternity a billion billion heart beats went by before they pulled apart.

"Luke and I are done."

"I lost everything."

"Do you want to come in?"

"Please."

Full messages coming in as radio clips details would flesh their stories but for now it was all either of them needed.

"Mom." She pulled out of her mothers embrace. "It's so good to be back."

"It's good to have you here my little mini me." Lorelai wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulder bringing her into their home.

"Without the iron stomach."

"True no one has this stomach of steel."

"Clark Kent would." Rory objected.

"Clark Kent is a comic hero, he's not real, therefore he doesn't count."

"No," Rory gasped scandalized. "There goes my fantasy of a Rory-Clark love fest."

"There's always dreams daughter of mine there's always dreams."

Rory was glad to be home where stress was a thing put into mashing potatoes and the best gossip was who pierced what.

"So what brings you back to Stars Hollow? I thought you had enough of our small town." Lorelai asked buzzing around the kitchen; she had become, unfortunately to everyone around her infatuated with cooking. She tried everything under the sun concocting the bizarrest combinations she could dream up and subjecting her friends to test it. Rory had hoped it was just a stage, a way to get over Luke but either it was a very long stage or it was unfortunately here to stick.

"I just had to get away from school and work. It was all just getting to me."

"Lie." Her mom pointed the spatula dripping with something brown at her.

"What?" Rory asked incredulous.

"If that was it you would've curled up with some ice cream and had a movie night with Jim making fun of every horribly cheesy line you could find. So spill."

Tucking a stray hair behind her ear she looked up at her Mom. "Fine do you want the Reader's Digest version or the Lord of the Rings one?"

"I'll take Lord of the Rings but leave out the ugly orcs."

"Not sure if that will be possible but I'll try."

"Wait before you start try this." Lorelai put a plate with a square of chocolate like substance before Rory. Rory looked apprehensively at the food but bit into the blob. Her face pinched in fear. "Oh…my…God." Her Mom waited expectantly for more. "That's disgusting but very, very good."

"I know right, chocolate bits, liquorice, sour cherries, marshmallows and a graham cracker crust. Here." She put a big chunk in front of her daughter. "Now go on."

"So it all started with the return of the Logan Huntzberger."

"No." Lorelai breathed shocked.

"Yep."

Rory went on to tell her Mom every detail of the last week's events.

-

"Ok Rory let me give this to you straight this is all because of Logan…"Rory opened her mouth to interrupt. "Ahah…it is. I never liked Logan…I don't know why really I never officially met him. Maybe it was because he was bred of money and my parent's whole heartedly approved. But you always loved him best I could tell you got this aura about you when you talked about him. You never let him go, Logan has always been number one in your heart when it comes to you love life. You need to make a decision either let Logan fully into your life, lean on him for support which he'll give you if he really does care about you or you try to finally let him go."

"How do I do that Mom?"

"You need to figure that out Rory, that's the pleasure of being an adult."

"Ugh…" Rory groaned banging her head on the table top.

"Rory hon. you're hurting the table."

"Good." She groaned again.

"Come on you need some of Luke's coffee."

Rory's head whipped up. "YES"

-

"You know what?" Rory asked as they walked to Luke's.

"What?"

"You sounded a lot like Jim before, did you two collaborate?"

"Ah yes we gathered in a dimly lit room with out Russian accents and discussed the best way to combat Rory's complicated life."

Rory shook her head laughing. "Sorry I asked."

"Apology accepted."

"So are we good with Luke now?"

"Yes we're now on a real name basis."

"Wow. Progression."

"I think so, though I did love being Molly Polighty. She was a great character, loved food, cracking jokes…"

"And long walks on the beach."

"She preferred horseback rides in the sunset."

"Of course very Annie MacLean."

The bell chimed overhead as they entered Luke's. Immediately recognizing Rory Luke came out from behind the counter a big grin lighting his face.

"Hey Luke."

"Hi Rory, back in town?"

"Yep yep couldn't take it any longer I just needed Luke's coffee and chili fries."

"Well you came to the right place. Give me a minute or two." He left to the kitchen and Rory sat down with her Mom at their usual table.

"Lorelai?" Luke called sticking his head out from the back.

"I'll have the same." She called back.

Rory arched an eyebrow at her mother.

"What?"

"You two are such an old married couple."

"We aren't a couple we're just friends."

"Uh'huh"

"We tried that and we both agreed we don't work."

"Luke's your Logan." Rory stated with brilliance.

"Luke is not my Logan." Lorelai disagreed calmly.

"Luke's your Logan…Luke's your Logan." Rory chanted.

"Shut-up you." Rory stuck out her tongue just as their food arrived.

"Here you go Rory chili fries, coffee, and I threw in a special pigs in a blanket that I know you love."

"Thanks Luke." She smiled up at him showing her gratitude.

"You deserve it. How's Boston?"

"Boston's good. Rory in Boston is a little…awkward lately."

"Well, Rory in Stars Hollow is hot-dog."

"Hot…dog?" She cocked her head in askance.

"I saw it on that show Veronica Mars."

"You watch Veronica Mars? Since when do you watch TV? This is my Mom's doing isn't it?"

Lorelai put her hands out in surrender. "Don't look at me Rory the man's got good taste."

"I don't know Luke and television is like…you and decaf."

"Nooo!" Lorelai screamed at the thought.

"If it makes you feel better it's not technically mine I bought it for Lorelai it's still in my apartment and I was just flipping through the channels one night."

"You still have Mom's stuff?"

"Yes I mean…well technically its mine…if she wants it…"

"You're all flustered Luke." Rory pointed out smirking.

"I am not."

"You are."

"I am not flustered."

"Yes you are."

"Argh…" he trumped upstairs and returned with the television. "Here take it I don't want it."

"I don't want it." Lorelai protested shaking her head, playing at Luke's nerves the only way the Gilmore's could.

"It's yours take it." Lorelai inspected the television momentarily before bending over and giving the plug to Luke.

"What's this?"

"It's the plug."

"I know it's the plug why'd you put it in my hand?"

"Plug it on re-runs of I Dream of Jeannie are on."

"Glad to see you two are reunited." Luke dropped the plug defeated and walked away.

"Us too!" Lorelai and Rory snickered.

-

"What about the television?" Luke called as they were about to exit the diner.

"Keep it you can learn more words like 'hot-dog' and the new word of television culture 'frak.'" They door shut behind them without waiting for a comment from Luke.

"I wonder what else he has of yours." Rory mused as they walked back to their home.

"It's just a TV Rory."

"One that he barely ever watches."

"Rory give it up me and Luke will never be."

"Tell me you're not one smidgen glowing because of that TV."

"Okay maybe a little." She admitted letting a smile creep from her lips.

"I knew it!"

----

"So what are you going to do?" Lorelai asked as she helped finish loading Rory's bags into her car.

"I have no idea." Rory sighed as she closed the trunk door.

"Sorry I couldn't help you. You drove all this way."

"No this is just what I needed I feel a hell of a lot better."

"Good, me too. You drive safe okay Babe."

"I will. Love you Mom."

"Love you too kid." She hugged her Mom goodbye before getting into her Chevy and starting up the engine, which after a trip to Gypsy's no longer hiccupped but purred. They were both happier and relaxed and heading home to the big city where life was fast paced and always complex.

----to be continued…

Hi to all my readers, I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm really bogged down with school so writing time comes few and far between and I'm therefore unable to put up new chapters quickly. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get another up until end of November early December I'm really bummed about that but there's nothing I can do about it short of quitting school. I just wanted to give you all a heads up about that and to say Thank-You so much for all your awesome reviews! That's all I have to say for now…Have a great Halloween when it comes around! -Billie