Well yes, it was a oneshot, but since my friend Tori asked me to add another chapter and I was also concidering on writting another one, I just added it. I was thinking of making this story a four-chapter-story, tell me what you think okay? Nettie thank you as always.

You should probably read the poem named Tears by Jennifer, aka BiggestSVUFAN. She wrote it to go with the first chapter of this story. Please review :D:D

Happy Valentine's Day,

Sometimes… there's only one thing left to say.

Olivia Benson spent the last year like a complete fool. She ran away from the man and life she longed to have. Furthermore, she ran away after kissing him. She couldn't stop thinking about him and about their kiss. Even though it had only been a year it felt like an eternity. She had been through many changes this year and she couldn't say if they were for good or not. Her relationship with Sean was pretty serious right now.

Sean had been offered a very good and respectable job in London, so both of them traveled to Europe to start a new life. Olivia was not sure if this was what she wanted, but she accepted anyway because she thought it would be a good way to forget about her forbidden love. A new country, new people, and a new accent was what she needed.

It took Olivia a whole month to sleep in the same bed with Sean after the kiss she shared with Elliot. At first, Sean believed she had been cheating on him, but after she told him the whole truth, he understood. There was a part of him who always knew about this and about the fact that his own girlfriend loved someone else. They'd never talked about it, because he'd never thought it was necessary.

A couple of months ago, Olivia was shot while investigating a case with her partner. When she was asleep in hospital, she kept whispering Elliot's name. Nurses thought it was the name of her husband, so when Sean arrived all worried, the doctors asked him if he was Elliot, Olivia's husband. It was something which hurt him deeply, but he pretended as if nothing had happened. Sean felt like a stupid man to love Olivia that much and to know she didn't love him the same way.

That's why, last week, when Olivia told him she was going back to visit NY because her niece had been born; he wondered if she would ever come back. It was like she had a tattoo on her forehead saying "I love Elliot Stabler"

One week after that, Olivia was standing right in front of Simon, holding Alice in her arms. The baby was more than beautiful and she had the same blue eyes as her dad. She had been the first one Simon called when Alice was born; it was the first time Olivia felt like she was part of a family and she was enjoying a wonderful relationship with her brother and his wife. They had both welcomed her into the family since day one; there were hard times, when they thought she didn't want to be part of the family, like when she thought Simon had raped that woman.

She spent two days with in her brother's house and then booked into a hotel, where she would feel in private, there were many things she needed to think about. She promised Casey, she would call her once she arrived.

Casey Novak was talking to her best friend by phone giving her back to the door. She had missed her so much this year. So the two friends were planning on meeting. "Okay, Liv, I'll see you in half an hour," she said into the phone, without noticing Elliot had heard the whole conversation.

"Don't tell Elliot I've back, okay?" Olivia was definitely not ready to see him. She knew if she did she would have to talk to him and that felt like a knife being stabbed in her stomach. She had loved him for so long and knowing she was not able to be with him hurt deeply. Casey knew how much she loved Elliot and the pain she was in; she was Olivia's best friend after all.

"I promise, see you then Liv," Casey told her friend before hanging up the phone and continuing with her work. When she turned, she found Elliot there. "Elliot," she whispered and Elliot took a step inside closing the door behind him.

"Olivia is here?" he asked with tears forming in his eyes, tears which were about to fall from those beautiful blue eyes. Casey looked to the ceiling, trying to avoid eye contact with this man. "Where is she, Case?" he asked coming closer to her. Casey could hear the desperation in his voice and knew he really loved her.

"El, I promised her I wouldn't tell you, I'm sorry," she whispered to one of her best friends. She hated to deny him information but Olivia was also one of her friends and she would not betray her, even though there was something telling her she would.

Elliot looked to the floor before stepping next to Casey. "I love her, Case," his voice was almost a whisper. It broke her heart to hear him talking like that. She had always known his true feelings, but never thought he would tell her.

Casey felt like a stupid liar for telling Elliot where Olivia was. But there was something on his face when he asked which broke Casey's heart. Elliot was walking to where Casey had said she would meet Olivia. He couldn't believe he was actually going to see her after a whole year. He had missed her with every beat of his heart, and he hated himself for not running after her. It was something he would never forgive himself for. He had pushed her away so many times when the only thing he wanted to do was kiss her and hold her close to him.

The waiting was killing him, so he decided to run. He was breathing fast and his heart raced. He had been so arrogant for years, never accepting the fact that he had thought he could live without her. Olivia Benson was everything to him, everything. He finally arrived at the café and looked around for her.

Olivia was there looking through some magazine, waiting for Casey. As he walked to her, he noticed her hair was shorter than the last time he had seen her. She looked beautiful; he could barely breathe or walk. They really hadn't time to be together the last time she was in town, so he wanted to make sure, he would have time with her today.

Several seconds passed and he thought he should probably call her name, yeah… that would be the right thing to do. Elliot opened his mouth to speak but he was so nervous, his voice was a whisper "Liv…" Olivia stopped reading the magazine and raised her head to look at the man who was capable of making her go crazy.

She couldn't believe her eyes. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with tears instantly. How do you love someone so much you forget how to breathe? Months of seeing him in her dreams stopped in that second. She would probably have to kill Casey. Olivia was not ready for this; she was not ready to face this. "Elliot," she whispered standing up.

His eyes traveled her body and face within seconds. Elliot had longed for this day for a long, long time. It broke his heart to let her go the first time and the second one, killed him. He studied her face for a while and noted she was scared about this meeting as much as he was. "Is it that bad to see me?" he asked smiling.

She didn't want to have this conversation and she didn't want to see his smile, because if she did she knew she wouldn't be able to walk away. She closed her eyes and let one tear fall, showing how much it actually hurt to see him. Elliot understood what it meant because one tear was falling from his eye as well. He took a step forward and waited for her answer. "No, you're… perfect," Olivia whispered. The tension they felt was always there, but this time it was stronger. It was ripping his heart and hers too. "I'm going to kill Casey,"

Elliot let out a small laugh as he wiped his tear. He kept staring at her, remembering how much she hurt him last year. He closed his eyes and smiled, remembering how sweet and beautiful their first kiss was. It seemed so stupid right now, after a year has passed. Olivia walked and passed through him, only to be stopped by his hand on her arm. He turned her body, so he could face her. She was crying, silently, but she was crying.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face there. Both of them felt electricity run through their bodies, but at this point it was something they were used to. Elliot wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a hand on her back stroking it gently. It was killing him to feel her sobs and her tears on his neck. She had been holding this in for a year. "Please tell me you're not leaving tomorrow," he whispered into her ear as tears fell.

Olivia would probably have to leave tomorrow after this, but she simply couldn't always run away. Not after experiencing what it felt like to be away from him.

That's when she remembered Sean and what he had said to her. She couldn't just break his heart. He had plans for them. "No, I'm not," the words escaped her lips before she could think about it. Elliot let out a sigh knowing he would have more than a day with her.

"Let's go to my place," he whispered.

…

By the time they arrived, Olivia had stopped crying and was pretending everything was okay. Her skin was burning every time he held her hand, or every time she felt his breath on her skin. Everything looked the way she remembered it in his apartment. The furniture was the same and the photos were the same. His voice interrupted her thoughts "Do you want a beer?"

She sat on his couch and took some time to answer. The last time she has heard him asking her that was like three years ago, when they were partners. If they were not partners anymore, what was preventing her from loving him? "Nope, thanks," she whispered and kicked her sandals off. She drew her knees up under her chin as he sat by her side holding a beer in his hand.

Elliot didn't know what to ask and didn't know what to say either. Their special relationship had changed into what they shared now; this unexpected and complicated feeling. They'd been playing this game for a long time so they didn't know what to do anymore. She had hurt him when she left and he had hurt her when he pushed her away and went back with Kathy. Olivia was not only not facing him, but she was not facing her feelings either.

He decided he should be the first one to talk so they could start this over because he was sure that she still felt something for him because she agreed to come over. What he was thinking! He could see it on her face, in her eyes and in her body language. "I got divorced," he dropped a bomb on her. Her mouth opened wide with confusion. She couldn't believe it!

Olivia placed a hand on his shoulder and took the beer from him. She took a big sip of it and then gave it back to him. "I'm so sorry to hear that," she said. At this point she didn't know what to feel anymore because as his 'friend' she should be sorry for that, but as the woman who loves him, she should be happy for it.

"I'm not," Elliot said loudly. She was more than shocked by his response, wasn't he the one who always sacrificed his happiness for his family? He moved abruptly and captured her face between his hands "Because I love you." She didn't move but surprised him with her answer.

"If we're going to touch this subject you'd better bring me a beer." It was not exactly what he expected to hear, but he rushed to the kitchen and appeared a second later with a beer for her. She took it and almost drank half of it.

As the minutes went by, his feelings for her increased and he wasn't able to hide them anymore. "I moved to London." His eyes widened when he heard that. She later explained the reasons why and he couldn't tolerate her relationship with Sean. It broke his heart to hear she had a wonderful life with this new guy. "Did he propose?" he asked giving up.

Olivia could see the pain in his eyes and that killed her, so she wiped his tears away from his face and answered. "Yes, but I said I needed to think about it. I'm never gonna love him the way I love you." Her lips landed on his. He kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her body in an attempt to show her how much he needed her and how much he loved her. "That's why I have to leave," she whispered once the kiss ended.

Elliot stood up angrily and walked around the place as Olivia cried. "That doesn't make sense! You don't say things like that and then walk away, Olivia!" He sat back where he was. "For God's sake! Can't you just let me love you?!" he asked shouting and crying at the same time.

"Elliot, I've hidden these feelings for you deep inside my heart and that's why it hurts so much," Olivia whispered. They loved each other so much that just kissing was not enough. Nothing was enough for them. This feeling was so deep it was ripping their hearts out and killing them. It was making them going crazy and making them hate themselves. "Elliot, it's killing me to know that you're the only man I've ever truly loved." A sob escaped her mouth.

He kissed her once again as they sobbed. This time, Elliot picked her up in his arms and placed her on his bed where they kept kissing while taking each other's clothes off. "I love you so much," she whispered as she kissed his neck.

"I love you too."