A//N: Halfway point! Yes, this is going to be a short multi-chapter story. Six chapters long...I think the next two chapters after this are going to be very short... not like 100 words short, but shorter than the medium length chapters I've done so far. I don't know, we'll have to see what happens.

I know it seems like the story is going fast, but it's supposed to seem that way. Fai's story here takes place over a span of what I'm thinking is about twenty years, but all his problems all come in little groups...like grapes.

For those of you that are wondering: The part in italics will remain disconnected from the main story until the sixth and final chapter, but these parts are very important. They aren't random.

Anyway, enjoy and review.

"Don't you think you should slow down? It's not as if everything will fall apart if you aren't moving constantly."

The blond looked back at the man who stood behind him now. He had fair hair that fell in front of one eye. He smiled at him shaking his head. "Don't worry about me. I'm very happy to be so busy."

"You might be hurt. Especially since you're barefoot again..."

The other shrugged, wrapping his waterproof cloak tighter around him so his feet weren't visible. "That's fine by me." There was a long pause between them before the fair haired man sighed and waved the blond off with one hand. As soon as this signal was seen the blond ran off at top speeds out of the building and out into the field of work. He couldn't be still. If he was still he might miss something important.

Blue eyes flashed as he ran past other people trying to catch up with a small group up ahead. He didn't want to miss anything, important or not.

It's been years. Ashura, Chii, and I have been waiting for him for years. It's a boring life. The days all blend together. So much that I no longer know how old I am, or how long we've been waiting.

Every once in a while I go out into the empty kingdom and I walk around it, ruining the perfectness of it all. It's not much, all I do is make footprints in the perfect snow layers, but for a while it makes it look like people actually live there as I look down at it from Castle Ruval. It makes it look like other people had been out chopping wood or going to market or something. It makes it look alive.

About as often as I go out into the kingdom I get messages from Yuui. They often say something about some weird world, or about a desert princess, or something about various kinds of 'Kuro'...whatever a 'Kuro' is.

Every time he contacts me he says he'll be home soon, but he never is. I don't know how long it's been since he left to him, but it seems like forever to us.

I turned away from the outlook over the kingdom. The wind was blowing hard, a storm would be coming soon. I pulled my coat tighter around me. "Is Fai cold?" I shook my head at Chii.

"Where is Ashura?"

"In the library."

"Thank you." Ashura is slowly getting worse. He doesn't think we can notice. He hides it, he has no reason to be getting worse, there is no one for him to kill. He's already said he won't kill me or Chii, so there is no point. Even though this is so I know it can't be avoided. I'm a sage and I can't do anything to help him. In all these years I haven't become any less worthless.

I sighed turning and leaning against a wall about halfway down to the library. I folded my arms against my chest and looked to the ceiling. I wish something would change...heck I'd be happy with meal change. I'm so bored.

I twinged, no splitting headache, but I knew Yuui was sending me something. A change, even if it was only a few seconds of change it would ease my mind for at least a week. Or so I thought until I heard the message. "Fai. There will be no more messages. Things have changed. I'm sorry." His voice sounded so horrible! My eyes opened and I felt like crying. It hadn't even sunk in that I wouldn't hear from him anymore, just the very tone of his voice. He was in pain!

I cried. For the first time ever I cried. A sob escaped my lips as my tears fell off my face like small gems. I didn't even know how he was hurt, what he had done to get hurt, why he was hurt. I didn't know anything, I wasn't even sure if he was hurt, but I was crying for him as if I was by his side watching him suffer... "Fai?!"

I looked to Chii as she came up to me, "Fai, what's wrong?"

"N-n-nothing." I stood straight and wiped my face dry. "I'm sorry to worry you..." As was normal I did not smile, but I reached out and patted her head. "Don't worry."

That being said and done I turned away from her heading down to the library again. Ashura would want to know about this. Chii would want to know too, but she's so innocent even I cannot harm her like that. "Fai." Ashura turned to me and shut the book that he was reading for what had to be the twenty-fifth time at least. "Did something happen? You seem oddly uncomfortable."

"I just got a message from Yuui."

"Those usually make you happy...what did he say?" I quickly repeated the message to Ashura and his frown deepened. "Something must've happened...I'm sure he'll contact again."

"That's not what I'm worried about..." I hugged myself around my slender waist. Shaking my head. Tears did not tug past my eyes again, but I was worried still. "He sounded like he was in so much pain..."

"Are you upset because you can't do anything?" I nodded. "I keep telling you, you aren't here to change anything, you're not even supposed to be here. There was nothing you could do even if you were there."

"I know!" I yelled at him and he looked at me with a surprised face. It was the first time I have ever yelled at him for saying what I should and should not be. "I know, I'm supposed to be dead somewhere. I don't care, being here and not being dead makes it so that I am alive. And being alive means I'm here waiting. It means I'm here worrying! Nothing that I am supposed to be will change that. Understand?!"

I felt something connect with my face, it hit me with enough force to turn my head to the side. I stood there with wide eyes and I put my hand to my cheek. A dull throbbing set in as it began to sting. "Don't talk back to me. I know you're suffering. We all are. You're not special."

"I know that too." I glared up at him letting my hand slid away from my face, he hadn't put much strength behind it. It had merely been a warning.

"Good. You can tell me more later." He walked past me and I stared at him as he closed the library. For a long minute I just stared at the closed door. He had never hit me before. No matter how much I had back-talked, yelled, or protested about something, he had never touched me in anything but a loving way.

He was getting worse.

"Chii. Don't come out of the room."

"Why Fai?"

"It's dangerous."

Chii frowned. "Dangerous? Chii doesn't understand."

I turned around and patted her head. "Ashura is becoming dangerous Chii. I can't risk you being in front of him." Today I wore commoners clothes. A short cape that came only to my elbows lay around my shoulders. I even wore an uncommon item of clothing even for men in this world. Pants. I wanted to wear something that was very simple to move in today. Today was a hard day, I wanted something about it to be easy.

"Will Fai be okay?"

For once in my life I smiled. No matter what else changed Chii would always be sweet. "I'm a sage. Even if he harms me I can be healed. Besides, I'm not important."

Chii shook her head and grabbed onto my arm, "Fai keeps saying that! 'Fai's not important.' Fai is important!" I saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "Fai is important! Fai is the one who's taken care of us for all these years! Fai tries so hard..." I put my hand over her mouth. I couldn't bear to hear any more.

"Ashura says that the dead aren't important." I kissed her forehead and removed my hand from her mouth.

"Chii doesn't understand."

"I don't either, but it's true. I'm supposed to be dead. Thus, I am not important. That is what I know. Go lay on my bed. I'll come back soon and we'll take a walk." Chii nodded sadly and I let her go. I turned down the stairs. I had to take care of this somehow. I knew what Yuui had told me, he had wanted me to heal him, but I couldn't. There was no way I could fulfill his wish.

I pushed open the door to dining hall. Ashura turned and frowned when he saw me alone. "Where's Chii?"

"I told her to stay upstairs today."

Ashura smiled. "So...you've gotten wise Fai. I suppose I should have suspected as much from a talented Sage such as yourself. Especially about such matters. So. How are you going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Kill me."

"I'm a Sage. A healer. I cannot kill."

"Not with magic no, but even you can hold a knife in your hand. Pour poison into a drink."

"By oath I have vowed to never kill."

"Vows? You seriously keep those oaths that you took when you mastered healing? There's no one here to enforce those oaths Fai!" Ashura laughed. "You are such a kid. A wise kid, but a kid. To think that rules were meant to be followed..." He came forward and took my hands in his. I felt him press something into my palms. When I looked in my hands a dagger lay there. "Three days. I give you three days to kill me before I will try to kill you and Chii. Self defense right? Protection of the innocent? Those don't go against your oaths. Make me proud. Make Yuui proud."

Was that possible? To make people proud of me? This wouldn't make Yuui proud, after all he had wanted me to heal him, not kill him. How could killing him make Ashura proud of me? Chii would just cry. There was no one else. No one would be proud of me if I went against my oaths and killed this man...no one.

For a long time I stood there staring at the knife I held in my hand. I felt like I didn't know what to do with it. I felt like it should disappear or move on it's own. I stared at it waiting for it to do one of these things. It didn't. I sat there until my legs were numb, but still it did not move.

I had three days. I have twelve hours. Mind you, this isn't for lack of trying either. At first I have been contemplating the idea of just giving him poison in his drink, but I decided against it in the end. He'd given me this knife. He wanted to be killed by this weapon I now kept by my side. Who was I to deny him his wish?

I'd tried in various ways, from behind, frontal attack, from above even. None of these had worked. They had ended very badly for me. Despite my healing skills Chii was starting to ask about the bruises my body now supports. I never was meant to hurt someone. My body didn't go along with it, in fact my body revolted against me when I tried. As such, I knew killing someone would be one of the harder endeavors I'd ever taken on, but I didn't think it would be quite as hard as it was.

Going through my options I only had one option left. I had to kill him in his sleep. It was such a lowly idea that at first I had slapped myself for thinking it, but now there was no choice. I did not mind endangering myself, that was a simple task, but Chii... I could not do that to Chii. Yes, she was only a person created by Yuui's complex magic, but she was still a person...

I reached out my fingers lightly massaging Chii's animal-like ear as she slept. The girl shifted and then turned over, the light blue light my sage's staff gave off refracting off her hair.

It was late. Outside the window a blizzard blew. I could hardly see it from the darkness that filled almost every corner of my room, but thanks to my staff I could just barely see it.

I needed to get up. I needed to get this over with. I knew this, I told myself this, trying to move my legs off the bed, but they wouldn't move. My head wouldn't turn. My entire being was against this. I didn't blame my body for this, after all my mind was against it too. The only difference between my mind and my body was that my mind knew it had to be done. I had to move.

It took a good half hour, but finally my mind convinced my body that it could move and I finally got off the bed. I silently crept to the door and got out shutting it behind me. Chii didn't wake up.

I moved very slowly down the hall. I was afraid to breathe. I don't know how long it was before I got to the door that led into Ashura's room. My fingers barely touched the door as I ever so carefully pushed it open.

I came into the room. I could have sworn my shivering was loud enough to wake him. My tiptoes were silent, but not silent as I approached the bed. I took in a long rigid breath before I held it inside my lungs. My shaking hands went to my side and the long fingers pulled the dagger from it sheath. It made a sound. I held my breath as I waited for his eyes to snap open from that. They did not.

For a time my body was unresponsive again. I stood there very still, one hand holding the dagger, the other holding it's shield. I was glad my fingers gripped so tightly to both of them that they did not fall from my hands. The sound of them clattering to the floor would surely wake him, more than any other sound I had made so far.

I could move. I swung my hand up and brought it down as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough, my body stopped again. This time it wasn't just my healer's body saying no, it was my healer's mind saying no as well. I couldn't do this! I couldn't just take his life because he wanted it. I couldn't do this just because he had threatened to hurt Chii and I if I didn't! It was wrong!

I was about to pull my hand away from him. I was about to put the knife away and walk back to my room a coward. It didn't happen. Something gripped to my wrist. What? I looked to Ashura's face, his eyes were wide open.

I looked back to my hand and I realized that it was his hand holding me. "Good night Fai." His voice was utterly smooth as his grip tightened and he moved my hand. I had been sure he was going to turn the knife into my own body. I watched as he moved my hand up away from him, this was it, he was going to finally kill me...

He forced my hand down at high speeds, not into me...but into himself. It went right into his chest. There was resistance, my hand still holding the knife could feel it, but the sharp blade easily got past that. It sunk into his chest. The sound was horrible! My eyes widened and I put my hand to my mouth as I was positive I was going to throw up.

The smell of blood reached my nostrils and made me want to vomit even more at the very thought of knowing that I had caused this blood. It was my fault.

A hand that was not my own touched my face. "This is the right thing Fai..." His voice was still just as smooth even though this had to be excruciating pain. "Originally, I wanted Yuui to kill me, if you had died, it would have helped him. But now I know for sure, it was better for you to kill me. This will make you grow." He pulled at my golden hair gently pulling my head down to his mouth. "You're not dead anymore Fai." He whispered this into my ear. "Soon, fate will come for you."

He let go. He let go of my hair, he let go of my wrist. I pulled back. His eyes were still, his muscles unmoving, he didn't breathe, I could tell just from a mere glance that Ashura was dead.

I had killed him.