He was so damn drunk.
He didn't know what he was doing.
Oh God...he knew just where to touch...he knew just what made my toes curl in pleasure...everything he did was just too intense for me to handle...
It didn't matter that he smelt like an entire liquor cabinet...not when his hand pressed against the small of my back and all I could do was shudder the small gesture brought to the rest of my body...
How was it that he could do this to me? He never once made any kind of indication that he was even remotely interested...except that first day...the fire he created in his hands...
"Roguey, you're the best, you know that, right?"
He had kissed me through my own scarf...my first kiss since that unforgettable day in Mississippi...
"Love ya..." he murmured to her before passing out on the couch.
She woke, sitting upright in her bed, still breathing heavily.
She slipped out of bed and padded her way to the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face...it didn't work, her cheeks were still flushed and her heart was still racing.
She couldn't get that night out of her head. Even when no one knew if he was alive or dead, she couldn't stop thinking about what happened...or what could have happened. If only he hadn't passed out...
He didn't even remember what had happened the next day when he came looking for me, asking if he did anything stupid...he looked so uncomfortable...and guilty...
It was the first time he looked guilty about anything...
I told him nothing happened and he believed me...why would I lie? I was suppose to be his friend, right? Just his friend...
He swore that he would never drink again, saying that he learned his lesson...and that alcohol didn't really taste that great if you knew you were only to taste it again the morning after hovering over a toilet...
He was still her friend...he didn't even realize there was a change...
Whenever he accidentally brushed his hand against the small of my back, it became too much...
A part of me wanted to send him a bottle of Jack just to see if it would happen again...because I wanted it to happen again...
She snapped out of her thoughts when she realized she had left the water running.
She splashed more cold water on her face and turned off the faucet.
It was funny, Bobby being as smart he was, he never thought about using a scarf or even a handkerchief to protect himself from her mutation. That time at his house in Boston, he had just kissed her. And look what happened, even as he protested that she couldn't hurt him...
Idiot...
She hadn't lied when she told Logan that she wanted to take the cure, she wasn't doing it for any boy.
She was tired of hurting, tired of all the voices in her head, tired of not knowing herself anymore.
She remembered the days afterward. At first, there had been no problems. She gleefully went around the mansion, touching everybody's hands -- Bobby's, Jubilee's, Storm's, Logan's... She could touch and no one got hurt.
It was a miracle to her.
But then she started getting dizzy. Then she started throwing up. She got nauseous around the smell of food cooking. It was like she was having morning sickness but she knew that was an impossibility -- sure, she wanted a physical relationship with her boyfriend but Bobby was still hesitant about even giving her the briefest of kisses, as if he was afraid it was too good to be true and he was going to get hurt again. She wasn't about to jump into bed with a boy like that.
The symptoms got worse with each passing day. She was bed-ridden for a week before she could start walking upright and not feel like the floor was about to fall out from under her feet. It was another two days before she could eat solid foods and keep it down. It was another three days before Kitty came to see her and tell her about what Bobby had been doing all that time she had been sick.
The fucking bastard...
She had left the moment Hank gave her the all clear.
She took a car and just drove. Didn't care where, just wanted to get away. At least for a little while.
She ended up back in Meridian, seeing her parents again even if it was just from afar.
They looked so content, sitting together on the front porch of the house, holding hands and sipping iced tea. She wondered if they even missed her.
She tried to muster up the courage to ring that doorbell. She tried for three straight days, listening as the piano notes floated through the open windows, but drove away on the fourth when her finger only hovered over the button, the effort to actually push it just not there.
She was going to drive back to New York but, hell, she was going to use this time to see all the things she thought she would never get to see. She always wanted to go on a road trip -- this was her opportunity, it wasn't like she really wanted to get back to the mansion so quickly anyways. She stopped at a motel, called Logan, and sat down to plan her trip. She was going to drive to Savannah and make her way back up to New York from there.
Unfortunately, her plans went awry when she ended up bumping into a red-eyed Cajun.
She knelt down on the bathroom floor, loosening one the tiles near the sink. She reached into the hole behind the tile and pulled out the tin box she kept there. She opened the lid and rummaged through the old pictures and ticket stubs she'd collected through those months she had been gone.
It had been good while it lasted, she thought. She had thought he would have made her happy, that he would make some kind of effort to make their relationship work, that he would make her forget about a certain missing boy who loved to play with fire.
But it all ended the way her relationships seemed to end at the time -- with him making the moves on another girl.
She sighed heavily and continued through the pictures when she saw it.
It was the scarf. The one she hadn't worn since that night he had kissed her through it. The one she couldn't bear to wear again but she couldn't bring herself to throw away either.
She fingered the fabric, remembering the way his lips felt on hers even through a barrier.
He didn't remember what had happened between them that night and now he didn't remember any of them at all.
The irony of it all made her want to cry.
--
"More information coming out of Phoenix this morning...
"We have learned that the wife of the injured firefighter, Jessica Sullivan, daughter of Senator William Harrison of Arizona, was also shot during the attempted kidnapping...
"The two children, who were unharmed during the incident, are staying with their grandparents at their Arizona residence, guarded by a private security team hired by the Senator...
"It has been confirmed -- Jessica Sullivan was pronounced dead this evening...
"Benjamin Sullivan was released from the hospital today...a family spokesperson has asked the press for privacy during this time...
"Mr Sullivan is the son of neurosurgeon Dr David Sullivan who died after having a massive stroke three years ago... Mr Sullivan's mother, Jane Sullivan, worked as an assistant at city hall and was killed by a drunk driver around the same time as Dr Sullivan's death...
"Security was visibly tight at the funeral for Jessica Sullivan...
"Mr Sullivan and his children are now at an undisclosed location..."
Watching all the news reports gave some indication about his life had been since leaving the jet that day.
God knows she was dying for even the tiniest bit of information about him.
When the Professor came in that night and said that they were going to Phoenix, she didn't realize he wasn't talking about all of them. She wanted to scream at him when he told Kitty and Peter to be ready to leave in ten minutes. And when she protested about not being included, he merely said that he needed her at the mansion then wheeled away, talking to Scott about the preparations he wanted to make. She had to bite her tongue not to curse him and his shiny bald head. She saw Logan arch a brow at her, as if he was the mind reader and knew exactly what she was about to say.
They had been gone over for over a week. And when they came back, she realized he had not come back with them.
No one who went to see him would say what had happened.
"I know you're dying to know," Jubilee said, bouncing on the couch next to her. She turned the TV off to get her friend's attention. "Rogue, hey...this is the part where you show a little enthusiasm and ask me about what Kitty told me."
Rogue turned to her sharply. "Kitty told you? Why has she told you now? I couldn't even get Logan to tell me what happened."
"You give up too easily, my friend. If you need information, it's all about persistence persistence persistence." Jubilee paused for a moment, looking a little thoughtful. "And, of course, a healthy dose of singing 100 bottles of beer on the wall at the top of my lungs every night since she got back helps too."
Rogue laughed as she could only imagine what Kitty must have endured in the past week from her roommate.
"Ah...that's the enthusiasm I was looking for. Now," Jubilee said, rubbing her hands together in a let-the-gossip-flow manner that only she had, "this is coming from Kitty so knowing her, she probably left out a lot of details just so she can cover her ass if somebody found out she was the one who blabbed."
"You're terrible."
"Hey, I'm not the one who can't keep a secret." She gave Rogue an evil grin before continuing. "Apparently, the Professor only found out about John the same way we all did. The magic of television, huh? He's still not sure why he wasn't able to locate him with Cerebro. Makes you kinda wonder..."
"About what?"
"Duh, Rogue...that maybe John's not a mutant anymore!"
"What?! No way!"
"Well, it's just a theory. Would explain a lot though. Can you imagine him without his powers? The boy sure did love his fire..."
"Jubes, can you just continue with what Kitty told you?" She really did not want to think about him that way.
"Well, okay, where was I? Oh, right, so they went to the hospital where he was...I guess he was in surgery for a long time and the doctors wanted him to recuperate before he talked to anybody. Of course, the police wanted to talk to him first. They didn't see him until like the sixth day they were in Phoenix and that was after arguing with his father-in-law for about ten thousand million hours. I still can't believe he married a Senator's daughter. I mean, I always pictured him as one of those guys who only did one night relationships, you know what I mean? But married? To a Senator's daughter? Holy crap!"
"Jubilee! Focus!" The girl maybe twenty-five years old but her attention span was that of a two year old on a sugar high.
"Oh, right, right... So, yeah, his father-in-law definitely did not want them to see or talk to him, even after they explained to him why they were there and who this 'Ben Sullivan' really is. Kitty thought the Senator was acting a little strange..."
"Why?"
"She said she kinda got the sense that he already knew all this...that maybe he didn't really want John to find out who he really was... I don't know. Maybe Kitty's senses were off that day. Remember that one time when she thought she heard Logan singing show tunes? What in the world made her think that the Wolverine would even know the lyrics to Oklahoma? I mean, seriously..."
"Jubilee..."
"All right, all right! Getting back, I guess when the Senator realized that they weren't going to leave without seeing him, he would only agree on letting two people into the room. Obviously the Professor went in but I still don't get why he choose Logan to go in there with him. I mean, you would think he would have chosen either Scott or Jean or maybe even Storm but Logan? Don't give me that look! I'm getting back to the point! Anyways, they were only in there for about twenty minutes when Kitty heard John screaming at them to get out."
"I guess finding out you're not who you thought you were really freaked him out."
"That's what Kitty thought too! But then she overheard Logan and the Professor talking in the hallway of the hotel they were staying at. Logan kept saying he got startled when somebody dropped a tray, he didn't mean for his claws to come out."
"Well, those things are pretty scary looking..."
Jubilee shrugged. "Maybe. But then Kitty heard the Professor saying to Logan that he didn't think John didn't look scared...yeah, he was probably surprised -- who wouldn't be? Seeing a man with claws isn't something you see everyday, right? But the Professor thought John looked like he recognized them..."
"How?"
"Who knows? Maybe he hasn't forgotten everything..."
They were both silent for a moment, each lost their own thoughts.
"Hey, I never asked you...what did the Professor say?" Jubilee asked.
"About what?"
"That day at the museum! You saw him there! You did tell him...didn't you?"
"Um...well..."
"You didn't tell him?" The look of incredulity on Jubilee's face was almost comical. Rogue would have laughed if Jubilee hadn't given her a punch on the arm so hard, she thought a bone might have broken. "After you freaked the hell out in the museum! And scared about half the people in there! And then left me alone with all those kids in the van! You didn't..."
Jubilee trailed off when she saw Peter walking into the room. "What are you two gossiping about now?"
"Oh, you know... Make-up. Celebrity hook-ups and break-ups. Who's got a cuter ass, Scott or Logan," Jubilee said airily but giving Rogue a murderous look when Peter was looking the other way.
The two girls watched -- a little apprehensively -- as Peter squeezed himself in between them, squishing them to the sides of the couch.
Peter looked at them both and said, "So who's in the lead now? Scott or Logan? I got a lot of money on Logan."
--
Whitefish, Montana -- Sullivan residence
--
His parents had bought this house when he was eighteen. He wasn't sure why -- the scenery was nice with its tall mountains and vast lakes, but it wasn't like his parents had been avid skiers or hikers and they certainly did not fish or swim. They weren't exactly nature lovers either. All they did when they were at the house was read and maybe go into town to buy a few trinkets for friends.
He was glad though that they had it now. It was place of sanctuary now.
He winced as he stubbed his toe against the coffee table...again. If he wasn't holding a sleeping Maggie in his arms right then, he would have cursed and tossed the damn thing out the window.
Maggie shifted in his arms, clutching at his shirt a little tighter but still asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. The first few days they had been at this house, she would close her eyes, only to wake up screaming, crying out for him or, even worse, her mother.
She seemed to be getting a little better, sleeping through most of the night now. He placed her in the bed, putting a blanket over her small form.
He walked over to the crib that was in the same room. Jack was still sleeping, his little hands unconsciously waving in the air.
He checked on the dogs lying on the floor of the room. He still could not believe they were still alive after being drugged by the two would-be kidnappers. He petted their heads and let them fall back to sleep.
They seemed to sleep better when they were all together in a room, even the dogs. He can only guess that they felt safety in numbers.
He would never admit it but he had the worse of the sleeping problems. He ended up watching infomercials about everything from exercise machines to counter-top grills to anti-aging skin creams. He wanted to blame the pain he still felt in his shoulder and side for not being able to sleep but, in truth, his dreams had become even more haunted since that night... It wasn't the screams and chaos that scared him, it was the silence and nothingness that his dreams ended with.
He ran into the damn coffee table again while he was going back to the living room. This time he did curse out loud, glaring at the piece of furniture. He was thinking about ways to get rid of the object of his misery when a small silver object on the carpeted floor caught his eye. He bent down to retrieve it -- it was a key. He looked underneath the table and saw the tape residue on the rough wood. It must have fallen off after his numerous run-ins with the damn thing.
He looked closely at the key -- he knew what it unlocked. It was the only thing in the house that remained unlocked, that was always locked even when his parents were still alive.
The camel hump trunk was still in his parents' bedroom closet. He hadn't really tried to open it, thinking whatever was hidden in it was their business and he didn't want to pry. They obviously didn't want him to see what was inside.
So why was he still holding the key?
Damn human curiosity. He just couldn't deny it.
He hoped it didn't contain sex toys or a collection of porn or something equally vomit-inducing that no one needed to know about their parents.
He knelt down, putting the key into the keyhole and turning it to unlock the trunk. He slowly opened the lid – he would have the opportunity to close it quickly if he saw anything he didn't want to see.
All he saw though was a piece of fabric. Thinking it was safe, he opened the lid further and saw that it was a dark blue jacket with a zippered front. He took it out to get a better look. He noticed there was a patch sewn on the sleeve, a circle with an X through it. It looked familiar...
He went back to see what else was in the trunk and he stopped breathing for a second. Track pants. Brown long-sleeved shirt. Those he did remember seeing before. But that was just a dream...right? What the hell was going on?
There were books, old newspapers, more clothes... Then at the bottom of the trunk, he found the oddest thing. It was a lighter. He knew neither his father nor mother smoked...why would they have a lighter? And with a shark design on it?
The ringing of the phone startled him out of his thoughts.
"Hello?"
"Mr Allerdyce, you're a hard man to find."
Allerdyce? "I think you have the wrong number."
"Ah, excuse me, I guess I should have called you by your real name...Pyro."
"Who is this? How did you get this number?"
"My dear Pyro, I'm hurt. I thought you would have at least remembered me of all people. I thought I had left a lasting memory with my high compliment to your talent to manipulate fire."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"A god among insects... That's what you are, Pyro..."