A/N: Okay, so… I've received a lot of requests from my wonderful readers (yes that means YOU), but it's a little overwhelming, and also I'm listening to Groove Coverage's "God is a Girl" right now, which (for some strange reason) reminds me of… (cymbal roll please) YACHIRU! 11th division chibi action! Muah ha!

Mommy

"Ken-chan! Ken-chan!"

"What is it? I'm right freakin' here," the formidable 11th squad taichou growled, not unkindly.

"Who's my mommy?"

"I don't know who your mother is, Yachiru," Kenpachi grunted exasperatedly. "As far as I know, no one does."

Dammit, where the Hell was this coming from? The great bear of a man puzzled as he glanced musingly at his lieutenant. Little snot must have been watching soaps with Rangiku again…

"That's okay! I'll just find one!"

"Find one-- what-- ?"

"Yup! I'm gonna find a mommy!"

Kenpachi rubbed calloused fingers at the bewildered crease in his forehead. He felt the first tickling of amusement. "Che. C'mon, Yachiru, if you're not careful you're gonna hurt my feelings."

"Why's that?" The girl's eyes twinkled deviously.

"Well, I—" He paused, recognizing the mischief on the girl's face. "Just what are you driving at?"

"Oh, nothing! It's nothing at all," Yachiru trilled. Her giggling was getting close to uncontrollable by this point. "Just wanted to know who my Mommy is, that's all."

Kenpachi gave only a grunt in response. This did not satisfy his lieutenant at all. Taking a deep breath, she drew out her most powerful attack. Blinking her eyes quickly to moisten them and rolling out her bottom lip pitifully, she whimpered slightly and tugged on the big man's sleeve.

"Huh—aw, geez…" even one of the most powerful men in Soul Society was no match for the Yachiru Ultimate Pout. "Look, as far as that goes, I'm sort of your—" he grimaced, "Mommy, so don't—"

In a moment, the act dropped. "YAAYYYYYYYY!!!!" the pink cupcake of a vice-captain squealed, wrapping herself around the captain's neck and all but strangling him then and there.

"What... the..." a very sheepish Zaraki stuttered, as his vice-captain appeared to direct her attention elsewhere.

"Pretty-boy! Baldy! He said it! HE SAID IIIT!"

The sound of raucous applause and whooping came from the nearest corner, as Yumichika and Ikkaku stepped into view.

"Nice one!" Ikkaku shouted, planting a theatrical high-five on the lieutenant's diminutive hand, for once ignoring the nickname.

"Oh, that was so beautiful, taichou!" fifth seat Ayasegawa sang, clasping his hands girlishly under his chin.

To this day, there are only three people in existence who have seen Kenpachi blush. That's probably not going to change anytime soon, as long as those three value their lives.

In an instant, the atmosphere was on fire. The air crackled and the buildings blurred as a raw, murderous reiatsu filled the place. As the two officers fell back from suffocation, the tiny lieutenant followed, looking unaffected by the pressure, but slightly worried.

"Let's leave Ken-chan alone for awhile," she said softly, as she helped the gasping men to a less dangerous area.

As soon as they were gone, Captain Zaraki replaced his eyepatch. His sneer softened slightly as he noticed something on the ground where Yachiru had been sitting.

"Well, if it ain't a—diary?"

Diary wasn't exactly the right word for it. Given the lieutenant's level of vocabulary and organization skills, it might more accurately be termed a book of scribbles. Every page was a story told in pictures, with childishly exaggerated features and expressions. There was even a full two-page spread devoted to two enormous circles and a stick-body with long orange hair. "Big Booby-chan" was scrawled in pink across the drawing's… er, focus.

Kenpachi flipped through the storybook for a few minutes, until he reached a page which was mostly handwriting, with a lopsided heart as the only picture. Next to that was scratched, "cute things to make Ken-chan say."

"I'm your Mommy" was at the very top of the list, complete with underscore, circle, check-mark, and star around it. He must have just given the girl quite a prize.

"Her biological parents should consider themselves lucky," he grumbled… with a huge, sheepish grin on his face.

-e-n-d-c-h-a-p-t-e-r-4-

A/N: Is it everything you hoped for? Is it crap? Oh, well. I'm terribly sorry about the wait, I blame—five professors, over one hundred classmates, crazy friends, and my roommates! Not me! XP

The Hollow Inside, HitokiriKurisuta, and Hearii, I'll get to your requests eventually, but it may take a very long time (as you've probably already figured out). Gomenasai, please forgive me for being a slave to Teh Edjukashun!