Episode 15: Internal Conflict

Mariemaia looked at her reflection in the mirror in her quarters and picked up a pair of stud earrings. They were the custom-made pair that Zhacque had given her for Christmas the year before; the light caught on the stylized letter "M," engraved and inlaid with gold on each small, faceted ruby in their gold settings.

I remember the time Zhacque gave me these, she thought, putting them on.

Mariemaia entered the school building and spotted Zhacque standing against the wall, eyes closed. She went up to him.

"Hi!" she said. "Have a good Christmas?"

Zhacque opened his eyes. God she's beautiful, he thought. What he said was, "Yeah, thanks. You?"

"Pretty good. You know I'm in the Preventers, right?"

Zhacque nodded.

"I got a promotion," she grinned.

"That reminds me," Zhacque said, "I got you something."

"You didn't have to do that," Mariemaia blushed slightly.

"I know, but I wanted to," Zhacque pressed a small box into her hand.

Mariemaia carefully opened the box and opened it up. Nestled inside was a pair of earrings, each one a small ruby in gold settings with the stylized letter "M" she had used as her symbol 8 years ago engraved on the gem's largest facet and inlaid with gold leaf.

"They're beautiful, Zhacque," she said, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Zhacque replied, fighting down a blush.

Just then, the bell rang, indicating that classes were about to begin. "Well, I'll see you later then," Mariemaia said.

Zhacque watched Mariemaia came into Knights of the Realm's ready room. For a moment, he saw the light glint off of one of her earrings, and recognized them immediately.

She's wearing the earrings I gave her again. I'm glad she likes them. Of course, Zhacque thought gloomily to himself, I remember what happened the last time I noticed her wearing them, too…

Mariemaia and Zhacque exited the building and made their way toward the residential sector, talking about school, the training, and life in general. A light breeze riffled through their hair, and Zhacque caught a glimpse of her earrings.

You're wearing the earrings I gave you for Christmas," Zhacque observed.

"Yeah," Mariemaia said, "and I've been wondering how you got my symbol on there. Did you have them custom-made or something?"

Zhacque nodded.

"Wasn't that expensive?"

"Kind of. A little," Zhacque replied evasively. "Yeah."

"How much?"

"I can't remember exactly. A couple hundred, maybe?"

Her eyes narrowed and she said, "Liar. How much? Really?"

"Five fifty. Maybe six," he replied quietly.

"You shouldn't go spending that much on me!" she shouted. "I'm flattered, of course, and I appreciate it, but you didn't even have a job before Christmas!"

She stared at him, thoughts churning in her mind. Why? turned up the most often, but How did he get the money? was a close second. Finally she settled on the former. "Why?" she asked.

"Because I love you," he said. Mariemaia's eyes widened.

"Oh," she said quietly.

The pair of walked on in silence until they came to the next intersection. "Well, I have to go this way," Mariemaia said, indicating the right. "See you tomorrow, Zhacque," and she walked away, rather more quickly than she would have normally.

"See you tomorrow," Zhacque repeated to her retreating back before starting to trudge home.

God, you stupid human, Zhacque thought, tears of anger and frustration welling in his eyes, why did you have to fall in love with her? He waited for an answer from himself, but knew there would be none.

Why do I always feel so strongly for women, he wondered miserably, who will never return my feelings? Why is it that no one can love me? he asked, but no answer came. Zhacque walked home, crying silently and wallowing in depression. Through it all, one question echoed painfully in his mind: Why can't I be loved?

Mariemaia walked over to Zhacque. "Hi," she said. "D'you want to practice the system?"

Zhacque hesitated a moment, looked around to see if Mike was watching, then stood up. "Sure," he answered.

In the cockpit of her Taurus II, Mariemaia smiled to herself. Mike believes that Zhacque and I are violating regulations by having an affair. While the second part of that statement may not be true, we are breaking regs by training ourselves to use the Zero system. In doing so, we are endangering our ability to carry out our missions calmly and with no unnecessary risk to ourselves, our allies, or to the civilians we're supposed to protect. The Zero system can warp our minds and make us reckless. But at the other end, once mastered, Zero can show us the best way to complete our missions without taking unnecessary risks. I told Zhacque I only wanted to try the thing out, but in reality, what I really wanted was to see if the system could help me avoid situations like the one in which my allies died following my orders.

She activated the Zero system and heard Zhacque say, "Let's dance!" At once, she was enveloped in a yellow glow, and her mind went back to the battlefield of the past...

Mariemaia heard Roche's orders and began firing, careful to neither overheat nor drain her weapon.

"Mariemaia," a voice on her comm said. A part of her brain not actively involved in the battle noted that only Zhacque ever called her that in the unit.

"Yeah Zhacque? What is it?" she concentrated on the MS in front of her. It had a dome-shaped head and shoulder guards like those of a Virgo.

"I have an idea that might save the unit. I've set my AI to do the shooting so I could think about it. What we need to do is reprogram our defensors to block blasts coming from inside the sphere. Then we scatter and trap the enemy inside the sphere, where we can destroy them at our leisure."

"Good idea, Zhacque. Hang on," Mariemaia commed Roche. "Sir, could I take command of the unit for a minute? There's a trick Zhacque came up with, I want to try it."

"Go ahead, Kushrenada. Trainees, Kushrenada is now in command of the unit."

"Alright, on my mark, scatter, and leave your defensors behind."

"But…!"

"That was an order," Mariemaia said coolly. "I am in charge here, and I expect my orders to be followed."

"Yes, Lieutenant," came the sheepish reply. Mariemaia paused momentarily, as if waiting for anyone else to dispute her orders, then said, quite calmly, "Mark."

The squadron scattered in multiple directions. However, some, doubting in the soundness of the plan, lagged a little bit behind the others, and were picked off by the Medusas, who then turned their attention to the surviving members of the squadron.

"Damn! Casualty report!" Mariemaia snapped at her comm. No... it was my fault... I should have explained it to them...

"Zhacque here. We've lost Peters and Nadeau."

"Sullivan reporting. Your brilliant plan got Grey killed."

"Zhacque's brilliant plan," emphasized Mariemaia, putting her grief aside, "is the reason the Martians aren't shooting us up as we speak. Fire at will."

Why did they die? Whose fault was it? Was it mine? Mariemaia's eyes filled with tears as the pain she still had not come to terms with surged up. Whose fault was it? Her mind cried in anguish.

The yellow glow of the Zero system cleared, and she saw Zhacque.

It's his fault? "No!" she shook the tears from her eyes. "It's not fair! I won't blame him for this!"

His fault, whispered Zero.

"NO!"

"Nice thrust, Mariemaia. You got me," Zhacque sounded slightly surprised.

"Thanks," she said.

His fault…

Mike entered KotR's ready room and looked around. Damn, he thought. I must've missed them. He spotted Phinney and went over. "Hey, Phinney. Have Mariemaia and Zhacque been in here?"

"Yeah, for a little while. Then they left to go practice in the sims in the hangar. I swear, sometimes I think that's all they do," Phinney shook his head.

"I know what you mean," Mike laughed. "Well, thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Mike left the ready room and set off down the corridor, thinking. Why always the hangar? Anyone could just stumble over them... Well, actually, there are plenty of seldom-used rooms leading off from the hangar...

A new thought struck him. What if they really are practicing? I'll just pretend that I was coming to join them. They should buy that. With that thought, Mike walked into the hangar.

The hangar Mike was in served Knights of the Realm and the other squadrons billeted in that sector of Vulkanus. Taurus IIs lined the walls of the huge, spacious chamber, and large, mobile-suit-sized corridors led deep into the interior of the orbital facility. The maintenance techs were working on the far side of the cavernous space, and indistinct sounds echoed across the room to Mike's ears.

Mike looked around and opened the door to the simulation control chamber. The displays were on, and they registered Mariemaia's and Zhacque's suits as activated and linked into the sim net. Before he could get close enough to decipher the readouts, however, the screens blanked and displayed a "Simulation Over" message. Mike switched on the microphone. "Hey, you two," he said.

"Hey, you two," Mike's image popped up on Zhacque's screen.

"Hey, Mike," Zhacque replied. "What're you doing?"

"I just came down to join you guys," Mike said. "I figure that the reason you two are so good is 'cause you practice these simulations so obsessively, no offense, and, well, I wanna be as good a pilot as I can."

"Great," Mariemaia said, sounding slightly distracted. "Listen, Mike, could you set the control unit for two consecutive missions? In the first one, give us some AI opponents, but for the second one just leave it as a blank battle area so we can test our skills on each other."

"Sure thing," Mike answered, typing commands rapidly.

"Thanks. Zhacque, switch to a private channel for a sec."

For a moment, Mike debated whether or not to switch along with them, but decided against it. The comm systems automatically notified pilots when a third person joined their conversation unless a specific command sequence was entered, and he didn't have the time. Besides, showing his true motivations would get him nowhere at that point.

"Okay, Zhacque, I probably don't need to say this, but - "

"You sure don't," Zhacque interrupted. "I'm deactivating the system as we speak."

"Right," Mariemaia followed suit. "I'm switching back to the open channel now. We're back, Mike."

"Just in time. The missions are set up, so I'm getting into my Taurus."

Mike settled himself in the pilot's chair in the cockpit of his suit.

"So Mike, how many bad guys are we up against?" Zhacque asked.

"About 12 Medusas. I figured that the three of us could take that many. I hope I wasn't overestimating our skills."

"Dunno, Mike. We'll have to see."

"Here they come!" Mariemaia shouted. "We'll hit them with a barrage from our beam rifles, and then close in so we can use our sabres. Got it?"

"Roger," Zhacque said.

"Will comply," Mike replied.

"Fire!"

The three Taurus IIs opened fire on the approaching Martian mobile suits, which easily dodged most of the shots.

"Shit," Mike said. "I should've realized that would happen."

Zhacque tossed his beam rifle aside after emptying its charge and pulled out his two beam sabres. "Let's dance, you guys."

"Definitely," Mariemaia agreed, following suit. "Ready, Mike?"

"Whenever you are," Mike informed her.

"In that case, CHARGE!" Mariemaia led the way, closely followed by the other two.

"HYAAAAAH!" Mike shouted, swinging one of his sabres at a Medusa. The blow connected, and the Martian suit was suddenly missing an arm. He followed with a stab through the torso and jetted away to attack another enemy. Sparing a quick glance at Zhacque and Mariemaia, he saw that they had destroyed a pair of Medusas each already. Dispatching a sixth suit with a double slash, Mike darted away from it.

"You bastard!" Zhacque yelled at the Medusa that had just shot his Taurus's left arm off before running it through with his remaining beam sabre. Charging straight at its compatriot, Zhacque deftly maneuvered behind the Martian mobile suit, interposing it between his suit and the detonation of his latest victim. Slicing his sabre upwards, Zhacque bisected it vertically and kicked it away before leaving it to its demise.

"Whoops, didn't hit me!" Mariemaia dodged the shots of a frustrated Medusa as she rocketed ever closer. "Ungh!" A shot impacted her suit's armor from behind, and she was thrown forward in her crash harness. "Well, take this!" She blasted at full power toward her original target, slamming into it. One sabre she plunged into its midsection. Then, ripping her weapon sideways, she pushed away from her crippled enemy and headed back at the mobile suit that had fired at her. Also on heading for it was Zhacque, on a collision course. The Medusa shifted its aim to Zhacque's Taurus, and Mariemaia cut it into three pieces, bringing her beam sabres across from either side. Zhacque piled on his braking thrusters, and managed to avoid getting caught in the blast when the Medusa exploded.

"You okay?" Zhacque asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," Mariemaia replied, "But weren't there twelve Medusas?"

"Mike got the other four, so we're all three of us even."

"Which means that it's everyone for themselves," Mike inserted into the conversation, "'cause it's time for the true contest of skills."

Zhacque eyed Mike's Taurus II. Like Mariemaia's, it still had both of its sabres, but the top portion of the head unit was damaged. Both Mike and Mariemaia have two sabres, Zhacque thought, but Mariemaia was hit in the back, damaging her primary thrusters, while Mike's head has been damaged, which if I'm not mistaken should result in a degradation of his targeting capabilities. All in all, the three of us are pretty evenly matched as far as our suits go.

"Right you are, Mike," Zhacque said, "so let's get to it." And he quickly lopped off one of the arms of Mike's Taurus II.

"Hey, no fair," Mike complained, jetting away and trying to drag a targeting bracket over Zhacque's suit. What the hell? Why won't it lock on? Just then, Mariemaia came barreling down on Zhacque, who dodged her downward slash. In a flash of insight, Mike realized, Of course! The head unit's where our targeting computers are, and mine's been damaged. Damn!

Spinning, Mariemaia whipped her other sabre through Mike's mobile suit, eliminating him from the simulation. "It's down to you and me, Zhacque," she said, turning and seeing Zhacque's one-armed Taurus bearing down on her. Knowing she had no time to dodge, Mariemaia fastened her grip on Zhacque's suit as he thrust his sabre into her mobile suit so that the resultant detonation destroyed both of them.

"I dunno about you guys, but I'm starving. Wanna hit the mess?" Zhacque asked.

"No, thanks," Mike said. "I'm gonna stay here a little while longer, do some more sim work."

"Sure, why not?" Mariemaia sounded distracted, and her eyes were troubled as the voice of the Zero System came back to haunt her.

His fault...

After Zhacque and Mariemaia had left, Mike looked up at their Tauruses and smiled a nasty little smile to himself. "Now, let's see how skilled those two are when their targeting systems are malfunctioning... Heh heh heh heh."

To be continued in Episode 16: Zero, Unleashed