As the train lurched forward to start its trek to Long Island, Malinowski's stomach lurched as well. She told herself the first trip would be the hardest, as the walls of the train seemed to close in around her. Grudgingly, she pulled the bottle of anti-anxiety medicine from the pocket of her suit jacket and washed a pill down with the remains of her mocha.

She'd deliberately chosen a seat near the bathroom, just in case the forty minutes train ride proved to be too much of a challenge to her gastrointestinal system. After three weeks remaining

Only Liz Olivett knew how taxing the trips away from the loft had been and thankfully she was bound by doctor/ patient prevailage.

While the outing to the Van Burens' had been an unexpected pleasure, regardless of the unexpected heart to heart Malinowski and Anita Van Buren had about Mike Logan, Malinowski knew the main reason she'd survived it was McCoy's presence. Being alone on the train gave her too much time to think…to remember…

Pushing the images of Ivan and Demtri as far to the back of her mind as she could, she turned her thoughts to her Sunday morning walk through Central Park. A walk she'd taken remembering how Mike Logan had once mentioned his Sunday morning ritual of reading the Sunday Times over eggs Benedict at Tavern on the Green before the after church crowd arrived…

When she walked into the restaurant only a few patrons, all dressed in running attire, were in the dining room. At the window facing the lake sat a single soul, face concealed by the Times sports section.

"Mike?"

When he looked up from the paper, Logan removed his reading glasses and grinned as he gave Malinowski the once over.

"Well look at you, counselor. Looks like hospital food agrees with you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. Going back to work Monday. Listen, are you meeting someone or can I sit for a second?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who's spoken for. You can sit whether or not I'm meeting anyone, which shocking as it may seem, I am not. Which reminds me, where's your lesser half?"

"I told Jack I needed to see you. Alone."

Logan's eyes widened as the waiter came towards the table. After bringing a second glass of water and refilling Logan's coffee cup the uniformed young man disappeared.

"I'm sure that news went over well with McCoy," Logan commented dryly.

"Right now, the last thing Jack is going to do, is turn cave man on me," she shot back bluntly."I told him I hadn't had a chance to thank you since I came home from the hospital, which is true. I talked to Ed Green the first day I got home and he told me you were unavailable. He just didn't tell me you were unavailable because you kissed me and got yourself suspended."

"Damn," Logan said softly."Who told you?"

"Does it matter? What matters is you saved my life and got kicked in the teeth for your trouble."

"Actually, I kind of kicked myself in the teeth," Logan admitted, with equal candor."I basically told my CO to go to hell and I got nailed. The kiss thing..."

"I don't know who I'm madder at Mike: Myself for being too weak to put the brakes on this flirting with destiny crap I've been doing with you or at you, for using me to play another round of Russian Roulette with your career-"

"Me. Definitely, me."

"What," she said shaking her head.

"You're madder at me," he said confidently."Hands down. No contest."

"Stop screwing around and be serious," she snapped.

"Brooke, come on. You were high as a kite and in shock. I was a jerk. You could have just told me that over the phone and saved yourself the hassle," he said knowingly."You're alive, you're safe and you're going to become Mrs. DA. Why are you wasting a beautiful Sunday morning tying yourself up in knots over a guy like me?"

Malinowski rolled her eyes as she continued to shake her head in amazement.

"A guy like you, huh? Not only are you the guy that saved my life, you're a guy I really do think of as a friend. A good one, at that. "

"You know how cold that 'let's be friends' thing is, right?"

Malinowski gave him a sideways look and surprised them both by leaning closer to run a thoughtful hand over his cheek.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you Logan?"

"Would you respect me in the morning if I did," he shot back confidently.

"It is morning, Logan," she said abruptly standing." Fine. If that's the way you want... just remember... you asked for this."

Logan braced himself for the expected glass of water to be thrown or a slap across his face, well aware he was being reckless and flippant.

He knew the kiss had been a mistake the second he did it. Not only because Van Buren had been standing in the door way, but because he'd crossed a very brightly painted line.

It had been an impulsive gesture to not only express his own relief and pleasure at knowing Malinowski was safe, but to put to rest the desire he'd had for months. Now he knew it was a gesture that would end a potentially friendship, he had quickly come to value.

"God Mike, do you know what a pain in the ass you are?"

Before he could answer, Logan found himself unable to respond. Malinowski unexpectedly leaned over him and kissed him with passion that dumbfounded the detectiuve. Logan instictively pulled back; almost send them both to the floor.

"Brooke, what the hell was that," he sputtered as he continued to hold her at arm's length.

"That my friend,was the big kiss off," she said arrogantly."You know you're as big a flirt as I am, Logan. Which makes for a very dangerous combination...both of us pushing just a little bit further... trying to see how far the other will let things go. Well now we know how far this goes, and how far this doesn't go, don't we?"

"I know you're nuts," he said with a smirk."Does that count?"

"Nuts about Jack McCoy. Although, you're the one driving me crazy at the moment," she countered, as she reached for her bag."Mike, we were both curious. Now we know. If you still want to be friends, friends we will be. But lovers? Not in this lifetime. Deal?"

Logan squeezed her hand and grinned knowingly back at her.

"Deal. Now if only…"

Malinowski waited.

"If only," Logan continued with a wink," that cute brunette in Major Felonies would cut a deal the way you just did with me. Then I'd be a happy guy."

Malinowski found herself surprised by the sound of her own soft chuckle.

I actually felt like myself for more than five seconds, she mused as the train slowed as the Islip station came into view. Now if I can just keep it together long enough to fool Jake, I'll have it made in the shade.