No, the colon ain't what I rip out of my children, though I often do. Freddy cackles at his words as Jamie gets slightly sick to his stomach. He can't help it, the image was just too graphic not to imagine. This particular colon is one of the most misused of all punctuation marks, and yet it's one of the scariest. People use colons often, when they really should use commas.

So what does a colon do, exactly, other than put thoughts of delicious disembowlment into my head? In short, you can use colons to introduce statements that summarize, restate or explain what is said in an independent clause. I'll get ta independent clauses in a bit, ok?

A colon can introduce a list only when the words before the colon are an independent clause

If you really want to stay alive, you need to do two things: learn to think on your feet to outsmart me(which ain't gonna happen, boy), or fall in love with coffee.

You use the colon in the above example because the section before it appears is an independent clause, while the section after explains what is said in that clause. That introductory section has to be independent, otherwise you go to grammar hell. With me as your everlasting instructor. Another cackle; another shiver.

A colon can also introduce an appositive, a word or words that rename a noun or pronoun, but only if the introductory words form an independent clause.

The boiler room of Freddy has one outstanding feature: the charmingly evil Dream Deamon.

["The big, bad god of war" renames 'the feature'.

A colon can introduce a quotation, but only if the words before the colon are an independent clause. Use a comma, not a colon, if the words before the quotation are not an independent clause.

Freddy, voice a low rumble like the bowels of Hell opening, insists you're the victim on his list: "Your body's mine. Your soul is mine. Come to Freddy." Freddy's eyes twinkle devillishy as he delivers that line. Jamie starts to cry. Freddy seems energized by those tears; he moves on almost cheerfully.

When the first independent clause explains or summarizes the second independent clauses, a colon can separate them.

I'll never forget the first time he slid those sharp blades into me: I was lying on my bed and then he popped up without warning.

Misuse of the Colon

A complete independent clause must come before a colon, except with standard material, like chapters and verses of the Satanic Bible. When you don't have an independent clause in the introductory part, you don't use a colon.

NO: Freddy killed: Rod, Tina, then you.

YES: Freddy killed Rod, Tina, then you.

The words or phrases such as, including, and like can be tricky: don't let them lure you into using a colon incorrectly.

NO: Freddy complains about a lot of things, like: his step-father's neglect, the mockery of his classmates, and how the thought of revenge makes him want to sing.

YES: Freddy complains about a lot of things, like his his step-father's neglect, the mockery of his classmates, and how the thought of revenge makes him want to sing.

Don't use a colon to separate a phrase or dependent clause from an independent clause:

NO: Night after night: the Dream Daemon bathes in the blood of the innocent.

YES: Day after day, the Dream Daemon bathes in the blood of the innocent.

NO: At the day's end: Freddy waits for the sweet sounds of the sleep of his children to call to him.

YES: At the day's end,Freddy waits for the sweet sounds of the sleep of his children to call to him.