Okay, so pretty long chapter here. Got some more lemon. YAY lemons!

Anywho, so Kenshin and I had a long talk the other night, thought you might enjoy a bit of the conversation.

Katerineious: Hi Kenshin, why do you look so sad?
Kenshin: Kat-dono, why do you always make this one out to be such a wimp. Sessha loves Kaoru-dono very much that he does and would never treat her the way you have him in your stories.
Katerineious: I know that, and you know that, but it does make for some interesting fanfictional drama.
Kenshin: But it still upsets this one greatly.
Katerineious: Why is that, Kenshin?
Kenshin: Why do you pair Sessha's wife with Sessha's master?
Katerineious: Kenshin, what part of fiction don't you understand?
Kenshin: Kat-dono is avoiding my question. I see you starring at Shishou, Kat-dono, please quit drooling.
Katerineious: whining But Kenshin! He's just soooooooooo sexy!
Kenshin: sighs Back to my question . . .

Chapter 5: Hiding From the Pain

Hiko woke the next morning before Kaoru. After watching to make sure her sleep wasn't too restless, he slid out of the futon, retrieved his gi and katana and silently left the room to go make breakfast, guessing that she wouldn't sleep much longer.

He was almost finished, waiting on the tea to finish brewing when Kenshin entered the room. Hiko knew when he had first entered the dojo and didn't bother turning around when he asked, "What do you want?"

Kenshin spoke softly, not wanting to alert Kaoru to his presence there. "I won't be long, Shishou." Hiko noticed tone of voice and turned around to look into those sad violet eyes. "I want to see her again."

"No."

"I want to talk to her, nothing more."

"Don't you think you've done more than enough? I know what happened last night." Kenshin eyes dropped in shame. "Why would you do that to her?" No answer. They stared at each other for a moment before Hiko asked his next question. "Why didn't you come for her when she called out to you?"

"You wouldn't have given her to me."

"You're right, I wouldn't. But if you had it would have shown her that you were trying to take care of her again and turned her anger towards me instead. I'll ask again, why didn't you come for her?"

"I . . . I don't know."

"Were you afraid?"

"Hai."

"Why?"

"Because she told me that she wasn't ready for me to come home yet." Kenshin turned his head away from Hiko so he wouldn't shown his master his tears. "I asked her last night and she said 'not yet.' What was I supposed to do? Especially now that I know that I might have lost her to you?"

Hiko crossed the room and put his hand on his apprentice's shoulder, waiting for Kenshin to face him again. When he finally resumed their eye contact, Hiko spoke. "Listen to me, Kenshin. She's in no state to see you so soon again. She needs to figure some things out before that. If you keep adding to her confusion she's never going to reach a decision." Kenshin opened his mouth to speak but Hiko cut him off. "I said listen to me. Three days. Give her three days to think. Give her three days without your presence bearing down on her. Three days to do whatever she needs to do to get through this. And I don't mean stay on the other side of the fence like you've been doing. Go to the other side of Tokyo, haunt one of the shrines as Shinomori does, something, anything far enough away from her that both of you are free of the other physically for those three days. After that, even if she has yet to reach a decision, I won't stop you from seeing her. But you must also promise that that is all it will be. Don't try to force yourself on her again. If you break either one of those conditions you forfeit your right to see her again until she has fully reached a decision. I'll have Saito arrest you if need be." Hiko could see the unanswered question haunting Kenshin's eyes. "And I'll tell you the same thing I told her: I'm not here to replace you. I came to make sure she was safe. I've done nothing she hasn't asked me to do and I want you to know that. My aim is not to steal her love away from you because I could never return it, and you needn't worry about it anyway because she only has eyes for you. This decision she has to make has nothing to do with me."

"Very well, Shishou. I'll return the morning of the fourth day. Do not inform Kaoru of this. I don't want her thinking that she only has three days to decide."

"I wasn't planning to. Now go, before she wakes up."

Kenshin gave a slight bow and was gone before Hiko could say anything else. Hiko placed the food and tea on a tray and headed back to Kaoru's room, not happy at all with the way things were going.

Kaoru was lying on her back on the futon, passionately kissing the man above her. His tongue forced its way into her mouth, tasting her, as one of his hands undid the tie to her yukata. He pulled away from her mouth, smiling at the gasp she made as the cool night air touch her hot skin. He opened her yukata fully and leaned back to look at her. "Beautiful . . ." he whispered into the night.

Kaoru felt her cheeks grow warm from blushing. She looked into the eyes of the man above her. He was smiling lovingly down at her. She watched the pleased expressions on his face as his hands caressed her body. His face came closer to hers again and their lips met once more.

This kiss was softer, each one giving and taking, neither trying for control. Kaoru moved her hands slowly up his bare back to his hair. She pulled the tie from his hair, releasing the fiery strands, relishing the feeling created as they cascading around his face and caressed her own. His hair created a dark barrier between the two lovers and the rest of the world and he deepened the kiss.

Kaoru was out breath by the time his lips left hers to slowly travel along her jaw to her ear. As his lips and tongue danced along the sensitive skin his hands removed both their yukatas fully. His mouth slid down her neck to the tight peak of her breast as he pressed the length of his body along hers.

"Kenshin . . ." she moaned as he transferred his attention to her other breast. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her.

Kenshin released his hold on her breast and brought his mouth to hers once again. He lifted her body and wrapped his arms underneath her. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he thrust his tongue into her mouth again. One of her hands fisted in his hair as she moaned into his mouth, her hips moving involuntarily, rubbing herself along the length of him. Kenshin growled into her mouth in response and pressed himself firmly against her, heightening the sensation.

He could feel her movements quickening underneath him and he deepened the kiss even further. Her nails scratched his back, her fingers pulled his hair, her moans growing louder and more frequent as she got closer and closer to her climax. Kenshin began to move his hips in time with hers and she pressed her body even closer to his. Then, in one swift motion he buried himself deep within her.

The next moment he savored every second she was screaming into his mouth, their bodies wrapped tightly around each other. He released her mouth again, letting her catch her breath.

Kaoru opened her heavy eyes to look at the man above her and let out a small sound of excitement. The pigment in the purple eyes above was so dark with lust they were almost black. "Arigato," she said weakly. He just smiled down at her. "Is it your turn yet?"

"No, not yet." His voice was deep and dripping with his need for her. She reached her hands up to gently play with his hair. He closed his eyes, enjoying her movements. "I want this to last."

He bent his head to kiss her again, but there was a pounding on the shoji that it should not have been able to withstand. Kenshin burst out of her arms with an angry sound like that a large cat. She watched as he quickly searched the room for his sakabato and rounded on her when he couldn't find it. He grabbed her shoulders, his eyes burning yellow fire as the pounding from the flimsy door resonated through the room. "You did this." His voice was lathered with hatred. "Where did you hide it? Why would you betray me?"

"KAORU!" Came the call from behind the shoji. The wood should have been a mass of splinters from the beating it had received and it showed no signs of weakening.

"Go away! I don't know you!" she said through angry tears.

"Why would you betray me, Kaoru?" Kenshin asked again.

"I didn't." Kenshin leant over her, pressing her body to the floor, one hand one her throat. "NO!"

Kaoru sat up with such force that she was able to push Hiko off of her. She was shaking violently and looked around the room frightened. Her eyes passed over Hiko a dozen times before her mind registered he was there. When she saw the look in his eyes, she realized what had happened. Her body stilled and her breathing steadied. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream."

"Kaoru?"

"I'm fine. It, it was just a dream."

"That's right. You're safe."

Kaoru took in several deep breaths. "I know. I know."

When the room had been bathed in silence for a few moments and he was sure there wouldn't be an outburst from her he spoke. "Kaoru, are you hungry? I've already got breakfast prepared."

She turned her head to look at him. "Hai. I'm famished."

"Good," he said as he crossed the room to retrieve the tray he left by the wall. He placed the tray before her and stood by the wall again to watch her eat in silence. He waited until she had almost finished the food before speaking again. "Kaoru, are you sure you're alright? Is it because of what happened last night?"

"Somewhat. It's a bit of everything. I wish everyone would just leave me alone. I know it's wrong to think that way after everything Hiko has done to help me through this, but I just need some alone time." "No, I'm fine. I'm still just a little shaken up from the dream."

"Wanna talk about it."

"No."

"You don't have to tell me the truth if you don't want to. I won't force it out of you."

Kaoru gave him a hard look before finishing the remainder of her breakfast. That's when she noticed there were two cups of tea on her tray. "Hiko?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you make me two cups of tea?"

"That one is your normal green tea," he said pointing to the cup on the left. "The other is another cup of what I gave you before to help you sleep. I thought you might like the option to spending day resting."

She picked up the cup on the left. "Arigato, but I think I've spent enough time in bed." After finishing the tea, she stood and handed the tray to him. "Arigato, for making breakfast for me again."

"No problem."

"I'm going to go practice. It's been almost a week since I was in the dojo."

Kaoru moved through her katas with grace, grateful that her movements hadn't started to get rusty from lack of exercise in the past few days. She was pleased that Hiko desired his solitude as much as he did because after seeing her safely into the dojo he had gone to locate his abandoned sake from the previous night and place himself in a secluded corner.

For the first hour Kaoru went through her routine with enthusiasm, completely focused on her task. However, as her energy slowly waned, her mind began to wander to subjects other than the one at hand.

By the end of the second hour her train of thought had completely turned around. One thing her mind refused to lose focus on was the dream. Pieces of it snaked into her thoughts, taunting her. She kept seeing Kenshin's face and no matter which way she turned she could feel his eyes upon her. Her skin was burning from remembering his touches.

"Oh, Kami-sama! Why?" Kaoru cried out in anger and frustration as she threw her bokken across the dojo where it hit the wall with a loud crash. She fell to the ground, fists clenched by her side, angry tears cascading down her face.

"KENSHIN! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Kaoru beat on the hardwood floor with her fists. "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME! WHY DO I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH? WHY CAN'T I JUST LET YOU GO? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GO?" Her fists were clenched so tightly that her nails drew blood. "WHY CAN'T YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT?" Kaoru drew her knees under her and put her forehead on them. "Why don't I know what I want?"

"Kaoru?" Hiko asked softly from the doorway.

"H-Hiko."

"Kenshin can't hear you."

"I'm shouting loud enough aren't I?"

"That's not the problem. He left so the decision would be easier for you."

"He left again?"

"I thought you wanted him gone."

"I did. I do. For now . . ."

"You know he'll be back, this isn't permanent."

"I know."

"Then why are you so upset."

Kaoru didn't answer him. She stared straight ahead until he came to kneel a couple feet away from her. She spooked, pushing away shouting, "Don't touch me."

"I wasn't going to. What's wrong, Kaoru." She still refused to answer him. "I just want to know what's wrong so I can help you if I can. I know you're suffering. Let me help you, Kaoru."

When she finally spoke in was in a small, hesitant voice. "Do you really want to help me?"

Hiko's face betrayed his confusion. "I wouldn't offer if I didn't."

"How serious are you?"

"I'll do anything you need me to do to help you through this."

Kaoru contemplated his answer before taking the master swordsman by surprise by jumping into his arms and pressing her lips against his. Hiko waited for the shock to pass before responding to her, moving his lips with hers. She wrapped her fingers tightly in his hair, her legs closing around his waist. His arms closed around her smaller frame, one holding the back of her head as he began to lean over her. She opened her mouth in response, letting him taster her fully.

The kiss lasted until Kaoru pulled away for air. Hiko opened his eyes and looked at her questioningly. "I don't understand."

"The dream," she said as if that explained everything.

"You're going to have to elaborate."

"I had a dream about Kenshin. I don't know how to explain it other than my body is on fire from remembering his touches. I need you to make it stop. I don't want to remember that. If I do then I've already had my mind made up for me."

"And you really think this will help?"

"I do."

"Why?"

"Because it helped last time."

"I don't see where it did more than increase your pain."

"I'm actually alive again. I'm not just going through the motions." She paused and looked again into his eyes. "I can say his name again." Hiko didn't answer so she deftly removed his gi and let it fall to the floor behind him.

In response he puts his hands on her shoulders to force her to look at him again. "Your husband returned to you. If this is what you want then you need to tell him. I'm sure I can find him easily."

Kaoru shook her head. "I don't want Kenshin. I want you because you haven't hurt me like he has. This isn't about looking for a new relationship. This isn't about love. I just want to forget everything, put it all behind me, if only for a small moment in time." At seeing the hurt and betrayal on her face he pulled her lips back to his again.

When he broke the kiss she saw the need burning in his eyes. Too quick for her feel, much less see he removed their clothing and had her on all fours on the floor. He positioned himself behind her and pressed himself to her entrance.

"I'm not ready."

"I know." His voice was deeper than normal, almost raspy. He put his hands on her breasts and bit hard between her shoulder blades before quickly sheathing himself inside her. She cried out, her body convulsing around him as the orgasm was forced upon her.

"What did you do?" she asked when she had enough air.

He moved so he was positive he wouldn't crush her under his weight. He began to roughly massage her breasts roughly before answering her. He was having a hard time controlling himself. "You're so tight, it forced you body into it."

Kaoru began to grunt in answer but it was quickly changed to a moan as he pulled back out of her. His motions were slow at first, as he made room for himself. He moved faster and deeper with each thrust, holding her to him tightly. He was holding her breasts so strongly she was sure they would bruise. He was deeper than he had been last time because the position. Kaoru was releasing small noises of pain and pleasure as he reached the end of her passage repeatedly. She let out a scream when his teeth finally broke through the skin on her back and then none to gently sucked the wound clean of blood.

He removed his left hand from her breast and moved his right to that breast so he could still hold her up. His free hand closed lightly in her hair, extracting another sound of pain as he turned her head to look at him. "Did you enjoy that?" He had to loosen his hold so she could nod, almost beyond words. He moved to bite down on her top of her shoulder, never breaking eye contact. Half a minute later she was screaming from her second release.

Her arms gave out and she collapsed to the ground as the last wave of pleasure broke over her. A silent laugh built deep in Hiko's chest as he used his arms to hold them both up. "Sop hat," she slurred when she felt him laughing against her backside. "'Snot funny."

"You sound drunk." He bent down to put his mouth to her ear, his voice again deep and husky. "My turn," he whispered, his voice thick with the promise of more. Kaoru had enough time to let her eyes widen but had to finish releasing her gasp of excitement with her back pressed against the far wall of the dojo.

She was facing him now, her legs again around his waist. Using the wall as a brace he began to move himself in and out of her, making her cry out with need. Hiko moved his mouth to her breast, suckling and biting greedily. Her right hand was again in his hair, pulling his just as hard as he had hers. Her left was slowly clawing its way diagonally across his back. He moved his mouth to the base of her throat and began his task again, drawing blood for the second time that night. She cried loudly out from the sensations.

"Come for me," he said in a husky, imposing voice.

"I can't do it again."

"That wasn't a request." He pulled his mouth away from her skin so he could thrust into her better, the height difference making some things impossible to do simultaneously.

Kaoru could feel the wall groaning in protest behind her as the larger man took her. She could feel the warmth rebuilding in her stomach as he moved within her. Her third orgasm was longer in bringing but the feelings were more than amplified as she called out louder than ever, conscious of every nerve in her body.

Hiko wasn't but two thrusts from joining her. He buried himself deeply one last time and closed his eyes as his larger body quivered above hers and he released himself into her. His knees buckled and they slid to the floor, neither releasing the other, waiting for the tremors to stop wrecking their bodies.

Then, just as quickly as it began it was over, the entire episode taking no more than ten minutes. When the sound of heavy breathing no longer fill the dojo, Hiko placed his hands on her tiny waist and pulled her off him. She whimpered in protest as her sore muscles flexed but she was too exhausted to move any part of her body voluntarily. He put one hand under her knees, the other behind her head and carried her to the bath he had prepared before finding her in the dojo.

As he lowered their bodies into the steamy water, Kaoru snuggled closer into his large chest and spoke in a voice hoarse from screaming. "You weren't lying."

"About what?"

"You're not gentle. Not gentle at all."

Kaoru was in her room, examining the fresh wounds in her mirror. They were sore and would be for a few days. "Kenshin's coming back any day now. There's no way these will be gone before he gets back. He was so mad about the first one." She put her hand to the side of her neck were the mark had almost faded, not as deep as the new ones. She smiled sadly, thinking that it was just one more obstacle she and Kenshin had to overcome.

She put on a clean kimono and went to Hiko's room to pick up a clean set of clothes for him as she had said she would. As she walked to the bathhouse she smiled, impressed that she had managed to get her way with the master swordsman that day. He had tried to get out of the bath first, but she had worn him down, knowing he would enjoy the relaxing water more than she would. She knocked on the door but didn't wait for permission to enter. Hiko was still in the water, his head back, long dark hair fanning around his muscular body.

"Hiko, I brought your clothes. They're by the towels. Meet me in the kitchen when you're done." She heard a grumbled "arigato" has she left the steamy building and headed to the kitchen.

She was just pouring the tea into the cups when he entered the room and sat down across from her. He spoke as he took his cup from her hand. He had been trying to figure out her expression and resigned himself to asking when he couldn't. "Do you regret it?" he asked in all seriousness.

"No, I don't. Do you?"

"There are few things in this life I waste energy fretting over. That is not one of them." He took a drink from his cup. "I know how angry Kenshin was when he saw the mark on your neck and now you have two more. I'll apologize for the repercussions of my actions, but not for doing them. I didn't want to make this any harder for you but it seems I have." Kaoru let a small smile spread across her face. "What?"

"It's just that I was thinking about the same thing a few minutes ago. I know he going to be angry with me—furious is more like it. I don't know exactly what his reaction is going to be. But he has to understand that I need to know that he's serious about coming home. That he isn't going to take this lightly and just expect things to fall back into the places they were in when he left. He has to be willing to forgive me and move forward just like I'm going to have to do with him. Otherwise there's no point in trying."

"That's a wise compromise, and likely the only one that will work in this situation. However, I wonder how well your relationship can be rebuilt after my interference."

"Your involvement is in no way responsible for whatever the outcome is. There are more than enough other complications to work through for any one to be the deciding factor."

"So does this mean you're letting him come back?"

She shook her head. "No. I won't know the answer to that until we've talked and at least attempted to work out some of our problems. I'm not sure if it's even possible for us to move past all this and we need to figure that out before we try for anything permanent again."

Kaoru spent the next two days training and catching up on the chores that had been piling up around the dojo. Even though her nightmares had been absent the previous two nights she still hadn't slept that well and was exhausted as she sat on the porch after finishing supper, watching the last rays of light fighting against the invading darkness in the sky.

Hiko came and sat behind her, bringing a cup of tea and his sake jug with him. He placed his hands on her shoulder to give her a massage, having noted how stiff her movements were that night because her muscles were so sore.

"Arigato."

"I brought you some tea." He paused long enough to hand her the warm cup. "Here."

"Arigato." She took as sip and made a gagging noise. "Not this stuff again!"

"Kaoru, both your body and mind are exhausted. You owe it to yourself to sleep well tonight. Please, just drink it and put my mind at ease."

"Fine."

Hiko smiled, knowing she would have drunk it anyway and that she just wanted to argue for appearance's sake. His hands kept their task, loosing the knots that had formed in her neck and back.

"Hiko?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you see how pretty the stars are tonight?"

"Hai."

"Do you think that maybe Kenshin's looking up at them as well? I used to spend hours staring up at them right after he left, wondering the same thing because I wanted to believe that there was still something out there connecting us together and that just maybe he was looking up at them thinking of me as well. That was when I thought I would never see him again. Sounds silly doesn't it?"

"Not at all. I did the same thing for the first few years after he left me to join the chaos that was the Bakumatsu. I heard the fearful tales of the Hitokiri Battosai and would gaze at the stars, wondering if anything of the sweet and innocent boy I'd raised was still there. The boy who was so filled with compassion and strength of spirit that his tiny heart could barely contain it all. It took fifteen years to receive an answer to that question."

"I never knew."

"Nobody does. I doubt he even knows."

"I'm sure he knows that you care for him. You're more like his father than master." Kaoru tried and failed to stifle a yawn as the tea began to take effect. "I know he can see through the insults and knows that's your way of showing him your proud of him."

Hiko snorted. "Still, I'd prefer it if you wouldn't say anything to him."

"I won't." Another yawn escaped her mouth.

Hiko stood and then helped her to her feet after placing the tea cup on the floor beside his sake jug. "If you don't go to bed now you'll fall asleep here and you're body will be all the worse for it."

"Hai," she yawned as she headed off to her room, still unaware that her husband would be returning in the morning.

"You're going to need all the strength you can get for tomorrow, Kaoru," he whispered as he returned her cup to the kitchen.

Later that night Hiko was sitting in the yard, again gazing at the stars. His dark eyes rested on the moon for a long moment before he filled the saucer for his sake, thinking about how his routine had been changed these last few days. He drained his first and filled an extra saucer, placing it in the grass beside him before filling his a second time. He placed the dish to his lips and closed his eyes, absorbing the night and thinking that the sake tasted better now that he had the time to appreciate it again. He felt the cool air sneaking its way under his mantle and heard a sound of rustling fabric next to him. He opened his eyes just in time to watch a pale hand lift the other saucer from the still ground. "I thought you said you wouldn't return until morning."

"I couldn't stay away any longer. I was going mad. I won't go any nearer to her than this until my time is up." There was a pause as he took a sip of the liquid. "Besides, I would have missed drinking sake with my shishou and you would have been cross with me for it."

"Fair enough." He said before filling his dish a third time, waiting for Kenshin to ask the question that was ready to burst from his lips.

After a few moments of silence, a small and defeated "Why?" came from the redhead, a hurt look on his face.

"Do not look to place this blame upon her. If you need to be angry with some one, let the anger fall on me." Hiko moved to pour more sake into both dishes. "I know what else you want to ask me and the answer is yes, Kaoru is still in love with you."

"That doesn't mean she's reached a decision. I've missed her so much these past months. I just couldn't face her until I came to terms with things on my own." He sighed sadly. "I'll never forgive myself if I've managed to drive her away from me forever." He turned his head to look at his master. "Has she told you if she's decided if I can truly return?"

"Hai, she has," although the look on the older man's face told Kenshin that he might not be happy with the result.

Okay, so I'm only planning on posting one more chapter, two max, but the good news is that when I'm done with this one I'm going to retry my original idea for a Hiko/Kaoru fic. Also I've got the opening paragraphs of four more (not all romance but certainly all Kenshin) started so be on the lookout in the new future.

Please, please review. Input is appreciated and ideas are always considered.