Howdy All! Here's the next chapter in this one….I apologize for the wait. I will try to update more often.
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Chapter Nine
We entered the cafeteria which was incredibly silent and made our way over to the machine that had jell-o inside. Ashley pulled out a few bills and handed me a red jell-o and Kyla one as well. She pushed me over to a nearby table and took a seat right next to me while Kyla sat across from us.
I looked at Ashley as she sat awkwardly next to me and I reached out to touch her hand. She let our fingers tangle with one another and sent me a beautiful smile and I smiled weakly back at her.
"Oh my god…I love jell-o…" Kyla exclaimed as she dove into her red gelatin treat. I looked down at my own snack and pushed it around watching it jiggle.
"You're not eating yours…" Ashley said looking down at my snack as well.
"Do you want to share?" I asked softly handing her my spoon. She nodded her head and took a scoop of the jell-o and ate it.
She held out the spoon for me and I took a scoop enjoying the sweet taste in my mouth. I caught a smile out of the corner of my eye and looked at Ashley with a curious glance.
"You have a little…here…" She leaned over and kissed me under my mouth sucking slightly. I shivered under her sudden movement and when she pulled back she looked at me with uncertain eyes.
Kyla coughed and I noticed her shift uncomfortably in her seat. I took my eyes away from Ashley's and heard her sigh as she sat further back in her chair.
"So…Kyla…how are you holding up?" I asked not wanting to have to deal with the tension that was in the air at the moment.
"I should be asking you that…" She said softly. "I mean I'm not the one who was shot…" She quickly shut her mouth when the frown fell on my face.
"Yeah…" I said looking down at the table top. I was now regretting leaving my room because at least in there I could pretend for a moment or two that this was all a dream. Sitting in the cold and partially dark cafeteria was letting the feelings of sadness and loneliness sink in even more.
"Spence?" Ashley asked squeezing my hand lightly. "Are you ok?"
I looked over at her and saw the concern in her eyes and nodded my head. "I'm fine…it's just…I…just…wish this was all a dream…a sick joke that my mind is playing on me…"
"I know sweetie…" She said leaning over to give me a hug.
I held onto her tightly and breathed in her scent because it always made me feel so secure. I couldn't resist the urge to kiss her neck and I felt her sigh heavily as my lips met her skin. She pulled back and rested her head against my own.
"We should head back to your room…" She said standing. I followed her movements as she stood up and took her position behind my wheelchair.
Kyla stood up as well and downed the rest of her jell-o throwing away the trash. She picked up my half-eaten cup and looked at both of us silently asking if we were through. I nodded my head and she threw it away.
We walked in silence back to my room where both Kyla and Ashley helped me back into my bed. Once I was situated, Kyla looked at Ashley and gestured towards the door.
"I'll be right back sweetie…" Ashley said placing a soft kiss to my temple.
Kyla waved a goodbye to me and headed out to the hallway with Ashley in tow. I strained my ears trying to hear any of the conversation Ashley was having with her sister but was having no luck.
After a few minutes, the door opened and Ashley made her way inside. She sat in the chair next to me and reached for my hand. I looked down at her tired face and tugged on her arm letting her know that I wanted her to lie beside me.
She stood and kicked off her shoes. She slid in next to me and wrapped her arms around my waist mimicking the position we were in for most of the day.
The silence was beginning to drive me a little crazy and I wanted to make this twisted reality disappear. I let my hand trail down Ashley's arm and around her back where I found the hem of her shirt. She let out a sigh when my fingers found the skin underneath.
I slid my hand up the back of her shirt tracing her spine and tried to undo her bra. Her breathing was heavier against my chest and I knew she was wanting this as much as me. I pushed her to lie on her back and I slid my other hand down the front of her body in a lightning speed motion.
My hand slid to the top of her jeans quickly unbuttoning them letting the material slacken. I lowered my hand inside when I felt her hand on my wrist stopping me from continuing. I looked at her with frustrated eyes and she looked back at me with hurt eyes.
"No…" She said almost inaudibly. "We can't do this here…not with you hurting…it wouldn't be right"
"And since when did you ever do anything that was right?" I said angrily surprising even myself.
She buttoned up her jeans and let out a deep sigh. I knew that I had hit a nerve and that she was trying to not let it bother her. "You're right Spence…" She slid off the bed and sat back down in the chair beside my bed.
"Ashley…I…didn't mean to sound so harsh…" I said cursing inside my head at how difficult I was making everything. "I just wanted to feel something…"
"I love you Spencer…" She said taking my hand. "I know that you are feeling all kinds of emotions right now but…we don't have to have sex to feel close…" She laughed and I looked at her with a confused stare. "I can't believe that I am turning down sex with you…" She shook her head and let out a deep sigh. "I must really be crazy…"
"No…you're not…" I said reaching to stroke her cheek. "You are perfect…now please…come back…" I looked at her with pleading eyes hoping she would lie down with me again.
"Remember your hands…" She said lightly and I smiled back at her. "Let's keep them above the waist…" She slid in next to me and kissed me softly.
I wrapped my arms around her once more and just held onto her until I felt my eyes begin to close.
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I pushed Spencer through the cafeteria and looked around to find any working machines. Luckily, there was one machine that had jell-o inside and I headed in that direction. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a few bills to buy the snack.
I placed each bill in the machine and reached inside to get a red jell-o for Spencer and another one for Kyla. We headed over to a table and I took a seat next to Spencer while Kyla plopped down at the other end.
I didn't know what we could talk about since everything seemed to be a touchy subject. Talking about our relationship would inevitably bring up the topic of Aiden and prom night. Talking about anything else would no doubt bring up memories of Clay and would drive Spencer deeper into a saddened mood.
I was brought out of my thoughts when Spencer's hand touched my own. I let our fingers entwine together and I couldn't help but smile at Spencer. She sent me a tired smile in return and I knew that she was still dealing with a mixture of emotions.
"Oh my god…I love jell-o…" I looked at Kyla who was eating hungrily at her jell-o and shook my head slightly at my sister's sudden outburst. I noticed that Spencer had not touched her jell-o and was just pushing it around with her spoon.
"You're not eating yours…" I said still watching her.
"Do you want to share?" She asked holding out her spoon to me. I nodded my head and took a small scoop bringing it to my mouth. The taste was actually quite comforting and my body was grateful that I put something in my belly even if it was just a little treat.
I handed the spoon back to Spencer and she took a scoop eating it slowly. Some of the jell-o had slipped off the spoon and had dribbled underneath Spencer's mouth and I couldn't help but smile when she didn't notice.
She looked over at me with a confused look and I couldn't resist. "You have a little…here…" I leaned over and brought my lips to where the jell-o had fallen and sucked it into my mouth. I felt Spencer shiver and I pulled back realizing that I had pushed her. I looked at her not sure of how she felt about my intimate gesture only a few seconds before.
Our gaze was broken when Kyla coughed and Spencer's eyes looked over in her direction. I let out a sigh and sat back in my chair feeling a bit angry with myself for what I had just done.
Spencer's voice broke through the silence that had taken over the room. "So…Kyla…how are you holding up?"
"I should be asking you that…" My sister said looking at Spencer. "I mean I'm not the one who was shot…" My eyes shot daggers at Kyla for bringing up the subject that I was hoping we could put off at least for this moment.
"Yeah…" Spencer said looking down. I knew she was now thinking about all the harsh realities that she was faced with and I wanted to take all her pain away.
I squeezed her hand as gently as I could. "Spence? Are you ok?"
She looked over at me with her tired blue eyes and nodded her head. "I'm fine…it's just…I…just…wish this was all a dream…a sick joke that my mind is playing on me…"
"I know sweetie…" I pulled her in for a hug trying to comfort her as much as I could.
Her breath was tickling my neck as she pulled me to her tighter. My breath caught when I felt her lips on my neck. I let out a deep sigh at the feeling her kiss had on my body and I pulled back trying to control my emotions. I leaned my head against hers and figured that it was time to get her back to her room so she could rest some more.
"We should head back to your room…" I said standing up and walking behind her wheelchair placing my hands on the handles.
Kyla got up and threw away her trash after finishing off her jell-o. She gestured towards the partially eaten jell-o Spencer and I had been sharing picking it up and Spencer nodded her head answering my sister's silent question.
I pushed Spencer back through the quiet halls of the hospital and into her room. Kyla helped me lift Spencer into the bed careful not to put too much pressure on her back. I looked at Kyla and she motioned with her head to the door.
I leaned over and placed a kiss on Spencer's temple. "I'll be right back sweetie…"
I followed Kyla towards the door and out into the hallway. I closed the door to the room and leaned against it looking at my sister. She stood shifting her weight from foot to foot.
"So…" I said not sure what was weighing on her mind. "Are you going to head back to the house?"
She nodded and looked up at me with sad eyes. I couldn't read her thoughts and wanted to know what was bothering her.
"Kyla…what is it?"
"Don't be mad at me…" She said looking down again. "But…I miss him…"
I shook my head knowing who she was talking about. "Look…this is your life…as your sister who cares more about you than he ever will I will say this once and only once…he's not good enough for you…and never will be…" I said angrily as I thought about my ex-best friend.
"I know…" She said quietly. "I just can't get rid of my feelings for him…"
"If you decide to go back to him…" I took a deep sigh. "I won't stop you…but all he's going to do is hurt you…"
She nodded her head knowing that I was right. I pulled her into a hug and she held onto me tightly.
"I have to get back…" I said pulling away. "Here are my keys…" I said handing her the keys to my car. "I'll call you tomorrow."
She nodded and walked with her head down out towards the front of the hospital. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. I couldn't believe that she still wanted Aiden in her life after what he had done but it wasn't my mistake to make. I knew that he would hurt her again but I wasn't going to be around to watch. Spencer was my one and only priority and I would be damned to let him try to ruin anything again.
I opened the door and headed back into Spencer's room. I took a seat next to Spencer's bed and held onto her hand. Spencer tugged on my arm urging me to join her in her bed.
I removed my shoes and slid in beside her lying my arm around her waist. She wrapped her arms around me and held onto me tightly.
I felt Spencer's hand make its way down my arm finally reaching behind me. Her fingertips glided against the skin on my back and I let out a sigh at the soft touch.
Her hand slid further up my back and eventually found the clasp of my bra. She tried to undo the bra with one hand but was having little success. I felt my heart beat race as I kept thinking of how much I wanted to be with her at that moment. She pushed on my shoulders so that I was lying on my back. I barely had time to react when Spencer's hand slid down the front of my body to the button of my jeans.
She undid the button and began to slide her hand inside the material. A slight panic went through my body when her hand moved inside and I reached for her hand stilling her motions. She looked at me with almost angry eyes and I looked back unsure of what to do.
"No…" I said underneath my breath knowing that we couldn't go any further. "We can't do this here…not with you hurting…it wouldn't be right"
"And since when did you ever do anything that was right?" She said with such anger that it felt like I had been slapped across the face. She had never spoken to me as harshly as that and I was in slight shock.
I fixed my jeans and sighed. "You're right Spence…" I wasn't sure what to do so I slid off the bed and sat down in the chair once more.
"Ashley…I…didn't mean to sound so harsh…" She said as I looked at the creases of the blanket on the bed. "I just wanted to feel something…"
"I love you Spencer…" I took her hand wanting her to know that I wasn't going anywhere. "I know that you are feeling all kinds of emotions right now but…we don't have to have sex to feel close…" I knew how dumb that sounded and laughed. She looked at me with a curious glance and I voiced what I was thinking. "I can't believe that I am turning down sex with you…" I sighed and shook my head. I mean this had to be a first for me but it just didn't feel right. "I must really be crazy…"
"No…you're not…" She said touching my cheek. I closed my eyes at the feeling of her fingers on my face. "You are perfect…now please…come back…" I glanced up at her and saw her eyes begging me.
"Remember your hands…" I said joking wanting to lighten the mood somewhat and she smiled at me. "Let's keep them above the waist…" I slid into the bed again and kissed her letting her know that I wasn't mad at her.
She wrapped her arms around me and we lay silent for awhile. I heard light snores coming from her direction and I pushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. She looked so peaceful and I leaned forward kissing her lightly. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.