Xejicka: I'm finally back! -gets hit in hit with large block labeled writer's- Ow! Yeah, now I remember.

Thalkxene: It's about time.

Xejicka: Derh! I know this update was longer than the last and I'm sorry. I'll be blunt on the reasons this time. There was writer's block, my deviantart account, some bouts of sadness for no reason, an English book report on The Last of the Mohicans, an advanced Plant Science essay on how to feed the world and band.

Thalkxene: -whistles- Yeah, not like she has time to write.

Xejicka: I've actually lost a lot of confidence about my writing skills. English class isn't helping at all. I'm trying to increase my vocabulary skills. I'm looking for humor so if anyone has ideas, share them and I'll give you credit.

Thalkxene: It would like to be known that before you even read anymore, watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

Xejicka: I'm not going to say why. Just watch the movie, it's awesome. I don't care if it takes you a month before you reveiw, because with the rate things are going, it could be another month before I submit another chapter.

Disclaimer: Xejicka does not own the Kingdom Hearts series, the Final Fantasy series, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Amaterasu or dancing fruits.

Thalkxene: Why do you keep putting up a disclaimer for every chapter?

Xejicka: To update on things I don't own. That and it gives me an excuse to do a rant before every chapter. -masamune lands right next to Xejicka- Gah!

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Chapter 19: Will Work For Food and Munny

Castle Oblivion

A considerably large amount of laundry was thrust in Jackie's arms as well as a broom, a mop, a bucket and various other cleaning supplies. She let out a loud scream when a very large pair of underwear landed on her head, which led to her falling to the ground.

"Gleh!" the berserker coughed as the stench attacked her nostrils.

"You are to do our laundry as well as do the cooking and cleaning. Do I make myself clear?" Zexion's words felt demanding and authoritative. Lexaeus towered over both Jackie and his comrade. She nervously looked up at the Silent Hero. She had met several tall people in her life, maybe even taller than this man, but they were never this intimidating. She managed to get back on her feet only to notice the chore chart hanging on a nearby wall. It specifically said the Lexaeus had the said chores.

"Why can't you do it? It's your job," Jackie pointed out to him.

"Look at the cloak you're wearing," the berserker looked down. The cloak looked like a miniture version of the organization cloak. Its sleeves were elbow lengthed and the rest only went down to her kneecaps. "That was the result of me doing the laundry," Lexaeus stated.

Jackie looked down dumbly at the cloak she wore. It fit her just fine, but there was one thing that bothered her if what Lexause said was true. "How the Hell did the zipper even remain intact?" she asked as she tugged on the zipper. Unfortunately, she was smacked in the head as soon as she finished her sentence. "What was that for?!"

"A lady should not use foul language,"

"It was just the word Hell."

BAM!

"Owww, dammit," the young berserker groaned as she rubbed her head. She saw the hand come back to hit her again and quickly flinched, arms held out to protect herself. The hand never made contact with her head. Jackie lowered her arms to see who her savior was, only to grimace.

"I don't need you injuring my latest test subject," Vexen coolly said as he held Lexaeus' arm back. He then turned his attention to the lastest test subject, who only gulped.

"Oh shit," Jackie said as she slowly backed away without realizing it. She did not move two inches before she found herself falling back and landing on her rear end. She looked down at what caused her to trip only to be put into a state of panic. Her hair's length had apparently gotten so long in such a short period of time for it had reached the point that she could walk on it.

Jackie suddenly started to hyperventilate as she started to feel very weak. "Get up!" the Chilly Academic commanded. The new experiment hastily stood up, shaky and having odd breathing patterns.

"M-my h-hair! What the Hell did you do to me?!" Vexen slapped Jackie across the face.

"I don't aproove of such language either. You know where that hair came form,"

"You don't hit a woman," Jackie shot back, that slap in the face put a rather small amount of sanity back into her. "I just wanna know how my body can sustain this hair growth. I feel weak, crap," she said under her breathe.

"Berserker," Zexion corrected behind Jackie. She nearly jumped out of her skin. Had he been standing behind her this whole time? "Get the laundry done. Lexaeus will call you when our next meal is needed," the Cloaked Schemer spoke, reading his Lexicon, not even looking at Jackie.

"Ehhh, where's the laundry room?" she asked as she tried to pick up all of the cleaning supplies and dirty clothes. Lexaeus bluntly pointed at the door right next to her. "Thanks," she quickly said as she hurried into the room.

All the laundry and cleaning supplies fell to the floor upon entrance. Jackie clutched her nose and stomach as she gagged. "Ugh! Dammit, why am I smelling things? My sense of smell hardly ever works, why now?" A knocking came from the other side of the door.

"Stop cursing and talking to yourself and get back to work," a voice said on the other side of the door.

"Stop eavesdropping on me, old man," Jackie shot back. She sat on the ground and massaged her eyes. This entire situation was bad on her, especially the language rules. Not many people know this, but Jackie cussed, alot. So much that she could make Cid Highwind run for his money or munny or gil, which ever currency you prefer. She looked at the pile of clothes. Their stench was enough to drive her into insanity. "What choice do I have?" she got up and started the foul chores.

An hour or so passed and the accursed laundry had finally transcended past the washer machine. Jackie had no idea why it took her so long to just simply start a load; nonetheless, it would be another hour at least before the laundry would be done. The only thing the berserker knew was that she could never look at underwear or Lexaeus the same again. There was nothing else to do so Jackie decided to take leave.

She slammed the door open only to have it hit something with a crash, a wobble and then the sound of a man falling to the ground with a thud. "Crap, who did I hit this time?" Jackie asked aloud with a hint of anger and dread in her voice. A small groan of pain replied. The berserker looked at the other side of the door and even more dread enveloped her.

Vexen was crouching, holding one side of his face that appeared to be hit. "What do you think you're doing?! Slamming a door open like that!" he shouted.

"What were you doing behind the door, old man?"

"Have some respect for your elders,"

"Whatever, you didn't answer my question,"

"..."

"You were eavesdropping on me, weren't you?!"

"..."

"That's sick! That is just sick and wrong. What kind of sick pleasure do you get out of that?!"

"..."

"Ugh! I'm going to the kitchen," Jackie stormed off angrily, only to trip on her own hair after walking a mere few feet. Then she quickly got up, picked up her hair and swung iot around her neck like a scarf and stormed off again. In a couple of minutes she would end up stopping again because she didn't even know where the kitchens were. None of that really concerned the Chilly Academic though.

In no time at all, Vexen quickly pulled out a notebook and a pen and he frantically started to scribble a few notes. "That fiery reaction was all that I needed for a new experiment! You have my thanks!" His nose had a small stream of blood coming out of it with. He had a facial expression that truly made him look like an insane man.

Zexion was walking silently through the hallways. He spotted the mad scientist scribbling. "Fanatical are we?"

"Yes. She may be vitriolic at times, but she is just what I've needed for a few experiments I want to start,"

"Why don't you actually finish the experiments you start?" Zexion suggested with a wave of sarcasm in his voice.

"Yes, that wolf will be hard to tame. I'm sure with the proper education she'll...," Vexen started to ramble about possible experiments and other ideas. The Cloaked Schemer shook his head and walked away, uninterested in what his colleage had to say.

Zexion preferred walking than to using portals. The walks made him think, something that was always good, nobody or not. Unfortunately, the slate haired man didn't have time to think for he quickly ran into Jackie, who was silently cursing to herself about where she would go.

Her smell offended Zexion. He didn't know why. It always seemed to attack his senses in such a disturbing manner. It didn't matter whether she bathed or not, she still smelled foul to him. Perhaps Vexen could actually perform a useful experiment that could alter scents. It would be a small mercy to the Cloaked Schemer.

Jackie stopped her cursing. The smell of a person caught her attention. Ever since she had actually qualified as a berserker, her sense of smell not only worked to complete levels, but it also increased in potency. She was terrified of actually smelling herself for fear of passing out. That aside, she quickly noted Zexion's presence and turned around.

"Umm... Any chance of you portalling me to the kitchens?" Jackie nervously asked.

"Lexaeus hasn't called you down to the kitchens," Zexion replied.

"I know, but I'm starving and I figured I could go ahead and start cooking. Y'know, get accustomed to all the stuff in there," Jackie went on as she moved her wrists as she talked.

"How do you remain so thin? I assumed you received plenty of food or nutrients if you're with Vexen. Yet you're always starving," Zexion's voice almost had a hint of shock in it.

The berserker looked down. She always had a lanky build. She was thin compared to most of the people she used to hang out with. Now that Zexion mentioned it, she was even thinner than usual. She was always hungry ever since she found herself in the hands of the nobodies. She wished she knew why. Zexion said something she couldn't hear.

Jackie was suddenly off daydreaming about random things. The mental image of Zexion only in boxers came to her mind. A pleasing thought that caused the berserker to grin without realizing it.. She was so lost in her gleeful thoughts that she didn't even see the portal form beneath her feet.

Hollow Bastion

"You dumbass!" Logan screamed at Matt who was curently being held in the air by the front of his shirt. Logan's fists were turning white, a look of utter fury on his face. Both men as well as a few other memberss of the small army were out in the market area of Hollow Bastion.

"I'm sorry I didn't count the munny right. How was I suppossed to remember that you needed to add two zeros at least to make the money here equal to ours?" Matt replied almost sarcastically. He looked tiny compared to the man that was holding him.

"How about the fact that you played a game about this place?" Logan responded.

"So did Paul," Matt pointed out.

"Leave me out of this," Paul said as he turned his attention away from the display window he was looking inot. He couldn't afford whatever was in there.

"Those cloaked guys got a bargain on all of my manga. What are we going to do now? We're broke, the money we did have, we spent on a house and we have to do construction work for food!" Sara complained at Matt. Logan let go Matt who fell to the ground with a thud.

"A little work won't kill you guys . We were lucky just to get here and don't give me crap about the money. If you guys want some extra cash, then you have to get it the old fashioned way," With that statement, Matt got up from the ground, threw his hat off and did what he did best. Dance. Sara gawked at him. Logan slapped himself on the forehead before he pulled out his guitar and started tuning.

'We need amps. We could at least play for hotdogs," the blonde pointed at a hotdog stand not far from where he was sitting.

"Didn't think ability rings would be that huge," Paul thought aloud, clearly ignoring the guitarist. The large brunette was still looking at the showcase, marveling at the odd items. Sara just looked around, noticing that Matt already had some munny tossed into his hat, courtesy of a few flirty old women.

He gave a trademark grin to those kind enough to give him spare change. "I gotta get into some of that," Sara said to herself. She looked around frantically to see if there was anything she could do. Luckily, Paul noticed.

"Don't worry about the money," he reassured the short girl. "I know a way we can get some," with hat comment, he turned to the few refugees that bothered to stay withthem. "Any of you Mel Brooks fans?" a few nods and hands raises came as a reply. Paul was almost satisfied with this. "Good, now have any of you seen Robin Hood: Men in Tights?"

Castle Oblivion

Jackie landed flat on her face against the hard kitchen floor. "Oww, the guy could have at least warned me about the porta lto the floor," she groaned as she got up. Then the mental image of the sexy Zexion wearing only boxers found its way back into her head. "Damn that ADD," she sighed as she got back on her feet.

The kitchen was barren. There were pots and pans, but no actual food. Not that Jackie could see anyways. Her main issue was that she didn't know how to actually cook. She knew how to read recipes, but she didn't know any by heart. Cooking was Lexaeus' job, he should at least know how to do a little. Maybe the giant could help her somewhat.

The berserker snuck out of the kitchen and into another room. Much to her luck, Lexaeus was in there, furiously trying to figure out a rubix cube puzzle at a small table. Silently, she crept up behind the Silent Hero and tapped her shoulder.

WHAM!

The force of the fist knocked Jackie so hard that she flew back, breaking through the door and landing hard against the kitchen wallwith a crash. There was a sickening crack and pots and pans clattered on top of the human (or berserker) bowling ball. It was not long that Lexaeus charged into the kitchen to see the damage. "What did you need?" he asked calmly. He didn't even seem to notice that the kitchen door was merely reduced to splinters from his hit.

"An ambulance," Jackie replied bitterly. She managed to climb out of the pile of kitchenware, even though her stomach, arm and back hurt. Lexaeus took heed of this.

"Reflexes, sorry," his words felt no heart.

"I don't want to try to throw a hit against you if that was the result of a tap," Jackie tried to get on her feet. She hurt bad and she didn't like the sound of that crack. "Geez, all I wanted was some help with the cooking. If you're gonna back hand me, I'll do it myself," she scoffed as she brushed off her short cloak. Her arm hurt really bad. Not as bad as when Xemnas threw her, but comparable.

"Perhaps I'll do the cooking," Lexaeus suggested, a hint of concern developed as he spoke.

"Sweetness, thank you," Jackie thanked gratefully. She knew this guy wasn't called the Silent Hero for nothing. "I owe you alot, I'll try to make it up to you. After a nap," she said as she walked out of the doorway. Fate would not be too kind on this girl upon exit.

Hollow Bastion

"We're men. We're men in tights. We stroll around the forest looking for fights," Within a short amount of time, Paul had gathered enough of his male companions to dance. Matt managed to get into their dance and his hat filled with even more munny. It wasn't the fact that these men were merely singing and dancing that got people's attention. It was what they were singing in dancing.

They drew so much attention that even shadow heartless peered over from hidden shadows to watch. Somewhere, high above, on a building, a nobody on duty was watching. "Should I be freaked out by this?" he asked. The authoress would like to say: Yes, Roxas, yes you should.

"We may look like yancys, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights!" a large crowd of people assembled around the dancers. Some were laughing, others were staring in shock. Amaterasu managed to get into veiw of this mob.

"Dancing fruit, dancing fruit...," she mumbled to herself. She hated how vague Fate was in her instructions. How did that woman expect her to deliver this package? Fate didn't even give a deadline, that would have at least hinted location. Amaterasu scanned over the entire box.

No notes, no words, no symbols, nothing of distinction. She growled to herself in some anger as she looked at the large crowd before her. The sound of men singing about tights drew her closer until she finally saw the root of attention. A few of the guys from the small army were now in the middle of a can can, every other man flipped backwards as they were singing their girly tune.

"They're all dancing fruits!" a wide eyed Amaterasu breathed. How could Fate be so cruel? After another minute of dancing, the men finally stopped. Most of them exhausted, some bowed as the crowd cheered and applauded. Only one man continued to dance in his own style as the crowd cheered him on. This man was the great Matt Holden. "There's my dancing fruit," Amaterasu said with a releived smile.

"Thank you, thank you," This man looked confident, but fruitier than others. He was dressed like a punk, but didn't act like it. No time like the present for pushing his buttons.

"I have a package for a dancing fruit," Amaterasu called out bluntly.

"That would be him," Sara pointed out to Matt. He gave her a dirty look then turned to Amaterasu. Sara laughed at him as she crouched down.

"Yeah, I'm not a fruit," Matt corrected. He wasn't convincing anyone.

"I have this box, do you want it or not, fruit?" Amaterasu asked impatiently. It wasn't like she was getting anything in return for this errand. If she was, she didn't know it.

"Stop calling me a fruit and I'll take it," Matt answered as Amaterasu tossed him the brown package. Logan, Paul and Sara immeadiately crowded around Matt in hopes of finding out what's in the box. Amaterasu shrugged her shoulders and walked. She had a feeling this wouldn't be that last she would see of this group.

"What's in the box?" Paul quickly pestered.

"How should I know? It's not even opened yet," Matt answered as he started to rip open the mysterious package only to get interrupted by a man's happy screams. A blonde was flying through the heavens, his happy screams getting louder and louder until...

CRASH!

Right into the hotdog stand. Hotdogs, buns, ketchup, pickle relish and bits of metal flew everywhere. The four Terrans (A/N: I'll call then Terrans because Terra means Earth and it sounds better than Earthlings. I am not ripping off Trinity Blood because there won't be any vampires in this story, at least not yet) ran over to the crash site. A blonde head witha tattoo on the left cheek popped out of the mess, a smile on his face and a hotdog in his hand.

"This really is a reward," Zell said tearfully with a happy smile on his face.

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Xejicka: Guys, once again, I'm sorry for the slow updates. If you guys have any suggestions, give them to me. I'll give credit where it is due.

Thalkxene: We are fully aware of the typing and spelling errors. That's what you get when the only word processing program on your computer is Wordpad.

Xejicka: The thing is, I'm too lazy to download a program. I really really need to though.

Sephiroth: Then why don't you get off your lazy ass and get the program!

Xejicka: Gahhhh!!!!

Thalkxene: Hi Sephy, honey.

Sephiroth: Maybe one suggestion is to put me in the story more often.

Xejicka: I'm doing it right now, aren't I? About the credit thing... Thank rikufanattic for the fruit jokes targeted to Matt. If it weren't for her PMs, small army scenes wouldn't be as funny. I'd also like to thank her for letting me use Amaterasu. I would also like to say that most of Vexen's lines were ripped off the manga. The manga is funny and you should read it.

Thalkxene: Xejicka's birthday is on the 9th!

Sephiroth: Who cares?

Xejicka: I do. I would like to add that I actually gave a last name to one of my characters. Matt's last name is Holden. I'm trying to think of other last names for my other characters, but his was the easiest. Thanks for reading and try to reveiw!